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WWE Elimination Chamber 2012 Real Time Report: Match By Match Results
By Aaron Wood
Feb 19, 2012 - 7:42 PM
Welcome to the
WWE Elimination Chamber 2012
Real Time Report
This report is being written in real time. You will need to hit refresh in order to see the latest results as they happen.
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LESS THAN SIX BUCKS!
Hey everyone and welcome to tonight's coverage of Elimination Chamber. And no, I don't mean my next trip to the can. I mean, I know it sounds like it should, but it's not. It's an actual match type.
Our opening video this evening opens with Wrestlemania. Point is, to get there, you have to go through the Elimination Chamber. This gives us a pretty awesome sequence where the chamber is built from the ground up. Literally nothing about Cena & Kane.
You announcers tonight are the three worst ones in the company. Cole, Booker & Lawler. Cole calls Booker a "Soon to be Hall Of Famer". I thought they didn't get along.
And as reported, we're starting with a chamber match as it celebrates it's tenth birthday. However, unlike as reported, it's the RAW match first. I guess that means there is an angle to take Santino Marella out of the Smackdown match, as it was reported the Smackdown match would open the show.
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler in a "Bugger, forgot to write something here." Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Title
Jericho is out first, but we already know he's last in. Miz is next out, so unlike The Rumble, he's not starting. And neither is Dolph Ziggler. And I realise everyone so far has a jacket of some sort. Jericho's lit up, Miz's was long and Dolph's was furry. And he's wearing pink tights. And R-Truth is next out to be podded. So the match will start with CM Punk, having to run the table, and Kofi Kingston.
Kofi, for some reason, stands in the middle of the ring and looks up at the roof. It's not a frigging ladder match. And as you may have seen or heard, Punk shaved. He also rips off Undertaker by closing the door behind him. He then poses in front of everyone, mocking Miz especially with a grumpy face.
they go back and forth, and Kingston goes for a leapfrog over the top rope and JUST makes it. Maffew just shit himself. They exchange a whole bunch of 2 counts. Gts is blocked and Kofi hits a back elbow, but only gets one. The Boom Drop is countered, but Punk is elevated onto the grating. He lands on his feet aand tries to suplex Kofi over, but he lands on his feet and dumpeds Punk over his back. Kofi goes for a catapult, but Punk amazingly revserses and catapultws Kofi into Jericho's pod.
Suplex to Kofi on the grate. They continue to go back and forth as this is the longest opening 5 minutes ever. As I type that, we get the countdown and in comes Dolph Ziggler.
Ziggler goes right for Punk and he rubs Punk's face in the chains before hitting a fireman's carry on the grate. He then does some excerises on the chain before dropping a leg to the back of Punk's head. That picked up 2. Stinger Splash for Kofi. One on Punk misses however. Punk hits Ziggler with a dropkick and Kofi then blocked a Dolph charge. Kofi and Punk both want to springboard in, do so, only for Ziggler to duck and for them to crash and burn. Great spot.
Punk gets 2 on Kingston as the next guy is counted down. And that guy is R-Truth. He gets booed in Milwaukee. They remember. He armdrags Ziggler onto the grate before doing a slingshot splash.
Back in thering, Truth picked up a 2 count before Punk went on the offense. Truth skinned the cat to the top rope, but it allowed Punk to hit the high knee. He then hit a superplex for a 2 count. Trouble In Paradise to Punk missed and he was sent out. Truth took a Punk slam and headed to Jericho's corner for the Randy Savage elbow. See ya, Truth.
R-TRUTH IS ELIMINATED
Punk & Ziggler exchange rollups. Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise to Punk, but Ziggler delays the pin and only gets 2. Kofi did a spiderman spot with Dolph, but Ziggler ducked. Kofi jumped back and hit a DDT on the grate. Miz is raring to go because everyone is down and he knows he's next. And that is right now.
Miz goes for Punk, hitting the corner clothesline before sending him into a pod. Kofi meets a pod too. Scoop slam to Kingston. he then elevates a charging Ziggler to the grate. Miz rolls Ziggler in the ring and picks up a 2 count. Kofi was driven back-first into the steel post, and while his charge was blocked, Mi shoved Kofi off the top back onto the grate. That picked up a 2 count. Miz charged abut was taken for the GTS. That was countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt. Punk countered that, but it was re-countered into a short DDT for a 2 count. Miz gets to choking Punk in the ropes.
