THE GREAT WHITE DOPE

 

...And a Hunter shall lead them pt. 3. Maybe at this point we should all just accept that every single show that is on actual TV is probably going to feature the new WWE COO WTF OMG LMAO 3OH3 SCSA TBD Co&Ca ROFL. What did this continued regime bring? Let down in an angle? Can Zack Ryder continue to show up on television? Does Michael Cole show up in trunks again? Will anybody actually care about the result of the Diva Battle Royal? Maybe they added a third spinning belt. Wouldn't that be something? Everyone on the roster just walks out and says "Hey Hunter, this thing spins too. Call me champ, b****!"

Johnny Craze

Holy unbelievable sh*t, I totally forgot about the Divas battle royal to determine a number one contender to Kelly Kelly's title.

If Natalya, Gail Kim, or Beth doesn't win, I riot.

Mike Johns

Mike Johns was not even remotely aware of this phenomenon taking place later tonight. That should tell you a lot right there.

TheGreenTeabagger

Get ready to riot then.

My money's on Nikki Bella.

Tenchi

You're not the only ones that forgot. I was only just reminded myself.

Peter Dawson

Yeah I'm going five to one its Nikki, ten to one its Melina, four to one its Brie, and fifteen to one its Eve. No one else sadly registers. Beth Phoenix still has a job, right?

            Johnny Craze

            Are Beth, Natalya, and Gail in the battle royal?

                        Peter Dawson

                        Dunno, isn't clear if its Raw only of if Smackdown is included. Beth should be, forget which brand Gail is even on. Nat is Smackdown so we'll see.

Nuwanda

Let's see: It's 3 a.m., Raw will last till 5. University will start at 8, which means I'll probably get no sleep..... so this raw better be good!!!!

( HT Note: That is some crazy dedication to a hobby right there)

Mike Johns

Who the hell let Cole ruin this perfectly good commentary team with his presence?

Nuwanda

Wanna get a reaction? Just drop the name "Cena"

Mike Johns

"I'm not gone one week, and Superman is already back on top. F*** that s***!" - CM Punk (slightly paraphrased)

JohnnyCraze

HHH should bring back The Mountie

Nuwanda

The Latin sentence on Triple H' titantron doesn't make any sense....

Mike Johns

Yeah... I'm really hating H being "in charge" already. Actually, I just hate the fact they've given him an excuse to talk on a live mic and go over time like he almost always does because he takes too long to say one thing #hoganitis.

Dude would be a perfect fit in a TNA opening segment #STFU

Nuwanda

Great opening segment.....hope WWE doesn't ruin it.

They'll manage, make no mistake about it^^
Although I've got a better feeling than ever that they will actually go out of their way and not do!

TheGreenTeabagger

Kelly Kelly on commentary.

Jim Ross is glad to be back. :-/

Mike Johns

Holy hell, I'm having SmackDown flashbacks. Kelly is like the young white girl version of Booker T

JohnnyCraze

Beth just won and turned heel.......awesome!!!

Nuwanda

Beth Phoenix
I hope they realized they need to put the title on someone who can wrestle...
And heel Phoenix rocks!

Mike Johns

Anyone else just have the horrific thought that kelly is going to pin Beth.....clean?

By the way, Beth Phoenix screwed up.....Kelly's still in one piece.

Not until you had to say something. Then again, in a world where Tessmacher holds a title, anything can happen.

Mike Johns

Am I wrong for saying that I wish Mysterio was still WWE Champion?

No. Many of us do.

The Chosen 1

And just like that R-Truth plants the seeds so that JG's horrible prophecy comes true......

Wolfchild

God I wish WWE would care about tag team wrestling again. That is basically the only real reason I watch TNA anymore..

RowdyRodimus

"We already are giving you Punk. You Are NOT getting a flippy floppy guy to go over anymore for a while"- Vince responding to internet critics for jobbing Bourne.

TheGreenTeabagger

Theme song d*ck fight.

JohnnyCraze

Well, we all kind of knew it was going to be Punk vs Cena at Summerslam but I feel this thing is kind of rushed. I guess I just wish Punk didn't come back to fast. What if Cena wins? Then what? Punk is gold right now. Having Cena win would be the dumbest thing to do right now....so yea, I'm guessing that's what will happen.

