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Hello my Gathering! So... How you liking the site? Good innit... That said, It's still the same Real Time Stream we've been running for the last few shows now where rather than describe every single little thing that happens, I'll write about stuff when I feel like it and aim to tell you what was good, bad and downright fugly about the show. Of course, you can pitch in with some comments below yourselves. Haven't tried it out yet but it seems useable.
You know what's funny bout Summerslam (and not just downright disturbing like that graphic above)? It's not over a year since Jeremy Piven called it "Summerfest", and all wrestling fans online went from "Yay! Ari Gold's on RAW!" to "What a knobhead..." Also, because I forgot to mention them on Friday, there are threads in my section of the forums for not only a Yahoo Fantasy NFL league headed up by the resident Casual Smart Mark and former head shaker, Zah, and an Online Madden NFL Franchise for the 360 led by The GreatWhiteDope. And we know need the players for that, because I played GWD yesterday and, well, frankly, I kicked his ass. Give the man some hope. You won't be able to beat me, sure, but other games will be competitive. Anyway, you go sign up for those, I'll go do, I don't know, something, and we'll meet back here at the top of the hour for Summerslam! Well, here we go everybody! This better be good. This is one us Brits havs to pay for... The opening video starts off like The Rock's "Hollywood" entrance. Is that a clue? The opening video is about "change", looking at the top four matches, although naturally, it settles on the Nexus match. AWESOME video, as it goes. Gritty looking and creepy voiceover. But in a good way. Not a Miz-as-Sable way... Huge video screens for an entrance, and the top of the announce desk is bright yellow! Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston in a "This match was booked by TNA. You know, because they did the title change on free TV and not on PPV..." match for IC Title Full recap of Ziggler winning the title. You know, because they gave the match and title change away for free. Vickie's talking to start. Well, with six matches on the card, it's to be expected. She is looking damn tasty tonight though. Oh well, Kofi interrupts before she says anything beyond "Excuse me"... "(Vickie Guerrero) looks like Joan Jett got stung by bees..." - Matt Striker. Lawler wets his pants at the idea that they are now showing PPV's in MALTA. Yes, that's a huge market right there... Striker just pointed out, without actually saying it, that it was actually one year ago that Ziggler was constantly failing at winning the IC Title. Well, he's moved on somewhat in 12 months. Well, Lawler has just shown he doesn't watch Smackdown, since he doesn't know of Kofi's recent agression. That said, I'm sure he reads my UnReal Time review every Friday right here on World Wrestling Insanity. And I clearly watched a different Kane vs. Kofi match than Cole since he seems to think that Kane worked on Kofi's neck, rather than the ankle... This match is picking up the pace nicely. Sweet Christ, but Kofi just jumped HIGH off the top. Sleeeper Time... NEXUS RUN IN!!! Ziggler is dumped out and Kofi is a dead man. Let's call this a No Contest. RESULT: NO CONTEST Darren Young with his finisher. Wade Barrett puts the tin lid on it. Interesting that this is the first Smackdown involvement in the angle at all. Barrett on the mic saying this is a taste for later. He doubts WWE's cohesiveness. They couldn't even get together to sign a birthday card. So, now we know who has a birthday right around now. Backstage with a smug Miz and Jericho trying to get him to join the team. Edge is beside him, and he was Miz as well. That said, Edge is enjoying a pepperami or whatever you Americans have instead. Miz said he'd let them know. And steals Edge's snack. That's got Edge saliva on it dude! Alicia Fox vs. Melina in a "I don't think there's ever been a match where I want both sides to lose...until now..." match for the Divas Title So... what price on a Nexus run in here too? Oh yeah, Slim Jims. That is what Edge was eating... SWEET CHRIST WHAT IS MELINA WEARING?!?!?! Striker intimates that Lawler was hot for Bull Nakano. Lawler tries to change the subject... ***strokes chin*** Melina is wrestling in flesh coloured tights. It's very hard to tell from a distance. Melina with the