Aaron Wood
Seriously now, why not just throw in Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair while they're at it.

I suppose that TNA must really pay their main eventers sh*tty money too, and RVD went crawling to WWE looking for to see if they can get some residuals his way...

James Guttman
That's pretty cool. RVD is a nice addition. Up until his TNA debut, he was one of those guys who was on WWE's call-back list for big moments so it makes sense he's in there. Imagine if they still had Jeff on the roster. That would have been sick.

RDLee
RVD was a free agent at the time when they secured him so why would they pay to use his likeness and then take him out when he can do nothing but help sell the game to TNA fans.

Keeping him in was a smart marketing move by WWE this time. I was happy when I saw this picture and would much rather him be in it than f*cking JBL or some of the other rumored names.

Plus this is one of those announcements that has sent shock waves to the long time SvR fans. No one believed he was possible to be in but now they are eating their words.

  It's that time, again, Insanity Fans.   It's time for our collective of smart-asses to rip apart Monday Night Raw…

            JohnnyCraze
            who the hell is Tyler Reks?

            The Green Teabagger
            He's the guy with the shitty dreads that looks like he hasn't showered since NXT was born

wolfchild
HOLY SH*T!!   How did we all miss big Zeke's return?

Aaron Wood
We didn't. That was it.

In case you didn't hear, it was going to be Mark Henry in Jackson's spot, but Henry's brother had a stroke and is critically ill. That's what they referred to last week when they said Henry wasn't there.

The Green Teabagger
Hey thats not fair. Big Show's shirt doesn't have a captain's C on it like The Miz

Aaron Wood
Hang on, where in the hell was R-Truth? He beat DiBiase last week for a RAW team spot. Alex Riley was out there instead.

RDLee
Yeah, I think Zeke took Truths place.

Aaron Wood
No, I just remembered. Truth isn't allowed into Canada because of past legal issues. This is in Calgary. THAT'S why he's not there.

Zeke does have Henry's spot.

JT
Now I know Cole is retarded and all, but are both him and Lawler sitting behind laptops? Why can't he check get his GM e-mails from that one?

The Green Teabagger
The other one is magic. It has a Raw label on it.

Aaron Wood
Lawler has a laptop to look at porn and check Cleveland Indians scores during the season. Cole doesn't.

JohnnyCraze
was it ever explained why Hornswoggle can't talk?

TheChosen1
Because he's a Leprechaun

The Green Teabagger
Teddy Long's trying to teach him.

So far Hornswaggle knows AHHHHHHH, BAHHHHHH, and MMMMMMM AAAAAAAAH. Thus, he's a better promo than Michelle McCool

wolfchild
Has anyone else noticed that 'Knuckleheads' has gotten positive reviews from just one guy. Jeffery Lyons. I think Hunter changed his name again.

Aaron Wood

  Hey!   Two weeks in a row, we managed to have an active Impact thread!   Way to go, Message Board!   Let's see what our collective of smart-asses had to say about the 6-Minute Wrestling Show –

TheGreatWhiteDope
"This company is gonna live forever."   Well....we all have different views on time flow I guess

JT
Abyss, it's not that we didn't believe, we just didn't care.

The Green Teabagger
At least they're explaining it for once.

TheGreatWhiteDope
but they aren't explaining the RVD thing...Jarrett begging Joe and all that.

The Green Teabagger
I didn't say they were explaining it well.

RYTMAN
You know what...
These assholes couldn't get ANYTHING going for them;
So they decided to go w/the bad heat Hogan was getting and threw this together a month ago cuz NOTHING ELSE was working! WHICH IS EXACTLY WHATY WCW DID IN 98' AND THEY DESERVE TO FAIL!

JT
Look instead of making us wait, we get the 30 person nWo in one night.

SABUISGOD
Jumpin Jeebus on a pogo stick!
2 questions-
When did the rift in the time/space continuum happen to get me stuck back in 1998?
Why in the flaming blue f*ck does anyone think that following the formula that ruined WCW will have a different result now?

The Green Teabagger
When Dixie Carter begged Hulk Hogan to come to TNA.