Aliasyoshi

I was actually hoping that they would strip Punk of the title. Really not sure where that would change much, but it seemed to make sense to me at the time.

This Week in WWI Forum History

We're starting off our time-traveling through the WWI Super-highway the way we do each and every single week: The Moment of Insanity. Yes, this was a magical weekly moment in which the WWI readers and forum members sent their thoughts to James Guttman about the most insane thing they saw in wrestling all week. Mr. Guttman would then in return send out an audio discussing the moment, it's insanity, and read some comments on the air. We'd all have a good chuckle, realize the insanity of it all, and then three years later you have a momento of this absurd thing that use to be. Without further ado why don't we start our journey down the yellow-brick road?

The Moment of Insanity - July 29^th 2006

ZAH

After listening to JR's references to Shakira's "Hips don't lie" (a more forced sexual reference to Melina you'll never hear) and his artificial drooling over the Divas all night, I'll got my early vote set. I mean, I've heard JR try to act hip before, but last night he was absolutely over-the-top (how 'bout his attempts at mimicking the Highlanders' accent??)...and not in a good way.

Matt Dawgs

Mine is Matt Striker getting away with both stating that "There's no need to worry, I memorized my lines" which is obviously an insider reference to Miz and WWE writers making sure the workers remember their lines.

AND THEN

once he started going deeper into his promo, he mentioned the dictionary, the letter H, says the word Homicide and while he does it, subtly gives the Hit Squad (Homicide, Low-Ki, Julius Smokes, Laithon, Dan "Mafia" Maff and Monsta Mack) hand signal.

TheGreatWhiteDope

Time for me to veer ourselves to the left here with this week (in truth...2 months+) Moment of Insanity. Easily up there with the top 5 moments/trips so far of the year.

Kevin Nash actually attempting to put over the X-division and not just squashing them like little children. Building credibility of the division and help raise the star-power of Shelley, Divine, and Sabin.

This is being done at its best. Nash is staying clear of the ring (which is easily a good thing...he's running close to hurting something...the clocks counting) and cutting promos that demote the X-division as a whole.

But while doing that and seemingly negating what I've said, when he's in the ring with the said X-division star (in this case Mr. Chris Sabin) he is actually putting him over. Attempting to show that power beats show/flash Nash actually sells Sabin's moves and leaves the impression that Sabin is better than him.

Nash is not winning any X-division match without cheating or outside help from a Mr. Alex Shelley. He is not squashing Sabin and then letting sabin get in a lucky shot and roll him up (ala Rey Rey) he is actually letting Sabin go over him cleanly and decisively.

Which is a really weird roll to see Nash play.

On top of that, Nash is at his peak point of entertainment. I thought after multiple trips to the emergency room, and crap booking that Nash was done, sure he can talk, but his time as being as bright and funny as he was was done.

Now here I sit eagerly awaiting impact each week to see nothing more than Nash and Shelley's skits in which Shelley is attempting to teach Nash how to become an X-division athlete.

I for one am amazed that Nash has put over the X-division and will seemingly be doing so until his contract is up.

Nash putting over the X-division as a whole to make them all look better? That is more insane than the moves of those wrestlers from the great 2 sided ring in Madagascar.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

I couldn't help myself.

T-Dog

Okay, i'm going with the absolute horrendusness of the Big Show/Batista ECW title match.

1) The match itself was bad. It was just really slow and Batista did nothing really good at all. Show is a good champion, but that was his worst title match so far. They could have made it "extreme rules" at least and had a solid hardcore brawl. I know two big men are going to have a slow match, but at could they have fought with some fire.

2) "Change the Channel", "Same Old Shit", "You Both Suck" "Boring", etc. Not to mention about five or six guys turned their backs on the match and were trying to get others to do the same.

3) Tazz trying to cover up the badness. "Change the Channel? Why, this match is exciting.", "The fans are chanting boring when this match is anything but boring!" and Joey overselling the power moves like there earth-shattering which got annoying.

4) Why isn't a "EXTREME Championship Wrestling Championship match" not EXTREME rules by default?

Not to mention the end match angle with Sabu/Show being better than the match itself. just overall an insane 15 minutes.

Curse_7781

I'm going with T-Dog's choice of "MOI" pick, which was this weeks ECW main event where the crowd turned on both Big Show & Batista.