Punk fights back and hits a neckbreaker.Punk charges Miz in the corner but it's blocked. Miz runs out into a scoop slam for a 2 count. Punk turns it into the Anaconda Vice, but the clock is running down. Jericho enters the ring, but Punk was watching for him. They have a staredown before going at it.
Jericho gets the better of it, hitting a low dropkick for a nearfall. Jericho looks for the Walls, but Punk spins out. GTS is set, but Jericho elbowed out and hit the bulldog. Lionsault connected, but it only got a 2 count. Ziggler rolled up Jericho for a 2 count. However, Dolph ate the Codebreaker for three.
DOLPH ZIGGLER IS ELIMINATED
Jericho went to work on Kofi with kicks before going back in the ring to deal with Punk.Punk caught a dropkick and catapulted Jericho onto the steel. Punk rammed the back of Jericho's head into a pod before tossing him into one. Jericho with a thumb to the eye before he hides in his pod, trying to keep the door closed. Punk got it open however. Jericho manages to get out, and he uses the door to injure the shoulder of Punk, leaving him laying in Jericho's pod.
Jericho decides to work over Kofi, but Kingston hit an awkward SOS on the grating, hurting himself just as much as Jericho. Miz tried to pick the bones, getting a 2 count on Jericho. he then put a whopping on Kingston in the corner before hitting some Muay Thai knees. The corner charge is blocked with the pendulum kick however. he went up top, but Miz cut him off. Kofi blocked the superplex and Punk came back. He hit Miz with a powerbomb, folding him up for a 2 count. Meanwhile, Kofi went to the top of a pod. He came down with a crossbody onto Punk & Miz. 2 count on Miz. Jericho came back and locked on an old school Liontamer Walls Of Jericho. Kingston eventually taps.
KOFI KINGSTON IS ELIMINATED
Jericho continues to work on Kofi, putting on a normal Boston Crab for a bit before tossing Kingston each way from Sunday before tossing him out the door. However, Punk kicked Jericho out of the Chamber (taking out a cameraman in the process).
They rule that Jericho can't continue and get doctors to him as the match stops. I don't know if it's real. The cameraman certainly wasn't planned. If it was planned, it's coming off as being very real. Indeed, a replay shows that Jericho smacked one of the lights at ringside. There's a noise that can be hear,d which is actually the light trying to work, as I know the equipment.
They eventually start the match again with Miz & Punk. The Reality Check is tried, but Punk hits a high kick to the head. Punk springboarded in, but Miz avoided it and hit the Skull Crushing Finale for a 2 count.
Miz works over Punk in the corner, mugging Punk and seemingly going a bit loony. Miz goes for a charge, but Punk avoids it and Miz goes through the corner into the pod. Go To Sleep ends it.
WINNER & STILL WWE CHAMPION: CM PUNK
Punk celebrates and as he leaves the cage, he smirks at the still laying Jericho.
We see the Miller Brewary. The announcers talk about the Smackdown Chamber match, as they talk about how Randy Orton was out and Santino was in. This leads to comedy backstage as Rocky music plays and Santino prepares himself some drinking eggs. Which he proceeds to vomit up. He seems happy however. TAKE HIM OUT NOW PLEASE!!! SOMEONE!!!
They mention the Kane/Cena match later on, but it's only to send it to a Cena profile video ahead of his match with The Rock, looking at him training and stuff. I don't know how set up this was, but everyone at the gym they're in is shown as a WWE developmental talent. That includes Big E Langston (who does a huge bench press) Tyler Black/Seth Rollins and a bunch of other guys.
Beth Phoenix vs. Tamina in a "coughKharmaplaceholdercough" match for the Divas Title
Beth is wearing a tartan belt, seemingly in deference to Roddy Piper as she watched some tapes and inspired her or something. Beth offers Tamina the chance to leave (and show us her underwear). Beth gets some mildly racist trash talk, which allows Tamina to start on top. Beth goes for a headbutt, but that wasn't working. Tamina hit one of her own, like her father, but Beth cut off Tamina going up top, shoving her to the floor.
