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Pay-Per-Views
WWE Royal Rumble Real Time Report: Match By Match Coverage
By Aaron Wood
Jan 25, 2009 - 7:33 PM

Welcome to the 
 WWE Royal Rumble 2009
 Real Time Report

This report is being written in real time.  You will need to hit refresh in order to see the latest results as they happen.

You can interact with World Wrestling Insanity readers and staff during the event by going to the Insanity Message Boards.   

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33 Minutes...

with Dangerous Danny Davis

Bobby

The Evil Referee Gimmick, How He Got Under The Skin of Fans, Whether The Santana-Savage Match Was Originally Part of His Turn, The WWF Wrestler Who's Wrestling Outfit Changed The Original Plans For His Ring Attire, Scoring The Pin at WrestleMania 3, The Hulk Hogan-Paul Orndorff Saturday Night's Main Event Cage Match Tie, When Mean Gene Visited The Hart Foundation Offices, People Confusing Him With OVW's Danny Davis, Lack of Respect From Today's Wrestlers, Why He Clicked With Sam Houston, Mr. X, Ultimate Warrior, Bobo Brazil, Harley Race, Bruno Sammartino, Vince McMahon and More

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Well, good evening everyone and welcome to this month WWE PPV Real Time Coverage with me, as ever (well, mostly) Aaron Wood.  We're some 30 minutes away from the show, which will see the following matches:

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina (Womens Title)
Jack SWAGGAH~! vs. Matt Hardy (ECW Title)
John Cena vs. JBL (World Title)
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy (WWE Title)

30 Man Royal Rumble.  At the current time, there are 23 confirmed names, leaving 7 spots open, obviously.  Wouldn't surprise me to see some choice surprises in there, and indeed, if you've checked out PWI, they claim to have a surprise name that will be inhabiting one of those Rumble spots.  Also, to clarify, and for those who asked, HHH will not (necessarily) be Number 1 in the Rumble, as was laid out in the spoilers and as my Smackdown review's title hinged on.  It was booked that way to begin with, but plans, as ever, changed between filming and transmission, so he's now somewhere else in the mix.

But to hold you over until the top of the hour, as ever, I've picked out a couple of plum videos for you to enjoy, and oddly enough, there is something of a theme to them, in that, they are pun-related.

First up, we have the great TV On The Radio, in a live performance of their latest track, "Dancing Choose", from a UK Show called "Later...With Jools Holland"

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


And secondly, we have an awesome new band called Metronomy, with the video for their new single "A Thing For Me".  Now, there's no pun in the title, but wait until you see the karaoke-inspired video...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Anyway, until the show is ready to begin, make a cup of tea, watch the videos and strap yourself in, because we hit the Road To Wrestlemania tonight, and this show could be a big one...

Well, here we go people!  The first WWE PPV of the year.   It truly does seem like ages since the last one.  The Road To Wrestlemania begins tonight, and the internet is currently ABUZZZZZZ~!~!~! with rumours of what will or won't happen tonight.  The fact is, we just don't know, so let's find out!

We kick things off with the usual video when it comes to this time of year, chronicling the Rumble match and the exciting things that have happened over the years, with a bunch of past winners.  And we see a bunch of guys in this year's match, which COMES TO A CRASHING HALT with Randy Orton, as we divert to see a replay of the awesome punt form Monday night on Vinny Mac.

We start at ringside with Cole & Lawler, who said that the McMahon's are keeping quiet about how Vince is.  They say that Orton will also be reprimanded, but neither Michael or Jerry know how yet.

The pyro explodes and we start this she-bang properly.  We've got a full house in The Joe as we await our first combatants...

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy in a "He might be able to walk the walk, but can Jack Swagger?" match for the ECW Title
Matt comes out, as challenger, as we toos things to Todd Grisham and Matt Striker.  The new ECW Champ, Jack Swagger comes out to his Rage Against The Machine Tribute Act theme.  How that group get away with being called "Age Against The Machine", I don't know...  And right away, we're on the "main event intros" with TONY THE CHIM~!

A collar and elbow ends up in the corner, and Swagger hides between the ropes.  Another ends up in another corner, but Matt caught Swagger's cheap shot with a punch of his own.  Again Swagger went for a quick shot, but Hardy was ahead of him.  Outside, Matt wailed away with a good shot again.  Back in, Swagger blocks a whip and rolls to the outside to have a think about it.  Back in, Swagger went for and scored a waistlock takedown, moving into a hammerlock.  Hardy countered out of it, but Swagger re-countered back into the hammerlock.  Matt elbowed out and went for the Twist Of Fate, but it was blocked although he scored wiht a dropkick and bulldog out the corner for a 2 count.

Matt went up to the middle rope, but Swagger shoved Hardy out of the ring to the floor.  Swagger continued to work the arm before hitting a shoulder block for a 2 count.  The champ put on a top keylock, but Hardy was up quickly, and they ended up in the corner.  Swagger yanked the arm, which he draped over the rope.  A Hardy boot was countered and Swagger hit a clothesline for 2.  Swagger went back to the left arm, pulling Hardy off the mat to wrench on it.

