We Want Insanity
(20 Mins) JG's Free Audio Insanity: And Then Daniel Bryan Retired
JG's 2/14/05 Raw Insanity: JBL, Roddy Piper, and Britney Friggin' Spears
(20 Mins) JG's Free Audio Insanity: Grab Vince, Go Home
The Question: What Popular TV Show Do You Just Not Get?
WWE Smackdown Playlist
Facebook
Twitter
The ROHbot Report: Nashville Results, 14th Anniversary Title Bouts, and More
Anime Verdict: Toradora
TGIF: Squashing The Lunatic Fringe, Titus's Push, and More
(31 Mins) Honor Nation: Thank You, Daniel Bryan


Winterz Recess: That Time I Went To Denny's With New Jack and Hillbilly Jim...

By Jay Winterz Dec 7, 2011 - 12:44 PM print


(JG Note: ClubWWI.com members know Jay Winterz as the host of "Winterz Wonderland."  Join him now as he ventures to the other side of the .com and shares some of his weirdest wrestling adventures with you all on "Winterz Recess.")

-


-

I'm getting sick. I have kids.    They get sick. I get sick. It's my fault for teaching them to share. That reminds me of a story that took place not too long ago. Or maybe it did. I don't know. I'm not feeling so great…

 

It started as a normal day. I woke up did some exercises, washed my ass, and made some coffee. While I was making my coffee the phone rang. On the other end it was hardcore wrestling legend New Jack.

-

 

 

I said, "Hello."

 

He said, " Hey bitch, wanna get some f**kin' lunch?! "

 

I was off that day so I agreed and asked him where we could go. He replied ," It don't f**kin' matta to me, but I talked to Jim earlier and he said he wanted to go to Denny's. So that's where we're going!"

 

I said OK…but then realized I had no idea what "Jim" he was talking about. So I asked, "Jim who? "

 

He said, "Hillbilly Jim, Bitch!"

 

I was like oh, I thought you might have been talking about Duggan. New Jack said , "I wouldn't eat shit with that dirty f**ka!"

 

I didn't ask him why because he screamed into the phone and hung up abruptly.

So, I figured he'd just show up. I waited outside and they pulled up in a 1979 station wagon with the old wood panel siding.   
-

 

I hopped in and said…

 

" Hey, Hillbilly Jim. Hey, New Jack.

 

Jim shook my hand, smiled, and said, "Hey Jay, how's it going?"

 

Jack stabbed my hand with a pencil, growled, and said "Hey mutha f**ka! What's happenin', captain?!"

 

I said to both I'm good.  But as the trip dragged on, New Jack got upset and hollered, "Jim push this old piece of shit, I'm hungrier than a hungry mutha f**ka!"

 

So Jim put the pedal down and we were on our way to Denny's…

 

We arrived at are location, on this cool November day. As we were going in a couple ladies came up and said, "Hey!  Aren't you world-renowned superstars Hillbily Jim, New Jack, and Jay Winterz?"

 

I smiled and said, "Yes and how are you two ladies doing?"

 

They replied, "Great! Could we get an autograph?"

 

I said, "Sure".  Jim said, "Sure".  And New Jack...well he said, " You can sign deez nutz!"  They couldn't believe it and walked off.

 

Jack didn't care. He jumped up and said, "Screw 'em, let's get some sausage!"

 

So we went up to the counter and the waitress asked, "Table for 3?" To which New Jack replied," No, a table for 5."

 

"5?" she asked.

 

 He said "Yeah, us 3 and those 2 big ol' soppy melons of yours!  Hahahaha! Stupid ass bitch!"

 

We just stood there in silence for a minute and I'm thinking in my head, uh, WTF! At this point, Jim tried to apologize to the waitress, because he didn't want her spitting in our food. We sat and checked menu. When the waitress came over, I ordered, then Jim , then New Jack..and it went like this.

 

"Lady listen up, I want 6 sausages, and they betta be longer then my d**k … 5 panty cakes, 3 eggs, grits with some cheddar cheese, coke, and a sprite".

 

Confused, she said, "You want a coke and a sprite?"

 

 New Jack simply stared at her and said, "Bitch is you stupid? I want some coke as in cocaine and a funky ass sprite! In fact, cocaine for everyone in the dining room! It's on us!"

 

Shocked, she answered, "Sir we don't have cocaine…"

 

The shit hit the fan.

 

"Oh you gonna get some cocaine for everybody or else…!"

 

That's about when he pulled a staple gun from his pants and they asked us to leave.

 

Jack wasn't stopping. "We ain't goin nowhere til we get them grits, eggs, pancakes and most importantly the cocaine!"

 

 She shouted to her manager, "Drew! Call the cops!"

 

Hillbilly looks at me and we both get up and leave just as the police cars pulled up. New Jacks starts to call us bitches for leaving.  But whatever. We watch the cops go in. Jack's standing there with a staple gun, and a stop sign and a cookie sheet…Don't know where those items came from but he had them.

