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Hot Threads: Mandatory Jack Swagger Gif, Shut The Hulk up, Ask Matt Dawgs Anything, 2006 Rewind, Sir Michael Cole, RDV, and More
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THE GREEN TEABAGGER
Raw was in jolly ol' England this past week, taped ahead of time and some of us had some fun with false spoilers on the boards. Some including Edge making a surprise return to beat the Miz to win the WWE Title, the return of The Megapowers, a partial 2012 Hall of Fame announced (led by Mr. Bob Backlund, inducted by The Iron Sheik), Dolph Ziggler replacing John Cena at Extreme Rules, Sin Cara winning the US Title, but all of that was topped by this....
THE GREAT WHITE DOPE
It's always nice to have a staff member of World Wrestling Insanity be open enough to answer questions at will from the rest of us. Around here Matt Dawg will answer any question you have. Although he seems to avoid questions of the following nature: "Boom City?" "Marry? Murder? ****?" "Do you know who Mr. America was?" "So, about Matt Hardy..." "Hey Matt, I'm down on my luck for the next few months. Can I crash on your bed? I mean hell I'd settle for the couch. Just with my back, I'd prefer the bed. Can we make this happen?" "Hey Matt, you aren't answering your door. I can hear the television is on. Why won't you let me in Matt?" "Matt, you know April Fool's Day is over right? Why are these officers here? Did I upset you?" "Tell'em to stop beating me, bro. Matt? MATT? MAAAAATTTTTT?"
Hellsinger
How much does Edge's retiring suck?
Matt Dawgs:
It's a huge blow to WWE but is a good thing because it's a wake up call for them to make new stars.
WolfChild
My Friday morning routine is all f***ed up because your column isn't up. Who do I blame, you or JG?
Matt Dawgs
It's my fault. I work on my column everyday from Monday to Friday morning so all the latest news is updated. This week I had Tuesday off. That plus not reading the latest Observer till late Thursday put me behind schedule.
Anthony.Analog
Dear Matt,
Matt Dawgs
John Morrison is an idiot.
T-Dog (No relation)
I don't mean to speak ill of the deceased, but is Morrison a lot like Candido in that he loves a woman so much that it might cost him a great career?
Matt Dawg
Kind of different. Candid did make a stink about ut and it ended up citing him his job in the end. He also got buried before that. Morrison didn't say a word. Candido and Sunny also had problems over it. While together, they weren't on the best terms. Morrison & Melina, not so much.
T-Dog
How bad does the WWE's mismanagement of Nexus rank on a scale of wrestling screw-ups?
Matt Dawg
Not as bad as Invasion or the Austin heel turn but worse than the ECW relaunch. Probably right below not booking Flair vs. Hogan at Mania.
I'm actually curious to the number of people who have joined the insanity message boards since the Hot Threads column got its start, oh so long ago. Because, as a member, I must say it's nice to have that one place you can go to mention the one idea that is stuck in your mind. That thought or conversational topic that you can't shake. Just to see what everyone else's stance on it is. Or you just want to be a crazy random person. I mean, it's the internet. Get as whacky as you want.
Drewcifer
If you think your girlfriend is about to break up with you, beg her for one last blow job.
Mike Johns
The American Pie movies haven't taught you much about the mishaps of super glue and penises, have they? Because, even if you do succeed to superglue your soon-to-be ex to your johnson, it's likely going to be just as painful for you as it is her.
RYTMAN
Any body besides me think some of the x-men have less elaborate/more beliveable super-powers than others?
Drewcifer
My cats are awfully fond of licking their nipples. Am I missing out on something?
Bmartin
I hate how slow the internet moves at my school.
James Bullock
I always wondered how some heroes used the bathroom. I mean, think about The Thing. We've seen him eat, but he never poops. Does food just regenerate his body, or something? And what about Beast. You know someone's got to cut the crap out of all of that fur (yes, he's incredibly agile and bendable, but I don't think I've seen his hand anywhere near his butt).
