Hello and welcome to the Insanity's Real-Time Coverage of TNA's Shamiversary. Once again, JG has tapped the Lord of the Insanity Universe, Mike Johns, to bring you the blow by blow as we, once again, dive into the depths of depravity that is TNA on Pay Per View.

Tonight, TNA celebrates its 8th year of existence with a main event featuring men who, a decade ago, were considered to be the franchise players of their respective promotions. Sting, who had spent his entire career playing the colorful, child-friendly hero, was now cast in darkness, a dark angel who ascended from on high as to fight the evils of the nWo. Meanwhile, Rob Van Dam was the Whole F*cking Show in Philidelphia, wowing fans and peers alike with his unique offense during his near 2-year reign as ECW World Television Champion. Now? One is a 50 year-old man whose passion for the business quit on long before his body did, and the other one? Well, let's just say he screwed up his last Main Event run by getting arrested for possession of Marijuana, virtually ruining his chances of ever being a World Champion again, or so we thought.

So, here we are, stuck with two aging relics of a time long past dead, in the Main Event of the biggest PPV of a fledgling company's history. Meanwhile, the scatterbrained leader of this fiasco, Dixie Carter, is set to announce... something. So far, just today, it's been downgraded from 'game changing announcement that will change TNA forever (AGAIN)' to a mere 'surprise', even though she's now promising that we'll see the 'game changer' over the next few weeks. Seriously? WTF?!

So, because I apparently have a higher tolerance for 'stupid' than everyone else on this site (I do review WWE Superstars, after all), it seems that I, your resident Maverick DJ, will have to watch this, so you don't have to. Make sure you keep hitting that F5 button, or else, this thing's going to seem awfully short.

No, seriously. Hit the refresh for updates. That's how this thing works.

And now, TNA's Shamiversary....

Seriously, these pre-shows are BORING. I have no idea how anyone can sit through these things. I also have no idea what TNA releases these pre-shows a week before the PPV via their YouTube page, then still expect fans to sit through this crap before the PPV itself. Nor do I have any idea why I'm telling you guys any of this. Must be something I do to keep myself from falling asleep before the show, I guess.

And on with the show...

Our opening video is actually pretty decent. Sure, there's a bunch of BS being shoveled at you about how great TNA is and whatnot, but hey, what did you expect? TNA to come out and say, "Yeah, we suck"? Not likely.

And we start off the night with

Kazarian (#10 Contender) vs. Kurt Angle

So, in case you haven't been paying attention, Kurt Angle was given the #2 rank in the World Title Contenders List, but declined it, saying he'd rather work his way from the bottom up. The bottom being Kazarian, who I guess is a heel this month.

Angle starts strong with the crowd behind him. KAz nails a low blow and the ref does not call for the DQ (apparently at Kurt's request). Kaz dives to the outside on Angle. Tiltawhirl backbreaker by Angle. Kaz takes over on Angle after a big clothesline, wearing Angle to the mat with a front facelock. Angle battles to his feet, nails a big german suplex on Kaz. Belly to belly by Kurt for 2. Kaz floats over into aneckbreaker for 2. Powerbomb by angle for 2. Angle locks in the ankle lock, reversed into a pin, but Kurt kicks out. Kaz to the top, but misses the high risk move, Kurt gets a 2. Angle slam attempt into a sunset flip by Kaz. Angle goes of the ankle again, but Kaz kicks himself free. Slingshot DDT by Kaz for 2. Rolling germans by Kurt - 4 total. Kurt pulls down the straps and goes for another Angle slam. Kaz reverses out into an armdrag. Piledriver variant for 2 by Kazarian. Clothesline by Kaz for 2. Kaz spingboard to his doom, as Angle catches the Angle slam for 2. The crowd wants a tap, but Angle goes high for the moonsault. Kaz catches him, tries to roll Kurt with a rope job for 2. Kaz with the Spike Driver (Tenay called it that, so I'll go with it), but Kurt rolls into an ankle lock for the tap.

Winner: Kurt Angle

Tenay and Taz officially welcome you to the show, and thanks the fans for their work, as well as shout outs to the TNA Originals by Taz. Then they hype up tonight's Main Event - RVD vs. Sting.

Up Next:
X-Division Title Match
Douglas Williams (c) vs. Brian Kendrick

So Kendrick is a face now. Okay. Whatever.