Beth goes buck on the floor before rolling in to mock the Snuka family while the referee counts. She gets back in at 8, but Beth goes to work, taking aim at the back. She locks on a variation of the Dragon Sleeper, bending Tamina back. Tamina fights out of it and hits a Samoan Drop. Tamina goes up top, but Beth managed to cut her off again and hit a superplex. Tamina fires up once again with a series of chops and then a big splash. She hits a superplex, but rather than try a cover, she went up top once again for the Superfly Splash. This time, she hit it, but Beth kicked out at 2.
Tamina went back up top, but Beth rolled out of the ring. Tamina rolled Beth in the ring, but Beth caught her, sending her into the corner, before hitting an immediate Glam Slam for the win.
WINNER & STILL CHAMPION: BETH PHOENIX
We cut quite quickly to a Be A Show Tolerance And Respect advert. So no Kharma tonight to signal her intentions.
Back to Santino's Rocky training he's now badly punching some meat. He end up giving it the Cobra.
We cut backstage to Josh Mathews who is backstage with Jericho as he's being looked over by doctors. I guess it was an incredibly well done angle that looked 100% real then.
Justin Roberts brings out John Laurinaitis, who comes out with David Otunga. I should note, I love Otunga's character so much that I bought a thermos cup like his. Johnny Ace shits up his lines as he says he was kept on as interim GM of RAW before talking about Teddy Long's shittiness at his job. THANKFULLY, Alberto Del Rio comes out making his return.
Del Rio himself riles against Teddy Long, calling him a Perro and that he was a corrupt, good for nothing. And he had a great idea. Johnny Ace should be PERMANENT GM for RAW AND Smackdown. This brings out Mark Henry, and I doubt he's sticking up for Thaddeus.
Nope, Long's a bully who assaulted HIM. And just like the good guy he is, Henry fell for it and wrongly suspended for it. He tells Laurinaitis they've seen eye to eye but he wasn't a bully and he didn't abuse his power. And he too was throwing his weight behind Johnny Ace for both shows.
And now it's CHRISTIAN! And guess what, he's no Long fan either. While Orton was sitting home faking a concussion, Sheamus broke his ankle, Big Show his neck and yet Christian was forced to compete. And so he was voting for Johnny Ace as well...
Johnny Ace brings everyone in for a picture that Otunga takes, before "Myspacing" himself into it. That was hilarious. So that's Del Rio, Otunga, Henry & Christian on one side of a Wrestlemania match. Who can Teddy get?
More Santino as he goes for the run up the steps. Not exactly the ones in Philly... And if Santino is being taken out, they've not got long as the Chamber is descending...
Josh Mathews is backstage with Big Show. Josh wonders if given Show's shitty Wrestlemania record, is it imperative he wins tonight for momentum. Show concedes it's not stellar, saying that he had to win tonight and all he could think about.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Santino Marella in an "Or should that read "Santino Marella?" there" Elimination Chamber match for the World Title
Khali is out first, so he's a pod person. He's followed by Cody. And here comes Santino. Continuity error here as Santino was all sweaty in his training, but is dry as a bone now. The last pod contains Daniel Bryan, which means Wade Barrett & Big Show start.
Big Show goes right for Daniel Bryan's pod for some trash talk. Wade goes for a wasitlock. Pretty much fails at it. Show lays in some shots and chops before running Wade down with a shoulderblock. Wade makes a comeback and sends Big Show into the door a couple of times, nearly busting it open. Back in the ring, Wade goes for Show's legs.some more. Big Show makes a comeback, and sends Wade to the grate. He hits the Hog Log in the ring as the countdown hits. Big Show goes for Bryan's pod, hoping it's him. But it's not. It's Cody Rhodes.
Cody is rather reticent to get into the match, but he goes for Show, only to get chipped in the corner and generally dominated. Big Show misses a charge into the chains, but then as Cody goes up, he rocket launches Cody into the cage wall. Wade avoids the chokeslam and takes out Big Show's knee again, going after it once more.
