| From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com Other Columns
It was a cold, snowy night in Nashville, Tennessee, and the lights were glowing off of the Jarrett household. Wreaths were hung with precision and care, and a banner that said “Happy Holidays” draped over the doorway. Inside, next to a bright, roaring fire, was the biggest evergreen you ever did see, covered in tinsel and ornaments from far and wide. On the mantle, stocking were hung, one for each child from both families. To see this happy home, one would say it was a perfect setting for what should have been the perfect Christmas for this family unit. Jeff Jarrett and Karen Angle, with children in tow, would spend the first of many Christmases together inside this cozy, happy home. Unfortunately, this was not to be, as the dastardly and deceitful Cactus Jack had overtaken the mind of the once kind and jolly Mick Foley, driving the man insane, delusional and paranoid over the slightest things. And, for whatever foul and unholy reason one could imagine, Cactus Jack had convinced Mick Foley that he had to invade this lovely home and take Karen and the children hostage. So as Karen lie there, tied up and gagged on the Jarretts’ kitchen floor, she wondered to herself if she had made the right choice to leave her obsessive and neglectful husband, and make a new life with a man who seems to be a magnet to the unfortunate and insane. In the living room, Cactus Jack was there, dressed as Santa Claus and holding a barbed-wire baseball bat. He barked at them and screamed, ordering the children to sit in a circle here on the floor, next to the Christmas tree. As Cactus Jack sat down at the head of the circle, one of Jeff's daughters began to cry, hopeless and distraught in her current predicament, wondering where her daddy could be. Surely her daddy could lay this maniac out with a guitar. She had seen it hundreds of times before. From DDP to the likes of Sting, even the children themselves knew the guitar’s mighty sting. Of course her daddy would come to save them! Of course Cactus Jack would fall at the hands of The Chosen One! But where could he be, she asked herself, where could my daddy be? As he saw the hope that glimmered in her eye, Cactus Jack began to speak in a grizzly tone that had not been seen since way back when, in a town called Philly, when Cactus Jack fought a brutal war with a man called Tommy Dreamer. “I’m going to take you back to a deciding moment in my life,” the devious one began, “a time when I believed in something. A time when I thought that there was still hope in a little time of year called ‘Christmas’. A time when the New Age Outlaws were calling themselves the Voodoo Kin Mafia, when five young cheerleaders were routinely made fools of by men in their mid-forties, acting like teenagers, a time when a lowlife skank by the name of Melina dumped me on National TV, and a time when a man by the name of Eric Young still had a soul, and a love for people that was taken from him, by manipulative sons of bitches like Hulk Hogan!” It was clear to Cactus Jack that the children were scared, but he knew he had to show them the truth of the Christmas Season, even if it were to scar them for life and turn them into people equally as wretched and depraved as he was. You see, Cactus Jack had something to prove, to himself, to Dixie Carter, to Hulk Hogan, and to Jeff Jarrett. He had long forgotten exactly what it was that he felt he needed to prove to them, but, by this point, his insanity had such a hold on him that the reasons, if they ever did truly exist, no longer mattered, simply the pursuit to hurt Dixie Carter, to hurt Hulk Hogan, and to hurt Jeff Jarrett, no matter what sick, depraved things he must do in the process. “I want you to understand, I was not always the man you see in front of you. Once upon a time, I was much more optimistic, much more caring, much happier a man than I am now. And so was he. So was Eric Young, once upon a time, in 2006…”
