Hot Threads: The Hitman and The Hulkster, British Tortillas, The Charlie Sheen Flowchart, TNA vs. Your Whole Family, and More

Hot Threads: The Hitman and The Hulkster, British Tortillas, The Charlie Sheen Flowchart, TNA vs. Your Whole Family, and More

THE GREEN TEABAGGER

The last couple of weeks the Hot Threads column has featured the Band Generator thread created by some Dope guy who also happens to be Great and White on the World Wrestling Insanity Message Board, which you should be signing up for right now. Go ahead. I'll wait. I have time.

You signed up yet? Good. If not, well then do it at the end of the column. After all you're missing such hilarious album covers made by....

Hellsinger

James Bullock:
Industrial icons Interwoven and "You Can't Win".

...which are nice and all but what caught my attention is what Mike Johns posted from Esquire. We've all seen the public "downfall" of Charlie Sheen and now ladies and gentleman (or whatever you choose to be I don't judge), we present to you The Charlie Sheen Flow Chart.

This past Monday on Raw was the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin to Monday Night Raw. Austin intervened on Michael Cole about to have John Bradshaw Layfield sign the contract to be the guest referee for his epic showdown with Jerry 'The King' Lawler at Wrestlemania. Stone Cold stunned JBL, ran Michael Cole, and signed the contract himself to become the referee for the Cole-Lawler four-star classic at Wrestlemania. Austin then proceeded to pour a few beers, or Steveweisers as it were, over Cole's head. Then he stunned JBL again.

Side note. I missed JBL. I hope this wasn't a one-of with him. Kick Booker T out of the Smackdown booth for JBL now. Right now. Just imagine JBL doing commentary during an Alberto Del Rio match. Absolute gold.

Oh yeah, people posted stuff about the Cole-Lawler match too and the special guest referee situation as well as the segment itself which happened after Michael Cole buried the entire Women's Division during the Divas Title match between Eve Torres and Pick-A-Bella Twin. I honestly didn't know which one. Here's what they had to say about the Cole-JBL-Austin segment.

Aaron Wood: I would say, at this point, Austin is pretty much a lock for the referee gig. I'd be shocked if it wasn't.

RD Lee: I think it's obvious why they may go with using Austin as the special guest referee.

Because Jim Ross will be brought in to call the match and he will get to say this one last time:

STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD!!!!!!!!!!!

The Chosen 1: It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JBL

wolfchild: F*** Yeah!!

Too bad he's gonna eat a stunner when Austin signs the contract.

The Chosen 1: TELLLLLL ME, everyone realized that they were purposely not showing Austin's hands when he was on the corners

Next week on Raw....Snooki is the guest star for Monday Night Raw. That's right. Next week, Raw gets Smush Smush.

exx: Hopefully with Snooki coming in, Zack Ryder can actually get on the friggin show next week.

Markus Ramius: I bet my buddy 5 bucks he (Ryder) would probably end up being her Bella Twin

Aaron Wood: Oh man, TNA just got themselves pwned. You'll note that Snooki had been trading tweets with some WWE folks recently. Well, next week on RAW, she's gonna be the Guest Host of the show...

THE GREAT WHITE DOPE

Canadian Bulldog, don't pretend like you don't know who he is, is a staple of the WWI Galaxy. Charlie Sheen is a staple of a man working the entire media (Writer note: If he overdoses then my bad. I truly believe he is working the media and just acting like the internet's fantasy breakdown.). Matt Hardy is Charlie Sheen's brother (Writer note: No proof to disprove or prove). Thanks to this Canadian Bulldog has uncovered a lost and interesting article about them. Members of the Galaxy discovered something hidden in it all.

Mike Johns

I think Matt actually used that line in one of his YT videos a few months back, just after the WWE release. Sheen doesn't even realize he's taking material from Matt!

Being on a drug called Matt Hardy... not the stuff about winning and tiger blood and rock stars from mars.

