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THE GREEN TEABAGGER
This week was the usual, umm, excitement on Impact? Yeah, I'm going to go with excitement because if I use a negative word I may go into a rant about TNA. Which is fine because we do that on the boards anyway when we have an active thread for Impact. This week we had a whole lot of squirrelz! and even had a little blurb about last week's NXT Season 5. Yeah, there's a Season 5 all on the internet. See, now you can never say you didn't learn something from the Hot Threads other than the fact that you should be signing up for the
SABUISGOD: I believe its time to dust off the TNA drinking game and add a couple modifications. Jeebus knows the last version nearly killed the participants.
Markus Ramius: i'll be watching NXT... i MIGHT watch the last hour of iMpact... either that or i might just spend an hour gouging my eyes out lol
-----squirrelz: (last week's NXT) NXT is just commercials, a 6 man match and an arm wrestling contest... Thats it
----------Aaron Wood: Still better than whatever illogical dross TNA put on. And probably more action-packed relatively speaking.
squirrelz!: I already finished my first drink in three minutes listening to this cluster intercourse. tee hee, Hebner said sh*t.
squirrelz!: The coolest Shannon Moore has been was when he was in 3 count... and that's not saying much
-----The Green Teabagger: NOt true. There was once a time when Matt Hardy wasn't a complete douche canoe b*tch, before Lita f***ed Edge and before he started believing his own hype, he had a moron...or rather, a Moore-on.
----------squirrelz!: He didn't do much during the V1 phase so it doesn't count haha
---------------The Green Teabagger: He was the guy people had to follow when Matty said they weren't good enough to be MFers, so they had to be Moore-ons.
squirrelz!: Scott Steiner can still do the frankensteiner? Impressive for a man his size
squirrelz!: Has anyone seen what a Barbie doll looks like after being in a microwave for 15 seconds? I bet it looks like Angelina Love
The only thing that was brought up during the six-man tag team main event between Sting, Mr. Anderson, and Rob Van Dam and 'The Monster' Abyss, Bully Ray, and 'The Douche Canoe' Matt Hardy was... The Green Teabagger: Hey look, Christopher Daniels is back.
I guess everyone else gave up for the night. Can't say I blame them... Some interesting little tidbits have popped up on the TNA News thread. Yes, we do care about TNA News. Sorta. Anyway, in a "what-should-be-stunning-but-isn't-when-you-really-think-about-it" news... Canadian Bulldog: How far has The Hulkster fallen?
He'll be doing an
To be fair, the show has a pretty stacked roster (and by stacked, I mean, TNA's roster on Jan. 4, 2010) - Hogan, Beefcake, The Nasty Boys, Kevin Nash, Sean Waltman, Scott Steiner.... plus Tatanka, The Highlanders, Jim Duggan, Colin Delaney and Steve Corino. It made sense a few years ago when Hogan was doing a super-indy show in Memphis. But Brantford ain't Memphis. Hulk Hogan, the biggest money making draw in the history of professional wrestling (oh God, I said the "W" word I hope JG doesn't have to censor that), is THAT hard-up for money, attention, and status that he is going to do a small-town independent show. To make a proper comparison, that would be like Brett Favre signing a contract with an Arena Football League team because he needs the money and the attention. Who am I kidding? Hogan signed with TNA last year so we already knew he was desperate for that fix and I'm already looking forward to Brett Favre signing with the Arena Football League's Iowa Barnstormers. Go Barnstormers! Last week, Dixie Carter some trouble with her Twitter account which was covered here by The Illustrious Mike Johns (I've just decided that from now on, I'm calling him The Illustrious Mike Johns--I'll come up with nicknames for everyone else when I get around to it...maybe) in the most recent
Kurt Angle is fu*king crazy. Not coked up crazy like Jeff freaking Hardy, but just plain batsh*t insane. Instead of trying to explain what happened, I'll just show you what Mike Johns found... Mike Johns: So, it seems there's some drama concerning Kurt Angle's Twitter, now.
Mike Johns: Orton even responds to Angle's tweets before he pulls the ever-so-convenient "I got hacked" story out.
