Hey there everyone!  A-Dub here, as I seem to be called by many.  It's WRESTLE-FREAKIN'-MANIA, BABY!

Wait, what?  It ain't?  But there's a Money In The Bank match tonight...  That's Wrestlemania, right?  What?  What do you mean there's TWO of them and the show is called Money In The Bank?  Ok, fine then.  I believe you.  I really do...

Well, there is also 2 title matches with women and two Heavyweight title matches.  And there's also two teams going for two sets of tag team titles as well.  Lots of "twos" in the ether tonight.  Hopefully, it won't mean that the PPV is a big Number Two.  Yes, words are my bitch.

Now, if you weren't around for the TNA PPV last week (and judging by the news that TNA's PPV numbers have recently hit literal rock bottom and that last week, almost literally no-one used a stream to watch it), you may need to know the new way we're doing PPV Real Times these days.  Rather than me typing out every single little thing, it's going to be more of a "Stream Of Consciousness" type of deal as I react to stuff that happens, so the updates will be far more frequent.  Worked quite well I thought, last week.

Anyway, see you at the top of the hour for the PPV!

Oh yeah, and I should remember to do this.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, JAMES GUTTMAN!  Looking good for a 68 year old.

Here we go!

Home come, with the new idetn, no-one is pissed that HHH doesn't end it anymore?

Opening video asks what you would risk for the shot at glory before showing clips of spots and carnage.

MINDFREAK~!  Can't hear Criss Angel's name without thinking of the Robot Chicken "Harry Potter" bit.

Two ambulances (MORE TWOS) at the entrance.  And three announcers in Lawler, Cole & Striker.

And another two!  THE SAT'S ARE HERE!

And we're kicking off with a ladder match, and the case is a blue one...

Big Show vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. 'Dashing' Cody Rhodes vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Drew McIntyre in a "Blue briefcase.  Blue on the Scotland flag.  Let's hope that's a sign..." Money In The Bank Ladder Match

Kofi Kingston is pulling a Jay Lethal and seemingly paying homage to Hogan tonight with the red and yellow trunks.

Dolph has elbow pads and wrist tape I've never noticed before.

Christian is just Christian.

Cody actually moves a ladder to look in his mirror!

Matt Hardy comes out and climbs just about every ladder currently standing.

Drew seems to be growing out a beard.

Next up is Kane.  Yeah, this is the match he's in.

Big Show is last.  Come to mention it, no mega ladders as of yet for him to climb.

Striker just claimed Swagger is 6'6" tall.  Yeah, and I'm a 38 inch waist.

Everyone takes a giant except for Cody.  Only for Kane and Big Show to cut him off.  Big dude pier-sixer already.  And Big Show wins.  And naturally, when Big Show puts his foot on the ladder, it breaks.  He even rips it apart for good measure.

Big Show goes for his ladder, but everyone gangs up on him, including a nice leaping kick by Cody.

Drew's on his own with a ladder in the ring...  Oh wait, damn.  Here's Matt Hardy.

Hardy is on his own.  Phew.  Here's Christian.

Kofi cuts off Cody.  Dolph cuts off Kofi.  Christian cuts off Dolph.  Just.  Down goes Dolph.  As does Christian as Matt tips the ladder.

Hardy & Triple C counter a double chokeslam with a DDT.

Kane's the meat in a ladder sandwich.

Hardy flapjacked into a ladder on the ropes.

Christian with a short ladder and Cody tips it over and Christian lands on Big Show again.

Cody with a leaping kick.  Trouble In Paradise by Kofi.  Twist Of Fate.  No-one seems to like Kane.

Cody & Matt up top, Drew tips it over and posts the pair of them.

Still with the regular old ladder...

Drew posts Dolph, but Kane pulls him out for a beating.  Kane clears the English announce desk.

Make that both desks.

Chokeslam is blocked, but the big boot isn't.  Drew is laying on the SAT.

Kofi takes out kane and hits the kick to Drew, leaving him laying on the announce desk.

BOOM DROP FROM AN OUTSIDE LADDER TO DREW THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE DESK!

Back in the ring, Dolph is all alone.  But here's Big Show.  Tips the ladder and catches Dolph for a chokeslam!

Down to Big Show and Kane right now.  With ladders.  Big Show back splash into the corner onto a ladder.  Hardy & Christian use a ladder on Big Show, but he powers back on them.  Then hits a big splahs on a ladder squashing the pair of them!

NOW it's time for Big Show's ladder.  It's even been painted gold tonight.  Cole claims the ladder could hold just about everyone in the match at once.  Gonna need help getting it in though...

