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WWE No Way Out 2012
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So, today is Father's Day, and since I am about the only person on the WWI Staff who have neither a father to celebrate nor have spored any progeny of my own to celebrate me, then I'm gonna be taking y'all through the evenings events including, very shortly, the YouTube pre-show, which will feature David Otunga vs. Brodus Clay. So check back in about 10 minutes when things start getting funky!
Scott Stanford and Matt Striker are on hand for your Pre-Show tonight as we take a camerashot through the concourse. They shill the PPV via the website, rather than contacting your cable company. Interesting. They shill the PPV card as it stands.
We cut backstage to see AW with his charges. It seems like Epico & Primo are getting impatient. And apparently, they missed their window to get their Tag Titles back. AW notes he's not their manager. Rosa is. He's just the promoter. Apparently, there is going to be a Fatal Four Way match to determine contenders. They have four teams to contend?!?! Well, yes! The match is Epico & Primo vs. The Usos vs. Darren Young & Titus O'Neil vs. Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel, and is set for the PPV.
We go back to Smackdown and see David Otunga's attack on Brodus Clay's leg. And with that...
Brodus Clay vs. David Otunga in a "Well, if the YouTube matches are gonna be short, may as well make it a Brodus match..." match
Brodus is walking and moving a big gingerly than he does, not getting into the full swing of the funk. He has the targeted lef braced up. Otunga goes for the leg, but clay stops him and works him over in the corner. He stretches Otunga out and headbutts him in the back. T-Bone suplex puts Otunga in the corner again, but as the ref brings him back, Otunga finally manages to get the leg. He goes to work on it much like he did on Smackdown, ripping at the brace and strapping.
With Clay on his knees, Otunga hits a shoulderblock for a 2 count. Toehold by Otunga gets kicked off, but Otunga managed to clip the leg again, allowing him to stay in control. Otunga works a front facelock but clay stands up and throws him off. he starts a comeback with a shoulerblock and headbutt to the chest. Exploder suplex sends Otunga out of the ring. Otunga is up, but decides to not bother anymore and stands there and takes the 10 count.
WINNER BY COUNTOUT: DAVID OTUNGA
Clay is annoyed, but he'll take the win, as Clay dances as much as he can, although Otunga clearly has some machinations running in his mind, although that doesn't involve anything now.
We send it to a favourite RAW moment and it's the HHH 2002 return at MSG. Striker once again shill the digital way or ordering the PPV, noting it can be viewed on the iPad and iPhone. One day, we'll be ordering through Youtube...
And now comes 10 minutes of hype videos and shilling. See you at the top of the PPV.
As it goes, we get a backstage interview with John Cena. He says he knows it's all on the line. he noted his Twitter quote about leaving blew up and everyone was waiting for tonight. He noted the irony of the Wrestlemania venue was so close by. But we knew that after tonight, someone would get fired and the foundations of the WWE would be shaken. After No Way out, the face of the WWE will change. There's no way out of that. Good, serious promo...
Our opening video is all about the tuxedo match. It's truly amazing that they got so much interesting stuff to hype such a match...
ONLY JOKING! It's all about Big Show & Cena, and how Big Show is a big nasty bastard once again.
The pyro & ballyhoo is blown and Cole, Lawler and T are your announcers.
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler in a "To be fair, Ziggler has more of a shot than Del Rio did..." match for the World Heavyweight Title
Another 18 second match givern it's positioning??? No "Excuse Me" action from Vickie tonight, as Dolph comes right out. Shit just got real, brothers. It gets the main event introductions, and Ziggler seems liked this evening. Ziggler talks with Vickie, gets a good luck kiss and...
THE BROGUE KICK MISSES!!! Yep, they re-did the entrie bit, but Ziggler ducked it out of the way. However, it is Sheamus who takes control with a headlock take over. Ziggler scores with a nice dropkick, but Sheamus gets up, sends Dolph off the ropes and knocks Ziggler down. Ziggler pops up and looks for the sleeper, but is placed on the top rope to break. Ziggler slapped Sheamus, but got shoved to the floor for his trouble. Back in the ring, the slingshot Battering Ram picks up a 2 count.
Sheamus catches a crossbody, but while Ziggler slipped out, he took a back elbow on a charge and a neckbreaker for a 2 count. Dolph went to the apron, with Sheamus joining him in the corner. However, Dolph managed to yank the champ into the ringpost. A leaping DDT picked up a 2 count. Such an odd move, it confused the announcers. Ziggler locks in a chinlock, adding the headstand for funsies.
