Folks, it's the future World Barbecue Sauce Drinking Champion (two quarts and 4 oz.!), me, James E. Couture. Now, I don't know if you know this about me, but I hail from the great state of Maine, and the only person I can think of that has contributed more to the pantheon of wrestling than me, besides my indy wrestling buddy, FTAM Luke Robinson, is Scotty Too Hotty. So, in honor of his recent 3-week run of SmackDown appearances, it's the profile of Scotty Too Hotty-Light Heavyweight Champion!

Born Scottland Toureaguard Hottelli Taylor-Garland in 1973 in Township 6E, Aroostook County, ME, young Scotty began to learn to wrestle by sparring with bears and Brutal Bob Evans in abandoned lumber mills. Scotty toiled for years on the New England indy circuit before making it to the big time-jobbing in the WWF.

Shockingly, "Scott Taylor", his character of erstwhile loser with no personality, failed to get over. Luckily, and quite surprisingly, ripping off Brian Christopher proved to be a fruitful career move, and not just because they were supposed to marry each other. Too Much, and their gangstafied dopplegangers, Too Cool, shot up the ranks to intermittent-TV-appearance levels. But it was teaming with the original large Samoan, Rikishi, that put the Hot One over the top.

By April 2000, Too Cool's feud with the Fundamentalistz, um, wait, Radicalz had reached epic proportions. With Grandmaster Sexay sidelined with a leg injury, it was up to Scooter Two Hooters to make like a wayward son and carry on.

But this Radical wasn't some pushover like Dean Malenko or Perry Saturn, it was Dean Malenko. The longtime cruiserweight kingpin was reigning supreme as Lightjobberweight Champion, but on April 17, 2000, the blind squirrel found his nuts, hooked a leg off of a Dean Vernon superplex, and scored the 1-2-3.

From there, it was on like a pot birthing towels, as Scotty fended off Taka Mitsubishi and Dean in a triple threat match on Heat. But a scant 10 days later, on April 27th, the other shoe dropped. In a rematch, Dean snatched some ropes and snatched the title. Not only would it be Scotty's last day with singles gold, it would the last match for the Light Heavweight Title on the rockin' red strap. Terry Taylor died a little inside.

Of course, Scotty would go on to outlast Funkmaster Flexay and Riquichey, and, to this day, to the incredibly harsh dismay of cyber-smarks everywhere, draw a paycheck despite owning 2 televised pinfalls (and one of those wasn't even the whole match) since 2004.

Well, until Chris Benoit finishes off MVP with his patented chokeslam, I am, in fact, James E. Couture.

And I can't really diss on Scotty too much, since I do have his autograph....three times.