Mike Johns: And, the insanity continues....
BTW, he's yet to delete any of the so-called "hacked tweets". You'd think JB would have texted him by now, at least, to let him know, "yo, you might want to delete those tweets if you were, in fact, hacked". The responses.. squirrelz!: Ridiculous. Somebody should pass a law saying that all TNA employees are banned from Twitter or have to pass some test to see if they have the mental capacity to use Twitter while working for the company
James Bullock: I don't understand why you'd apologize for something you didn't say, let alone be happy your fake comments got people so riled up.
James Guttman: Hahaha! That account hacked thing cracks me up especially given how he followed it up. If the Tweets didn't come from him, then why make a point of talking to Orton about your move? What kind of telephathic hackers is Kurt Angle getting where they can read his mind and then do fake tweets that accurately guess what he's thinking about? It's just a case of a wrestler not realizing how the Internet works. No one hacked Kurt Angle. The only different personalities that posted those Tweets were in his own head.
sprout1883: From @CMPunk: "my twitter account was hacked", is the new: "I'm a sloppy drunk douche".
Kurt, seriously buddy....
THE GREAT WHITE DOPE
The World Wrestling Insanity Forums were up in arms this past weekend because of WRESTLEMANIA! The Grand-daddy of them all, after secretly taking Jim Crocket out back and shooting him in the head, has come and gone. And thanks to it we have a Wrestlemania sized Hot Threads this week.
The verdict? It was an enjoyable show. Punk tore the house down, Ryder brought the comedy, and Taker stole the show again. Of course, that is just this one random person’s opinion.
The boards were lively during the event. The excitement, hope, sadness, pissed off-ness at “entertainment” holding the “internet darling” Daniel Bryan down, comedy, indifference, and every other emotion a bi-polar non-living organism, such as a message board, could feel ran rampant during the 4-hour broadcast. In the end some enjoyed the show, while the rest of the WWI boards, and Austin “couldn’t make it onto Tough Enough” Aries, were a tad more vocal in the disappointments department.
Although, no one was disappointed at the chance to see some WWI based signs in the Wrestlemania crowd.
Aaron Wood
The Corre have attacked Vladimir Kozlov at Axxess...
The Green Teabagger
They took out the least dangerous member of their opponents?
The Chosen 1
Calling Santino more dangerous than Kozlov makes my head hurt
The Green Teabagger
Never underestimate the power of THE COBRA~! It's almost as dangerous as Randy Orton's feet.
RowdyRodimus
From the desk of Vincent K. McMahon and Jean-Paul Levesque:
Aaron Wood
Someone (I don't know if it's Drewcifer or not) is representing anyway, as posted on the WWI Facebook Page.
Squeaky
Yeah that's an interesting point. Last time Trips was beaten clean was against Jeff Hardy back in 2007 (not a misprint), and last time he actually put someone over clean (non flash non cheating pin) was in 2005 vs. Batista at Wrestlemania.
JohnnyCraze
WrestleMania is 1 hour away and I may actually be on for once!!
JohnnyCraze
The Rock opens the show
Here we go with the cathphrases
XArsenicKissx
Does this feel flat to anyone else?
Ravnos
Thank God, I thought I was the only one.
XArsenicKissx
So win the Rumble and you get to open at Mania? What the hell?!
Anthony.Analog
Broke down and ordered the PPV just in time to see that DELAYED SUPERPLEX from Cody Rhodes. Glad I made the call.
Clifffside
Rowdy Roddy Piper snuffing people out is always entertaining
Pakradja
Lame show so far...
JohnnyCraze
oh yea, why isn't the divas championship being defended? So let's see, the IC, US, Tag, and Divas Championship aren't being defended at WrestleMania. Not good.
Average
I can't wait for this announcer **** to be done with.
Squirrelz!!
It's the AnCOLE Lock!!! If this doesn't work he should hit the Colenadian Destroyer
Ravnos
I seriously laughed when HHH was in that furry suit.
Pakradja
Seriously did they hand out sleeping pills to the crowd ?