upper hand early, working through a couple of familar spots, but busting out a nice baseball slide trip. Uh oh. Melina might have just blown her knee out again. But no immediate X suggests that it's a plot point for the match. And indeed, she gets pulled into the ringpost on the apron 30 seconds later... Could just be me, but I think Melina just dropped an F-Bomb. Yeah, Melina's moving fine now. And she's still got a pair of lungs on her. THREE COUNT OUT OF NOWHERE! WINNER & NEW CHAMPION: MELINA She won using the new facebuster she busted out on RAW. Melina's started to cry. Josh Matthews in for a in-ring interview. But that just brings out LayCool! And they have their comedy half-belts! LayCool are complaining about having no competition. Well, it doesn't help when half your proposed opponents gets arrested... Michelle doesn't know the difference between goosebumps and cellulite. Melina's going to work on LayCool, but the numbers games catches up with her and Michelle SMACKS Melina with a big boot. Alicia wants some, but LayCool put her down as well. Running knee into Melina's head into the announce desk to end things. Night Of Champions commercial. Very austere and grand. Some dude called Trace Adkins is in the house. So is Marlon Wayans. ALL THE STARS ARE OUT TONIGHT! Cole wants to talk about Rey shaving CM Punk's head, which sends it to a replay of the unmasking by Big Show and then the SES breaking Big Show's hand. So I guess we know what's next. Big Show vs. The Straight Edge Society in a "Can the SES finally be the heels who take out Big Show's main hand and still manage to win the PPV match???" 3-on-1 Handicap match Punk's hair is growing back in nicely. No-one else's is particularly. Cole just said that Show's opponents on Friday were "local yokels". That's new. And pretty cool... The trainer is cutting off Show's wrist tape off of him. But not at Punk's request. Looks like Punk's T-Shirt lied... Yeah, after a punch and big chop to Punk's scrubs, that hand is fine. Gallows gets sent out. Khali Bomb for Mercury. Punk grabs the tag rope and seemingly decides it should be tagging in and out after all.. Punk fails to stomp on Show's hand, but Punk moves on a chop onto the stairs and Show's hand is screwed again as the vultures gather. Gallows suits red and black. You know who' he'd bee good to have played? Kane... Big Show makes a comeback, but Punk blocks the chokeslam with a high kick. Three sets of corner knees to the head and Punk and Mercury hit a double bulldog, but only for a 2 count. Punk pounds on the arm, but fails to notice he's in Fireman's Carry position... Punk gets dumped out of the ring and takes a hike. Mercury chokeslammed onto Gallows for the three. WINNER: BIG SHOW Not bad for filler. Shame it's not supposed to be filler. Commerical for Slim Jim with Edge and The Bellas. S'alright. Kane promo with the empty casket. He tells his brother that Vengeance will be theirs tonight. He shuts the casket (which also somehow kills the background music...) when Sheamus walks in. He thinks the casket is too big for Rey, but the right size for Orton, so how's about a loan? Kane's no playing swapsies. Sheamus says the two of them would be unstoppable. But he says he'll be taking Kane's "Big Red Monster" nickname and tells Kane to stay out of his way. Kane threatens evisceration. The announcers start to talk about the World Title match when...AWESOME! Miz comes out to the ring. Is he Team WWE? Is he going to cash the case in tonight? Well, Mikey Mizzy has a mic... So... Team WWE or not? He polls the crowd, weho seem to suggest a no. But he could care less as the lockerroom opinion seems to be that he's the missing link. We all saw Bret & Cena ask him to be on the team. But what you didn't see what happened earlier. Cena admitted he's been wrong about The Miz and got down on his knees and begged. Miz claims that he's the personification of everyone's nicknames and that Morrison admitted he was the Jannetty of their team. and everyone else showered him with gifts. He claims to be WWE's only hope. He is the future. He's the US champion (when was that last defended?) and future WWE champion. He manages to workin a LeBron reference, noting the Lakers would lose their title. And Miz's answer is... Yes! You know, since Nexus have been taking out possible replacements, isn't he kind of a sitting duck??? Miz says that he will essentially do it all himself, you know, because he's awesome. and The Miz. Or something like that. Awesome promo there by Miz. And he didn't look at his wrist once! And hey...Nexus didn't bother to attack. But next, the other issue Miz might have tonight... Pretty damn awesome hype video. 