In the distance, some of TNA's Knockouts sat by the pool, rubbing oil on one another and talking about whatever girls talk about. Traci Brooks was there, along with Gail Kim and So-Cal Val, each wearing bikinis and looking especially hot. Eric couldn't help but notice Traci, wearing a red bikini that could hardly contain her well-known "assets". Eric had always liked her, but never had the courage to say anything, fearing that he may be rejected, or worse, get sued for sexual harassment and lose his job. Just then, she got up and walked onto the diving board, then leaped into the water and swam around for a little bit. As she climbed out of the water, she looked over towards Eric, and, for whatever reason, he could hear The Cars' "Moving In Stereo" playing in the background. "Hey Eric," Traci said. "You know how cute I always thought you were." For the first time in, well, ever, Traci had noticed him. Eric was sweating bullets. "How did she recognize me?" he thought to himself. Suddenly, Traci began walking over to him, removing her bikini top as she made her way over to the paranoid young man. Eric then stood up to meet Miss Brooks and her exposed "assets", removing his disguise in the process. She leaned in towards him, and just as they were about to kiss, Eric could hear Robert Roode's voice, screaming at him. "Hey, you worthless piece of crap!" Roode shouted. "Wake up!" When Eric opened his eyes, he found himself in the TNA Offices, sitting outside Jim Cornette's office. "What the...?" Eric stuttered, shocked to find himself suddenly back in reality. "Cornette wants to see you," Roode informed. "He does?" Eric asked. "He isn't going to fire me, is he?" "What do I care? I'm Robert Roode, the hottest free agent in professional wrestling today!" Roode responded. "But, but..." Eric stammered. "Hey, I don't care, okay? TNA's probably mad at you for cheating me out of a rightful win on Impact!" Roode said. He then stormed off towards Miss Brooks, standing in the distance with Gail Kim and So-Cal Val. Traci looked over and smiled at Eric. Eric tried to wave, but before he could, Robert Roode grabbed Traci's arm and dragged her away. With that, Eric took a deep breath, stood up, and walked into Jim Cornette's Office. "Hell, son! What took you so long?" Jim asked Eric as he walked into the office. "Ah, never mind. Have a seat. Now, do you have any idea why I asked you to come here today?" "You're going to fire me?" Eric asked. "Are you kidding me? What would give you an idea like that?" Jim reacted. "Well, Robert Roode said you were mad at me," Eric replied. "Robert Roode? That blowhard? Now, listen to me, okay? Roode has about as much sense as Vince Russo. You don't worry about him, alright?" Jim assured. "I guess so, but..." "Listen. The big TNA Christmas show is tonight, and, since the Turkey Costume you wore on Thanksgiving worked out so well, I was thinking, hell, why not have you embody the Spirit of Christmas," Jim explained. "So, what I want you to do is come up with something that embodies the Holiday Spirit, then show up at the TNA Christmas Show, and share that Holiday Spirit with the TNA fans!" "I don't know. I mean, how do you embody the Spirit of Christmas?" Eric asked. "Hell, I don't know! Dress up like Santa Claus or something! Just think of it quick. The TNA Christmas Show is only a couple of hours away, and if you can't think of anything, then, well, I might just have to get someone else to do the job," Jim said. "Someone else? Oh no!" Eric exclaimed. "What you waiting for, boy? An engraved invitation from God himself? Get going, already!" With that, Eric immediately left Jim Cornette's office. "What am I going to do?" Eric thought to himself. "If I can't embody the Holiday Spirit in time for the TNA Christmas Show, I'll lose my job, again! I can't get fired over the Holidays! How else am I going to afford that new Playstation 3 for my mom? She's been looking forward to that for months now. Heck, she even tried to freeze herself so she wouldn't have to keep waiting for one! Aw man... What am I going to do?" Then, it occurred to him. Maybe he could ask some of his fellow TNA employees. They were smart chaps, and, better yet, none of them have been fired by TNA Management lately. Someone in TNA was bound to know how to embody the Spirit of Christmas! So, off Eric went to seek out the help of the TNA roster. His first stop was the Merchandising Center, where Don West was videotaping advertisements for TNA Merchandise. Everything was for sale, from DVD's and Entrance Music CD's to T-Shirts and