Hey everybody! Just about half an hour to go until the biggest PPV of the year that isn't entitled Wrestlemania so far! Suffice to say, every smart fan running their yap (myself included) seems to have a different idea of how this is going to go down, and even then, most give they won't be happy about it anyway.
To lock down my prediction, I'm going to say that Del Rio is withdrawn from MITB and replaced by Dolph Ziggler via either him protesting about having to take part when he has a title shot or him not having shown up to the building. Then at the end of the night, Del Rio does turn up, says he had a title shot for this show, and that's exactly what he getting, making that the way to have Punk win only to get hosed out of it. I would "Montreal" Punk with him in the armbar, as it would put MASSIVE heat on Del Rio and it's very much within Vince's character motivation to do so, to guarantee that Punk doesn't leave with the belt. Suffice to say, no MITB briefcase need be involved tonight. And having people cash in on this night just kills the gimmick. Especially if they do the utterly retarded idea of having both MITB forced to cash in on Punk, with Punk winning one and losing the other. Because that's that gem of a storyline gone for a whole year.
People will complain if Cena somehow (and pretty much no matter how) wins the match. I'll complain if they kill the point of the PPV.
Anyway, see you at the top of the hour!
HERE WE GO MOFOS!!!
Tick tock...Tick tock...
Our opening video is, naturally all about the Punker. A version of the promo video from this week's Post-RAW TV. Videos pushes hard the notion of Punk's contract being up at midnight.
I love that clip in the video that shows Vince & Cena getting along. Didn't Vince then call Cena a "n****r" seconds later?
Skittles are sponsoring a show and yet, there's no JR?!?!?!
Cole & Lawler open up the show with introductions alongside Booker T. And there's the Spanish announcers as well. Poor bastards.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Kane in an "I repeat...why is Heath Slater in this match???" Money In The Bank Ladder match Yep, the Smackdown match is opening the show. The later the RAW match is in the show, the less likely it'll be that ADR wins and cashes in with the case later.
Sin Cara is first out, and he's in more traditional Mistico colours tonight.
They point out Cody is in his second MITB match and Kane his FIFTH. The rest are popping their cherries.
It's a mass brawl to start but we finish with Sheamus, Wade & Kane in the ring. And soon Kane's the only one left as he clotheslines the other two out.
First ladder is gotten by Kane, but DanBry dropkicks the ladder. Then Slater & Gabriel dropkick the ladder into Bryan. They take out Sin Cara, but Slater then wins their battle. Gabriel comes back and kicks Slater down before hopping the ladder clooser to the middle until Bryan missile dropkicks him.
Cody takes Bryan out and then gets out the High Cross. Cody's Pale Justice hits Slater and Sheamus takes out Cody. Kane back in and he pushes them out, only for Wade to come in.
Kane reverses a whip sending Wade into a ladder in the corner before tossing the ladder out.
Kane takes out Slater and heads up, but Sin Cara kicks him and Gabriel takes Cara out. Bryan comes in but then elects to dive out oonto Wade at ringside. Gabriel with a plancha on Kane, Slater with a corckscrew plancha on Cody and then Sin Cara takes out Sheamus.
Sin Cara starts taking dudes out and then hits the Spanish Fly on Daniel Bryan. And then he starts pointing.
Sin Cara gets himself a big ladder, but Wade gives him a boot to the face/ He takes the top of the Spanish table and sets up a bridge between the table and ring. He then charges Sin Cara, but misses and hits ringpost.
Back in the ring, Sin Cara is blindsided with a Brogue Kick. They head to the apron and the ladder bridge. Sheamus hits Sin Cara with a powerbomb THROUGH the ladder. That bugger broke in two.
Match essentially stops as they wheel Sin Cara out of there and Sheamus walks around with a ladder. Kane joins him in the ring and takes Sheamus back outside, slamming a ladder onto him.
In the ring again and Rhodes, Kane & Bryan have ladders. And as it goes, Cody & Bryan go after Kane before fighting it out between themselves, allowing Kane to come back and take them out.