Sheamus manages to power up, and looks for the rolling senton, but Ziggler turns it into another DDT for a pretty close 2 count. Back to the chinlock, this time with a bodyscissors. Sheamus gets out, but Ziggler scores with a rol up for 2, but grabs the ropes, which the ref catches. Sheamus gets his own roll up for 2, but then Dolph gives him a neckbreaker for a 2 count. Ziggler with the bodyscissors again, but again Sheamus gets up and punches his way out.
Sheamus blasts Bumpy McGee with a couple of shots, but he misses a knee lift and Ziggler puts the sleeper on. He gets dumped to the apron, but Ziggler goes up top with a crossbody. They botch the spot but cover it well, with Dolph ending up blocking White Noise and hitting the ZigZag for a very close 2 count. Sheamus ended up on the top after pulling himself up, but Dolph cut him off with the top rope X Factor for another very close 2 count.
Ziggler wants the ZigZag again, but Sheamus avoids it and hits the Irish Curse. The clubs to the chest on the apron are next, but Ziggler ducked a clothesline and looked for the Sleeper. White Noise works this time, and Sheamus wants a booting as the pro-Ziggler crowd boo the hell out of him. They chant for the Brogue Kick though and it connects for the three in this great opener.
WINNER & STILL WORLD CHAMPION: SHEAMUS
We cut backstage to see Vince walking backstage as Johnny Ace in a BRIGHT RED SUIT catches up to him. He pleads with Vince not to go out to ringside with his concussion, but he blows him off and goes into his office. Josh wants an interview, but Johnny snaps that he deals with pressure, unlike Josh the ex-wannabe wrestler who can't announce. What a douche.
Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez in a "What are the odds that the Cobra sock has a tux on..." Tuxedo match
Santino has a powder blue 70's prom tuxedo on. Ricardo is in his usual attire. They do a fashion parade to start with, with the crowd decidedly behind Santino. They do some shoving, but Ricardo rips the suit. So Santino rips some of it back. Santino gives Ricardo an atomic drop and robs him of his jacket, doing a matador spot that sends Rodriguez out of the ring. Ricardo runs back in, taking drop toeholds to lose his shoes. Ricardo loses his shirt, literally, and then takes a hiptoss. Santino pulls out the sock, but Ricardo gets it off.
Ricardo manages to rob Marella of his trousers, socks and shoes. And Santino reveals a Cobra sock on foot! And he kips up to kick Ricardo in the throat, beofre pulling his pants off for the win.
WINNER: SANTINO MARELLA
It's revealed that Alberto Del Rio is on the ass of Ricardo's tighty-whiteys. It was worth a few yuks...
Matt Striker was with CM Punk. So, AJ...what's up with that? Punk denies any relationship with her, and it's all about the WWE Title, and he had to be focused as he's facing a great technician in Bryan and a monster in Kane. AJ wanders up. She wishes him luck and kisses him on the cheeks. However, Punk said luck was for losers. Striker pokes his mic in for a comments, but AJ crazy-eyes him down.
Christian vs. Cody Rhodes in a "i wonder if Cody's now going to constantly ask for "one more match"..." match for the Intercontinental Title
Collar and elbow ends up with Cody getting a shoulderblock on Christian. Cody pounds Christian down, but he pops up and gets a couple of shoulderblocks of his own. Cody ends up on the apron, so Christian slips out, pulls him down and then hits a flying baseball slide. However, after faking Cody on a dive, Cody pulled the legs out from under Christian, banging him on the apron. Cody bends the arm back and stomps on the elbow, thus beginning to work over the arm. Christian slides out of the ring and looks to have Cody's nuts meet the ringpost, but Rhodes pulled his legs in, and it was Christian who got clonked.
Cody with a Gordbuster for a 2 count. Cody puts on an incredibly wacky form of a keylock, but Christian manages to get out, although Cody stays in control. Christian looked for the tornado DDT out of the corner, but Cody shoved him to the floor. However, after going out to join him, Cody was sent into the steel steps before being hit with a nice tornado DDT out on the floor. They both beat the 10 count, and Christian looks to build momentum with a missile dropkick off the second rope for a 2 count. Cody is dropped into the ropes, but Cody had the uppercut scouted. Christian went up top and hit a crossbody, but it was rolled through for a Rhodes 2 count. Christian looked for the sunset flip out of the corner, but Cody pulled him out of the corner.
He went to the second rope, but mugged for the crowd, so Christian leapt up and hit a headscissors for a 2 count. However, Rhodes snapped the arm down again, picking up a 2 count. The Killswitch was blocked, and Cody hit Bob Holly's signature moves for a 2 count. Rhodes loocked like he wanted to try the Killswitch, but Christian countered with a reverse DDT. He set for the spear, but Cody slipped out of the ring. After a bit of bat and mouse, Cody managed to sit down on the sunset flip for 2, but out of nowhere Christian hit the Killswitch. However, it was only for a close 2 count.
