In a far corner of the WWE Locker Room, the rookies of NXT are huddled together, grateful for the opportunity to use an actual locker room to dress and prepare for their matches in.   As The Miz would likely tell you, such a thing is a privilege, a privilege that could be revoked at any time, for any reason the WWE Superstars saw fit.   A reason such as reading the latest issue of your favorite comic book…

Daniel Bryan, a veteran of wrestling locker rooms and the politics that ran them, understood the potential consequences of his actions.   After all, The Miz has been looking for a reason to harass the former Ring of Honor Champion at every turn, but Bryan didn’t care.   He had waited 30 long days for the latest issue of Saints of Los Angeles to come out, and now that it finally had, he had to find out, once and for all, if the Channel 9 News Reporter, Leeza Meadows, would, in fact, reveal the identities of the mysterious Supermen who had saved her life from the notorious street gang, the Skulls, back in Issue 17, to the corrupt and abusive Cops who held her at their mercy.   Could they literally beat the truth out of her, and proceed to rid LA of the only people brave enough to stand up to them?   Or would the Saints be able to save her before it was too late?

Of course, you have no idea what any of this is about.   But that’s okay.   We’ll get to the comic soon enough.   Right now, though, we have to deal with The Miz, who is as of this very moment standing over his protégé with an angry look on his face.

“What the f*ck are you doing?” Miz shouted to Daniel Bryan.

Daniel Bryan looked up at his angry mentor and said, “oh, hey Miz.   What’s up?” before returning to his comic.

Miz cleared his throat loudly.

“Wow, that sounds pretty bad,” Bryan said, continuing to read his comic.   “I think I have some cough drops in my bag if you want one.”  

Miz, annoyed, snatches the comic book out of Daniel Bryan’s hands and tosses it to the floor behind him, where, strangely enough, Big Show happens to see it.

“Hey!” Bryan exclaimed.   “I was reading that!”

“Do you know where you are?” Miz asked Bryan.

“East Rutherford, New Jersey, I think,” Bryan answered.   “I definitely know we’re SOMEWHERE in New Jersey…”

“Dammit!” Miz yelled, slapping Bryan upside his head.   “What the hell is wrong with you?!   Every time I ask you a question, you have to have some smart-ass answer, like you’re somebody!”

“Well, obviously I’m somebody, or else you’re be talking to yourself right now,” Bryan retorted.

“There you go again!” Miz ranted.   “Making some smart-ass comment, just like all the other internet geeks out there who think they’re somebody just because they have an opinion!   Well, in case you’ve forgotten, this isn’t Ring of Honor, and those internet marks who kiss your ass don’t mean a damn thing here in the WWE!”

“Uh-huh… so what does that have to do with me reading a comic book, exactly?” Bryan asked.

“Once again, Indy Boy, this isn’t Ring of Honor.   You’re not about to go out in front of a hundred nerds, sing that sh*tty ‘Final Countdown’ song, and wrestle a twig in a mask named ‘El Generico’ for 45 minutes as the nerds chant ‘this is awesome… this is awesome… this is awesome…’   You’re in the WWE now, where MEN go out, in front of thousands of screaming fans, and…”

“…and roll around in their underwear while Triple H makes fart jokes.   I know.   Believe me, I know where I am, Miz,” Daniel Bryan said.   “And that’s why, when I win NXT, beat you for the United States Championship, and become the most dominant force in professional wrestling history, I’ll be sure to remember to do so while making fart jokes and paling around with a midget.   I mean, if it works for Triple H…”

Miz, frustrated beyond words, “You really think you’re better than all of us, don’t you?”

“Well, not all of you.   Just the idiots who think the term ‘workrate’ has something to do with their paychecks,” Bryan answered.

“I see,” Miz sighed.   “Well, since you’re such an expert and all, then perhaps you’re aware of the rules of the WWE Locker Room.”

“Well, I do know that if you eat a piece of chicken over someone’s bag and get some crumbs in it, you have to go and dress in the public restrooms for 6 months,” Bryan stated.   “But you already knew that one, right?”

Miz, enraged and humiliated, quietly said, “Yeah, and, perhaps you know the one about reading comic books in the locker room.”

Big Show, who had spent the last few minutes looking over Daniel’s copy of Saints of Los Angeles, looked up and said, “There’s a rule about reading comics in the locker room?”