Sin Cara may actually be dead the way they're rushing him to the back.
Kane with the first proper climb of the night, but the former Corre work together to take Kane down. Cody tries to sneak in, but The Corre then take him out. Daniel Bryan tries climbing and it's a Corre beatdown.
The Corre realise what the situation is and Wade automatically assumes he's the leader again and starts calling shots. And they comply. For about 3 seconds. They pull Barrett off the ladder and lay a beating on Wade.
And now the race is on between Justin & Heath. However, Rhodes tips the ladder over, dropping them on the top rope. Cross Rhodes to Slater, but as Cody climbs, Wade comes back. Cross Rhodes to Barrett. Sheamus cuts him off next, and he's the victor as he hits the Irish Curse.
It's now Sheamus & Bryan on the ladder. Head rams for Sheamus sees him get the lead on the ladder. Sheamus puts Bryan on his shoulders as Kane hits the flying clothesline on Bryan. THE OLD LOD FINISHER! IN CHICAGO! That draws the LOD chant...
Some ladder building now as Sheamus takes an open ladder and uses another as a bridge into a corner. Kane downs him and then chokeslams Cody. And one for Gabriel as well.
Kane goes for another climb, but DanBry cuts Kane off. He looked for the Lebell Lock on the ladder but that failed. However, while Kane caught the crossbody, Bryan turned it into a DDT.
Slater climbs, and again Bryan's there to cut him off too. Slater gives him a neckbreaker from half way up the ladder. Slater goes for it again, but Wade cuts him off and pounds away in the corner. Slater comes back and goes up, but gets crotched. Sheamus comes back in, but Wade downs him too before getting another ladder in the ring.
Wade & Sheamus PICK SLATER UP WITH THE END OF THE LADDER AND DUMP HIM ON KANE. Brogue Kicks for Wade & Cody. Polish Hammer for Gabriel.
Sheamus sets a ladder up in the corner across the top turnbuckle before adjusting the in-ring bridge. Sheamus gives Gabriel Snake Eyes on the corner ladder and a Brogue Kick.
Sheamus goes for a climb, but Kane cuts him off as he had a hand on it. Kane grabsSheamus and chokeslams him on the ladder bridge! And that one didn't bend. Ouch.
Kane climbs but Cody, Bryan and Wade work him over. Beautiful Disaster. Wasteland. Gabriel gets on the corner ladder and HITS THE 450 IN A REALLY TIGHT SPACE!!! That bastard on ON A DIME.
Gabriel's reward is getting dumped onto Slater. Wade takes out Bryan then Cody. He climbs up, but Cody manages to pull him down and clothesline him out.
Bryan climbs up again, and Cody cuts him off. They get up to the top of the ladder. Bryan locks a guillotine on Cody! Wade climbs up behind then and goes for the case. Bryan stops him.
They tease Wasteland onto the bridge, but Bryan escapes and hits a head kick.
DANIEL BRYAN WINS!!!!!
DANIEL BRYAN WINS!!!!!
DANIEL BRYAN WINS!!!!!
DANIEL BRYAN WINS!!!!!
DANIEL BRYAN WINS!!!!!
DANIEL BRYAN WINS!!!!!
WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN!!!!
That was a great match and brilliant opener. My only query is why take out Sin Cara like that. Seemed like this would be his sort of match and he's the office boy.
We look a shot of Vince's arrival at the building, alongside John Laurenitis and a lawyer. They're apparently in a meeting with Punk this very moment.
Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella in an "It is Brie Bella right? Hard to tell..." match for the Divas Title
Boy, they've been sent out to die...
Kelly comes out with Eve.
Kelly takes it to Brie before Bella escapes out. So Kelly dives off the apron onto the pair of them. However, as Kelly was handstanding on the apron after a in-rope submission, Brie pushed her face first to the floor. Bella locked on a bodyscissors inside the ring, aiming to work on Kelly's mid-section.