Knockout Calendars, and you could get them all at your local retailer, or online at ShopTNA.com! Once Don was done with all his shilling, he saw Eric Young, waiting patiently if the wings. "Hey Eric," Don called out. "How's it going?" "Bad," Eric replied. "Why bad?" Don asked. "Well, Don, Mr. Cornette wants me to embody to Spirit of Christmas for the upcoming TNA Christmas Show, and I don't know what to do," Eric explained. "Well, if you're looking for the Spirit of Christmas, it's all right here! We've got the 50 Greatest Moments in TNA DVD on sale, just in time for Christmas. And don't forget the 2007 TNA Knockouts Calendar, featuring Christy Hemme, Gail Kim, So-Cal Val, and the luscious Traci Brooks! And if that's not enough for you, there's the new 3rd Degree Burns CD, featuring the hottest entrance themes from all your favorite TNA stars, like AJ Styles and Christian Cage! It's all available now at your local retailer, or online at ShopTNA.com!" Don sold. "Yeah, that's cool, and thanks, but I'm not looking for TNA Merchandise. I'm looking for the Spirit of Christmas," Eric replied. "Eric, that is the Spirit of Christmas - Presents! Without presents, Christmas would be just another day!" Don contested. "Oh," Eric said. "Then what's with the trees and the decorations and the Peace on Earth stuff?" "I don't know. All I know is, if you're looking for the Spirit of Christmas, it's all right here! We've got the 50 Greatest Moments..." As Don once again began his hard sell, Eric walked away distressed. He just knew there had to be more to Christmas than presents. After all, didn't it have some religious meaning or something? Then, it occurred to him. Who's the most religious person in TNA? Of course! He knew who he needed to talk to! Eric patiently waited outside the Writers' Room where the writers were hammering out the final details of the TNA Christmas Show. When the meeting ended, and the Writers' door opened, a glowing light beamed from the doorway, and a man dressed in a white robe appeared before Eric. "Mr. Russo?" Eric asked. "Yea, verily, I am he." the man answered, confirming that he was, indeed, TNA Writer Vince Russo. "What's the matter, child? Are you in need of forgiveness?" "Um..." Eric pondered, thinking back to the fantasy he had earlier about Miss Brooks, "maybe. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I need your help! You see, Mr. Cornette asked me to embody the Spirit of Christmas for tonight's Christmas show, and I don't know what to do." "Oh, I see," Russo replied. "Well, first of all, you need to know what Christmas is really all about. It's not about Christmas trees or presents. It's about Jesus. You see, 200 some years ago, Jesus was born to the Virgin Mary in Bethlehem. Then, some 30 years later, he died a long, painful, and torturous death on a cross to pay for all the selfish and evil deeds we commit. Christmas is a time to remind people of how sinful they are, and the price Jesus paid for their sins, so they'll turn their lives over to Jesus and send me money so I can fund Ring of Glory... I mean, dedicate their lives to doing the Will of God. Do you see where I'm going with this?" "Christmas is all about money?" Eric asked. "No, no! It's about making people feel guilty!" Russo answered. "Oh," Eric sighed, "but, then why do people say Christmas is supposed to be a happy time?" "Because those people never saw The Passion of the Christ, Eric," Russo replied. "I see. You know, I should get going now. It was nice talking to you, Mr. Russo. Thanks for everything," Eric said, politely excusing himself. He was always told Vince Russo was crazy, but wow. That was simply something Eric had not prepared himself for. What kind of a man dresses like Jesus on Christmas, anyway? Sadly, though, this only set Eric back further. Christmas was about a lot more than just presents, but Eric knew that Christmas wasn't about making people feel bad about themselves, either. Eric paced around backstage at the Impact Zone, trying to figure out who he should go to next. He should have been looking where he was walking, though, because, suddenly, Eric collided with Hernandez, a mountain of a man who ran with the Latin American Exchange. "Problem?" Hernandez asked, looking ready to beat poor Eric