 

The cops finally tackle him, put him in cuffs, and drag him out kicking and screaming! Me and Jim went and got food at a drive thru and he dropped me off back home. I told him have a good holiday. He said "You do the same, Jay."

 

Fast Forward 14 hours...I get a call from an unknown number, I pick it up and its New Jack calling collect from jail saying my bitch ass better come and get him out. I told him I'll call a few people and see what
I can do. He said " F**kin hurry up, I think my order should be ready by now at Denny's."

 

I haven't heard from New Jack since then. I heard he got extra time in jail for sneaking barbed wire in. Then again, I'm pretty sure nothing I said here is true because, as I told you, I'm pretty sick and jacked up on Nyquil. So there's about a 100% chance that I dreamed all this. I don't know for sure. The only thing I do know for sure…I'm now in the mood for Denny's.




blog comments powered by Disqus

JG col

JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Facebook Posts To Annoy Your Friends
JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE
JG's Ten Crazier Fanbases Than Wrestling's
JG's Ten Copycat Wrestling Characters (and The Gimmicks They Copied)
JG's Raw 1000 Insanity: The Rocky Road To Royal Rumble

Anime Verdict: Toradora
The ROHbot Report: Nashville Results, 14th Anniversary Title Bouts, and More
TGIF: Squashing The Lunatic Fringe, Titus's Push, and More
The Question: What Popular TV Show Do You Just Not Get?
Game Day - Doom Gets Release Date, Battalion 1944 Gets Funded, And More
The ROHbot Report: Nashville Preview, Omega Returns, and More
TGIF: Cut The Bull-Fit, Kong Gone, and More
Anime Verdict: Kanon
The Question: What's Your Worst Habit?
Game Day - New Ghostbusters Coming, Madden Predicts Super Bowl 50, And More
Crocker! Lead
The ROHbot Report: Winter Warriors, 14th Anniversary Main Event, and More
TGIF: Rusev Wins The TV Title, T.N.A.J. Drama, and More
Greatest Old Age Video Game Characters
The Question: What Show Have You Most Recently Gotten Into?
Game Day - Mike Tyson In UFC 2, No AJ Styles DLC For WWE 2K16, And More
The ROHbot Report: Collinsville Results, Winter Warriors Preview, and More
TGIF: Social Jobbers Over Clueless Rookie, Impact Rising, and More
Weirdest Video Game Celebrity Cameos
The Question: What's Your Binge Food?
Game Day - New TMNT Game Leaked, Big Beta Release Dates, And More
The ROHbot Report: Indianapolis Results, Global Wars to Chicago, and More
TGIF: Kalisto's a No Go, Rehashed Hardys, and More
Greatest Metal Gear Solid Boss Battles
The Question: What's The First Website Your Remember Visiting?
Game Day - Left 4 Dead 3 Coming, PornStation For The Win, And More
Worth Your Money? ROH "Survival of the Fittest '15: Night 2
The ROHbot Report: Charlotte Taping Preview, Winter Warriors Tour, and More
TGIF: Losing Cena, Gaining Bullets, and More
The Question: What's The Craziest Conspiracy Theory You've Heard?

-

(Free 40 Min Audio) Less Than 30: Gotham!
Aug 13, 2014
E3 2014: The Games, The Trailers, and Everything You Need To Know
Jun 25, 2014
Meet Stevie Richards and Support a Great Cause: Happy Meower Fundraiser for BARCS
Apr 13, 2014
Rebooking The Royal Rumble: An Illustrated Look At What Should Have Been
Feb 2, 2014
The Elite Eight: WWE's NXT Big Things
Jan 15, 2014
Why Roman Reigns Should Break Undertaker's WrestleMania Streak (and Why He Shouldn't)
Dec 26, 2013
(Free 165 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Games of the Generation Continued
Nov 21, 2013
(Free 135 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Games of the Generation - Segment 2
Nov 5, 2013
(Free 135 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Games of the Generation - Segment 1
Oct 28, 2013
(Free 100 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Dragon's Crown and Guilty Pleasures
Aug 11, 2013
(Free 135 Min Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: San Diego Comic-Con and Upcoming Games
Jul 28, 2013
Med's Got Something To Review: Deadpool
Jul 16, 2013
Make The Match: Ricky Steamboat vs. A.J. Styles
Jun 29, 2013
Make The Match: The Fabulous Freebirds vs. The Shield
Jun 27, 2013
Make The Match: Giant Gonzalez vs. The Great Khali
Jun 25, 2013
Make The Match: Damien Sandow vs. The Genius
Jun 23, 2013
Make The Match: Ryback vs. Goldberg
Jun 20, 2013
(Free Four Hour Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: E3 Drunkcast Spectacula​
Jun 15, 2013
(Free 110 Min Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: E3 Preview and GRID Too
Jun 2, 2013
(Free 80 Min Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Microsoft Reveals The Xbox One
May 23, 2013

Even More From This Category >>

ClubWWI.com Contact Us Forums
All content contained here Copyright - We Want Insanity Dot Com