Kelly gets out of an abdominal stretch and starts a comeback. Neckbreaker picks up 2. The K2 is blocked, but Kelly blocked a backslide planting Brie for a 2 count. Brie trips Kelly and gives her leg a DDT for a 2 count. Kelly soon hits the K2 for the win.
WINNER & STILL CHAMPION: KELLY KELLY
Summerslam advert featuring a bunch of people surfing and other various Californian stuff to start with before the usual montage of faces.
Hype video for the next match, which is...
Big Show vs. Mark Henry in a "To think, this would have sucked massive balls 12 years ago..." match
And these dudes are throwing bomb early. Big Show with a running jumping shoulder tackle that sends Henry out of the ring. On the outside, Show hit a clothesline.
The Spanish announcers are very scared right now. They fight by their desk, but Show shoves Henry back into the steel steps. Henry dropkicks the steps into Big Show's knees. Back in the ring and Henry chop blocks the leg to take him down and boots him in the head.
Henry rams the leg into the canvas before locking on a Single Leg Boston Crab. Big Show crawls over and reaches the ropes, but is kicked back by Show as Henry came back in.
Henry retook control and splashed Show in the corner. He blocked a second charge and went for the middle rope for another shoulder tackle. But Show went right to his leg on landing. He was first up and wanted the Chokeslam, but Henry kicked ouf the leg and hit the World' Strongest Slam. It only picked up a 2 count however!
Henry tried to pick up Show, but he was deadweight. Henry hulked up and hit it again. He then hit a pair of World's Strongest Splashes for the emphatic three count.
WINNER: MARK HENRY
That was a win that signalls that he's going to be the next challenger for the title. It was that one-sided in the end.
Post-match, Henry grabbed himself a chair and put it around Big Show's leg. He went to the middle rope and gave the chaired-leg a Vader Bomb. That had to suck. And Big Show's ankle is gone.
We did the whole golf cart deal. The crowd showed concern for Show by chanting "CM Punk!"
We went backstage to Vince & Johnny Ace. Josh Mathews came in the room. Did Punk re-sign? The answer is no. Vince said Punk was the biggest ingrate he's ever met. He offer Punk the biggest contract EVER and got turned down. He should not be blamed for Punk's leaving. When pressed on what Punk said, Vince said Punk pointed to the door and told Vince to get out. He said that to the Chairman. Vince then said Cena was the reason they had this problem. He insisted it was what the fans wanted, so it was on Cena. Vince said if CM Punk wins the building with the Title, may have God have mercy on Cena's soul.
R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Evan Bourne vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio in a "Will we be seeing one of these guys later on???" Money In The Bank Ladder match
You think the MITB guy is cashing in with a match this late in the show? Punk better damn near dead if they do.
Alberto Del Rio is first out (still no Ricardo Rodriguez) and he's pumped up for the match. So there goes the "Gets out of it" part of my theory. Del Rio get s a ladder and brings it in the ring, so Kofi decided to some in armed as well. Swagger decides to join the ladder party, bringing one with him.
Evan Bourne then grabs a rather small ladder arm himself with. R-Truth came out and grabbed an even smaller ladder to arm himself. Riley is next out and is the same with the ladder deal. Miz takes himself a ladder too. I think this may be deliberate. And Rey is last out. There's almost no ladders in the aisle left, but there is one.
Cole points out this is Rey's first MITB match. That is kinda crazy.
Everyone and their ladders go for Del Rio to start with, sending him out. And then they all dump their ladders onto him. Miz sends Rey out to join him. Riley takes out Swagger, but then someone takes him out off camera as we're left with Miz & Truth with mini-ladders.
As Swagger took them out and tried to set up a small ladder, Bourne & Kofi climbed up the sides of it and had a fight. As they fought for possession, Rey jumped on the ladder and gave Swagger a headscissors out.