Wade & Cody combine to do the High/Low on Big Show. However, Wade clotheslines Cody out to the grate before tossing him into the chain wall. They fight it out on the grate some more, with Barrett getting the upperhand, sending Cody into a pod and then into the ringpost. rhodes comes back and manages to drive Wade into the wall before stomping on him. The next person in is Santino Marella.
Santino runs wild on Wade, but as he celebrates, he comes face to face with Big Show, who shows no mercy, working Santino over and drawing him some boos. However, Cody takes out the knee again. Show fires back on Cody and Wade, dumping them out onto the grate together. He points at Daniel Bryan before going for a double chokeslam. However, they block it and hit a double suplex on the grate. Cody and Wade spend so much time trying to roll Big Show int the ring that Cody & Wade turn on each other. Cody gets the upperhand, hitting the moonsault for 2.
Rhodes goes for Marella next, as Santino gets whipped into the wall. Cody snaps the Cobra hand off the chain wall and works over the hand as the timer ticks down again. And the penultimate guy is... Great Khali!
Khali hits anything that comes towards him. Khali Bombs for Cody and Wade. Overhand chop for Santino. However, Big Show spears him for the three count.
GREAT KHALI IS ELIMINATED
Everyone but Big Show is now dead, and so Show waits for Bryan's pod to open. Big Show climbs the corner and reaches into the pod to try and get at bryan. He breaks the chains apart to try and make a hole for to get at Bryan. He eventually rips a whole big enough to get himself into the locked pod. AWESOME spot. Big Show goes to work as much as he can on Bryan before the timer runs down and the door opens. Big Show tosses him right back through the perspex/lexsan door of his own pod. Big Show summarily tosses Bryan into the ring, working Bryan over. He hits a chokeslam, but Wade comes in with a big boot to Show. Wade with the knees in the ropes and a big boot. However, Santino rolls up Wade for a 2 count.
Wade hits a big boot for 2. Cody hits Show with a pair of Beautiful Disaster kicks and a DDT. Wade hit a flying elbow and Cody makes a cover to take out Big Show!
BIG SHOW IS ELIMINATED
Santino rolls up the celebrating Cody for the three count!
CODY RHODES IS ELIMINATED
Before he leaves, Cody hits the CrossRhodes on Santino. Wade picks the bones, but Santino kicks out at 2. Wade takes Satino to the grate and traps Marella's arms in the chain wall, hitting some knees and then a big boot to the trapped Italian. Bryan botched his flip over in the corner, but got Wade in a crucifix for a 2 count before going for the LeBell Lock. Bryan with kicks to the chest in the corner, before putting Wade up top. Wade cut Bryan off and crotched him before hitting a clothesline. Wade hit Bryan with a powerbomb into the chain wall, but Bryan barely made it there. Wade then shut the door on Bryan's head. picking up a 2 count in the ring.
Santino got back in the ring, but was knocked down again. Wade wanted Wasteland on Santino, but he held onto the top rope. Santino was dumped to the grate, where he ate another big boot. Wade with shots to the kidneys, but Bryan hit Wade with a flying knee off the top before running Wade into a pair of pods. Bryan went up top, but Wade cut him off. Wade looked for Wasteland off the middle rope, but Marella broke that up. Santino looked for a superplex, but Wade fought him off and down. However, Wade missed a flying elbow. Bryan hit a diving headbutt and Santino picked the bones for the three count.
WADE BARRETT IS ELIMINATED
Daniel Bryan can't believe his luck, being left with the apparent scrub, However, Santino gets a judo throw right away. However, Bryan fires back with the running dropkick in the corner and kicks to the chest.
Bryan gets a 2 count, which annoys Bryan somewhat. Bryan crashes and burns on a charge, and Santino rolls him up for a 2 count. Bryan misses the divins headbutt, allowing Santino to load up the Cobra. He hits it! KICK OUT AT TWO! Bryan looks for the LeBell Lock right away, but Sanitno manages to fight it, but is brought back down and he had to tap! Thank God for that. I honestly thought he was doing it for a moment...
WINNER & STILL WORLD CHAMPION: DANIEL BRYAN
Thank the lord for that, but suffice to say, despite the btiching, even from me, Santino was no embarrassment.