3 matches left and we're only an hour into the show... Sheamus vs. Randy Orton in a "Given the stips, who else has a DQ finish in mind?" match for the WWE Heavyweight Title (If anyone interferes for Sheamus, they are suspended and if Orton loses, he doesn't get another title shot) J-RO! does the main event introductions. Lots of circling to start. Thankfully no-one seems to get dizzy. Saw a sign that has Sheamus as Beaker. And hey, Orton is bald, so he's clearly Dr. Bunsen Honeydew... Thanks head into the crowd, but there are countouts... Orton gets Sheamus and himself back in at 9. Sheamus takes control by reversing a whip into the steel steps. Orton goes in shoulder-first, naturally. Odd to note that Alicia Fox is currently trending higher in the UK on Twitter than Melina. And currently, they're the only 2 actual wrestlers who are trending... Some nasty back rams into the guardrail by Sheamus. See, the difference between Sheamus and Ken Anderson is that Sheamus makes it look like a real fight, but uses safe moves. Anderson's just a douche. They're talking about Orton's lame shoulder as Orton is in a slugfest with Sheamus using the supposedly injured arm. They even talk about it hanging there just as he throws a shot. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and ends up tumbling outside. This allows orton to hit the Elevated DDT. Sheamus JUST blocked the RKO. He went down, but managed to push Orton off half way down. The High Cross is blocked. As is the RKO, but another go at the Brogue Kick connects...BUT ONLY FOR 2! Sheamus is after a chair. The ref fights for it, and gets sent out. Sheamus is DQ'ed. Sheamus is not particularly disappointed... WINNER BY DQ: RANDY ORTON Sheamus pounds the chair on the mat, beckoning for Orton to get up. To the point he's actually bent it PRE-SWING. Orton ducks and hits a nutshot. He pulls Sheamus out the ring and clears the announce desk. No Spanish cannon fodder tonight, it should be noted. Orton with the most EVIL smile on the planet... RKO ON THE ANNOUNCE DESK! Did. Not. Break. That had to suck for Sheamus... Really good match, with an obvious finish. They couln't afford to drop Orton from the title picture, but this wasn't the time to change the champion. We spend some time looking at Sheamus trying to get up. Cena's next movie's trailer. They throw a shoutout to Jet for the use of Rip It Up before senidng it to the hype video for... Kane vs. Rey Mysterio in a "And cue Undertaker's return in..." match for the WWE World Title Come to mention it, while he'd have had to get Sheamus in the ring somehow, wasn't that a pretty good opportunity for Miz right there? First title match tonight where the challenger has come out first. Cole is seemingly siding with Kane... So... Kane has the casket with him again. What's the odds that Undertaker is actually in there? The fact that kane just opened the thing and it was empty does not necessarily mean that Undertaker isn't in there. It just means he was in the bit covered by the curtain under it. I'll take "Wrestling match opening gambits dressed up as laboured Jeopardy jokes" for five hundred... Answer: "Cat & Mouse" - Is it "How does this Rey vs. Big man match start", Alex? Striker makes reference to Hollywood horror villains and doesn't mention once Jacob Goodnight?!?!?! Kane in control and working over Rey's back. Rey comes off the top rope with a lawn darting headbutt to Kane. Pretty cool, if weird. BIG side slam by Kane picked up a 2 count. He gets cut off going up top however. Yeah, the Frankensteiner to Kane wasn't ever happening. But Kane misses the flying clothesline and Rey gets a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT for 2. Another tilt-a-whirl DDT picks up a 2 count. As does a Drop The Dime. But Kane catches him with an uppercut as Rey Rey came off the top. Kane heads for the casket and opens it. Still empty. Rey avoids the chokeslam and gets dropped for the 619 in front of the casket. Rey gets dropped in, but fights his way out, and dropkicks Kane into 619 position on the other side. And then Rey counters the chokeslam into a 3rd 619 attempt, which he hits, and then manages to pin Kane for a 2 count. Kane takes rey out