They start off with a greco roman knuckle lock. Guess Kendrick wants to play Williams' game. Kendrick gets an advantage, goes for an armbar, but Williams gets the rope break. Williams takes over now, with a facelock, but Kendrick fights out. Kendrick charges to the corner, but Williams blocks, hits a rolling leglock on Brian. Brian wiggles out to the floor, where he takes over, back suplexing Brian to the floor. Williams dominates on the floor, then rolls Brian back in and locks a camel clutch. Kendrick fights back up, but Williams nails a fall away slam for 2. Backbreaker into a bow and arrow lock by Williams. Kendrick fights out into a pin for 2. Cravat by Williams, wearing Brian down to the mat. Vertical suplex attempt by Williams, blocked by Kendrick. Will hangs him to dry, but Brian knocks him to the floor and nails a dive on the outside. Missile Dropkick by Kendrick for 2. Enzugiri followed by a shining wizard for 2. Single leg kick for 2 by Brian. Doug with a low kick to the 'hamstring' to regain the advantage. Series of nearfalls traded by both men. Big knee in the corner by Doug followed up by a snap, a gutwrench, and a exploder suplex for 2. Chaos Theory attempt by Doug, but Kendrick fights out. Ken sets Doug on the 2nd buckle, but Doug knocks him off, then nails a flying tornado DDT on Kendrick for the win.

Winner and STILL Champion: Douglas Williams

T&T talk up how Doug won the match with the very type of manuver Doug claims to revile.

To the back with Hemme, asking Bischoff about Sting. Eric claims that Sting has his own agenda, then talks glowingly about RVD, how he's a great role model and all that BS. You're kidding, right?

Up Next:
Knockouts Title Match
Madison Rayne (c) vs. Roxxi

Ashley Lane vs. Nikki Roxx? I'm down. Let's roll! We get the recap of how Rox got her groove back in TNA, beating Maddie in her redebut to earn the title shot.

Maddie the heel, coming out on her own. Okay... Now she decides she has something to say. What's that, Ash? She wants to know why the BP have been dominating the KO Division while the Roxx has been in and out of TNA for the last 2 years. Maddie then wants to know what Roxx is going to put on the line, since Maddie's got everything on the line. Maddie then talks the Rox into putting her career on the line against Maddie's belt, then nails her with the mic and goes for the quick pin. Rox kicks out, and... WHAT THE F*CK?! Rox's career vs. Maddie's title?

Rox takes the ealry advantage, but Maddie knocks her out of the ring, and Rox is ALREADY BLEEDING. Rox goes for a high risk move, by Maddie pulls her off the turnbuckle and attacks, getting a nearfall in the process. Maddie works the arm, wearing Rox down. Enzugir by Rox for the comback. Rox with a series of boots and clotheslines to take over, then the BARBIE CRUSHER (fine... 'Voodoo Drop') for 2. Rox goes for a Zack Attack, but Rox nails a second Barbie Crusher. Maddie rolls out of the ring to save herself. Rox rolls Maddie into the ring, but Maddie takes advantage, kicking Rox as she tries to get back in the ring. Then she nails the Zack Attack to kick Nikki Roxx back to the Indies again.

Winner and STILL Champion: "The Career Killer" Madison Rayne

Rox walks off a bloody mess, as we learn that her run here was apparently short-term (again), and I could have used her in NXT: Divas after all. F*cking hell...

Up Next:
Jesse Neal vs. Brother Ray

Seriously? They're putting THIS on Pay Per View?

You know, Neal used to have some kick-ass entrance music. In fact, they played it during the hype video for this match they just played. So, instead, they have him come out to some sh*tty production music. Meanwhile, 3D's music just blows.

Ray grabs a mic and tells Jesse to relax, then calls for Devon. As D comes down, so does Shannon Moore. Ray then says he's glad both members of Ink Inc. are here, because he owes everyone in the ring an apology. The crowd asks for tables, then lets Ray continue. Ray admits that he's been acting like a douchebag, and the crowd, seeming to love swear-word chants, then chants "You're a douchebag" at Ray. Ray admits that he's wrong about Jesse, which, of course, means we're going to get the patented Russo ~SWERVE~ any second now. Ray apologizes for calling Neal a failure in the Navy and blaming him for his friend's death. Then Ray apologizes to Neal and the fans again, then hugs Neal as Shannon walks off.

