Welcome one and all to the weekly "Best of" The World Wrestling Insanity Message Boards. Here at Hot Threads we aim to give you the cream of the crop when it comes to our fabulous residents. We'll be spending time jumping from the WWE to TNA to almost anything in the 'verse.

Ugh...short story time: At one point I, myself, was an indy wrestler. Here and there I might try to do it once in awhile but everything else in life kind of gets in the way at this point. Even on such a small scale I've seen a lot of things and met many odd people. Sometimes people have reason to be the way they are; sometimes they don't. I'll let you personally be the judge on this example...

(Personal Notes: I love his finisher "That's a secret". I can't tell if it is the name of the move or he believes he has personally invented a maneuver no one else has ever seen. My personal guess: Stone Cold Stunner or Rock Bottom. In real news if you're an indy wrestler and Dory Funk or AJ Styles hold a seminar before the show it doesn't mean they have trained you. That'd be like Ricky Gervais coming to my school for a graduation speech and me saying "You know Ricky Gervais taught one of my classes". Credit where credit is due, though, Super Henti is the greatest gimmick potential from name alone.)

ZAH

Oh but that's not all...


...HE ACTS!!!

...HE CRIES ON COMMAND!!!

...HE FIGURE DRAWLS!!!

http://www.hollywoodauditions.com/cast/ardine_dustin.htm

And of course...as a follow-up to incredible victory per his contract, a rabid fan couldn't help but heap praise upon the man's MySpace page!!

Mike Johns

Having dealt with this kind of stuff, I will say one thing...

Dude, I own the ring. I own the belts. And we can always get another you. Unless you're drawing another 50 to a hundred people to our shows all by yourself, and by the way, if could, you'd be asking for more than $50 a match, YOU DO NOT MATTER!

Seriously, I can get Josh Prohibition, Johnny Gargano and Matt Cross for $150, and they will not only not cause me half the headaches you will, but they'll actually fucking DRAW!!!

I've fortunately never had to have that specific conversation, but I came close a few times.

The guy ought to consider himself lucky he's in a position where he can actually demand money, let alone access to my ring without me and an immediate push.

Anthony.Analog

How can he afford a belt deposit at only $50/match???

Mike Johns

Well, I think I've told this story, so...

First promotion I ever worked with, which, sadly, was also the one that made the most money... because the guy who ran it was a criminal who used the promotion as a front for a scam to bilk sponsors out of money then skip town after his promotion "tanks"... Anyway, the guy was very suspect, and did all he could to keep me from attending live shows, preferring to have me send scripts online. Lo and behold, when his scam finally plays out, the company is sold off to some sucker who ends up getting sued into oblivion about a year later, and months later, I actually finally get to see our promotion's Heavyweight Championship - A Weight Belt, spray-painted gold, with the words "TCW - #1 Desire" written on it with a sharpie. Dead. Fucking. Serious.

The second company I worked with simply put stickers on replica belts. As did the third. This tends to be the norm with Indy promotions, actually.

Did encounter a backyard deal in Youngstown about 5 years ago that actually had custom-made belts, but they were done by some toy company. They were mostly plastic, but actually looked pretty good compared to some shit I've seen.

USAW never got far enough to get belts. We did have a contact similar to the one the backyarders I mentioned used, which was the route we were planning, but we never got far enough to get the belts made.

A deposit on all but the replicas would EASILY be paid on a $50 salary. Unless we were dicks and made you pay the full $150 to get the custom toy belts.

ZAH

He should be spending his money on spelling lessons.

James Bullock

This. During his whole "My Terms" list, I didn't know if I should laugh or feel sorry for him. I truly believe he dropped out of school way before he started wrestling because an elementary schooler would write out better descriptions than that mess. And don't get me started on his "elaborate" and "star-making" storyline proposal.

Nelsolo

Well, at least he can live the dream of going ariel in a triple treat match after he meet and communicate with tom pritcher.

We are just one week removed from WWE "Night of Champions" which can only mean one thing...Hell in a Cell is this Sunday. Coming off of Raw we're set up for pretty much the exact same show as two weeks ago. Luckily, WWE has learned that with no other alternative, and our inability to just turn the shows off, we'll sit through the same card at least five times in a row before legitimately complaining. Raw was there to soften the blow this past Monday and attempted to make this PPV card seem less forced. How did they do? What will they name Swagger-Ziggler? How long before they charge $60 for monthly PPVs? Who actually has the money to spend on these every week? Is it still real to you, damnit?

Peter Dawson

Great Raw. Some good setup, some damn fine matches, and the secondary titles actually seemed important. Ending did justice to all three guys in the main event at Hell in a Cell.

I'm just curious of Mason Ryan and Zack Ryder are going to remain browskis... WWE wants to push Ryan (or seemingly does anyhow), but he's not exactly over (though his turn was well-received by the crowd) while Ryder is. Granted Ryder's still probably better in the ring than Ryan, which is saying something because as much as I like Zack I think he's about average in terms of in-ring ability, but putting them together might be an effective way to get him over.