Riley climbed up a small ladder for some reason, but Miz cut him off. Riley took him out. before Swagger pulled the ladder out the ring. However, Riley dove out onto Swagger & Miz. R-Truth then followed with a dive of his own. Kingston & Rey then hit stereo dives onto them. Evan then climbed up a HUGE ladder and hit a Kidman-like Shooting Star Press onto the whole lot of them!!!
Bourne was the only one left and he grabbed a big ladder and climbed up, but as he got a hand on it. Miz cut him off. However, as they fought for the case, Del Rio appeared again and pushed the ladder over.
Miz's knee may be blown. That wasn't the world's greatest landing for him. Actually you can see that it's totally fucked. Many audibles to be called now me thinks.
In the meantime, Evan and Bourne were up top, but as they were cut off by Del Rio and Truth, the small guys hit stereo headscissors. Swagger took out Rey, but Kofi lepaforgged OVER Swagger onto the ladder. Swagger grabbed the ankle, as Alex Riley climbed up. Swagger realised and cut him off. Truth pushed over the ladder to break them up before setting up a ladder in the corner.
Rey ended up sandwiched between the ladder and corner, but as Truth mounted him, Kofi got on the ladder and hit the Boom Drop to R-Truth.
Del Rio charged Kofi while at a ladder, but Kofi avoided him and Del Rio spilled out. However, Rey used the ladder to hit a 619 on Kingston as he was inside it. Truth then sent a ladder into Swagger's face before Rey hit a 619 on him.
Rey set up a ladder and climbed up. Riley met him up top, and so too did Evan Bourne.
Swagger and Bourne got more ladders and set them up. Del Rio took out Swagger and took his ladder. It's ladder central as EVERYONE is on some sort of ladder and they're all pawing at the case.
Del Rio is pushed down first. Swagger is next. Bourne gets dropped right to the floor. Riley is downed next, followed by Truth. And Rey is nexy. Kofi is all alone, but at the literal last second Swagger cut him off, leading to the pair of them spilling down.
THE MIZ IS BACK!!! He hops down to the ring, but Rey cuts him off TO MASSIVE BOOS. Rey gives him a sunset flip powerbomb, and now Rey is last man standing.
Rey heads up, but Del Rio is back again. He climbs up the other side as Rey has hands on it. Rey hits Alberto in the head with it.
ALBERTO UNMASKS REY REY!!!
In the chaos, Del Rio falls down. He resets the ladder and grans the briefcase!
WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO!
And so, I guess we'll be seeing Del Rio in about 75 minutes time... Something interesting to note right now. The crowd LOVED Del Rio and his win. I wonder what the reaction will be if he hoses Punk by the end of the night.
Yeah right, as if Cena & Punk was next. Hype video for Orton & Christian.
Randy Orton vs. Christian in a "Remember when you wished these two could wrestle forever...yeah..." match for the World Title
Actually, scratch that. After the hype video, we cut to Del Rio who was with Josh Mathews. He said CM Punk didn't matter. He said the case wasn't his destiny, but it was to be WWE Champion.
Randy Orton vs. Christian in a "Remember when you wished these two could wrestle forever...yeah..." match for the World Title (For real this time...)
Since we have PPV time to kill, each man gets a pretty long entrance and then they do the introductions.
Christian bails out the ring at the bell and gets himself a chair, and slides it to Orton. Orton picks it up and while Christian offers a few shot, Orton dumps the chair out. But he did then drop Triple C with a right hand.
Orton in contorl early, and even though Orton found himself outside, he slid in the ring and avoided Christian plancha out. Orton missed a knee lift in the ropes however, and Christian hit the flying back elbow for a 2 count.
Christian slugs Orton into the ropes and does some choking before vaulting over for the uppercut from the outside. That picked up a 2 count, before wrenching at the neck of Orton.
Orton avoided a corner charge and awesomely rolled up Christian for a 2 count, but Christian hit a spinebuster for a 2 count himself. Killswitch was attempted, but Orton blocked it. Christian flipped out of a back suplex before they both tumbled out of the ring.
