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Hot Threads: Wrestling Film Insanity, Dead Families Don't Buy Tickets, Sin Cara Es Su Cara, Avatar of The Week, Bulldog vs. Wood, and More
By Jessie "Squeaky" Brazil, Corey "TheGreatWhiteDope" Letson, and Emmett "The Green Teabagger" Gore
Mar 2, 2011 - 8:41 AM

THE GREEN TEABAGGER

 

 

Avatar of the Week
Funny avatars can show off a person's individuality as well as possibly make you question their mental state.  In this case, perhaps a bit of both.

We present this week's Avatar of the Week award to new C-Show Showdoan Host...  squirrelz!

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Congratulations squirrelz!  You win Victory Fudge!
World Wrestling Insanity E-Fed

Last week, in the exciting world of role-playing games, the World Wrestling Insanity e-fed presented 'Descent into Madness' live via internet satellite in Baltimore, Maryland which resulted in a new World Champion, a startling heel turn (or two), and a brutal Utopian Title match that left three contenders in rough shape but with the championship still in the hands of the reigning champion.

What?  You want results?  Sorry, you'll have to register for the World Wrestling Insanity Message Boards and look into the World Wrestling Insanity E-Fed Roleplaying forum to get the results....or join up.  To compare, it's kinda like World of Warcraft without the graphics, the elves, the orcs, the trolls, dragons, and zombies.  We have a dwarf though.

But last night, on Tuesday Night Throwdown on the Highway to Insanitymania 6, the General Manager began an eight-person tournament to determine the number-one contender to the Utopian Champion.  The matches were randomly determined and no one knew who they were facing until the match began.

The eight contenders are:  Nasty Ned, Markus Ramius, Exx, Kira, The Green Teabagger (hey, I know that guy), Wolfchild, J.D. Mayfield, and Tornado.

In other exciting action, Anthony Analog looked to continue getting revenge on The Illuminati for putting him out of action for nine months against one-half of the tag team champions The A-List, 'The Renaissance Man' Alexander Phoenix.

Speaking of tag teams looking to get a shot at The A-List, The Merchants of Death take on Sugar and Spice.  Both teams look to climb the ladder to earn a chance at the tag titles.



This week, WWI stalwart Canadian Bulldog (real name Woody Aaronson) presented his usual excellent articles but only one sparked up conversation this week.

 Canadian Bulldog Presents... 5 Wrestling-Related Films That Didn't Exactly Receive Oscar Nods

I still can't figure out how Tiny Lister didn't get a Best Supporting Actor nomination for No Holds Barred.  James Bullock felt the same way about the special effects for one special scene.

James Bullock:  I still to this day don't understand how this scene from the greatest movie of all time didn't win an Oscar for best special effects.


squirrelz! had an insightful comment on "The Jesse Ventura Story"

squirrelz!:  Great column leader of the iWo. I loved reading about how Jesse Ventura was there to see Raven commit the LAX screwjob, broke Goldbergs winning streak, his career ended in a match with Kanyon, did commentary with a bearded Gorilla Monsoon. It brought back some great memories of "The Body" like when he was in a tag team match for the world title partnering with Dane Cook against Billy Kidman and Steve Buscemi in Ft. Lauderdale. Come on, you have to remember that one! Dane Cook became World Champ! A skinny, 20 year old uncharismatic Bobby Heenan was there?

And of course, who could forget that cinematic masterpiece of crap Ready to Rumble.  You remember?  Even though you try to forget that Ready to Rumble was WHY David Arquette became WCW Champion, or maybe it was because Vince Russo had too much Cranberry Schnapps.  Who knows?  Mike Johns said it best about Ready to Rumble.

Mike Johns:  Ready to Rumble really was one of those movies you have to see to believe. If someone told you a movie this stupid about people that retarded with a plot that insane existed, you'd call them a liar. Then you'd see it. Yep, it's real. No wonder David Arquette went to rehab...

