Folks, it's the only L.A. Clippers fan in Maine, me, James E. Couture.  I believe it was former President John Quincy Adams (JQA to you, buddy)who once said, "Screw this introduction crap, let's make fun of some wrestlers!"

The year of Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Nine and 00/00 was a tumultuous one for Al Snow.  After managing to somehow top the success of Leif Cassidy in 1998 by waving a mannequin head around, Al Snow truly "broke though" in 1999, in addition to the requisite partying like it was the current year.  The Hardcore Title matches with the Big Bossman were stuff of legend.  Pierre the one eyed taxidermied deer head was, to this date, the best use of dead animal in wrestling.  And the coup de grace, Wal Mart banned the sale of Al Snow "dolls" for thier obvious encouragement of violence towards women.  I mean, what kind of sick bastard would drag his girlfriend to a wrestling show to watch...Al Snow?  This whirlwind of media attention led to this being called "the year of Al Snow" by some wrestling experts (the stupid ones).

But in 2000, zero-zero, as it would be, the party, for Al Snow, was over.  Oops, out of time.  Teaming up with Steve Blackman some how HURT the career of the Snow Job, as the popularity of their Head Cheese tag team faded faster than Alex Rodriguez in October.  Snow even tried to go all Superstar Billy Graham, not by eating bull testicles like apples to get that sweet, sweet testosterone, but by shunning his charismatic side for plain black pants and a karate-based in ring style, all in an attempt to copy Steve Blackman, a surefire path to success.

"Hey, buddy, when I was shooting up those steroids in 79, I just kept thinking about how much I loved the Lord, and I prayed for him to show me the true path, and I beheld an image, of plain black pants, as it appeared in the French Toast I ordered at IHOP later that day."
-Superstar Billy Graham, "Honey, I Shrunk the Champ" press junket, 2005

Despite Instant Classics with the Headbangers on Jakked, Al Snow was at an impasse.  After Steve Blackman won the Hardcore Championship, what was to become of our beloved Snow Man? Well, for starters, like any good wrestler whose new gimmick flopped, he just went back to being the ol' Head weilding Al Snow like nothing happened.  Then he entered into a feud which would change the landscape of the wrestling world.  After Al Snow came to the rescue of the Kat in her feud with Terri for some reason, Snow drew the ire of Terri's...um, guy, European Champion Perry Saturn.  After losing a title match, earned by pissing off the champ (WWE Rulebook Sec. 2, part (a)), in dubious fashion thanks to some Terri interference, WWE officials gave fans the rematch of the century, even if the century was only just under nine months old.  On August 29, 2000, Allentown Snow and Perrentheses Saturn engaged in one of the greatest matches seen on UPN that quarter hour.  Some thought the European Title reign of Perry Saturn would never end, but one man dared to dream.  In an upset still remembered by some to this day, Snow took that European gold, putting himself in elite company as men who carried a continent on their back.

"Mittens eat ramen noodles crayon walrus wash Darius McCrary.  You're welcome!"
-Punchline from Family Guy....wait, Perry Saturn, "Inside the Actors Studio: Ready To Rumble Edition", 2003

In an attempt to "get noticed", or to show his wackiness, or some reason, Al Snow decided to dress up as a hilarious stereotype each week, regardless of it's relation to Europe, be it a German with a portrait of David Hasselhoff, or a Mexican with a pinata.  Even though I think he dressed up like a French guy once, the world missed out on a French dub of his theme song:   "Qu'est-ce tous le monde desire?  TETE!".  Oh well, a man can dream. Still, this chicanery made the returning/debuting/he showed up not drunk William Regal's blood boil, and so, in a show of true European fighting spirit, sent Sir Albert Snow packing, taking the European Title in what I believe was his first televised match back.  Sadly, the world was to miss out on further stereotype portrayals, like Black Face Al Snow, Hasidic Jew Al Snow, or Boy Loving Ancient Greek Al Snow.  Don't worry though.  When it comes to WWE, where there's a young wrestler willing to do anything to make it big, there's a way.

Well, until the Arizona Cardinals are dubbed the new "America's Team", I am, in fact, James E. Couture.

And I'd just like to share a short Al Snow story with you.  Coming out of the Cumberland County Civic Center, after a riveting show in which Al Snow fought Chris Nowinski in a match so good I went to the bathroom quicker than usual, I saw Al in his car on the way out.  I waved.  Al just stared.  I didn't want his autograph, or a hug, heck, he didn't even have to wave.  Just lift the fingers off the steering wheel to acknowledge my existence.  

But no, I got the stare of death.  Still, how many people can say they've been dissed and dismissed by Al Snow?  How many would want to?