Christian went up top, but Cody cut him off. He was knocked back down, but Cody got his knees up on the frog splash. The Beautiful Disaster was missed twice, and the second time, Cody turned around into a spear for the win.
WINNER & STILL CHAMPION: CHRISTIAN
We see Metlife Stadium all lit up outside, across the road from the Izod Center. Maybe I will be in there come April???
Epico & Primo vs. The Usos vs. Darren Young & Titus O'Neil vs. Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel in a "It's gonna be a while until you get that title shot, lads!" Fatal Four Way match to become #1 Contenders to the Tag Titles
Titus & Jey Uso start things off, and O'Neil & Young bugger up a double team when Jey rolls out of the way allowing the Usos to gain control. Young falls back into the Puerto Rican corner as Epico tags himself him. But the Usos control him too. Epico tags out to Gabriel. Uso & justin do some flippy floopys but end up in a standoff. Jimmy blind tags in hits a snap Samoan Drop and wipes everyone out, but Titus tags himself in and picks up a 2 count on Gabriel. Young & O'Neil's double-team Gordbuster works this time, before Darren puts on a chinlock. However, Justin gets out and hits a roundhouse kick. Young ends up tagging Primo as the Colon take turns on the South African. Epico hits a series of back suplexes, but it only gets a 2 count.
Primo comes in and sweeps the legs before hitting a leg drop for a 2 count. Scoop slam by Primo, but a sprinboard senton misses. Gabriel tags in Tyson, and he spingboard dropkicks in, running wild on Primo. He comes off the top with a blockbuster for a 2 count. The match breaks down a bit as Gabriel takes out Epico. Primo with the Backstabber, as Titus breaks that pin. The Usos dive out onto a bunch of dudes. Back in the ring, Young blind-tags himself in, but he's sent onto the dogpile outside. Primo heads up, but Tysoncuts him off and headscissors himself and Primo into everyone else in the match. Great spot. The legal men are supposed Darren Young and Primo. In the ring, after AW rolls Primo in the ring, Darren hits a lungblower for the three count.
WINNERS: THE PRIMETIME PLAYERS
AW Stopped Epico from breaking up the pin. And guess what, AW is all about the PrimeTime Players now! The Colons get in AW's face and knock him on his ass, leading to Titus and Darren saving their new boss. They take the Colons out and the trio celebrate in the ring.
We cut to an advert that is all about how awesome Alberto Del Rio's life is, but it's just a comedy advert for Money In The Bank next month.
It looks like it's HHH time next, as they send it to a recap package of Lesnar breaking Hunter's arm.
HHH comes out to a nice reception, without any sort of arm brace on. HHH said that he's spent half his life in the ring. Mostly because it's all he ever wanted to do, and partly because he didn't want a real job. But here he is with a real job and a corporate one at that. And for the last 5 weeks since Heyman put 2 lawsuits on him, he's had to deal with a bunch of crap, and this annoyed him before he wasn't a corporate guy. He was a fighter. That's what he does. So Trips had an idea. A good idea, if it suited one guy. Heyman said Lesnar wants to fight. And Lesnar said he's a fighter and ass kicker. The last time he saw Lesnar in the ring, he broke trips arm, but the arm was feeling a lot better, and in a few more weeks, it should be 100%. Some more weeks after that, he'd be good to do. And that puts us in the summer. So how about they get rid of the lawyers, lawsuits and legal junk. Get rid of the fat, balding manager. HHH & Brock. Doing what they do. They;re fighters and he wants to fight Brock. BAD. Lesnar vs. HHH...1 on 1...Summerslam. Crowd seems to like the idea. So there's the challenge. Or Lesnar could be happy being a quitter...Whatevs. Hunter will be waiting to find out.
We went backstage to see Daniel Bryan punching thin air. And guess who was there?!?! AJ! She said she wasn't trying to distract him, but after everything they'd been through she still wasn't completely over him. And she wanted to wish him good luck.
Layla vs. Beth Phoenix in a "Wihtout Kelly Kelly around, I'd get used to this..." match for the Divas Title
They exchange waistlocks as the announcers get misty-eyed about how this was the venue where Eddie Guerrero won his first World Title. Beth takes control and mocks Layla saying she couldn't lace Beth's boots. Layla takes out Beth's legs and steals her headband, putting it on to mock Beth. They play chase, and back in the ring, Layla gets a hairmare. Beth turtles up as Layla comes in, but Layla eventually gets in a low dropkick.