It was a sight to see because although the crowd was chanting "Boring", "Same Old Shit" and the quote that pretty much should guarantee this as the MOI...the "Change the Channel" chant. What that last chant should've told any other viewer to change the channel quickly and head to sleep, the wrestler fan in all of us stayed because this was something nobody other than people who buy ECW PPVs are used to seeing a Sci-Fi channel. Joey Styles and Tazz couldn't cover up the fact that this match really did suck and there was nothing to proud of as their lame attempts (by Vince telling them via headsets) to make it sound like what it wasn't.

The fact that both wrestlers performances were affected by the chants and the reactions of the crowd tell the match itself. The finish of that match certainly didn't help the WWE case of why it was meant to be on if it was going to end on that note when they could've have had someone else other than Batista in that match. The quality of the wrestling was average but what also made the match interesting from a viewer perspective was the crowd really tearing apart the view from the supporters of the Big Show who say he can be a good champion because he knows how to wrestle. If the Big Show was that professional and a good wrestler, he wouldn't let a some chants despite being loud affect his performance and still put out a great wrestling performance.

Personally, I'm not surprised about the crowd's reaction on Dave Batista because of the WWE-"look" the old-school ECW fans despise in the WWE's feel on who is "main event" material.

It really went against the grain of what the WWE wants the shows to represented and the match itself then turned into a "Old School ECW Fans" against "WWE coporate mentalitity" and it seems to me that the crowd really want to represent the view on what wrestling should be about to them but also is stupid since they are buying ECW shows that are totally run by Vince McMahon. Crowd noises don't speak to Vince McMahon, not buying tickets and watching the TV shows speak volumes to him than making the type of crowd noise Vince doesn't want.

Those are my reasons on why this is my pick for this week's ECW main event being the "Moment of Insanity".

Fritz Stephey

I'm going to agree with T-Dog here...With the crowd chants, the attempted masking of the crowd (I don't know if anyone else caught it, but to me it sounded like they jacked up Tazz and Styles mics to mask the crowd...of course that was probably in case the crowd wanted to dive into some other choice words); Tazz and his horrible cover-ups ("Change The Channel" chants and Tazz goes "We love it here on Sci-Fi!"). All in all I think ECW is on it's way up, but in my mind, it still needs major work. But that match...yeah, pretty much wow.

One of our hottest threads in all of the WWI forums is the Random Insane Wrestling Pics thread. What does that include? Well, random slightly insane wrestling pictures. Here are the greatest hits from this week in WWI History.

Random Insane Wrestling Pictures - July 25^th-Aug 2^nd (Various Years)

With that we come to the end of this week's journey through the history of the WWI Forum. Do you have any awesome random wrestling picture? Join the board and throw them on there. Do you feel like playing Fantasy Football but hate football and love wrestling? Then join the forums and sign up for WWI Fantasy Wrestling located in the "Gathering of Wood" section of our forums.

As for me well...I have three weeks-ish left of summer and I'm going on a nerd vacation. So I shall see all of you in about two weeks. If you want updates about really random stuff in the gaming world just follow me @ThisCoreyLetson and from Thur-Sun this week you could be in for a treat. There will also possibly be random philosophical quandaries thrown in for good measure. Until next time, PEACE!

THE GREEN TEABAGGER

WWI's very own one and only Canadian Bulldog released what an article showing off ten of the worst entrance themes ever used in WWE or WCW Here <---not actually here, you have to click the link to get to the article but you get the idea.

James Bullock: One song that I always thought sucked horribly, but rarely gets mentioned is Bret's WCW theme. It sounded like someone trying to communicate with aliens. Other than that miss, a perfect list.

Aaron Wood: Kudos on not picking the obvious candidates such as guys like TL Hopper or Bastion Booger.

That said, I've got a soft spot for Rob Conway's theme...

Me personally, I've never been able to stand that dreck Marc Mero used, any theme music ever used by Stephanie McMahon, the theme to NXT (We...are....Wild AND Young---sounds like a theme used for a phone sex ad), and a bunch of others that stunk.

Feel free to register and log into the  Wrestling Insanity Message Boards, find your way to Canadian Bulldog's Pound (you can't miss it, it's the one with the big Canadian Bulldog as its pic), and share with the boards what entrance songs make your ears bleed.


The following match is from Japan.

The following match features a young man named Kenny Omega.

The following match features Kenny Omega wrestling a nine year old girl.