Miz looked over and saw Big Show with the comic book in his hands and said, “OF COURSE THERE’S A RULE ABOUT READING COMIC BOOKS IN THE LOCKER ROOM, YOU IDIOT!!!”

“Whoa,” Big Show said, standing up.   “Who do you think you’re calling an ‘idiot’, little man?”

“Um,” Miz stammered.   “Nobody?”

“That’s what I thought,” Big Show said as he passed by the Miz.   Show then walks over to Daniel Bryan, holds up the comic and says, “You have any of the past issues?   This is actually pretty good.”

“Yeah, I know!” Daniel replied.   “Turns out, the guy who writes it is a HUGE wrestling fan, too!   Writes a column for some website… World-Something-Or-Other.com”

“Really?” Big Show said.   “You know, maybe we should go talk to Vince, see if WWE Studios would want to turn this into a movie or something.”

Meanwhile, off in the distance, Evan Bourne and Yoshi Tatsu are getting ready for their match, completely unaware of the conversation taking place nearby.  

“AHEM!!!” Big Show said loudly, as to get the attention of the Main Characters of this Story, who have, so far, played absolutely no part in this chapter whatsoever.   “ I said, ‘PERHAPS WE SHOULD TALK TO VINCE AND SEE IF WWE STUDIOS WOULD WANT TO TURN THIS INTO A MOVIE OR SOMETHING!!!”

Yoshi Tatsu nudged Evan and said to him, “I think he’s talking to us.”

“Who?” Evan asked.

“Him,” Yoshi said, pointing at the Big Show.

“Oh sh*t,” Evan exclaimed.  

Big Show proceeded to take the comic over to Evan and Yoshi.   As he handed Evan the comic, he said to them, “Perhaps you two should go to Vince McMahon and see if he’d be interested in turning THIS into a movie!”  

“Movie?” Evan asked, not knowing what Big Show was talking about.   “What movie?”

“You know,” Big Show began, “the movie the two of you have been talking about for the past week.   The one you wanted to pitch to Vince so you could make some fat cash, like Ted DiBiase did?   The one you didn’t have an idea for?”

“You know,” Yoshi said.   “The movie!   So I make money enough to get apartment of my own and no longer do Twilight with Goldust!”

“OH!” Evan exclaimed.   “The MOVIE!   I completely forgot about it!”

“How in hell do you forget something like this?!” Yoshi shouted at Evan.

“Sorry, Yoshi,” Evan said.   “I’m a midcarder on Raw.   I’m not used to having a storyline that actually progresses from week to week!”

“True,” Yoshi added.   “But you do not understand.   You do not rehearse poorly-written dialog while middle-aged white man in gold face-paint and wig caresses your shirtless torso as band called ‘Paramore’ plays annoyingly whiny song and teenage girl pretends to sing about puppy love!   You do not sit awake at night wondering how Mormon Author get basic facts about vampire myth completely wrong.   You do not wonder why two otherwise decent boys waste time and effort on cold, emotionally distant prima donna who only use them for what she can get out of them, a woman who is nothing but selfish and manipulative, who knows nothing of true love or what it means to be decent human being!”

Yoshi looks around him to see everyone in the WWE Locker Room, staring at him in complete silence, hanging on his every word.  

The uncomfortable silence is eventually broken by Carlito, who says, simply, “That’s not cool.”

“I had no idea it was that bad, Yoshi,” Evan said.   “I’m sorry.”

“Well,” Yoshi said, “You should be!”

Evan stands up with the comic book in hand, and declares, “Well, from here on out, it’s all about getting this movie made, so we can make some fat cash, and you can get the hell out of Goldust’s apartment before Twilight drives you insane!”

“You do know Eclipse is coming out in June, right?” Big Show adds.

“Oh sh*t!” Yoshi exclaims.

“We need to hurry!” Evan says, darting out of the locker room, followed by Yoshi.

Miz walks up to the Big Show as he watches Evan and Yoshi leave.   “You sure this is a good idea, Show?”

“Of course, I’m sure,” Show reassured The Miz.   “The fewer contenders to our belts, the better.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Miz said, “but you really think Vince is going to make a movie starring those two?”

“It wouldn’t be the dumbest thing he’s ever done…” Big Show said.