TheGreatWhiteDope

Those 2 should be in a reality show together. I'm sorry, but they'd be this generation's "The Cory's"

While this website is dedicated to the whacky and zany world of professional wrestling, we also have other topics and hobbies spoken of on our forum. Not all of us live in our parents basements and have never talked to a girl. I cannot speak for that 10% of our community. Alas random thoughts sprout up everywhere all the time. These people, they're full of them.

Squirrelz!

How come when you go to McDonalds, the Smiles are free but whenever you ask for some frowns they just look at you like you came out of a mental hospital?

TheGreatWhiteDope
Am I the only one who has turned the internet into an 8 channel television? Essentially the entire world of information is at our fingertips. I, at this point, stick to about 6 websites and visit regularly and avoid the rest of the internet. Just seems like a waste.

Drewcifer

How do the British people pronounce "tortilla"? Do they say it like we do, "tor-tee-ya", or do they say, "tor-till-ah"?

I don't think I've ever heard a Brit actually use that word before.

Rytman

Any body besides me think some of the x-men have less elaborate/more beliveable super-powers than others?

James Bullock

I always wondered how some heroes used the bathroom. I mean, think about The Thing. We've seen him eat, but he never poops. Does food just regenerate his body, or something? And what about Beast. You know someone's got to cut the crap out of all of that fur (yes, he's incredibly agile and bendable, but I don't think I've seen his hand anywhere near his butt).

It's that .gif, that .jpeg - the one that you see on the internet and it makes you LOL. Hell some are so good you may even admit to ROFL or ROTFLMAO. Our very own Mike Johns has something that should at least put a smile on wrestling fans faces this week with our...

AVATAR OF THE WEEK

SQUEAKY

This Jeremy Borash " I hope your whole family dies " thing just got REAL. Our proud patriarch and part time Mega Man villain James Guts Man had quite the opinion on the matter.

James Guttman: JB Tweeted: "For the record, the many of you that know me online know I would never wish harm on anyone or anyone's family. Twitter has been contacted."

Mike Johns: …JB's never said anything to me, DM, tweet, or otherwise. I figure, I've ripped on TNA long enough that you'd think, if this is legit, I'd have gotten at least one by now.

squirrelz!: "For the record, the many of you that know me online know I would never wish harm on anyone or anyone's family" is identical to a kid telling his classmate "Hey I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't steal your Bea Arthur Transformer toys" even though he jacked about four Bea Arthur Transformer toys.

galaxy: It's a bit weird, because if his account was hacked, why did the hacker only leave one DM? Wouldn't a hacker have made a bunch of offensive remarks on the main page? And how did he manage to regain control of his account in such a short period of time?

James Guttman: I feel like the ship has sailed on this being a hoax. I mean, if it was me and a fan accused me of something like this, I would do much more than just make a somewhat vague denial on Twitter and then never mention it again. It's a big accusation to make and, if TNA had any sort of professionalism whatsoever, he'd be fired on the spot. If it wasn't Borash, it was someone else at TNA who was near his open account. Either way, it was over the line and pretty disgusting. I'm disappointed that it's been dropped the way it has.

squirrelz!: I think it's safe to say that TNA has no professionalism. Between the Bubba the Love Sponge/Kong thing to giving Jeff Hardy a title run while he's being charged for drug related crimes to Kurt Angles kids being paraded around in an angle between their Dad, Mom and I guess Stepdad and Borash wishing for death upon the loved ones of the TNA fanbase, the place is just a gong show internally as well as on air product wise.

James Guttman: Borash is supposed to be TNA's voice of reason, though. While it's wrong that fans go over the line with him - they do it with anyone. You should see some of the crazy emails I get from people. But even I, as a webmaster, wouldn't write back to someone and say anything like that. Even if the message was, "Go f**k yourself", it would have been easier to digest. If this story was about an airline or credit card company or coca-cola responding to an angry customer in the same manner, it would be big news. The real sad fact here is that it just shines a light on how amateur this company is in the eyes of many.

I genuinely hope it wasn't Borash who sent it and it all turns out to be a hoax, but with each passing day, it seems more like its being swept under the rug. If he did it, I would settle for a Tweet apologizing and explaining that he had a bad day. Rather, we get a weird denial and no follow up. To me, the situation appears like he did it and isn't taking any responsibility for it because he knows no one in his company gives a damn about public relations anymore. Frankly, I'm surprised TNA hasn't made it into an angle yet and given him a raise.