3... 2... 1... ~SWERVE~!!!!

As Team 3D and Neal walk off together, Ray runs back and nails Neal, shoving him back to the ring, while making sure the ref makes Devon go to the back. Ray then beats the sh*t out of Jesse Neal. The crowd chants for Jesse, but it basically does nothing. Eventually, Neal fights back with some headbuts, but Ray nails him in the knee. He then sets Neal on the top turnbuckle and chops into a tree of woe. Then he nails a hanging neckbreaker on Neal. More chopping in the corner, and on the mat, and six years later, Jesse makes a small comeback with punches. Neal can't seem to drop Ray with a clothesline, so he dives off the top with a crossbody for 2, then a belly to belly for 2. Bubba Bomb kills the momentium, and...

TOMMY DREAMER makes his TNA Debut, walking to the ring through the crowd to a massive ECW Chant, staring down Ray the whole way. Ray turns his back on Neal, but Ray nails him anyway. Goes for a senton splash off the middle and misses, allowing Jesse Neal to gore Ray for the win.

Winner: Jesse Neal

To the back with Christy Hemme and Hernandez. Supermex talks up revenge and whatnot, wanting to pound the hell out of Matt Morgan.

Up Next -
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Looks like Morgan's going to try and wuss out of the match, as he comes out in a street clothes and a neckbrace. Matt grabs a mic (third segment in a row we start with in-ring talking), and addresses the impact zone. Matt regrets that he is unable to compete tonight, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then blames Hernandez for jumping him from behind and injuring him, yadda, yadda, yadda. Matt has with him a Doctor's Note saying he cannot and will not be wrestling tonight. Nice touch. Actually bringing the doctor's note. The only way to top that is to bring a note from Epstein's Mother.

If you actually get the reference, you're old enough to remember when wrestling was a sport.

So Hernandez comes out and makes Matt fight him anyway, throwing Matt into the ring, ripping off the brace, and beating on the blueprint. Supermex puts the ref on the turnbuckle when he tries to break up the ruckus, and Mex goes back to the attack. Out the outside, Morgan takes over, nailing a huge discus clothesline on Mex. Back in the ring, Morgan takes over, throwing Mex into the turnbuckle shoulder-first multiple times. Matt tells the ref to count as Supermex struggles to get back into the ring after gettign dumped out after post ram #17 or so. Mex beats the count, just to get pummeled by Morgan in the corner. Side slam by Morgan for 2. Morgan toys with Mex a bit, allowing Mex to regain momentum with a clothesline and a shoulderblock. Mex goes for the neck again, choking Matt with his shirt on the middle rope. Ref breaks the hold, just for Mex to toss the ref into next year, leading to the DQ.

Winner: Matt Morgan by DQ

The fight continues on the outside as Mex sets Morgan up for a boot into the ring post, but Brian Hebner gets in the way, taking the brunt of Supermex's boot. Morgan runs for the hills as Earl Hebner comes out to check on his son, out on the floor. Brian is helped out by refs as we go to the back with Christy Hemme and Hulk Hogan.

Hogan talks up the Main Event. Blah. Hulk talks about how Sting's apparently a dick now and yadda, yadda, yadda. Um... last I heard, HULK was the Squid, Dixie was Ozzymandias, and Sting? Sting was one of the guys smart enough to collect the paycheck from the people in power.

Anyway, Hogan promises that we won't see a repeat of Sting vs. Jarrett from last month. Does that mean we'll actually have a match this time?

Up Next - MONSTER'S BALL
Abyss vs. Desmond Wolfe

This crowd is chanting "ABYSS SUCKS" as Nigel pwns Byss in the opening minutes of this match. Side slam on Des for 2, and Byss takes over, going under the ring for a bed of barbed wire.

Who's idea was it to put Nigel in a Barbed Wire Match, anyway?

