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Couture's Championship Profiles: WCW Hardcore Champion Brian Knobbs
Folks, my name ain't baby, it's James, E. Couture if you're nasty. Hey, speaking of "Nasty Boys", oh, you nasty boys, let's do it, to it!
Throughout 1999, several men wrestled for supremacy over WCW's unofficial hardcore division. Sure, Hardcore Hak claimed to be the man, and Fit Finlay won the illustrious Junkyard Battle Royal, but it was, in fact, the man they call Nasty who took out Finrot via a leg injury. Michael is/was retroactively ecstatic. "DAMMIT! Finally, that damn Finlay had already gotten what he hadn't yet deserved!" -Michael Cole, "Cole and Layfield's Bogus Journey", WWE Films, 2006 Then, in the fall of 99, WCW crowned it's inaugural "Hardcore" "Champion". Unfortunately, Brian proved to be a real Knob-jobber, succumbing to the Muhammed Ali of wrestling (except for the Parkinson's), Norman Smiley. "The Big Wiggle, in my opinion, could have eclipsed the Peppermint Twist as the greatest dance craze of all time." -That Guy From RATT, VH1's "I Love The WCW Hardcore Title: Part Trois", 2006 After weeks of intense feuding, probably, the Nasty Knob finally got his shot at redemption. On January 12, 2000, under the tutelage of the returning Finlay, who really likes guys who almost end his career, Knobbs pulled it out, and he pulled it out Hardcore. "The government is always trying to shut down my duck farms. I'm sick and tired that they're always after me ducky farms!" -Finlay, "Shamus Mc'O'Fitzpatrickshire's Guide to Ireland", 2002 Finally, Brian Knobbs had the Hardcore Title he deserved as much as the next guy. Upon winning the title, he played his own Knobbs to Finlay's Saggs in a losing effort to Tag Team Championship Dynasty The Mamalukes. Now, I don't have any tapes of WCW, and I was unable to contact either person who was watching WCW in January 2000. However, records do show that Knobbsy fought Lex Luger to a no-contest on a show. However, when I contacted Mr. Luger and asked whether or not it was a title match, he responded "I DON'T KNOW!", then fell down trying to hang the phone up. I heard him mutter something about the reciever being too small. One guy he DID defend the belt against was WWE Videogame Legend and former holder of 2/3 of one tag title belt, Bam Bam Bigelow. He lost. But it was to be just the beginning for Nasty Knobbs. In addition to carving out his Hardcore legacy, Brian also became a key member of Hulk Hogan's reality show, demonstrating the overwhelming power of the mullet by rocking his "in-ring" look, despite: a) not being able to walk without a cane b) being old and fat(ter) c) nobody has cared what he's done since 1994 Well, until Bobby Brown shows up on SmackDown! to challenge King Booker in an effort to hype his new album, "Freebasing With Fire", I am, in fact, James E. Couture. Happy Pranksgiving and a merry Fishmas! blog comments powered by Disqus
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| All content contained here Copyright 2012 by James Guttman |