Back in, Christian headed up, but as Christian jumped over Orton, Randy looked for the RKO. Christian out of the other corner was caught and Randy jacknifed him for another 2 count. A Thesz Press was followed by an attempt at the Elevated DDT. Christian jumped out of the corner with something, but Orotn countered wiht a dropkick for a 2 count.
Christian ducked out and caught Orton on the ropes. Christian headed up again, but Orton cut him off. They fought in the corner, but Orton was knocked down and Christian hit the diving headbutt for a 2 count.
RKO was blocked again, but Orton hit a pair of clotheslines before Orton's RKO was avoided again. Killswitch engaged! 2.9999999 count! Christian loses it for a few moments before setting for the spear. Orton got up, but leapfrogged over it and hit a powerbomb into a neckbreaker deal for a 2 count.
Christian, on all fours, went for the punt, but while Christian got up, he was hit with the snap powerslam. The Elevated DDT followed and Orton wanted the RKO. Christian telegraphed it and begged off. Orton went over to Christian who spat in his face.
Orton went nuts on Christian and then kicked him in the balls. DQ!
WINNER BY DQ AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: CHRISTIAN!
Orton loses it and destorys Christian at the Spanish table. He takes out Christian with a monitor headshot, leaving him laying across the desk. Teddy Long and referees try to calm Orton down, but it's an RKO onto the announce desk. Table didn't break. The Spanish are indeed blessed this night...
Orton goes to leave, but then just loses his shit and gives Christian another RKO on the announce desk. Again, no breaking of table. the crowd, who weren't particularly Pro-Orton are now calling "ONE MORE TIME!"
We see replays of the spitting. It was a fair old dart.
Skittles advert. Not brilliantly funny.
Summerslam advert from earlier. You know. In case you tuned out of the PPV and missed it.
Hype video for our one remaining match...
John Cena vs. CM Punk in an "And I'd imagine a pretty quick match afterwards..." match for the WWE Title
Punk is out first. HE HAS A NEW T-SHIRT to commerate the night and has shaven the moustache tonight for the LOUD crowd, milking them for every last little bit of energy they have. Punk's aattire also reflects the Chicago state flag. ONly thing I've ever seen comparable is the ECW ONS match with Cena & RVD in front of the ECW crowd.
Cena makes a beeline for the ring with zero histrionics at all, almost in the style of that One Night Stand match.
As Cena enters, Punk goes and stand beside his friends. Namely Colt Cabana.
And here we go.
We start off with some chain wrestling, as Cole notes this was the building Cena made his debut in. Punk misses a high kick after getting out of a chinlock.
Punk surprised Cena with an Anaconda Vice attempt, but Cena escaped quick and took the arm himself. Cena back in his feet, hits a shoulder block. Thing go back and forth a bit, before Punk grabs a side headlock take over.
Cole directly talks about Montreal. I gve up on figuring if this is foreshadowing or if that now means it's off the table as a finish.
They each teased the AA/GTS, but it ended in a stalemate.
Cena reverses a whip into the corner and hits a bulldog before grabbing a front headlock. Punk fights out of it, but is hit with a hard clothesline. Cena puts on a chinlock using his legs to trap an arm as well.
Punk back suplexes out of the hold for a 2 count. Cena with the Protoplex picks up a 2 count for him. Cena wanted the AA again, but Punk slipped out and planted Cena with a DDT. That picked up a 2 count before he locked on a headscissors submission.
Cena powered up with Punk on his shoulders, but Punk elbowed out and dumped Cena to the outside. He slaps hands with Colt Cabana. They don't name-check him. Draws a chant though.
Punk sets up Cena on the apron and comes off the middle rope dropping a knee to the back of Cena's neck. This only picks up a 2 count however.
However, Cena avoided a corner charge and Punk hit the corner. A STF attempt was kicked off. Punk locked on a chinlock. A dueling Cena chant gets going as Cena fires out of the hold. Punk hit a moonsault press (sort of) for a 2 count. Watch Cena get blamed for the botch since he's facing "God". However, as they recovered they fight for a suplex on the apron. and Cena wins the battle, sending Punk crashing to the floor.