Bys sets the wire bed up in the corner, and the two fight around until Des bites himself in the ass, going headfirst into a chair he wedged in a corner. Bys goes for some trashcans, but gets caught by Des, who nails Bys in the head with a can. Chelsea continues to earn her paycheck by proving that even Megan Fox is a better actress than her as Abyss takes over, ramming Des int hecorner with a barbed wire teddy bear. He then rolls out of the ring and presents it to Chelsea. Back to the violence, bys grabs the bag of tacks... or not. A bag of BROKEN GLASS as Bys does the POINT OF DOOM on Des. Wolfe runs for the hills (wisely), but Bys won't let him. Using Chel as a shield, Des then nails Bys with a kendo stick, and the two fight up to the announcer's table. Bys chockeslams Des through the ramp going towards the announcer's table. Bys drags Des back to the ring. After all, we have BROKEN GLASS to bump on, for Christ's sake! Bys rolls Des into the ring for 2, but Des grabs a rope. Apparently, falls DO NOT count anywhere in a Monster's Ball match. And there's rope breaks, too. Bys sets the barbed wire bed on the mat, then Des on the top rope for a suplerplex attempt. 3... 2.. 1... Bys takes the barbed wire bump as Des fights him off. 2 count after the obvious spot, and Abyss struggles to his feet. Des with another kendo stick, whacking Bys over the head repeatedly. Bys knocks Wolfe down, then sets him up for a chokeslam on the BROKEN GLASS. Wolfe then nails Bys with a Kendo stick, dropping Bys face-first into the BROKEN GLASS. But hey, that's not enough. Bys kicks out.

Des demands the brass knucks from Chel. She hands him the case, but alsa, no Knucks. Seems we have yet another Russo ~SWERVE~, as she chucked the knucks to Abyss. Bys with the kuck punch on Des for the win. And Megan Fox continues to be a better actress than the blank-faced Chelsea as she stares with no discernible reaction as Abyss is declared the winner.

Winner: Abyss

To the back, and Hemme's with RVD. And they all think the internet is BUZZING about this. Um... no. We're BUZZING about WWE firing Bryan Danielson (and not in the good way). Most of us could honestly not care less about this Main Event.

Up Next -
AJ Styles vs. Jay Lethal

So we learn why Kaz is a heel this month, because apparently Kaz is Flair's new golden boy. So AJ is going to kick the hell out of Jay Lethal to prove himself to Ric. Wow. This story is actually... kinda good. And it almost makes sense. WOW. So let's watch as TNA screws it up with yet another patented Russo ~SWERVE~. That'd make 3 for the night, so far, if it happens.

Also, so far, Hulk Hogan has managed to do one good thing for TNA and its fans so far - he KILLED Black Machismo. Welcome Back, Jay Lethal! It's about f*cking time!

They tie up to start. AJ pushes Jay into the corner, forcing the break. AJ nails a chop, but Jay responds with a chop of his own, sending AJ running scared to the outside to regroup. They tie again, and AJ takes over with a headlock, then a takedown, but Jay reverses into a headscissors. AJ counters into an inverted DDT position, into a headlock. AJ tehn goes after Jay's knee, but Jay fights him off. AJ counters a monkey flip, but Jay snaps him down, dropkicks AJ in the face, and gets a 2 count. Snap suplex on AJ for 2. Jay and AJ brawl to their feet. Backbreaker by Jay for 2. Flying Heascissors by Jay tosses AJ to the outside. Flair helps AJ up as the ref forces Jay back into the ring. Back inside, AJ chokes at Jay into the corner. Lethal gets crotches after trying to catch AJ with another flying headscissors. Big kick off the rope on Jay for 2. AJ with a slam and a kneedrop for 2. Jay rams AJ into the corner, taking over. Running kick for 2 by Jay. Back suplex by AJ to regain momentum. AJ throws Jay to the outside, where Flair chokes Jay as AJ distracts Earl Hebner. Back in the ring, AJ wears Jay with a chinlock. Lethal fights up to his feet and out of hold, then into a handspring elbow. Great Muta reference by T&T. Aj with the front facelock, but Jay fights out. Jay with the momentum for the comeback. Leg Lariat on AJ, followed into a moonsault for 2 by Jay. Dropkick in the corner, followed by the Lethal Combo for 2. Jay goes for a springboard, but AJ is up and catches him with a gutbuster for 2. Jay nails a backdrop neckbreaker for 2. AJ locks Jay in the figure 4 in the middle of the ring. Jay gets the rope break. AJ nails the brainbuster for 2, and a Arn Anderson reference by Taz. Aj goes for the Clash, but Jay rolls out, counters into his release dragon suplex for a pin. Flair makes the save, though, pulling AJ to the ropes for the save. Jay locks the figure 4 on AJ as Flair goes apesh*t on the outside. AJ rolls and gets the ropes, breaking the hold. Backbreaker ny Jay, goes for the flying elbow off the top and misses. Pele kick by AJ, as he struggles to climb the turnbuckle. Jay takes advantage, nailing a northern lights suplex for the win.