You've also found yourselves in a very special and unique section of "Hot Threads". This week comes an all-new, yet old, blast from the past (note: Brendan Fraser). You remember that one thing from like a year or two ago that really put you over the edge? You can't believe that (insert wrestler/wrestling company/business advertising to wrestling fans/lawyer of wrestler name here) did/said/wrote that one thing you took the time to read. You maybe even swore that was the final straw in you supporting or talking about that person/business for the rest of eternity. So think hard...got it yet? You remember it? Go on, I'll wait.
...
...
...
...
Of course you don't. Remember why? Something else pissed you off even more the next week. Or something made you laugh the next week. Either way within two months the entire thing was completely forgotten. Unless someone brings it back up. Then you're gonna throw down. You're gonna stand your guard and bring those convictions back from the depths of hell...or not. I mean, who cares? It was a year ago.
So without further ado...
THIS WEEK IN WWI FORUM HISTORY!
First up in April 2006 Angle/Orton/Mysterio were coming out of Wrestlemania with Mysterio's first world title win. Orton went into a downward spiral of losing matches, catching bad breaks, getting suspended, and having Kurt Angle "break his ankle". This got a decent amount of talk on the forums...
ZAH
Why bring up the suspension if you're going to play off the injury angle? Ugh.
Aaron Wood
To give some explanation for Orton's disappearence to the non-Internet using fans? I bet there are more fans who don't use the Internet for their wrestling than there are that do
ZAH
I don't have a problem with the injury angle itself. I think it makes perfect sense. But WWE.com has just published a story that blends both kayfabe and real-life, and to me that just doesn't make sense. You're either kayfabe or you're not. Announcing the suspension to begin with was stupid, imo. There's no need to announce that your #1 heel on SmackDown is being suspended. Just run the injury angle, let it "leak" to the Internet the reasons why, and be done with it. This whole thing seems like a cluster**** to me.
3SR 8JR
Maybe Vince told Kurt to break his ankle... .
Matt Dawgs
[sarcasm] Wow, tough luck for Orton. First he got pinned by Rey Rey TWICE, then gets suspended and now he has to sit out his suspension with a broken ankle. How much bad luck can one guy have? [/sarcasm]
Ratings
Technically, get pinned by Rey twice could be accounted as being pinned by a 6'5" once. It kind of balances out.
Papi
It's ridiculous to use the "suspended because of unprofessional conduct" angle for on-air storyline purposes. I mean, when has anyone ever been suspended for unprofessional conduct in WWE storylines? Guys are setting people on fire, raping each other, dragging caskets across cemetaries, etc. Wrestling is filled with "unprofessional conduct".
FendeR
I don't see why anyone's complaining. I mean, I rely on WWE to be my #1 source for information. I know they give me the real information. I don't need those stupid "dirt sheets" anymore. WWE gives me the real facts.
Papi
Yeah, he definitely looks like a guy who'd throw the "c-word" at women.
We're going to jump ahead a year and move to TNA's biggest PPV of the year "Lockdown 2007". And with everyone being down on TNA every single day in 2011, it was totally different "back in the day" right? RIGHT? RIGHT????? Just find out yourselves...
Clifffside
The X-scape match was nice. Action pack, nice spots. Very good way to open a PPV
Aaron Wood
Has anyone else been disappinted by thec rowd so far? I'd have thought they'd be better than they are.
David
That was a crazy intense promo by Joe.
Blindfold matches just do not work.
2nd_coming
Yeah, I get it goes along with the storyline, but this is a match fans have been waiting for and their first encounter shouldn't have been gimmicked.
David
Storm wins with a middle finger and a Super Kick.
T-Dog
They should have just done Storm put an eye patch on and mess with his depth perception so they could have a regular match or sorts.
David
I feel so bad for Lynn and Daniels, they are waking up the crowd slowly; but it must be a real pisser to go out after a friggin blindfold match.