down. "Well, actually, I do have a problem. See..." Eric began. Just then, Konnan and Homicide came into the picture. "You got a problem with LAX?" Konnan asked Eric. "No," Eric replied. "Whoa, hold up, Gringo!" Konnan continued. "I just heard you say you had a problem, but now that all of LAX is here, you just gonna back down? Uh-uh. I don't think so!" "Actually, what I was trying to say is that, well, Mr. Cornette told me that he wanted me to embody the Holiday Spirit for tonight's Christmas show, and..." Eric said. "Christmas? You wanna know what Christmas is really about? It's about oppression. It's about slavery. It's about discrimination and racism!” Konnan ranted. “You really think that Whitey cares about Christmas in the Barrio? No! All they care about is that we make their toys in time for Santa! Well, you know what we're gonna do at the Christmas show? I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna get Santa Claus from the mall, drag his ass into the Impact Zone, and set his ass on fire so all the kids will see just how much of a fraud this season is! Orale! Arriba La Raza!" Homicide then gets up in Eric's face before LAX walks away, leaving Eric to ponder what they just said to him. Christmas was about oppression and racism? That couldn't be true! Fortunately, Eric didn't have to think about that long as his friend and former Team Canada captain Petey Williams made his way over to Eric. "There you are," Petey said. "We have to hurry, the meeting is about to start!" "Meeting?" Eric asked. "What meeting?" "The Mandatory X-Division Meeting, Eric! Didn't you get the memo?" Petey asked. "Wait... I'm not in the X-Division!" Eric proclaimed. "Am I?" "According to the memo," Petey began, pulling a piece of paper out of his pants pocket, "you are. Let's go, already! We don't want to be late for this." And, with that, Eric Young and Petey Williams made their way to the locker room, where all the other X-Division wrestlers were waiting. Moments later, Austin Starr and Alex Shelley came into the room, followed by their mentor, the 7 foot-tall Kevin Nash. Shelley and Starr made their way over to a curtain positioned near the end of the locker room while Nash settled behind a podium set up by the curtain. Nash then began the meeting by having Alex Shelley take attendance. Once every X-Division star had been accounted for, Nash addressed the room. "Now, I know you're all wondering why you've been gathered here today," Nash began, "and, believe me, this is something that each and every one of you are going to want to be a part of. As you know, tonight is the big TNA Christmas Show, and each TNA star has been encouraged by management to come up with something that will really blow the roof off the Impact Zone. So, being the great X-Division Star that I am, I've decided to take the initiative here, and put together the first-ever Kevin Nash Invitational X-Division Christmas Cookie Bake-Off!" Immediately, Senshi raised his hand. "Yes, you, the serious-looking bald guy." "Yeah," Senshi began. "This is a joke, right?" "I assure you, this is no joke. This is something that has never been seen on a wrestling program before, and, if you ask me, I think it's long overdue," Kevin answered. "So, what? We just bake cookies, then?" Sonjay Dutt interjected. "That's right, Apu," Kevin answered. "And, the best part," Alex Shelley added, "Kev, tell them what they get if they win!" "Ah, yes. The Grand Prize. Whichever X-Division Star makes the best cookies will get a year's supply of..." Nash announced, gesturing towards Austin Starr, who pulled the curtain away to show... *BURP!* ... An obviously drunk Scott Hall trying to get the last drop out of a keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. "Scott?" Nash asked. "Oh, hey Kev. Sorry I'm late. I didn't miss the strippers, did I?" Scott said, shortly before falling on his face and losing consciousness. "Okay, Plan B. The Winner of the Kevin Nash Invitational X-Division Christmas Cookie Bake-Off wins, um, an autographed 8 by 10 photograph of TV Land's Finest, The Austin Starr!" Nash recovered as Austin Starr posed. Just then, Eric Young raised his hand. "Yeah, you, with the pointy hair. You have a question?" "Actually, yes, I do, Mr. Nash," Eric began. "I was just wondering, exactly