It's in the ring now, but I fear Big Show gassed himself.  It certainly is a big bugger.  Oh, but Cody takes out the ankle!

Dolph cuts off Cody with an Electric Chair.  Looked like it sucked for Cody.

Dolph is slowly climbing, waiting for SOMEONE to wake up.  Big Show wins the waking race.

Big Show springboards in onto the mega ladder and when approached hits Show with a DDT.

Kofi with a climb, but Cody hits a missile dropkick.

CrossRhodes to Kofi onto a ladder.  Rhodes to climb.  Dolph cuts him off and hit something of a ZigZag back into the ladder.  Ladder didn't budge.

Show back up and he clears the ring so he can climb.

Kane tips the ladder over and EVERYONE (but Drew) dumps every single ladder around on Big Show.

Everyone fighting for position.  Kane takes out everyone.  Dolph back in and he climbs OVER Kane, but Kane stops him.  Dolph puts on the sleeper on the ladder!

Kane head rams Dolph to break that and then dumps him on the ladder pile with Show under it.

Kofi is chokeslammed onto the ladder pile.  Cody tries to run away, but Kane lawn-darts him into one of the trucks that I thought were ambulances.

Back in the ring Christian and Matt cut Kane off with a powerbomb between them.

Christian and Hardy meet up top the mega ladder.  they have a fight, but take each other out badly.

AND HERE COMES DREW!

But here comes Kane...  Chokeslam of sorts to the ring.  Kane gets the case!

WINNER:  KANE

As I suspected, this was more a "power" ladder match.  I expect RAW's match to be the one with more acrobatics.  Still a real good match though here.

Sheamus is with Josh Matthews.  He's asked about Monday and helping Cena.  Sheamus said he smiled at Nexus's random attacks, and he believed he was untouchable.  Until last Monday.  But they're a threat to everyone and he chose his side.  Doesn't have respect for Cena though, because he didn't get any.  So let's see what respect he gets from Cena when he beats him up later.

Over all this I can hear production chatter.  Hopefully you all did.  Either that or I need to make both an electrician's (bathroom wiring) and psychiatrists appointment tomorrow.

Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres in a "Any bets on how wild and uncontrolled will any Axe Kick from Fox be tonight?" match for the WWE Divas Title

Lengthy collar-and-elbow to start.  Eve wins in the end.

Couple of nice pins by Eve.  And on Eve.

By which I mean her legs.

Alicia is working over the lower back.  Good thing Eve is bendy.

Sweet tilt-a-whirl backbreaker picks up 2 for Alicia.

Did the crowd all leave or something?

So Eve's back pain is such that she can't do a suplex, but can hit a standing moonsault?

Somersault senton by Eve meets knees.  I'm pretty amazed she went for that.

Axe kick ends it.

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION:  ALICIA FOX

RAW's Michael Cole sends it to a Smackdown recap of Kane taking out Daddy Swagger.

Speaking of Michael Cole for a second, is it true that further to the rumours of JR being taken out the ident because he was at the UFC show, was Gorilla Monsoon taken out because he went to the Strikeforce show where Fedor lost?

Swagger's in the back and on the phone with mommy.  She's not happy, apparently.  I never spoke to my mother like that.  Swagger says daddy was always living through Jackie boy.  And Friday night was daddy's idea.  Trying to steal his spotlight as usual.  Shouting at your mother and throwing your father under the bus.  What a bad son.

The Hart Dynasty vs. The Usos in a "Now that you come to mention it, what happened to the champions appearing on all the shows?" match for the Unified Tag Team Titles

Boy, Natalya has the twins holstered up tonight.  Tamina, not so much.

THE REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG with the early advantage.

Only to then get man-handled like a guy who calls himself Canadian Bulldog, but only writes about wrestling.

Striker says the Usos have their thumb taped, but somehow can't mention Umaga's name.

Tyson gets the hot tag.  Goes buck on Jay Uso.

Lovely 3 Minute Warning-seque doubel team by the Usos on Kidd.

Jimmy's Superfly splash meets knees.  Second hot tag to DH Smith.

Smith gets distracted when going for the Sharpshooter.  Nattie deals with Tamina and he locks it in for the win.

WINNERS & STILL CHAMPIONS:  THE HART DYNASTY

Fine match there.  It would be nice if the Samoans didn't telegraph all the classic Samoan spots.  It was only missing something by Umaga as Umaga, even with the 3MW toss and drop.  Fine match though.  Now, how about a feud with the Dudebusters?