Aaron Wood
"Fire Russo" again...
David
The lighting and the hum that is barely audible does add to the match without anyone (except for Homicide) getting really shocked....woah Nevermind.
Aaron Wood
FRANKENSTEINER!!!!
T-Dog
It's time for LETHAL LOCKDOWN, THE MOST DANGEROUS AND GORY MATCH EVER!
And finally we're about to look at something that infuriated the entirety of the IWC in April 2008. The biggest, most heartbreaking, mind numbing, stupid, ignorant, idiotic thing that could ever be done. Until the next biggest, most heartbreaking, mind numbing, stupid, ignorant, idiotic thing that could ever be done was done like 4 days later.
MIKE ADAMLE REPLACES JOEY STYLES ON TV
RDLee
ECW is screwed now.....
Theman6201
I don't know. Maybe it's me, but it seems to me that Joey Styles never really got a fair chance in WWE. I know the whole story may not be out, and for all we know, Joey Styles may have asked to do other things, but it seems like he always gets the short end of the stick.
ScottyDymes
Hell at least ECW was getting entertaining for the past few months now I dont know. Sucking ass man sucking ass.
Exx
Oh my god
AstonMartyn
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! If ever WWE wanted to sink ECW, this is the way to do it
Jamie320
See, this is what I try to tell everyone that I talk to about wrestling. WWE could care less about ECW, they never did, they never will. The only reason they keep it around was for a place to put lesser wrestlers, mixed in with some stars from other shows (Kane-ECW Champion, Smackdown Branded wrestler). I'm sure this will work out though, replacing Styles (one of the best announcers ever, next to JR and Mike Tenay), with a guy who can barely get the wrestlers names right will surely work, I mean it worked beautifully when they tried to replace JR...right? And Smackdown is just awesome with such great voice talent like Michael Cole and the Coach...right? I hope Styles lets his contract run out, and goes to TNA. Imagine a team of Mike Tenay and Joey Styles, that hack Don West can go back to QVC, and everyone's happy.
NidiaFan
I will now be watching ECW on mute.
Matt Dawgs
ECW is still going to draw better ratings than TNA. Doesn't matter who is announcing the show. They could replace Tazz with Brad Armstrong and have Armstrong and Adamle do the show. It will still draw the same 1.2 rating and above.
TheGreenTeabagger
I had my hopes up that they FINALLY got rid of Michael Cole.
The Chosen 1
Shouldnt this guy have been given a spot on the HEAT announce team for a few weeks first? I mean for the love of christ. Thankfully i have NO FAITH WHATSOEVER in WWE deciding to remain with a MIKE-TAZZ team for long.
BlackFrancisFan
I'll add to the outrage. This is AWFUL news.
Nuram
The good news is that Tazz/Adamle can't possibly be worse then Cole/Coach. Actually, I'm surprised that Coach wasn't replaced even after MVP told him to shut up.
ZAH
Watching ECW now. My god is Adamle horrible. But you know what? I definitely sense potential in him as the play-by-play guy. But at this point he knows less about wrestling than Don West, so it's gonna take a TON of work on his part in order to make the transition.
T-Dog
I will say that "uno, dos, adios" is actually a good catchphrase.
*TheGreatWhiteDope's favorite post from history this week. I mean seriously, I loved Adamle. Dude made everything amazing. Here is disc 1 of his 'greatest hits'.*
Minkaro
I thought Adamle was great. I didn't know when I laughed more
.
When he called his broadcast partner "The Tazz" instead of "Tazz"
.
When he called Shelton Benjamin "Shel-don"
.
When he called a Kane boot to Morrison's face a "knee to the chest"
.
When he called a legbar by Miz a "figure-four leglock"
.
When he described Miz reaching to tag Morrison as "Reach out and touch someone, Michael!"
.
When he stammered and couldn't remember Jimmy Wang Yang's name (all three times)
.