again. Chokeslam connects and that's three. WINNER & STILL CHAMPION: KANE And now for the bit we all came to see??? Kane has a mic and he told Rey he was going to pay and now he will pay with eternal suffering as hell takes his soul, surrounded evermore by the darkness of the casket. Kane opens the casket and...it's empty!?!?! Rey fights back, and Kane closes the coffin. Second chokeslam. Third chokeslam. Time for a Tombstone, and Rey is limp. Kane opens the casket again and...UNDERTAKER!!!! Taker rises up out the casket and Kane is agog! Kane is Big Red Poopypants right now. Taker stands over Rey, gets right in his face, and asks if he's heard of "An eye for an eye". He asks Rey why he did it. However, Rey is able to persuade him unbeknownst to Kane... Taker turns round and locks eyes with his brother! Taker goes for a chokeslam, but Kane smiles and grabs Taker himself. And he's able to break Taker's grip! Kane with a Tombstone to Undertaker!!! Kane laughs like a maniac before picking up his belt and taking his leave as Taker stirs. Have to admit, that didn't end quite in the way I expected, but it played out quite well. Smackdown on SyFy commercial. Pretty cool. Messing around with physics. Cole sends it to a video recapping their week of activities. Nexus walk backstage which sends it to a recap. As much as Undertaker wasn't a surprise, there's been a lot of speculation as to what happens in the next 45/50 minutes. Team WWE (John Cena, Edge, Chris Jericho, R-Truth, John Morrison, Bret Hart & ???) vs. Nexus (Wade Barrett, David Otunga, Darren Young, Skip Sheffield, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater & Michael Tarver) in a "See, it's not a Survivor Series match because it's not yet November..." 7-on-7 Elimination match Twitter is on fire with a potential spoiler on wwe.com itself. It's either a HUGE leak on their part, or someone's late April Fool's joke. The next few minutes could be huge... Cena is out first, and he had brand new merchendise. This time, it's purple and yellow. Edge is next. Not carrying any Slim Jims. R-Truth is next. Not singing "What's Up?" tonight. A sign of things to come? Straiker drops a K-Kwik reference. Jericho is fourth. JoMo is fifth. Beards are usually sign of evil, aren't they? That said, it suits him... Bret is sixth. Why is Miz 7th????? And here comes Miz. And Cena gets on the Mic!!! The WWE.com spoiler is real! Miz is too late according to Cena and they couldn't rely on someone waiting for Summerlsam, so there is a new 7th member... DANIEL BRYAN!!!! A big stramash to start with sending Nexus out of the ring and Cole is apopletic. Nexus having a talk about it and they don't seem to know why he's back. And we're starting off with Daniel Bryan and Darren Young. Big Slugfest to start. Striker notes the bizarreness of Bryan and Young main eventing Summerslam. Omoplata by Bryan and Young taps in about a minute! ELIMINATED: DARREN YOUNG Gabriel comes in, as does Jericho off the tag. Truth now in and he evades Gabriel's kicks. Suplex into a Stunner picks up a 2 count for Truth. Gabriel drops truth and tags in Tarver, who punches away on Truth in the corner. So much for it being Show's gimmick. Morrison in off the tag as Tarver misses a charge. Morrison in control. Flying Chuck and Starship Pain gets rid of Tarver! ELIMINATED: MICHAEL TARVER Nexus take another powder. Sheffield gets in the ring. and shoves Morrison down. Sheffield with the power advantage. Morrison comes back, but gets caught with a big powerslam. Hard whip into the corner as things slow down. Crowd chants for Bret. Not sure he should against the power guy. A bunch of suplexes picks up two for the Skipper. Gabriel kicks Morrison from behind and Sheffield scores with the clothesline and eliminates JoMo. ELIMINATED: JOHN MORRISON While they replay Morrison's elimination, Sheffield hits Truth with the clothesline and eliminates him too! ELIMINATED: R-TRUTH Gorilla Press by Sheffield on Jericho. Barrett tags in. And Otunga comes in not long after. Otunga does much of nothing. Barrett back in and he puts on a bow & arrow. Jericho fights out and blocks a charge, hitting a second rope dropkick. Jericho tags in Bret! Slater tags in for Nexus. Bret goes to work on Slate rin the corner. Facewash along the ropes. Punch to the guts and an elbow to the back of the head. Scoop slam by Bret! Atomic drop and right hand. Bret looks for the Sharpshooter and gets it. Barrett tossed