Even ignoring the Ryder-Ryan Connection (Gimme time, I'll come up with a name if one is needed), it really looks like some decent teams and possibly even stables are starting to form. Swagger and Ziggler are now joined as one under Vickie, thus forming Guerrero's Grenadiers. We've also got Air Boom and Awesome Truth, even if the latter are currently fired. Now we just need Morrison and Riley to form the Rocking Jocks and we've got a tag division.

Aaron Wood

Did we watch the same show?

What was good about the setup? We got 2 matches added to the PPV, which itself only doubles the card, both of which could have already been announced and one of them (Kelly vs. Beth) is the 3rd in as many shows. Orton didn't appear and Henry only laid out Khali, which while an impressive visual added zero buys. And while the Triple Threat build was OK, it wasn't exactly stellar either, and if it weren't for his chair attack at the end, Del Rio would have looked like the biggest pussy-bitch ever, getting schooled on announcing and then losing out of nowhere to Punk clean as a sheet on the back of losing to Cena at the PPV.

The secondary titles meant shit. Sure, the champions got exposure, but the titles weren't helped. One was defended in a random battle royal and the other was essentially a squash that got turned into a six man tag.

Also, where are you possibly getting the Mason Ryan/Zack Ryder teaming from? Mason left without interacting with any of the faces. He didn't celebrate with anyone at the end. indeed, what last night said to me was that he's going to be the next challenger to Ziggler's title.

Also, "Guerrero's Grenadiers"? Really? Really? Cougar's Cubs is far better than that...

PeterDawson

I don't just mean PPV setup, though getting some more matches was of course a must and quite handy. We pretty much got the entire night's card laid out and rather than open with Triple H cutting a promo with CM Punk, Del Rio, Johnny Ace or Cena we got some other guys for a change. Sure the opener was still about 18 minutes including the show intro but it did stuff. It shook up the predicted formula a little bit and as far as formulaic openings go it was pretty solid. As for the Triple Threat build, the keyword was IF. Oh for sure IF Del Rio had lost clean and then that was it for him then that's a terrible way to end Raw but why focus on IF? Seems counter-prodcutive to hate something for having the chance to suck.

Yeah the secondary titles are still not so great right now. The US and IC titles do seem to pretty much be TV titles these days but WWE seems to have a better memory that they exist and should be defended. Granted the titles were defended at Night of Champions but it still helps. Random battlel royal is still a battle royal and when everyone's out to get you there's some skill required. Dolph opened very strong too before the storyline really got going.

The Ryan-Ryder thing is pretty much speculation I know. Him being a US title contender is another possible interpretation but it does seem like Mason's making a turn.

I've got like a dozen names for the Ziggler-Swagger team. All-American Perfection, Cougar Commandos, Soaring Perfection, Five-Minute Heavyweights (their WHC title reigns), Two Blondes and a Latina, Blonde Sandwich, Red White and Blue (All-american with the US champ), Ziggy Swag, Forgotten Heels, Gurrero's Grenadiers, Vickie's Victims and Cougartown Abbey (probably the most nonsensical).

The Green Teabagger

ZigSwag, people.

Mike Johns

I have to agree with AW. I got the feeling WWE just realized "oh, shit, we have a PPV this sunday... we need a card!". I'm kind of used to this, as this is the norm for TNA. I don't know when WWE got off this step, as I only half pay attention to this show anymore, but isn't WWE usually pretty good about having a full card announced at least the week before?

Aaron Wood

Yes they are, to an extent. A million times better than TNA anyway. But it's their insistance on having this PPV just 2 weeks after NOC. Literally no time to build anything, so if they want to do something that wasn't simply on NOC, then they need to take the first week of the 2 to build that match. They need to get rid of this PPV. Or at least, if they insist on doing the Cell PPV theme, getting rid of the slot and putting it elsewhere.

The Chosen 1

I love ya Wood, but I don't get how you can say IF Del Rio didn't whip all kinds of ass at the end he'd look like a pussy?

Yeah... you're right....THAT'S WHY HE WHIPPED ASS.

Let's break this down, Cena gets a win. That makes him look strong (plus he's Cena). Punk BEATS Del Rio who is in the match with him. That makes HIM look strong. Del Rio doesn't win but shows that this Sunday (when there's no DQ) he can absolutely DESTROY Cena AND Punk and leave them both laying single handed. That makes... HIM look strong.

PLUS, chances are Del Rio is going to win on Sunday which means he's the only one who doesn't need an actual win on RAW to show he can win because he WILL win on Sunday. Thus, Cena gets a win, Punk gets a win over the guy who's about to be Champion, AND Del Rio gets the important win.

Everybody wins.

