Folks, it's that magical last week of the year when entertainment of all media opt to "phone it in" and offer up cheesy "year in review" shows. Since I am cheesy, of a media, and, by my own account, entertaining, I present to you the Championship Profile of the Year 2006.
Raw
WWE Title- John Cena took another step to Hulk Hoganality with a ridiculously cheesy movie to compliment his title reign. Edge and Rob Van
Dam also broke the glass ceiling (broken glass subsequently repaired by DX, pot).
Intercontinental Title- Johnny Nitro made a statement in a year bookended by death defying lunatics: Jeff Hardy and Ric Flair.
Women's Title- First Mickie James is the crazy challenger, now Victoria is the crazy challenger...to Mickie James. Oh yeah, and the Diva's Class of 2000 retired.
World Tag Team Title- Spirit Squad- 'Nuff said.
SmackDown!
World Heavyweight Title- Or is it just World Title? Batista's tricep loses its smile, so Kurt shows up to lose at WrestleMania. Rey gets one win for each foot he is tall as champ, King Booker is Champion of Champions (so totally important), and we're back where we started.
US Title- Benoit wins the title, doesn't do much. Finlay, Lashley, Kennedy each get their first taste of WWE gold. Benoit wins the title again, doesn't do much, again.
Gregory Helms- Oops, I mean Crusierweight Title. Same dif.
WWE Tag Team Title- London and Kendrick fight off Pitbulls: Version Small, and KC James and Idol Stevens (who?)
ECW
World Title- RVD is awarded title, loses it in only defense to Big Show. Showster dominates until losing to Lashley in Elimination Chamber of Horrors. It can't be said WWE writers don't appreciate irony.
TNA
NWA Title- Christian doesn't drop the ball, but musters only a 3 yard gain. Jarrett wins the title again, called for offensive interference. Sting laterals the title to Abyss, but his storyline sucks, no secret.
X-Division Title- Senshi's reign was low key, plus Styles and Daniels stuck in a treadmill, pt. 1.
Tag Team Title- LAX, like Un-Americans, but without the boring part. Plus, Styles and Daniels stuck in a treadmill, pt. 2.
Well, it's been a heck of a year in the wide world of championships. The Tag Titles are still sputtering, and the Cruiserweight Title has been reduced to one man. Plus, ROH got rid of the Pure Title, and the UFC Heavyweight Title has become synonomous with slow, boring fights. Still, all in all, the World Titles were presented in a meaningful manner this year, and as for the midcard titles, well, let's just say there will be plenty of Profiles for years to come.
Well, until The Boogeyman dons some khaki shorts and argyle socks to compete as The Bogey-Man, I am, in fact, James E. Couture.
And my predicition for 2007: Hardcore Holly wins ECW Title, forecast for
Hell: -9 to +4 degrees F.