When he said Kofi Kingson's "reputation preceded him here" because he got an ovation from the fans
.
When he got around to calling a cover after the kickout
.
When he called a Kofi "dropkick" a "leg kick"
.
When he said Knox's strategy against Dreamer was to be "methodical" and "put him away early"
.
When he called Miz & Morrison the "WW Tag Champions," leaving off the "E"
.
When he called Miz "Mike the Miz"
.
Saying Morrison was built like Tarzan but punches like Jane
Three years ago this week Mike Adamle was given his chance to shine on ECW as an announcer. Three years ago this week the phrase "Ja-makin' me CRAZY" was said about Kofi Kingston. Within a month of him being let go, the WWI completely forgot about Mike Adamle. But hey, that's how it goes. Can't wait to see what thoughts people had in the past about next week's history.
When you join
CLUBWWI
, and you will because really you don't need that large cup of coffee as much as you need a jolt of insider insight and the best stories in
wrestling entertainment today, you get to experience a truly unique moment.
Our own JG, bucking the Internet trend of kissing up to wrestling royalty, decided to
tell Hulk Hogan to shut up.
The Green Teabagger:
I haven't heard this, and probably won't for a few days but I already love it....mainly because of the title
Canadian Bulldog:
Well said, man. Hogan gets away with.... well, not quite murder, but close enough, simply because he's Hulk Hogan. The Huckster was WAY out of line with the Edge comments. As you suggested, maybe if he was more of a man and called it a day when his body told him to, a good chunk of his current problems wouldn't have happened.
sprout1883:
Like Edge said himself. He would be in a Wheel Chair if he carried on and it is time to get out.
Mike Johns:
I could probably take this audio, replace every mention of Hulk Hogan with Matt Hardy, and it'd still be relevant.
JohnnyCraze:
Haven't heard the audio yet but it looks good. As Green would say, Hulk is a douche.
squirrelz!:
Great audio JG. Hogan is the negative star that tries to suck the everything out of anything and uses that to try to make himself bigger. I bet if everyone ignored everything he does he would disappear off the face of the earth.
Out Of Context Comment of the Week!
T-Dog:
London hates black people.
This has been Out of Context Comment of the Week!
When picking Avatar of the Week, it’s important to make a choice based on something powerful, yet topical. While I know by now it’s probably old news, I only get to do this once every three weeks so nah nah nah to you because THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF A BULLY!
I don’t condone violence, yada yada all that is bad, you know you can only ‘talk it out’ with a person so much before you have to stand up for yourself. And if that comes with a bit of physicality, so be it. Personally, I always tried for the inverted atomic drop. I mean it’s a knee right on the nuts right? How is that not illegal???
Anyway, THANK YOU RDLEE!!
2011 WWE Hall of Fame inductee Canadian Bulldog set out to debunk
5 myths about wrestling "Good Old Days"
and the subject of the lost art of the promo came up.
Squeaky:
Interesting read. Good point on scripted promo's. I think they are unnecessary for the guys on top who prove they can talk, but absolutely necessary for 95% of the guys who are trying to find their character and get some traction.
Canadian Bulldog:
Yeah.... I mean, Flair, Hogan, Austin, Rock, Cena.... any of those guys could cut a promo on a moment's notice. But there are so many who couldn't. Of course, it becomes a bit of a vicious circle -- if you don't learn how to cut your own promo, you never will...
Squeaky:
That's why house shows were invented.
Mike Johns:
I probably let guys go more than I really should have, at points, but there was method to madness behind that, most of the time. Part of it was because duh me had a sink or swim mentality when it came to teaching guys how to improv, and, hindsight... not always best for your product. Good for the talent, but not always for the fans. But most places I worked for were schools/camps who ran shows anyway, and encouraged it.
Canadian Bulldog:
I demand YouTube-ready footage!
TNA has long evoked powerful emotions from us all, but a botched RVD shirt and Velvet Sky promotional image sent our little hive of bee's into quite the flurry.