As Bryan is giving it the "YES!" treatment, Sheamus makes his way to the ring and makes a bee-line for Bryan. Bryan charged, but Sheamus caught the kick and hit Finlay's Celtic Cross. I think we have a Wrestlemania match set officially, people.
Backstage, Hornswoggle is in cheese-heaven. All this is is a "Cut the cheese" joke with Natalya, who inevitably blows off. She runs off as Justin Gabriel comes in to see ihis buddy. In the background, Jack Swagger and Vickie appear, leading to Jack Cheese and Cottage cheese (Vickie's legs) jokes. Teddy Long walks in and makes a match between Swagger & Gabriel. And Swagger is pro-Johnny Ace too. Teddy likes the idea of one man on both shows, but it should be him. Long also says the match is next and for the US Title.
We cut to an advert for The Rock's new DVD set out this week.
Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel in a "Well, I didn't have this on my list of likely impromtptu matches" match for the US Title
Swagger gets the upperhand early on as he hits a Swagger Bomb for a 2 count before doing some pushups. Gabriel comes back whirling round and hitting an Eye Of The Hurricane for a 2 count. Gabriel hits a corner splash before a springboard corssbody for a 2 count. Low dropkick to Swagger's head. Swagger powdered out and hit a corkscrew crossbody. OUtside, Gabriel went for a kick, but Swagger caught the leg and posted it. Back in the ring, he took the leg out and locked on the Ankle lock for the win.
WINNER & STILL US CHAMPION: JACK SWAGGER
Pretty awesome advert for Rock vs. Cena at Mania.
The announcers, well, announce that Undertaker will be on RAW tomorrow to call out HHH. They then send it to a hype video for the main event Ambulance match, giving a shoutout to the Kane/Shane McMahon match in doing so.
John Cena vs. Kane in a "C'mon John, get revenge for Shane McMahon!" Ambulance match
Cena starts off hot and they head right up to the entrance area where Cena beckons the Ambulance back. However, Kane takes over and uses a gurney on Cena. Cena blocks being sent in, and uses a back-board on Kane. They eventually battle their way back to the ring. Kane is sent into the steps, but he comes back and hits a big boot in the ring. Cena fights Kane off, and Kane is sent out, but he scores with a simple right hook as Cena is in the ropes.
Cena fights back, but he bounces off the ropes right into a side slam. Kane heads up top and goes for the flying clothesline, but Cena caught Kane with a dropkick. This started a Cena comeback. Shoulderblock, Protobomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena wants the AA, but Kane rakes the face before going for his smothering claw. Cena goes limp, but they're FAR away from the ring. But Kane came prepared. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair! Cena gets put in it and Kane takes him for a walk.
Cena comes to, but Kane locks the claw on again. This time, Cena powers out of the chair and breaks the hold. Cena sends Kane into the ambulance before fetching the wheelchair. He folds it up and hits Kane with it. He waves for some people to clear out the way before sitting Kane in the chair. He sends Kane into some of the touring equipment. This was such a blow for Kane that he immediately laid out Cena with a laptop. Cena sees Kane's laptop and borrows a fan's chair, jabbing it into Kane's gut. They fight by the lighting and sound guys.
They fight back around to ringside, where Cena uses a mic on Kane's head before joking to Booker, asking if he was in the Fave Five. Cena then cleared the Spanish table, using a monitor on Kane. He then used the top steps on Big Red before moving the bottom half of the steps in front of the Spanish table. He hit Kane once again with the top half before putting them on the bottom again. Cena picked Kane up and started climbing up the steel steps. However, as he got up the top, Kane slipped out of the grasp and hit a chokeslam on Cena through the Spanish table.
Kane sods off to get the gourney to pick up Cena. He dumps Cena on it and makes it to the ambiulance doors. Cena gets dumped in, but he kicks the door back in Kane's face and fires up. He uses various doors on Kane before climbing to the top of the cab. Cena actively taunts Kane up, where he counters the chokeslam and hits an Attitude Adjustment off the ambulance roof onto some hitherto unseen staging. Cena picks up the dead kane and dumps him in the vehicle and shuts the doors to win.
WINNER: JOHN CENA
Cena returns to the ring to celebrate while we see the ambulance leaving. Cena ends the show posing in front of the Wrestlemania sign on the camera shot. I wonder if he's got a match...
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