 

 

 

 

THE GREAT WHITE DOPE

 

 

 

I realize now being a WWI columnist (you say copy and paste man, I say tamato) that some of my more raucous and wild comments I make on twitter (Self-plug: @ThisCoreyLetson) need to take a step back. My stupid stuff shouldn’t lead people towards how James Guttmann (@JamesGuttmanWWI ) does his site. Granted I don’t work for a world-wide wrestling company and I don’t wish death upon people, often. Jeremy Borash (@JeremyBorash ) how I love you so…..

 

Galaxy

@JeremyBorash: United Kingdom TNA fans ... HUGE news coming in the next 24hrs. Stay tuned

@iangregory70: @JeremyBorash hope your put the UK fans out of their misery and take this s*** off the air over here @TNADixie

@JeremyBorash @iangregory70 (in a dm) I hope your whole family dies.

 

Aaron Wood

The word out there suggests that Borash sends this sort of thing, although not necessarily as strongly, to folks who diss him or TNA by DM.

 

Mike Johns

I bet JB doesn't like me too much.

 

RowdyRodimus

#FireBorash on Twitter. Since Dixie does whatever her Twitter tells her, maybe she'll get the message if enough people do it.

 

Outside of the ramblings of a plausible insane man, TNA got the WWI Galaxy (patent pending) up in arms over a huge, gigantic, ginormous, amazing, incredible, never seen coming, another word for big, another word for surprisingly HUGE SURPRISE! The best way to tease a surprise? Who loves numbers? Who loves dates? Who loves telling someone a date by just using numbers? Who watched TNA Impact? By the WWI Galaxy output about 10 people…maybe.

 

Squirrelz!

Meanwhile, later tonight, get ready for the POSEDOWN!!! between Steiner/Terry. This was ratings when Steiner did it with Triple H back in the day so I bet TNA is expecting a .5 ratings boost from this? How do these guys fail with such great ideas again?

 

Wolfchild

Did Gunner and Murphy get promotions? The have actually uniforms now... No more security shirts..

 

The Chosen 1

Is Bubba just gonna put a random black guy through a table to get to Devon because he's a black guy.

Squirrelz!

Watching the Hogan press conference from 2009 is like watching the beginning of a Three Stooges episode... That has gone on for a year and a bit

 

The Green Teabagger


They aren't even trying anymore are they?

 

James Guttman

This Sting thing is the perfect example of how TNA doesn't "get it".

TheGreatWhiteDope


TNA is just a really bad B-movie.

TNA is the wrestling company version of "The Room"

 

James Bullock

I think everyone's getting up in arms for nothing. This could be TNA's new thing. You know they love their different phases of ripping off WWE, WCW, and mostly anything that's been done in the past few years (or in this case, as recent as last week). Former WWE and WCW gimmicks (Stone Cold, Macho Man), storylines (NWO, Austin vs. Vince), and now, return vignettes. This could be the beginning of a series of return vignettes used to bring back such talents as Abyss, Desmond Wolf, Kurt Angle (because retiring, then returning a few days later is a great indication that he'll retire and return again before the year's out), Samoa Joe (once he gets kidnapped in April by Donnie Darko-looking bunnies), David Young, Magnus, and Phi Delta Slam. Think of the possibilities!

 

SQUEAKY

 

 

 

TheGreatWhiteDope (legal name Claudio Dopenyoli) and his band generator game are still going strong.  

 

Hellsinger: Spacetoon Radio, Blame the Wind for Revealing Them.

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Timpossible: Presenting the Debut Sure-to-be-a-smash album from Welsh pop-punk trio, Glyncorrwg

 

Shane Daniels: The Iron Maidens, but having opinions is an art.

 

RDLee: Look at the face of the girl with the ball…Priceless.

 

Shane Daniels: she looks like she just let one go.

 

James Bullock: I've been trying to figure out who she looked like, then it hit me: Tony Mamaluke!

 

T his is just the tip of the creative iceberg.   Visit the forums now and contribute something so offensive that it makes people question the ethical consequences of your abomination .

 

 

The Aaron Wood and Canadian Bulldog Hate Each Other POST OF THE WEEK!

 

Sponsored by, Fighting With Your Wife.   Fighting With Your Wife, because the makeup sex is worth it.