XArsenicKissx
On what basis is the match being restarted? I'd get it if the finish had been the result of interference, but this just suggests that the referee has no actual authority.
And with that I’m gonna call the Wrestlemania 27 cut-and-paste-athon done for now. There are over 18 pages of rage, hilarity, and insight to be found on the rest of the WWI boards.
But let’s say you’re part of that percentage that didn’t see the event live, download the torrent, find a stream, ignored the next month until the DVD came out, or just became a fan once someone you knew on Monday came up to you and said “Hey, ever hear of this ‘wrestling entertainment’ thing? It’s kinda cool. Apparently they did this thing last night, and there is another one tonight. The one tonight is even free, bro. SCORE!” followed up with a fist bump. The good news? Wrestlemania 27 happened again the next night for free. Well, it had a US title match and a tag match on the card, because they’d never give you the same show for free that you just paid $70 for the night before.
Aaron Wood
I would laugh my @$$ off if Rock came out and in PG terms said "**** the lot of you (writer note: He uses British phrases. I know, sometimes it‘s odd, sometimes classy), I lied about never leaving. I'm a huge film star and you turned against your biggest and best guy at the drop of a hat like the bunch of complete marks that you are" and leaves.
The Chosen 1
Yeah I don't care if the worry is that no one will care by then, Cena-Rock should be saved until next year's Mania.... It'd be completely possible... Let Cena do some kind of Kick The Rock's Ass out of the WWE thing so that he's gone for 6 Months and then have a big return and you slow build from Survivor Series with Cena going to the WWE Title and Rock fucking with him, have Rock have a in ring return against The Miz to hold him over and then RUMBLE to MANIA focus on Cena-Rock and it'd be the biggest Mania Match of all time.
THE LIVE READ for RAW on USA just aired... and it was JR AND THE KING hyping RAW tonight! JR's ON COMMENTARY!
Nazzer
Too funny how they waited until now to mention the WM17 match.
The Green Teabagger
I can't wait for Cole to win the Divas Title.
JT
If Cole pukes every time he eats JR's BBQ sauce, why does he keep eating it??????
The Green Teabagger
Average
This is like an iMpact thread
*winner for TheGreatWhiteDope’s Board Post of the week*
Wolfchild
Please don't give them microphone time.
Dammit.
JohnnyCraze
How the hell can Sin Cara see through that mask?? But, that was awesome.
Wolfchild
Well... That was a weird Raw.
The Chosen 1
WOW!!! WHEN DOES MY (OR ANYONES) CRAZY RIDICULOUS FANTASY "THIS WOULD BE AWESOME" BOOKING ACTUALLY HAPPEN??? A ONE YEAR BUILD TO MANIA? THAT'S AWESOME....
Even with all the wrestling this weekend WWE still found a way to infuriate the entire IWC, including myself, by officially changing their branding to ‘WWE’. Here are a few of the comments when this news broke, but I’d say if you’d like to see/get into a discussion on pro wrestling or something happening in wrestling visit this particular thread. We have multiple people with varying view points all having a rationale, reasonable discussion. And as a man who has been around the internet, like a London prostitute, there are few places to find that kind of good non-hate filled conversation.
Aaron Wood
Meltzer is reporting that there has been a meeting and Vince has decreed that, much like KFC is no longer "Kentucky Fried Chicken" but simply KFC, that WWE is to no longer be referred to as "World Wrestling Entertainment" but purely WWE at all times.
The Chosen 1
Anyone else notice they're not even saying SPORTS Entertainment anymore? Just entertainment? the day that all WWE shows contains no wrestling matches than they can call it whatever they want but pretending you don't do wrestling is just sad... I hope Hunter has a different philosophy in 50 years when he takes over...
Mike Johns
Sprout1883
I hope we won't be hitting Impact level of entertainment and 'wrestling'
Canadian Bulldog (I’ll exclude your shame from this):
Folks, this is all about branding. WWE is easier for the general public to remember than World Wrestling Entertainment. That's it. They're not out to change the minds of you and me that they're a wrestling company.... possibly people watching for the first time, but that's really about it.