Back in, it picked up a 2 count. He then hit a suplex and dropped an elbow for a 2 count. Cena picked Punk up and despite Punk slipping out, he grabbed Punk again and slammed him down for a 2 count.
We get a slugfest going. Punk seems to win the fist fight, but Cena caught Punk with an abdominal stretch. Punk raked the eyes to break it up, but they then took each other out. They got up and Cena built momentum, but Punk slipped behind and rolled Cena up for 2. Cena hits the Protobomb and the most unpoopular Five Knuckle Shuffle of all time is called for.
However, Punk punches Cena and send him outside before hitting a Suicide Dive. Cena is rolled back in while Punk heads for the apron. And the springboard du jour is a clothesline, but it missed as Cena avoided it. Five Knuckle Suffle happens this time.
Cena wants the AA, but Punk landed (almost) on his feet before kicking Cena and sweeping the legs for a 2 count. GTS is tried, but Cena slipped out and hit a gutwrench slam for a 2 count. Cena is feeling the knee as he waits for Punk to get up.
Again, the AA is countered, this time with 2 high knees in the ropes and a bulldog. Punk wants the springboard, and hits the clothesline this time for a 2 count. And at least one of those knees was SPOT ON the chin.
Punk with some kicks to the chest, but a head kick misses and Punk gets caught with the STF! And he's in the middle of the ring! Punk crawls and crawls and JUST makes the ropes. Cena reaches for Punk, but is nailed with a head kick for a 2 count.
Punk pulls himself up and heads up top. A crossbody is rolled through and Cena again wants the AA. Counter to the GTS. Cena grabs the leg ont he way down and locks on the STF AGAIN!!!!
Cena pulls Punk back into the middle of the ring as he was near the ropes. PUNK COUNTERS INTO THE ANACONDA VICE!
Cena powers back to his feet and finally hits the Attitude Adjustment! ONLY A TWO COUNT!!!! Like the 6th time of asking and it doesn't put Punk away!
Cena now heads up top, and comes down with the leg drop, but Punk catches him with a short powerbomb for a 2 count. Punk signals for the GTS, but Cena grabs the ropes and hangs Punk off the top one. Cena goes back up top and the leg drop connects this time. Still only a 2 count though.
Cena waits for Punk to get back up, looking for the AA. He hits it again but AGAIN at the last split second, Punk kicks out! Cena can't believe it and wonders what he has to do. Cena puts Punk on the top turnbuckle, and he wants a Super-AA.
Punk elbows out of it though and switches round with Cena. Hurricanrana off the top rope. Cena rolls to the other corner to create space though. However since he's in the corner, he gets hit with the GTS. However, Cena falls outside the ring!
Punk's in disbelief, before he goes to pick up Cena and roll him back in the ring. Vince & Johnny Ace kmake their way down the aisle. They lock eyes with Punk.
Punk gets caught in the STF! VINCE CALLS FOR THE BELL! Johnny Ace goes to ring it, but Cena TAKES ACE OUT! He doesn't want it that way. But he gets back int he ring. GO TO SLEEP!
CM PUNK WINS!!!!!!!
WINNER & NEW WWE CHAMPION: CM PUNK!!!!
So essentially, Vince screwed Vince.
Cole notes in one hour and 14 minutes. Punk was no longer in the WWE.
Vince grabs a headset and orders the music to be cut. He wants Alberto out there NOW!
Del Rio runs in and takes an immediate kick to the head! And leaves through the crowd!!!!!
AND THAT IS YOUR SHOW! We see Punk leave the building by the front door as Vince stews at ringside! Phenomenal swerve in having Punk actually leave, but still with BOTH MITB cases in play. Yeah, this show friggin' delivered people.
I would talk more, but I'm up for work in less than 4 hours... NIGHT!