Because no one that involved in that can admit they were wrong and blame it on everyone that had nothing to do with the fall of WCW a k a the young guys. When TNA falls, Bischoff will blame AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and the TNA ORiginals for 'not playing ball'

wolfchild
I was gonna say "it only took 15 minutes for them to make the New Regime to god damn big" but I see you guys already said it for me.

Is there going to be any wrestling on tonight's Impact? Just curious...

exx
not looking like it so far

JT
So is tonight just gonna be a sketch show or is there actually gonna be some wrestling at some point.

The Green Teabagger
Wrestling?

Why have wrestling when you can have JWoww?

I, personally, like South Park's solution to Jersey Shore and wish to apply it to Hogan....and Jersey Shore.

SABUISGOD
Wait- Hogan and Eric are heels, but then they try to spin it as Dixie is the real heel, and they are saving TNA by taking over? Vince Russo must be having the orgasm to end all orgasms writing this swerving drizzly sh*t!

The Green Teabagger
Did they just Finger Poke of Doom without the Finger Poke of Doom?

wolfchild
TNA... That didn't count as wrestling. Please try again.

RYTMAN
WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO?!?!?

The Green Teabagger
 

wolfchild
Only took an hour and 15 minutes...

RYTMAN
Why are the bp's siding w/J-Whatever the f*ck her name is?

SABUISGOD
Why? Why not? It isnt like any of this clusterf*ck of a crackheads dream of a trainwreck show makes any sense to anyone besides a lobotomized monkey.

The Green Teabagger
Next week...TNA debuts Robbie E.'s tag team partner Mark "The Circumstances" Florentino

TheGreatWhiteDope
Saw film series...probably the only thing equally as convoluted as TNA storylines. Perfect co-promotion

wolfchild
So I switched over to The Daily Show at 10... Who won?   I'm guessing RVD..

The Green Teabagger
Neither.

Bischoff came out and took the ref to the back.

Jeff Hardy ran down and laid both Anderson and RVD with a chair. Next, Hardy trapped Mr. Anderson's arm in the chair. Then, Hardy Twist of Fate'd RVD into the chair while Anderson's arm was trapped in it.

Aaron Wood
So, adding it up in the F4W report, it looks like there was around (but just under) 15 minutes of wrestling in a 2 hour show (and how ever much spilled into Reaction). Russo just about managed his lifelong ambition of doing one with no wrestling in it at all.

  Speaking of TNA, here's the latest induction into our Random and Insane Wrestling Pics Thread, courtesy of Chazlo –

  Before we go, this week, I just want to leave you with one last post on the subject of TNA from Anthony.Analog –

How does Vince Russo continue getting work in the wrestling business? ANY other industry (except for the financial industry) is based on profitability... when the F*CK has Russo, unchecked, EVER turned a profit in the wrestling industry? The answer: NEVER. That's when. When Peter Pan glued his chest to Russo's back with peanut butter and whisked them off to Never F*cking Never Land.

I'm a HUGE fan of a bulk of TNA's roster... I just can't stand how, for the most part, they're used. It pisses me off as a wrestling fan.

Just consider yourself lucky you don't have to review Impact every week, Anthony.   You have no idea just how close I've come to screaming Jim Cornette's sentiments towards Russo in my sleep after this past week's set of programming…

This is just a taste of what you're missing on the Boards. Why don't you come by sometime and check it out for yourself, eh?   You never know when something you post may end up being the next Hot Thread.

http://s14.zetaboards.com/Wrestling_Insanity


*****

Mike Johns, imbued with special, shameless self-promotional powers the likes of which haven't been seen since the height of DX's self-fellatious babyface run in 2006, is a contributor to WorldWrestlingInsanity.com and ClubWWI.com, single-handedly responsible for WWI's coverage of All Things TNA.   In what spare time he has left, Mike produces and records original music under the name 'SaviorSelf.07.05.98' as well as remixes and mash-ups of far more popular songs under the name 'TMJ'.

You can contact Mike via e-mail at MikeJohns@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com

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