This video evoked some very, very different reactions from some of the WWI board members and the boss James Guttman---whoever that guy is.

Aaron Wood: This may be the most awesome thing I've ever seen. Mike's (Johns) gonna have a fuckin' field day with this one...

ZAH: That was f*cking dumb.

Aaron Wood: It was funny. And she was a helluva seller. And hell, at least Kenny wasn't wrestling a God-damned blow-up doll...

Like this one....




Mike Johns: Japan is a very weird place.

James Bullock: Awww, kids these days. I want to see a match between her and the youngest person to ever win a match at 5 months old a.k.a. Kevin Steen's son.

The Green Teabagger: She's better than Heath Slater.

Hornswaggle no longer has an excuse.

I demand Haruka and the blow-up doll against Tara and Miss Techmacher for the TNA KO Tag Titles (well, both sides would have their own blow-up doll so it evens out)

TheGreatWhiteDope: Kenny Omega just makes this complete magic.

Mike Johns:
The kid's obviously trained. Don't know if it's a wrestler's kid, or if Japan lets you train grade schoolers, or what, but someone's been working with her and teaching her stuff. No way you're doing that on your first try. As to whether or not she's better than, say, Kelly Kelly... she is at points, and others, she's worse. Part because of age, part because of lack of training/experience. Her psychology actually seems better, but that could also be outside factors, such as Omega, or the fact that there's no way this match wasn't run though, spot by spot, at least a half dozen times before the show. If KK had that advantage, her matches would be better, too. Beyond that, it's a kid that's actually been shown how to do stuff, and allowed to practice it in the ring. For the short comedy match, she's fine. But in the actual "serious" match sense, KK and this kid are more or less on even ground. They have about the same amount of training, KK has got to have more ring time overall, and, outside of the theory that the kid probably has a better sense of what wrestling actually is, while KK goes through it like a dance routine, you really can't say, fairly, the kid is better.

The problem is, with me saying that, I'm equating a 20-something Divas champ with a 9 year old girl. I'll even admit, given the match, the opponent, and the lack of other footage, I'm likely giving the kid too much credit. Also, KK is probably a better seller.

What's cool here is that no matter what Omega does here, it almost has to come off as overselling regardless, but he actually does make it look more legit that it should have.

RYTMAN: Here's my question...
If the WWE tried something like this, would we be blown away by the new era of awesome?
Or would we start a BITCHFEST on a biblical scale?

Mike Johns: I'd probably be asking how come Aurora Rose looked Asian.

That might be the one-liner of the year for Hot Threads.


ZAH: I don't have a problem with comedy matches. I enjoy Chikara and a number of indy promotions (here and in Japan) that specialize in the ridiculous (ex: the Ant Colony vs. Chuck Taylor match on YouTube where he throws an invisible grenade and the whole thing is done in slow motion...that shit's hilarious to me).

Maybe it was not being able to know the story leading up to the match, or not knowing Omega's character (his gimmick was a lot more toned down and, thus, sillier and more enjoyable when I saw him in the U.S.), or just not "getting it"...but I thought this was thoroughly a waste of my time. Not funny, not entertaining, and certainly not what everybody seems to be making it out to be.

Is the girl good for her age? Hell yeah...just the ability to SELL at nine years old is impressive. Is the match as a whole entertaining? I really don't think so...but that's just me.

James Guttman: I wouldn't really like this on any stage. I think things like this are silly and not wrestling-silly, but just silly pointless silly.

It's like that hypnosis thing that hit big on Youtube. People thought it was great. It bothered me a bit because while I knew many fans were laughing at how ridiculous it was, many others were laughing at us and not with us.

At the end of the day, it's easy to do comedy in wrestling without going over the edge of ridiculous. That's just my opinion. If it's a company's direction to present a product like that and people like it - great. I just don't. Wouldn't like it in WWE and wouldn't like it in a high school gym. It makes me feel like everything I'm watching is just play-acting.

...Or, I should say, reminds me that everything I'm watching is just play-acting.

Exx: I thought it was okay for what it was. I can't believe he actually connected with the enziguiri.

When I watched it I was thinking is this supposed to be Japan's answer to Hit Girl?

I think there's an eleven yr old girl who competes in blue ribbon over there but this one would definitely be the youngest I've seen.

Hornswoggle needs to step up his game.