Mindfreak commercial.  Again, can't think of anyhting but Robot Chicken.

They thanks the band who do the night's song before sending it to a hype video for the next match...

Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger in a "Well, if Swagger wins this, I fully expect a Big Red Cash-in..." match for the World Heavyweight Title

Not really apropos, but I just remembered that Drew McIntyre promised personal refunds if the show sucked, or something like that.  Or if the RAW ladder match was better.  Either way, it'll be difficult to get the money back.

Accordng to Cole, The Staples Center is the "Home Of Summerslam".  It was at least there last year.  It's the Anti-Wrestlemania like that.  It goes nowhere.

Main event intros for the middle match on the show.  Well, why not.  They clearly have time to kill.

Guess what Swagger is going for right away.  Sometimes this stuff does write itself.

Gotta love how Rey limps, but then kicks Swagger and then hits a springboard back in.

Seated Senton to Swagger on the outside.  Not the best idea Rey ever had.

Swagger pulls another trick out of the Angle playbook by popping up and tossing Mysterio off the top turnbuckle.

Hang on, did Kofi kill the Spanish Announcers?  Sure, they lost their table, they've disappeared entirely!  Come to mention it, that has to be the shortest ever time it's managed to last.

Don't know what that botched spot was supposed to be, but it ended fortunately with Swagger in a perfect pin position.

Striker just spoke to me personally by talking about folks who have gone over on their ankle.  Mine still kinda hurts.

As Swagger steals from Angle, Rey is stealing from RVD as he hits a Split Legged Moonsault for two.

Gutwrench Powerbomb, but Rey puts a leg on the ropes.  Swagger even hooked the wrong leg that clearly allowed Rey to do it.  A bit of a "fake" moment.

WOW!  Swagger teased a powerslam from the second rope, but Rey turned it into a DDT in mid air.  Only picked up a 2 count though.

619 by Rey.  But the West Coast Pop is turned into an ankle lock.  But Rey makes the ropes.  But there's a Vader Bomb.  And a second.

Rey has undone his boot.  And yes, he pulled an Eddie in that he slipped out and hit a hurricanrana for the pin!

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION:  REY MYSTERIO

Is Rey ever going to let the Eddie tributes lie?

Attack by Swagger afterwards.  Ankle lock.  Kane makes the save and goes after Swagger, oddly enough.  Doesn't look like he's cashing it in tonight, since he clubs Swagger to the back.

Whoops.  Spoke too soon.  Kane's back and has his case and a referee with him...

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio in a "Well, didn't matter who won then.  Big Red Cashing In anyway..." match for the World Heavyweight Title

Kane rams the knee of the canvas and chokeslams him.  And here's a Tombstone.

WINNER & NEW CHAMPION:  KANE

Beats Swagger's record of shortest time spent holding the case.

Looking at the replay, that may have been the safest piledriver since Linda McMahon's.

Backstage, Edge is watching when Jericho comes up from behind.  Edge promises to pull a Kane.  Jericho reminds him he created the match.  Jericho promises to cash in tonight.  That promise worked well for Matt Hardy.  Jericho promises Edge that the worst is yet to come.

Layla vs. Kelly Kelly in a "Lemme guess.  Michelle costs Kelly the match..." match for the WWE Women's Title

Wow, the girls have been sent out in complete death spots tonight...

Blondtourage in full force, as Tiffany is with us.

It seems as if, according to the announcers, Michelle has a tramp stamp that says Flawless.  Not confirmed, but it sounds like it.  Christ almighty...

Finlay must be the agent for this match.  Layla just trapped Kelly's leg in the ring apron.

It's not a tattoo on Michelle, but more like a sparkly "henna" type thing.  And it's not so much a tramp stamp than somehting going down her spine.

And Michelle gets sent backwards into the first row by Kelly as she was taunting Mike Knox's ex-stripper ex.

Kelly hit the K2, but Layla's leg was on the ropes.

Blondtourage take out Michelle again, but Layla blocks a sunset flip and sits down on it for the win.

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION:  LAYLA

I don't say this enough, but I can't help but laugh at Striker's English accent.

Kelly's teeth are way too white.

A "Don't Try This" spot.  Could swear that's new as well.  And no, JR isn't in this either.

Cole sends it to a recap of the opening ladder match, since the RAW match is next.  Boom Drop.  Ladder pile.  Kane kills dudes.  Kane wins.

Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho vs. Ted DiBiase in a "How come Mark Henry doesn't get his own special reinforced ladder?" Money In The Bank Ladder Match

Hey, the lyrics to Orton's entrance theme sound rather like the promo Edge cut last week.  Anyone else notice that at all???

Cole says again that Miz is his dark horse.  Way to hedge your bets there, Shoelace.

DiBiase has Maryse with him.  God forbid she gets involved.  She only gets pass marks as a regular wrestler.

If Morrison slow climbs, is he just doing his entrance again?

Is Jericho heading for a Downfall?

Bourne is next out.  I don't actually have a joke here.

Edge is last.  And not a single person walked under a ladder.  It's at times like this I miss Jeff Hardy so he can walk under the ladder like a dick, so I can then point out that he looks like a dick.

Edge puts a ladder in the ring, but then ducks out at the bell.  This confuses EVERYONE else, not really knowing what to do.  They then just start fighting.

While no-one else is look, Edge sneaks back in, but Orotn cuts him off and pounds on him outside.  DiBiase and Morrison fight, and ted hits the mis-direction clothesline to Morrison, who lands on the ladder.

Orton gets hit by DiBiase with a ladder.  Yes, on the shoulder.  That will be that buggered again then...

The team I once called Mizicho fight until Mark Henry tosses a ladder into them and then kills The Miz in the ropes.  But Jericho puts a ladder in Henry's face.

Evan Bourne starts the wacky constrauction by putting a ladder out of position.  However, he cuts off Jericho's attack and decides to climb.  Edge catches him, but Evan hits a headscissors to take him out.  Randy then cuts Evan off.

Elevated DDT to Bourne by Orton THROUGH THE LADDER.

Flying Chuck to Orton, and JoMo fell into the ladder.

Miz cuts off a Morrison suplex onto a ladder and TD2 and Miz work him over.

Morrison stops himself being run into a ladder and drops Miz & Ted face first into one set up in the corner.

Morrison climbs out of position as Edge catches him.  Jericho bring in a regular ladder.  And Orton catches him.  Mark Henry then tips over BOTH ladders in one go.

Oh Christ, Maryse is the last one standing, and she's got in the ring!  She sets up a regular ladder, so she had no shot.  But John Morrison catches up to her, and MUST have a nice upskirt view.

As JoMo is distracted by Maryse, Ted climb, but Morrison cuts him off.

Miz has set up a ladder up against the ring post while Edhe is in the ring.

WOW!  Miz catapults Morrison into the ladder.  He catches himself, vaults from the corner using another ladder onto the ladder that Edge is on.  Awesome spot!!!

However, Morrison is now stuck in the ladder vy Edge's hand.  Edge & Miz ram a ladder into the ABS~!, but Edge turns on Miz with a face shot before tossing the ladder with Morrison in it over.

Edge take a ladder shot to the gut from DiBiase.  Another wacky construct as Ted opens a ladder up upside down and then sets another ladder up against that.

Henry cuts off Ted and hits a World's Strongest Slam.

Jericho comes in with a midget ladder, but is dropped by Henry, who then slams Miz onto them.

Bourne rides Henry up the ladder, but Edge and Orton cut them off, lawn darting Bourne onto Henry, who hits a World's Strongest Slam to Evan on the outside.

Bunch of finishers by Morrison, Jericho and Edge on Henry, so he's out as well.

Miz, Morrison, Orton, Edge and Jericho are in the mix on the contruct.  DiBiase adds a ladder and pulls Miz onto it before he climbs onto it as a bridge.  Edge and Orton pull him flat and then toss the ladder out of the ring.

RKO to Edge!

Down to Jericho & Morrison.  Morrison clips the fingers and Jericho is stuck, but Oton is up again.  RKO to Morrison.  AIR BOURNE TO ORTON!

Evan Bourne is climbing with a stuck Jericho on the other side!

Bourne is SO VERY CLOSE and tried to unhook it, but Jericho managed to knock Bourne down hard.

Edge is back in it, and we have a fight at the top between the Canucks.

Jericho decides to get down, right into an RKO!  Orton also takes out Edge!  Onto the ladder setup!  Orton's close, but Miz tiops the ladder over!

MIZ GETS IT!!!

WINNER:  MIKE "THE MIZ" MIZANIN!

Awesome match.  These two ladder matches more than delivered.

Miz asks for a microphone.  We are all living in his moment.  Call it what you want, him winng the case he MADE IT!  HE MADE IT!  He made believers out of everyone who doubted him.  Take a good look at him.  He's Mr. MITB and future WWE Champion!  Because he's The Miz and He's Awesome.