E.G. Woods

Also, as Powell from Dotnet said in his review, they knew about The Hell In The Cell PPV a year out. There is no reason they can't plan their existing feuds to peak at that ppv. Besides all that, I thought the show as a whole was boring, turning it off with about a half hour to go, which is not what you want a viewer to do in your go home show. And why does Beth Phoenix keep getting title shot after title shot despite losing at the previous 2 ppv's clean? They at least could've had her win a No.1 Contender's Match this time.

Sprout1883

Got to agree with getting rid of it or at least moving. if you are going to have two matches in the cell then it needs a big feud and a proper build.

Two weeks doesn't cut it for even a non standard PPV though.

I really wish they get rid of the Hell in a Cell PPV though, it ruins the spectacle of the match and you know that a certain match is going to be in it. I much prefer when we get the big feud and the GM picks the cell/challenger chooses it sort of thing. this PPV takes away from the 'spontaneity' of it.

I can accept Elimination Chamber as it is the right place and is a decent set up for mania, but HITC is WWE's definitive match.

So last week here in Hot Threads I decided to break down the entire Cena/Punk/HHH/McMahon thing by skipping major plot points, as I did not feel like writing War and Peace II: The Re-Match, using the Muppets. Within hours of Hot Threads going onto the website it was announced that the Halloween edition of Raw will be hosted by said Muppets. Needless to say I think someone in the WWE reads this column so I'm throwing this name out there: Neil Patrick Harris. We could get a Barney Stinson skit, Doogie Howser M.D. skit, Triple H and Vince can crack some gay jokes, a Dr. Horrible skit, and some song & dance routine. It has money written all over it. Especially when Harold and Kumar 3D Save Christmas comes out soon. This announcement of Muppet hosting hit the insanity boards with different levels of enthusiasm.

The Green Teabagger

The Muppets

The freaking Muppets

Are guest starring on Raw on October 31st /facepalm

Aaron Wood

That is going to be episode of the year.

RDLee

I think the Muppets are stupid as hell and I don't want to watch Kermit the frog hit the Cobra on David Otunga in a backstage skit.

James Guttman

I'm with RD on the Muppets. My wife read it on one of her celebrity news sites and was perplexed about how they can do it.

"How can they be in a ring? Isn't a person's hand up their ass?"

I explained that it would be all backstage skits and she rolled her eyes a bit like she's done about pretty much most wrestling since 1999.

E.G. Woods

And here I thought they were loosening up on The P.G. parameters.

The Chosen 1

Eh, whatever, I'm sure that I'll find a way to laugh at the ridiculousness of Miz, Truth or Ziggler cutting a promo on Kermit the fucking Frog....

The Muppets being on RAW is like #480 on the list of most ridiculous things the WWE has ever done, so it doesn't really bother me.... we've come a long way since Hornswoggle vs Coachman or even Guest Hosts vs Santino/Bella Twins and William Regal...

Aaron Wood

I love all things Muppetry.

Mike Johns

Debuting next week on Impact - "Sock Puppet Theater"

Basically, we reenact Kurt Angle's entire divorce... with sock puppets!

James Bullock

Thinking back, TNA really missed the boat with the Mick Foley and Sting feud for the simple fact they could've done "Sock Puppet Theater" with Socko and another sock marker'ed like Sting.

PeterDawson

In all seriousness, Kermit better have a match with Hornswaggle. The little guy hasn't done much lately.

By now it has become kind of a routine to end out the Hot Threads with some insane images that leave you with a smile or a laugh. This week we're going to modify that just a little. Inside of the Insanity Message Boards we have a .gif section in which people can post things from around the internet or, for some of our more creative members, show .gifs they have made themselves.

Spontaneous conversation that broke out over O'Reilly's maneuver:

RDLee

DAMN! That looks like some shit I used to do with my WWF action figures when I was a kid. Awesome sequence.

Aaron Wood

Stupid Question, and I've asked this before, as I've seen O'Reilly do this before, but... exactly what effect is the rolling butterfly DDTs supposed to have on the opponent? You can't really drop their head to the mat too harshly, or else you can't do the roll, so... say this was even a semi-real fight. How much damage does the rolling series do?

ZAH

That's supposed to be a DDT? Looked more like some side slams to me.

Nuwanda

Well let's put it like this... if that are DDT's, they're damn ineffective.

To show my reaction to this conversation

To settle this that would be Rolling Butterfly Suplexes.

With that we've reached the end of Hot Threads for the current week. I only have two pieces of advice for any of you reading this column right now:

1) If you're reading this and have yet to join the World Wrestling Insanity Forums you really need to. You can join a fantastic community of people and also maybe get your thoughts put out on a website. Granted, when you post it on the forums it will be on a website...this would be a .com.

2) While you're on the World Wrestling Insanity Forums why don't you join Season 2 of WWI fantasy Wrestling (Link right HERE http://s14.zetaboards.com/Wrestling_Insanity/topic/6671769/ ) The rules are simple and it only takes, maybe, 5 minutes out of YOUR MONTH! So go ahead and join for a chance to win prizes, have fun, and see if you're better at knowing what will happen than everyone else.

Until next time.....