a chair in, and Bret couldn't resist. He waffles Sheffield in the back, and Bret is DQ'ed. ELIMINATED BY DQ: BRET HART Jericho in and he scores with the Codebreaker. Edge enters for the first time and he looks for the spear. That connects and Skip is gone and we're evens. ELIMINATED: SKIP SHEFFIELD Justin Gabriel is in now. Edge still in control. Gabriel blocks a corner charge, but takes a flapjack for a WWE 2 count. Justin smacks Edge with a roundhouse kick. Picks up a 2 count. Heath Slater comes in and stomps on Edge. He distracts the ref so Wade can hit a boot to the head. Edge is on the outside, but the ref is alert and Nexus can't attack. Barrett in off the tag and with a headbutt. Usually, when the site is busy, the article manager I put the text in slows down when I save. Since I wrote "DANIEL BRYAN!!!", it's been glacial... Spinning heel kick by Edge puts both men down again, but Edge is a long way from home. Edgeecution is blocked and Wade hits a neckbreaker. Otunga is tagged in. His finisher is blocked and Edge hits a faceplant. Edge makes the tag to Jericho. Jericho gets the Walls Of Jericho on Otunga and he's tapping! ELIMINATION: DAVID OTUNGA Slater is back in, the hard way. Jericho whiffs on a charge and knocks down Cena, and Slater hits Sweetness for the three. ELIMINATED: CHRIS JERICHO Cena & Edge argue. Slater rolls Edge up for three! ELIMINATED: EDGE Jericho & Edge smack Jericho around a bit. WWE is down to Daniel Bryan and Cena. Gabriel rolls Cena in the ring, and he's worked over in the Nexus corner. Barrett FINALLY using some of those bare-knuckle fighter skillz... Cena fights back, but eats Barrett clothesline. Justin Gabriel is back in again, and he locks on an armlock. Cena up quick. Attitude Adjustment is blocked and Gabriel drops Cena for 2. Barrett back in off the tag. Crowd with a dueling chant for Cena. Side slam by Barrett, but Cena comes back with a suplex. Well, if Daniel Bryan is rejoining Nexus, now is the time... Well, not quite, since Slater tags in and cuts Cena off. Cole is a Mets fan. Explains a lot. Double down clotheslines with Cena & Slater, so again...does Bryan tag in??? Slater grabs a leg, but Cena dives and here comes Bryan. He's a house of fire. Big German suplex to Slater. Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation!!!! Bryan in control. Slater slips out, but Bryan scores with a suicide dive! Bryan with a missile dropkick. Bryan takes out Nexus, but Slater ducks a kick! Bryan counters into the Omoplata and Heath is gone! ELIMINATED: HEATH SLATER Miz runs down and hits Bryan with the briefcase. Barrett picks up the pin. ELIMINATED: DANIEL BRYAN It's now Cena (down on the outside) vs. Barrett & Gabriel. Gabriel waits, but misses a charge, and Cena starts hitting his moves! Five Knuckle Shuffle connects and Cena looks to finish, but Barett gets the blind tag in to break up the Attitude Adjustment. Nexus with rapid tags as they maul Cena in the corner. That ends with Barrett in the ring. Big boot by Barrett sends Cena out of the ring. They go round to Cena and rip up the crash mats to expose the concrete. DDT to Cena by Barrett on the cold, hard ground. Barrett rolls Cena back in and sets him up for the 450 by Gabriel. However... Cena moves! Cena makes the flash pin for three! ELIMINATED: JUSTIN GABRIEL It's Cena vs. Wade. STF! Barrett fights it and he taps out!!! ELIMINATED: WADE BARRETT WINNERS: TEAM WWE!!!! Must admit, I thought Nexus were down to win this one. But by Jeebus, it was a helluva a match. Well, I thought this was a really good show. The main matches delivered, the last one especially. I kinda liked the fact that undertaker tooka tombstone, because, he was selling still being groggy the whole time, and it puts heat on Kane. No point in having Taker get the one-up already. All we needed was the reveal. And Sheamus and Orton had a real good match until the finish, and while I would usually complain abotu long matches with screwball finishes like that, in this case, it was the right finish. I'll take another one at Night Of Champions with a No-DQ based stipulation. And somewhat surprisingly, even with the fluff in there, the show of 6 matches ended, by my clock at 2 minutes to the hour. Anyway, hope you all had fun. I did. Now I'm off to bed. Have shows in the morning. Night all! © Copyright by WorldWrestlingInsanity.com WorldWrestlingInsanity.com is not
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