Bundorama: …it seems many have already passed sentence on Borash due to his lack of a reaction. It's been my experience in this type of situation that no matter what a person says,(again, assuming he didn't do it), they will be criticized for either not saying enough, or saying too much. Either way nothing has been proven, so until I see something more concrete, I'll take him at his word that he didn't do it, as I would almost anyone else....

James Guttman: To be fair, I didn't say anything either way when this all first broke because I didn't believe he did it. But enough time has gone by and it seems like most people have moved on. I just know how I'd handle the situation if it was me being accused of it. That's pretty much all we have to make a decision either way. What other proof of guilt or innocence is available or even possible?

The Aaron Wood and Canadian Bulldog Hate Each Other POST OF THE WEEK!

Fortunately for world peace, and unfortunately for my reoccurring column topic, there were no great zingers between The Canadian Butcher (surgically implanted head grooves) and Aaron (resisting urge to make a phallic joke) Wood.

So I've inserted their names into opinions our insanity collective had about the much hyped 3/3/11 episode of TNA IMPACT!

exx: Do they have to start every damn Aaron Wood with a 20 minute promo?

squirrelz!: Surgeons General Warning- This episode of Canadian Bulldog may cause cranial bleeding

clifffside: It's nice to see Aaron Wood in an environment with…people in it for once.

squirrelz!: Jeff Hardy vs. Batman for the Transsexual Optimus Prime Championship! Canadian Bulldog, catch the meh!

Nasty Ned: So if i said i 75% enjoyed Aaron Wood this week...does that mean I have to turn in my hater card.... the only part i didn't like was the wedding stuff but i may have chuckled at Kurt Angle being a AX Husband...

The Chosen 1: Yeah I like how that after Wedding Song didn't start until AFTER Kurt Angle chased everyone out with an Axe.... f***in' Canadian Bulldog.

ZAH: I'm happy for Aaron Wood and his ratings...it seems that the more people bitch about him, the better his ratings get.

Mr. Guttman was busy this week, with an interesting audio chronicling that back and forth spat between Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart on twitter .

Canadian Bulldog: The craziest thing to me isn't even the actual insults, or the fact that they're acting like 12 year-olds. I look at it like: it would at least make some sense if Bret or Hogan had an endgame in sight, eg being able to make money off this little pissing match. But they can't! One of them had a stroke and the other can barely walk! Two seniors at the nursing home could probably have a more competitive match.

James Guttman: I think guys at this level don't realize that every time they open their mouths, they knock their standing down with fans a bit. There's no reason for this. You're Hulk Hogan. You're Bret Hart. Just shut up and be Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Why play games in a public arena after spending all these decades creating a public persona? Ric Flair falls into the category too.

I'll say this much - and I know he takes heat from fans - but the way Shawn Michaels handled Shane Helms was awesome. Helms "shot" on him for effect and attention and HBK responded like a pro. He told his Twitter followers that he wasn't upset about it as much as they were, so why would he have to respond? He didn't take the bait and kept his nose out of the nonsense. I wish more guys would follow suit.

squirrelz!: Absolutely love this audio! Was never really into Bret Hart either, he was just the best performer in WWE at one of the worst times the company had.

ZAH: What one man sees as a "cheap shot", another man sees as putting Hogan in his place.

James Guttman: As I mentioned, though, it wasn't about the mention of John Graziano. It was the fact that it had nothing to do with what they were debating. The talk was about Hogan's politics and Bret responded with a shot about Graziano. If they were debating parenting, it would have made sense. That's why I saw it as a cheapshot. It had nothing to do with the point they were discussing.

It's as if Bret said Hogan wasn't a good wrestler and Hulk replied with "Ha ha you had a stroke."

This and countless shoot interviews can be heard on ClubWWI . It's the perfect thing to whilst pretending to work at your cubicle, dreaming of yet attained wrestling glory.