Winner: Jay Lethal

T&T mention that Jay had beat the #2 contender to the TNA Title, meaning that Jay could now be ranked. Flair bitches at AJ, but Kaz comes down to calm Natich down. Is this the ~SWERVE~ we're looking for? Does Kaz nail AJ? Nope.

To the back with Sting, talking about he's a bad guy now, and how, when he beats RVD tonight, the veil will be lifted and we'll see the truth. He then spouts off quotes from The Dark Knight, and asks whether or not we think he's the type who wants to watch the world burn.

Up Next -
Mr. Anderson & Jeff Hardy vs. Beer Money

We get the hype video telling the story of Anderson's one-month journey from Heel of Heels to TNA's Newest 'Hero". Seriously.

To the back, where Christy Hemme talks to Hardy and Anderson. Jeff whines about people thinking Matt Hardy carried him. Then Jeff and Ken figure out a name for themselves as a team - the Enigmatic Assholes.

God, Spike TV has just got to LOVE the fact that TNA has resurrected the 'ASSHOLE' chants in wrestling. Especially since, once upon a time, they were the dumbasses who bitched at ECW for having theme music that was 'too demonic'...

Beer Money comes out. Blah. Anderson makes his entrance, making sure to use the word ASSHOLE as often as possible, and even letting the crowd do the "ANDERSON... Anderson" gimmick. Meanwhile, I still haven't found a good version of the new Jeff Hardy theme to play on Maverick Radio, but I really do like it. It actually sounds like a real song now.

Anderson and Roode start off, as does the "LET'S GO ASSHOLE" chants. Roode gains the early advantage, drop toe holding Ken, and tagging Storm. Anderson fights out, and Roode and Hardy tag in. Roode takes over on Jeff with a headlock, then drops Hardy with a shoulder block. tag to Storm, and a double team Manhattan Drop into a Russian Leg Sweep on Jeff. Jeff tags Ken, and they variat on an old Hardy double team. Ken and Storm slug it out as Storm tags in. Anderson gets dumps to the outside as Beer Money takes over on Ken. Back in the ring, Beer Money work Anderson over. Big knee for 2 by Roode. Storm tags in as people start singing the old Denis Leary song. No, really, they do. Anderson nails Storm with a desperation Elbow and nails the HOT TAG to Hardy. Gordbuster by Jeff on Roode for 2. Beer Money take over on Jeff, nailing a double DDT for 2. Been Money sets up for a double team, but Anderson pulls Storm out, allowing Hardy to nail a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for 2. Storm pulls the ref out of the ring to save Roode. Beer Money take back over in the ring on Jeff, Storm the legal man.

PLEASE, if ANYONE from TNA is reading this - Stop calling Jeff's Fans' Creatures of the Night. He is NOT the Undertaker. Just call them Emos like the rest of us.

Beer Money continues to pound on Hardy as the fans continue to chant "ASSHOLE" at every possible convenience. Backbreaker by Roode for 2. Storm tags in, goes for a pin. 2 count. Double Suplex by Beer Money, and the "BEER! MONEY!" routine still gets cheers. Storm with the slam on Jeff. Roode tags, wearing on Jeff some more. Anderson rallys the corwd to get behind Jeff. Jeff misses a Whisper in the Wind as Roode tags in. Roode taunts Jeff as he drags to his feet. Hardy nails a diamond cutter, then gets the HOT TAG to Anderson. Ken nails a Green Bay Plunge on Roode for 2. Storm taken out on the outside by Hardy on the outside as Ken goes for a Mic Check. Roode fights out and nails a spinebuster for 2. Storm hits Jeff with the Eye of the Storm. Beer Money sets Ken up for the DWI, but Jeff dumps Storm outside, helping Ken reverse the DWI into a Mic Check for the win.

Winners: The Enigmatic Assholes - Jeff Hardy & Mr. Anderson

Up Next - MAIN EVENT TIME!!!
TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match
Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Sting

Isn't Sting still injured? We're about to find out...