 

There is high drama happening in Club WWI .   Basically Aaron Wood and the Big Rybowski, a/k/a Big Wood (ewwww) have taken over the show of Canadian Bulldog (actually from Sudan).   A civil war is brewing with a shot fired by Bulldog supporter and longtime Aaron Wood rival, ZAH.

 

ZAH: Aaron...you start off saying that you've never had an STD. Dude, you need to actually have sex before you can catch an STD.

 

 

 

 

The insanity universe is about to explode, but don’t take my word for it.   Join Club WWI RIGHT NOW and interject yourself into this wonderful conflict, letting your flames burn brightly.

 

This week WWE announced the signing of Mexican wrestling star Mistico.   The Insanity Hive Brain weighed in .

 

TMJ: … last I heard, CMLL owns the Mistico name/mask/gimmick, I'm curious as to how WWE is going to handle his rebranding…

 

T-Dog: Mistico/Sin Cara is front page news on WWE.com with a bio and pics from CMLL.   Needless to say, this is a big f***ing deal, fairly f***ing quick.

 

Drewcifer: Remember when they brought in Ultimo Dragon? Yeah me neither.

 

Aaron Wood: I do. Gave him the Mysterio debut with the vignettes and stuff beforehand and then he fell over coming out at Wrestlemania. What else do we need to remember?

 

RDLee: … let's hope they don't drop the ball with him and have him job out to McIntyre in his first match.

 

Aaron Wood: Pictures from the press conference , with Sin Cara wearing the old Mistico mask, before unmasking and reveal the new Sin Cara mask. Obvious allusions to the Rey mask in there, with elements of the Mistico mask. I like it.

 

Anthony.Analog: Dear WWE, Please do this with Austin Aries before it's too late. Sincerely, A Paying Customer.

 

OUT OF CONTEXT COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

 

The Chosen 1: Dear Mr. Analog

F**k off, die, and order WrestleMania.

Love, WWE

 

END OF OUT OF CONTEXT COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

 

Anthony.Analog:

 

 

Raw was LIVE from Buffalo NY.   If you don’t have that special someone to watch the show with, try our weekly Raw Thread to let your smarm out in full force!

 

Markus Ramius: Will the returning Triple H and Undertaker confront each other with words this time or will they do their best 1920's movie impressions? …warms up the piano

 

squirrelz!: … if Triple H and Taker do a 1920's movie style promo, it would be the greatest thing on TV in the past 15 years and I wouldn't miss it for anything, even a plate of chicken nachos.

 

JT: What is the over/under on us hearing the word Wrestlemania tonight? I'm saying 200.

 

squirrelz!: Over/Under is 150.5 .   My guess is about 179.

 

The Green Teabagger: You know. It's going to seem nit picky and I understand they need to hype it that Triple H can beat the Undertaker at Mania, but for shit's sake do they have to bury every other one of UT's 18 opponents for it? Like the last two friggin years with HBK?

 

JT: HHH has held every title, when was he crusierweight champion or women's champion?

 

wolfchild: Well... Now we know who Shamus loses to this week. Can't wait to see who Mark Henry teams up with...

 

The Chosen 1: Hey Sheamus......

 

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squirrelz!: Hey, didn't Bourne used to get squashed like that by Sheamus? Damn, See you in TNA next year Sheamus...

 

Markus Ramius: Swagger just lost 10 cool points for being in Coles corner

 

JT: Well at least he has something for the show instead of watching in the back.

 

The Chosen 1: It has been 90% talk tonight... and it's AWESOME. So TNA should take note... when the talking is entertaining and MATTERS and feels huge, NOBODY COMPLAINS about the lack of wrestling on the show!

 

JT: Ah gay jokes. Good to see Cena back to his old ways.

 

The Chosen 1: … REALLY disappointing promo SIMPLY because about 2 or 3 times during it, Rock made it seem like he was actually in the arena and was going to fool everyone and walk out. I know WE know the contract states 2 RAW appearances but still, that was the vibe it was giving off…

 

exx: Rock, the man of the people who can't be bothered to show up in the arena lol

 

Ravnos: Final "Wrestlemania" count: 75.



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