Yeah, he's so losing the title shot whenever that may be.

I should note that the crowd REALLY wanted Orton to win.

Mindfreak bit again.  I'm caring even less.  I couldn't care less to start with.

Summerslam advert.  The Nexus are actively advertised.  As is The Undertaker.  Way to give that one way you fools...  Especially if he's more on the wrong side of the  reported "Touch And Go" status for August.

Hype video for the main.  They pretty much guarunteed Nexus involvement, if they didn't already.

Sheamus vs. John Cena in a "The cage will be there to keep people out.  Let's see how effective that is when Nexus make their inevitable appearance..." Steel Cage match for the WWE Heavyweight Title

Pin, submission or escape to win this one.

Currently trending in the UK:
World Heavyweight
Kane
#moviesthatnevergetold
#mitb
Layla
Inception
Kelly Kelly
WWE
Josie

And Mike Johns said that Cody Rhodes was also way up there earlier.  Might be because we're getting this show "for free", in that it's not true PPV.

The door gets full padlocking treatment.  Not that handy for escape purposes.

Now that you come to mention it, there's a lot of Cena fans in front of the hard camera.

Just a fairly standard brawl-type of cage match so far.  Sheamus on top.  Indeed, nice inverted DDT into a backbreaker.

Sheamus on a climb, but Cena's fairly quick in cutting him off.  Fist fight on the top rope.  They walk into the corner, where Cena hits a superplex.  Picks up a 2 count off that.

Striker takes the tourble to name a couple of Sheamus's moves and Lawler blows them off.  I bet it's because it's purely so he doesn't have to remember them.  You know, because he's been said to do no prep for a show.

Sheamus with a sleeper...

Cena tries to escape, but Sheamus keeps it on and puts on a bodyscissors as well.  And Cena's nowhere near the them ropes.

But hey, this is Cena.  He powers up with Sheamus on his back...

But as Cole reminds us, the ropes don't break the hold since it's nominally No DQ.

So Cena starts climbing the turnbuckles with SHEAMUS ON HIS BACK. 

Sheamus slips off and chop blocks the leg out to pick up a 2 count.

Has to be said, this is the quietest crowd I've heard for a Cena match in a while.  Some periods they are silent.  That said, they're probably about spent and some will just be waiting for Nexus.

Cena building a comeback, but Attitude Adjustment is countered by Sheamus grabbing the cage and starting a climb.

Cena wins the fight, but Cena elects to hit a super five knuckle shuffle off the top.  However, it misses!

Cena also has a small cut above his nose.  I think they'll let this blood slide.

Corwd are waking up with a loud dueling chant.

Sheamus ties Cena up in the ropes.  But decides to lay in shots rather than leave and win.

Sheamus decides to climb OVER Cena.  But Cena is out of the ropes and cuts the Irishman off.  Bulldog off the top by Cena.  Picks up 2.

Attitude Adjusment is coutnered with a Fiery Red Hand that Cole says is called The Irish Curse.  That's a fiar shout since Sheamus no longer tapes his wrist with red tape (hence the red part)...

Cole calls the pump kick "The Brogue Kick".  Still only scores a 2 count for Sheamus whatever it's called these days.

Sheamus decides not to climb and calls for the Crucifix Powerbomb.  Cena turns it into an Attitude Adjustment for a close 2 count however!

And here come the Nexus... with added bolt cutters!

One of the ref's take the boltt cutters and runs away.  They demand the keys from Jack Doan.  He tosses them into the upper tier.

In the ring, Cena pushes Sheamus into the cage, but he runs in Charles Robinson.  Sheamus taps, but Lil' Naitch is OUT~!

Cean goes for a climb, and Justin Gabriel meets him up there.  Cena shoves him into the ring.  Tarver and Young cut Cena off.  Sheamus climbs, and Slater fails to cut him off.  Sheamus drops down and runs for his life.

WINNER & STILL WWE CHAMPION:  SHEAMUS

Nexus have cost Cena the title again.

Cena is boiling inside.  He's gonna have to choke a bitch.  And that bitch is Darren Young by the looks of it.  He's the closest one to hand.

Oh wait, Tarver is getting up.  STIFF clothesline for Tarver.

Cena takes the steel steps and tosses them into Tarver   Cena yells that he told them he'd take them out.

Cena takes a Nexus armband before leaving as the show ends.

Confusing cluster of an ending aside.  HELLUVA show tonight.  The matches that had to deliver did, and we got the immediate surprise of Kane winning the title and Miz winning his case.  Really good stuff.



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