Hardy was able to get up and break the hold.  Hardy built momentum with clotheslines and a sort-of Side Effect for a 2 count.  Whip into the corner was followed by a clothesline & Bulldog combo, with the other arm, for 2.  Hardy went up again and hit the elbow tot he back of the head for 2.  Hardy looked to finish, but Swagger countered with a belly to belly suplex for a near fall.  Swagger looked for a suplex, but it was blocked, as was one of Hardy's, with Swagger scoring an armbar takedown.  Striker hit us with a stat about the last Carolinian winning a title in Michigan (Steamboat).  Meanwhile, Matt knocked Swagger out the corner and hit a moonsault, but Swagger JUST kicked out at 2.  The Twist was blocked, as was the Side Effect, and Hardy was sent into the ringpost through the corner.  Swagger hit the gutwrench powerbomb for the three count.

WINNER & STILL ECW CHAMPION - JACK SWAGGER

Matt was left looking upset, as Grisham noted Matt had been at the peak of his career, and Striker said the ECW Title meant everything to Matt.  Matt sat on the stairs dejected.

Tood sent it to when Orton arrived, and everyone was just staring at him. as he walked by them.

Cole & Lawler took over for the next match.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina in a "Yeah, I've actually got nothing..." match for the Womens Title

Melina came out first and she was rocking the cleavage.  meanwhile, there's a sign in the crowd saying "Jeff Hardy Has The Edge!"  What, he's kidnapped the U2 guitarist?  FOR SHAME!  Glamarella came out next, and Santino was rocking a new, Ferrari-inspired, shirt.  Also, Phoenix has some hair sticking up like she was Cameron Diaz in There's something About Mary, if you know what I mean.

As the ladies locked up, a loud "Santino" chant got going.  Beth worked a reverse waistlock.  However, Melina broke free and came back with punches and a dropkick, but she ran into Phoenix.  Melina whirled around Beth's head and scored with an armbar.  However, Beth was able to pick Melina up and dump her in the corner.  Melina ended up on Beth's shoulders and Beth dumped Melina off.  As Melina crawled into the corner, Phoenix hit an Umaga-like ass splash in the corner.  She scored a 2 count.  Beth worked the leg, with a single-leg crab/ankle lock like move.  Melina got close to the ropes, but Beth pulled her back and then bent Melina's leg right over to use Melina's own leg to kick Melina in the back of the head!

Melina kicked Beth off in the ropes, but she ran into a side slam for a 2 count.  In the corner, Melina was put up top.  beth picked her up and looked for a press slam, but Melina slippe dout and was able to hit a jawbreaker.  Melina came in with punches before ducking under BEht's legs.  Melina then scored a roll up for 2.  Drop toe hold saw Phoenix hit the ropes and Melina sqaushed her.  A hair mare then scored a 2 count.  Melina came off the middle rope with a Thesz press before looking to finish with her leg drop.  Beth then blocked a victory roll, but Melina manuvered into a roll up for the three count!!!

WINNER & NEW WOMENS CHAMPION - MELINA

Beth looked as dejected as Matt Hardy just did, as Cole & Lawler talked about the situation between John Cena & JBL, with his bitc...employee, Shawn Michaels.  That sent us to a recap package of how HBK ended up being a whore.

We cut backstage to the solemn HBK, who was approached by JBL.  JBL said ther ewas no reason to be conflicted, sinc ewhen he wins the title, he wouldn't just get all the money owed, HBK would get it ALL tonight, and he'd never have to work again for JBL.  Not only that, there was a spot in the Rumble in there as well.  Shawn could get to Wrestlemania after all!  HBK looked tempted, but turned around into...THE UNDERTAKER!  He said "Sometimes it's hell getting into heaven".  And suddenly, I'm thinking Taker vs. HBK is on again!

We got a Wrestlemania 25 advert.  Pretty cool.

John Cena vs. JBL in a "I should really just not call this match until at least 15 minutes in, or whenever it is that HBK gets involved, should I?" match for the World Heavyweight Title

JBL & HBK made their way out, although there was no limo tonight.  And, for once, a "Cena" chant got going before he came out, although it was the usual mix when he did actually arrive.  Once again, albeit this time with LILLIAN THE GARC~!, we did the main event intros.  Cena with a headlock takedown, but JBL got one of his own.  Cena scored a leapfrog over a running JBL, hitting a clothesline, sending JBL outside to consult with HBK.  JBL took Cena into the corner, and scored with some shots.  A whip across was reversed though and he hit a bulldog for a 2 count.  Cena hit the Throwback (the proper one, bit the FU) for a 2 count.  Again, JBL powdered out, and Cena gave chase.  Cena ducked under a clothesline, but almost ran into HBK, allowing JBL to get on top.

Short clothesline scored a 2 count on Cena before JBL started dropping elbows.  He made another cover, but again, only scored a 2 count.  Bradshaw went for a Crossface-like hold, but seated, alth