what does all of this have to do with the Spirit of Christmas?" Kevin Nash just stared at Eric like a monkey doing a math problem. "What?" "Well," Eric continued, "Mr. Cornette wanted me to embody the Christmas Spirit for the TNA Christmas Show tonight, and I was just wondering what a Christmas Cookie Bake-Off had to do with Christmas, that's all." "Want me to take care of this, Kev?" Alex Shelley asked. "No," Nash answered. "I can handle this." Kevin then turned his attention back to Eric Young and said, "They're CHRISTMAS Cookies." "Yeah, I understand that," Eric said. "But how do cookies embody the Spirit of Christmas? Do they have, like, some sort of meaning behind them, or..." "Okay, kid, listen up," Nash said. "All you need to know about the Spirit of Christmas is that it boils down to three simple things - food, beer, and getting laid. That enough Christmas Spirit for ya?" Just as Eric was about to respond, Petey Williams stood up and said, "Well, if that's what Christmas is all about, then, hell, I might as well try to get me a piece of Christy Hemme while the getting's good! Later losers! Have fun with your Bake Sale!" "He's right!" Sonjay Dutt shouted. "This is stupid! I'm out." "Me too," Jay Lethal agreed. With that, every single X-Division star left the room, leaving Nash, Shelley, Austin Starr, and an unconscious Scott Hall in the locker room. "So," Austin said, "We gonna bake some cookies or what?" Outside the locker room, Eric Young once again began to panic. Not only was the Christmas Show hours away, and he still had no idea how to embody the Spirit of Christmas, but Eric was sure that he just pissed off Kevin Nash, which might not turn out well in the long run. After all, the way TNA is run, it would only be a mater of time before Kevin Nash was booking. Eric paced back and forth, back and forth, racking his brain for ideas when, suddenly, he ran into the James Gang, or, as they were now calling themselves, the Voodoo Kin Mafia. "Hey Eric," BG James said. "How's it going?" "Bad," Eric answered. "Why bad?" BG asked. "I only have a few more hours before the Christmas show, and if I can't figure out how to embody the Spirit of Christmas by then, I'm going to get fired!" Eric panicked. "Whoa, hold it there, little guy!" Kip James said. "There's nothing to worry about. We'll help you out!" "Really? You guys know what the Spirit of Christmas is all about?" Eric asked. "Well, I don't know if we got the answers you're looking for," BG said, "but we're pretty sure we know someone who will. I just hope he hasn't changed his number since the last time we saw him." BG James then reached for his cell phone and looked up the number of an old friend. "I'll even put it on speaker for you." "Wow," Eric gasped. "You guys are really cool for doing this. I don't know how to thank you!" "Don't worry about it," Kip said. Just then, BG interrupted, "Shh. It's ringing." Then, BG switched his phone to speaker, and held it out so all three could hear the conversation. Once the phone picked up, a message began to play. "Hey guys! Mick Foley here! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but, as it turns out, I'm not right here, in Long Island, New York…” After a long, awkward silence, Mick’s message continued, “I said, 'right here, in Long Island, New York'…” After an even longer, increasingly awkward silence, the message continued, “Damn... Sorry about that. Ever since I got fired by my close, personal friend, Melina, I just haven't been the same. The cheap pops don't work anymore. I think I've even lost that old Christmas Spirit! But don't worry about me,” the Hardcore Legend began to sob. “It’ll get better, someday, right? God, I hope so. Bang Bang!" "Wow," Kip said. "I wasn't expecting that. Guess he was a lot more into that Melina chick than he let on." "I guess." BG agreed. He then turned to Eric and said, "Sorry kid." "It's okay," Eric replied. "Maybe McDonald's is hiring." "Don't lose hope," BG said. "It's Christmas! Good things always happen to people at Christmas!" "I guess," Eric sighed, leaving the James' behind. As he approached the Impact Interview Area, Eric was stopped by the familiar voice of Jeremy Borash. "Hey there," JB said. "What's the matter?" "I'm gonna lose my job," Eric whined. JB, having