Aaron Wood: I believe the meme would be "LOLTNA"...
Canadian Bulldog:
"The Whole Flippin' Show" Rob Dan Vam
Aaron Wood:
I should note that they have now changed it on their website to a shirt that reads RVD.
squirrelz!:
How is this shocking, those guys always botch things!
Aaron Wood:
shoptna.com are making this TOO EASY!
And given that this chat is on their PAID FOR site, it'd better be pornographic in nature.
Squeaky:
What are you talking about? That photograph makes it seem like the conversation will be purely platonic.
Joking aside, what on earth could you talk with Velvet Sky about that wouldn't involve pieces of her anatomy, real or otherwise?
Aaron Wood:
The size of Hurricane's cock if you were so interested?
The AARON WOOD AND CANADIAN BULLDOG HATE EACH OTHER POST OF THE WEEK!
Canadian Bulldog:
Well, we now know that AW will be checking out the chat. WASSUPWIDAT?
Squeaky:
Wow that just shows you how...distracting...Velvet is in that ad. Totally missed the date.
Aaron Wood:
To be honest, it took me a second or third glance to figure what I was supposed to see thanks to those tattiebojangles.
squirrelz!:
I swear TNA is being inept on purpose now. It's a parody of the parody at this point.
Bundorama:
Last year on The WWE's website, they actually had someone write under Alberto Del Rio's bio something to the effect of "Is this o.k.? This guy is supposed to be a big deal, right?", and it made it on The Bio Page. It was posted on this site by someone here, yet I don't remember them getting much if any shit about it. I wonder why....
Average:
Daniel Bryan doing something was spoiled, too. I don't think it got much more than a chuckle now that you mention it.
Edit: Returning from "fired", I think.
Mike Johns:
You missed how "a big deal fairly quick" has been a running joke on both the board and the main site since ADR's debut, then.
It was said in virtually every other post here circa the Royal Rumble.
I've made mention of it a few times. AW and Matt Dawgs have. I think JG's even snuck it into a few of his audios.
We made a HUGE deal of it at the time. I posted the pic on the main site. I believe Matt Dawgs did as well.
I honestly love how people reach for bias on an opinion site. Especially considering the things I've said here on both the boards and the main site concerning WWE's hiring practices and their developmental system.
The other running joke here. That we're somehow pro WWE despite being founded on a book that basically declared H as a cancer upon the business.
Bundorama:
I guess I did miss it since nobody started a separate thread making fun/mocking it like here, The Jeremy Borash "family dies" incident, numerous stupid things TNA stars have written on twitter, etc...
Mike Johns:
We're not required to be, or even supposed to be, impartial. It's a site of opinions and commentary. we're not news. Expecting impartiality here is like expecting gold to come out of people's butts - not going to happen.
Bundorama:
Yes, I know you're not a news site and aren't required to be impartial. Don't care. I just think it's hypocritical for some people to bash one company for one thing, then have the other company do the same thing/something very similar and either have it glossed over, or not care. That has nothing to do with this being an opinion site or not. In fact, this very topic was talked about not that long ago in a TNA Thread....
Mike Johns:
Thus, the "reaching for bias". Seriously, just because you missed the meme that was ADR being a big deal fairly quick doesn't mean it never happened. Personally, I think it's hypocritical to bash people unfairly without empirical evidence based on the perception of something that isn't there. The only bias or hypocrisy you see is the one you want to see.
Bundorama:
"empirical evidence"? Did you not read the examples I listed?(If you want, I could list more.) Also, I'm not the only poster here who has mentioned this. If I was, then I'd have to rethink my stance.
James Guttman:
Myself personally -
And
we weren't done
, but we're just going to leave it like that.
Like me staring at the surgically enhanced and alluringly clad boobies of Velvet Sky, we here on the message board are only human and prone to emotional outbursts. In the end, we're all coming out of the same place, a passion for wrestling.
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