Squeaky
While this action will never get McMahon the respect he so desires in the 'billionaire club', not as much as Linda winning a Senate seat in 2012 will anyway, this is a re-branding, and it is a good thing.
Okay, I for one am wrestling/wrasslin/sports entertainment/entertainment -ed out. From DGUSA to ROH to Wrestlemania to USA Presents Monday Night WWE-fest. We now have ourselves a nice little off season to recover and get back into that “want to see wrestling” mood. So take some time off, join the insanity, join the conversation, have a discussion, and just enjoy the nice long break. Because it’s Wednesday now, you’ve only got 1 off-season day left before Impact.
A special recognition goes out to TheGreatWhiteDope (not actually white) for having the unluckiest timing in the long and storied month(s) of this incarnation of the Hot Threads column.
He’s had to cover the 2/21/11 drama, the Jeremy Borash “I hope your whole family dies saga, Jeff Hardy’s ‘inability to perform’, and now Wrestlemania week.
Rope-a-Dope has waded through roughly, and this is an approximation, 10,000 million pages of internet speak to contribute his weekly portion of this column.
For comparison’s sake, my section was written by my 2 year old son in crayon while I sipped Jack Daniels and cackled in glee.
So god speed Monsieur Dope.
Have fun next week with your coverage of the hostage situation involving Kurt Angle putting a fan in the ankle lock for 10 hours while screaming “MY MOVES! MY MOVES! NOBODY CAN TAKE MY MOVES!”
With Wrestlemania fever in the air(not allergies), Aaron (don’t make a phallic joke) Wood took a break from his long standing feud with Canadian Bulldog (proud hepatitis C carrying member of the hall of fame)(LIBEL!) to contribute a column where he pieced together the
Worst Wrestlemania of All Time.
It was an interesting practice in consolidation of futility, and prompted the message boards to contribute some of their less than favorite Wrestlemania memories.
Aaron Wood:
For the sheer hell of it, I did a writing thing on the website. It's the worst Wrestlemania ever. And no, I'm not talking about Wrestlemanias 4 or 9!
James Bullock:
But there is a bit of 9 in there. I must say Wrestlemania I truly got the shaft. There's so much to work with.
TheGreatWhiteDope:
See, I remember watching 9 (I was...what it was in 93? I was just about to be 6) and it wasn't too terrible. I can even watch it now. Was the main event bullshit? Yeah. Tatanka/Michaels is still good though. And as a kid I liked the doink/crush thing. Lugar/Perfect wasn't horrible.
Aaron Wood:
See I could kinda agree with you. I've never actually seen the event from start to finish, but I've seen most of the matches in one way or another and to me, Mania 4 was worse. Possibly 15 too. But fuck me, that Taker/Gonzalez match was just some of the dirt worst shit ever committed to camera.
slimjames:
Um...am I the only who thinks WrestleMania 11 is the worst one ever? A main event of Bam Bam Bigelow v Lawrence Taylor, the mentioned Ron/Don Harris v Allied Powers, Taker v King Kong Bundy...what was the 'good' match on that card...Diesel v Shawn Michaels? Razor Ramon v Jeff Jarrett? Meh and meh. Everything was either terrible or boring.
James Bullock:
You're not the only one. Even as a nine-year-old kid, I remember not liking WM 9 one bit. Outside of Bret winning, and Salt-N-Pepa shaking ... well, everything that my little eyes could handle, nothing about the show stood out, or warranted a recommendation.
TheGreatWhiteDope:
I think it more comes down to there are few GOOD wrestlemanias. There are Wrestlemanias with a match that kinda saves them and makes them memorable, but the majority just kinda end up as "meh". While the last 5 years or so has always had something big....the 8-15 years are filled with them basically.
Also...HOLY F*CK Diesel/Taker goes on FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For better or worse, they stole the show at Wrestlemania 27, so to honor that (and the complete lack of any other candidates) we award
AVATAR OF THE WEEK
to Aaron Wood for his Undertaker/HHH picture that is just BEGGING to have a parody picture inserted over the Wrestlemania sign.
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