heard this about a thousand times before, tried not to roll his eyes before asking, "Why are you going to lose your job this time?" "Because I don't know how to embody the Spirit of Christmas," Eric said. "You don't?!" JB asked, shocked. "No," Eric replied. "Wow," JB began. "I figured that if anyone here would know about the Christmas Spirit, it'd be you!" "Really?" Eric asked. "How come?" "Well, a lot of people tend to think that Christmas is about presents and food and songs and all that junk," JB explained. "Then, you have people who'll use Christmas to try and make you feel guilty about, well, everything. Then, you got some who don't even care about Christmas at all, they just care about themselves, and, maybe, if you're lucky, they care about what you buy them. It just seems really stupid, because all the while, we all go on about how special Christmas is, and how it's only once a year and whatever, and all they do is turn Christmas into one big joke!" "So Christmas is a joke?" Eric asked. "No, it's not," JB continued. "It's not even something that only happens once a year. Christmas is... How do I explain it? You're a wrestler. Why did you become a wrestler?" "Well, I guess I did it because I loved the idea of being able to go out there and entertain people. You know, make them smile, feel better about their own lives, even if only for a few hours," Eric answered. "That's what the Spirit of Christmas is about, Eric,” JB said. "Wrestling?" "No, the stuff about wanting to make people happy and feel better about life, even if it's only for a little while," JB corrected. "Oh." "See? You knew that all along," JB concluded. "So, I'm not going to lose my job?" Eric asked. "No, you're not," JB answered. "Sweet," Eric replied. "Now, I just have one problem." "What's that?" JB asked. "You don't know where I can get a Playstation 3 for my mom, do you?" "That, I don't know," JB answered. "But if I hear anything, I'll let you know." "Thanks," Eric said, walking away with his head held high. Now that he knew what the Holidays were about, he knew exactly what he needed to do. Eric was going to make sure this was the most memorable Christmas in TNA History. Later that night, the TNA Christmas Show went off without a hitch. As expected, Austin Starr won the Kevin Nash Invitational X-Division Christmas Cookie Bake-Off, but, as he already had an autographed picture of himself that he won at the Kevin Nash Invitational X-Division Karaoke Contest a few weeks back, he was instead given a free coupon for a free meal at the International House of Pancakes. Meanwhile, the main event for the evening, a match between TNA's hottest young star, AJ Styles, and their latest acquisition, the Olympic Gold Medalist, Kurt Angle, tore down the house. With Styles scoring the pin after a long, grueling match, Angle took the young man's hand and raised it high to the cheers of TNA fans in the Impact Zone. Suddenly, Eric Young's music played, and the Pied Piper of TNA, as Mike Tenay has called him, made his way to the 6-sided ring. “What the hell is going on here?” Kurt asked AJ as Eric entered the ring. “I don’t have the slightest clue, Kurt,” AJ responded. Once in the ring, Eric took a mic from JB, who was standing by at ringside, and addressed the crowd. “Ladies and Gentlemen, earlier today, I was asked by TNA Management to come out here tonight and embody the spirit of Christmas. And while I could have simply come out here dressed like Santa Claus, passed out some treats, and been done with it, I realized that I could do so much more. See, for the past year or so, TNA has seen it fit to have me come out here and act like a damn fool! While I’ve been dressing in turkey costumes and serving as a doormat for guys like Robert Roode, guys like Kurt Angle and AJ Styles have been out here in the Main Event, having some of the greatest matches in wrestling history! So, as a testament to the Christmas Spirit, I’ve decided to give you, the TNA Fans, something that you will never, ever, forget.” With that, Eric Young took the mic that was sitting in his hand, and smashed it across AJ Styles’ face. As EY began stomping on the prone body of AJ Styles, Kurt Angle tried to pull the freshly-turned heel off of the young star, just to be met with a microphone shot across the face, as well. As Kurt lie dazed, struggling to get to his feet, Eric grabbed the Olympic Gold Medalist and drove his head to the mat with a devastating piledriver. He then did the same to the phenomenal AJ Styles as the crowd in the Impact Zone booed and cursed at Eric Young. “Merry F**king Christmas,” Eric taunted as the show came to a close. “Hope you liked your present!”