We get the edited version of the PPV pre-show, which was just as boring as the half-hour version. RVD claims that the day Sting becomes TNA Champion will be a dark one, indeed. Yeah, says the guy who lost his last Main Event Push because he couldn't wait until he got to the hotel to light up, then scoffed off the month suspension he had to serve as time to clean his garage. Meanwhile, Sabu was willing to take the brunt of the heat for the arrest in an attempt to save RVD's push and his career. Why bring this up? Because, seriously, that's why he's really in TNA, because WWE isn't dumb enough to give him the ball after the way he embarrassed them in 2006.

So we have the extended entrances, and the introductions by Jeremy Borash. 20 minutes left before the show goes black, so they could actually have to go at least 10. If Sting's hurt, and the fact he's still wrestling in a T-shirt is definitely pointing me towards that being true, this is going to be awkward.

They tie up to start, and Sting takes over, dragging RVD to the outside and into the rail. Over the rail we go, and, here we go. RVD throws Sting into a wall, then kicks him. They throw Sting into a wall a few more times...

Sting's still hurt. This is going to SUCK...

RVD sets Sting up for the flying axe kick off the guard rail. Sting runs, and RVD is on the chase as they continue to fight on the outside. Sting back body drops RVD over the rail to the floor. And, apparently, when the TNA Title is on the line, the rules go out the window. Or, at least they do when Sting has to watch the bumps because he's injured. So they go back to throwing each other into the wall in the crowd, then back to fighting alongside the rail.

HEY! We're back in the ring, now! Sting goes after RVD with stomps. Sets up RVD for the Stinger Splash and nails 2, then goes for a cover. RVD kicks out at 2. Sting with the chinlock on RVD now. RVD fights to his feet and they slug it out. RVD nails a spinning wheel kick on Sting, and takes over. Springboard thrust kick by RVD to 2, followed by a front slam into a split-legged moonsault for 2. Sting rams RVD into the corner and continues the assault. RVD goes for a high crossbody, but takes out the ref instead of Sting. With the ref down, Sting grabs the bat and takes over on RVD, going after the knee. Jeff Jarrett comes walking out to the ring now, takes the bat from Sting, and nails him with it. Jarrett walks off, and RVD nails a rolling thunder and goes for the cover. The ref's still out of it, and makes a slow 2 count. Sting and RVD to their feet now. RVD misses with a monkey flip, but Sting misses with a Stinger Splash. RVD with a kick to knock Sting down, then nails the 5-Star Frog Splash for the win

Winner and STILL Champion: Rob Van Dam

Final Thoughts -
To be honest, the show was better than Sacrifice, but not by much. The Angle/Kazarian match, the X-Division Title Match, the AJ/Jay Lethal match, Hardy & Anderson vs. Beer Money, and even the Knockouts Title match were all solid goings. In-ring, the show was decent. Nothing to write home about, outside of Angle vs. Kazarian, which may have been match of the night.

Angle-wise, we got the typical TNA Bullsh*t - multiple swerves, ass-backwards booking, hotshot angles that would have been more effective had they simply been built up on TV rather than just thrown on to PPV at the last minute to pop a response, and, of course, a lackluster Main Event. Rob Van Dam, ladies and gentlemen, on a streak of bad matches in the Main Event, as a World Champion. Never thought you'd see that sentence on the Internet, now did you? Sadly, right now, RVD is 0-2 for Good Matches on PPV as TNA World Champ, with only one of those showings (tonight's) being for good reason (Sting's obviously nowhere near 100%). That's just a shame.

Yet, there were some good things about the show. Jay Lethal finally gets to toss off Black Machismo for good, and seems to have a solid push behind him, but for how long, only God knows.

Meanwhile, I can't even begin to go into the sheer amount of STUPID behind bringing Roxxi back, yet AGAIN, giving her a TV win over Madison Rayne, pushing her as a contender on PPV, then killing her career in TNA, AGAIN, in less than a month. Hell, if I knew this was going to happen, I'd have kept Nikki Roxx in NXT: Divas and I wouldn't have people asking me, "Who the hell is Kellie Skater?" right about now...

Then, there's Brother Ray. I seriously do not have the patience for this crap today.

So, there you go. Shamiversary. Trust me, you didn't miss much. TNA will put Angle vs. Kazarian on YouTube in a few months anyway.