“So, you see,” Cactus Jack said to all the Jarrett Girls and all the little Angles, “Eric Young did the only thing he had to do to share the Christmas Spirit. He gave those ungrateful TNA Fans exactly what they asked for, and bore all of their hatred, all of their anger, and let them forget all about their crappy little lives for a few hours! And what did he get for it? I’ll tell you what he got! NOTHING! Nothing at all! Not a phone call! Not an e-mail! NOTHING! You’d think that Dixie would have just TOLD ME about Hulk Hogan! I’m the god-damned Executive Shareholder, for Christ’s Sake! Why would you sign Hulk Hogan to TNA without telling me?! You don’t think I deserve to know?” Cactus Jack rose to his feet in anger, clutching his barbed-wire baseball bat. The hatred and frustration surged through his body as he stared at the Jarretts’ Christmas tree. “You don’t think…” Cactus Jack sighed, raising the barbed-wire bat. “You don’t think… YOU DON’T THINK ANTYHING OF ME, DO YOU, MELINA!!!” And with a furious blow, Cactus Jack bashed the Jarretts’ tree with his signature bat. Over and over again, he beat the tree, shouting and screaming the name of the woman who scorned him all those many years ago. “DID YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST THROW ME AWAY, MELINA?! DID YOU THINK I WOULD JUST FORGET?! I’LL NEVER FORGET! I’LL NEVER FORGIVE! AND, BY GOD, IF I HAVE TO KILL HULK HOGAN AND TNA TO GET YOU TO NOTICE ME, I’LL DO IT!!” Jack then turns to the little Jarretts and the little Angles, wielding the barbed-wire baseball bat, now covered with tinsel, pieces of evergreen branches entwined within the barbs of the wire. “Hulk Hogan isn’t better than me, right kids?” The children, scared beyond words, stared frightened and silent at the seething madman standing before them. “I said, ‘Hulk Hogan isn’t better than me, right kids?’” Jack asked again, louder and more emphatically than before. When the children don’t answer, he points his bat at them and shouts, “Hey! You little brats answer me when I ask you a question!” A voice calls out from behind Cactus Jack, “Who the hell are you calling ‘brats’?” As Cactus Jack turns around, he is met with a silver guitar, smashing atop his head. It was the King of the Mountain, Jeff Jarrett, finally home to save the Holiday! “DADDY!” the other little girl cried out. “I knew you’d come!” All the little Jarretts and all the little Angles ran over to Jeff Jarrett as he dropped to one knee, and hugged them all like he had never hugged his (or Karen’s) children before. “Are you guys all right?” Jeff asked the children. “Yeah,” one answered, but the others, though, were looking over the broken pieces of the Jarretts’ Christmas tree in tears. Jeff went over to his youngest daughter and put his arm around her. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Christmas is ruined,” the other little girl sobbed. “Ah, I don’t know about all that,” Jeff said to his little girl. “Sure, the tree’s a mess, and some mentally-diseased whack job broke into our house and took all of you hostage for a few hours, but… at least no one is hurt, right?” “Uh huh,” she answered. “Christmas is going to be fine,” Jeff assured. “We can clean up the mess. We can fix the tree… I think. And, if not, to hell with the tree! Christmas isn’t about a tree, or presents, or any of that commercial crap! It’s about spending time with your family and being grateful for every moment of life that we have together.” The Angle girl walks over to Jeff and taps him on the shoulder. “Aren’t you going to go untie my mommy, Mr. Jarrett?” “In a minute,” Jeff answers before returning to his speech, “Christmas is about being together and being happy, even if only for a moment.” Jeff's daughter walks over and hugs him. She whispers, “I love you.” “I love you, too,” Jeff replies. “I love you, too.”
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