However, after kicking Beth from the apron, Beth knocked Layla off the ropes to the floor. Layla met the guardrail before heaidng back in. Beth stretched Layla out, but when she got back to her feet, Beth threw her down. While a charge into the ropes was avoided, Beth hit a backbreaker before stretching Layla over the knee. Layla kneed her way out of it, but then had to block the Glam Slam, kicking out of the corner and getting a pin for 2. And roll up picked up another. As did a crossbody. However, Beth planted Layla with a powerslam for a 2 count.
Beth picked Layla up, pressing her over her head. However, Layla shifted and hit a DDT for a close 2 count. Out of nowhere, Layla hit the Layout for the win.
WINNER & STILL CHAMPION: LAYLA
Now it's time for AJ to get in Kane's head. AJ nervously tries to get her words out, but can only wish Kane luck, pecking him on the cheek. However, he pulled her back in for a proper snog. The way Kane had to bend down to make her level...
Hunico vs. Sin Cara in a "Someone found they timed out this show short..." match
Lillian managed to announce the right Mexican this month, and Hunico took the early advantage. A tope con hilo scored a 2 count before Hunico took Cara into the corner for some chops before the rolling dropkick. Hunico locked on a chinlock. He locked on the Gory Special, but Sin Cara armdragged out of it. Hunico hit a backbreaker for a 2 count, before going back to the chinlock. Hunico hit a nice roll up into a slam for another 2 count. Hunico rolled through a roll up and hit a head kick for 2 as the crowd chant for Zack Ryder. Sin Cara fought out of a chinlock but took a short powerbomb for another 2 count.
Sin Cara started a comeback, hitting the kick on the apron and a couple of dropkicks. A mule kick sent Hunico into the corner, but Hunico block the charge. However, Sin Cara, out of nowhere, got the La Mistica face slam for the win.
WINNER: SIN CARA
They talk abotu some of the history in the area and how Wrestlemania would be across the street next year. They send it to a hype video for the WWE Title match.
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in a "So, just who is AJ banging?" Triple Threat match for the WWE Title
Kane is out first. Suffice to say, Daniel Bryan is rather liked here. But then the crowd then immediately chant loud for Punk too. Imagine if this was one on one... No AJ as of yet.
Kane punches down both men at the bell, but mainly taking aim at Punk. They end up teaming up with kicks on Kane after he teased chokeslamming them both. They hit a double dropkick to kane, but can't let the other get a pin in. Kane powders out and lets them go at it. Punk sends Bryan out, but as he runs for a dive, Kane cuts him off and downs him for a 2 count. Bryan knees Kane out of the ring before hitting a suicide dive out. Punk seems to think that's a hella fun, so spingboards out onto the pair of them. Back in the ring, Punk pins Bryan for a 2 count. Kane pulls Punk out the ring and sends him, back-first, into the guardrail. Bryan goes for the knee off the apron, but Kane uppercuts him. Kane rams Punk's spine into the ringpost before stretching his ribs round it. Kane picks up a 2 count in the ring before whipping him hard into the corner.
Kane hit the basement dropkick for a 2 count before locking on a bodyscissors. Punk elbowed his way out of it, before blocking a Kane charge. However, Bryan was right behind him with the running dropkick. However, a charge at Kane ended with the side slam for a 2 count. Bryan hitting the jumping clothesline, but it didn't take Kane down. A kick right in the face did though, and sent him outside, so he could work over Punk himself.
Bryan headed up top, but Punk cut him off. He wanted the superplex, but Kane pulled Punk down and smacked Bryan in the chops. Kane & Punk couldn't agree on who should superplex Bryan, so eventually, Bryan just missile dropkicked the pair of them. Bryan deals out chest kicks to both Kane & Punk. Kane is kicked in the head, but Punk ducks his with a rollup for 2. Punk with the high knee in the corner to both Kane & Bryan. Clothesline to bryan as the bulldog was pushed off and a neckbreaker to Kane for 2. Snap powerslam to Bryan gets Punk a nearfall.
Punk is cut off up top, and Bryan wants the Superplex. Kane gets Bryan on his shoulders so Punk ends up hitting the springboard clothesline, LOD-style, to Bryan, picking uy a 2 count. Punk heads up top and wants the Savage flying elbow, which connects. That only picks up 2 though. Punk calls for the GTS, but Kane comes back in and boots Punk down, sending Bryan out of the ring and Kane a 2 count.
Kane works Punk over in the corners, but Punk ducks out of the way on one, beofr ebeing sent to the apron. He kicks Kane in the head, but this time, the Savage Elbow misses. Bryan goes up top and hit the diving headbutt. Suffice to say, unlike Randy Savage, Chris Benoit isn't cheered for... Kane is sent into the guardrail by Bryan, but is caught by Punk for a 2 count. Kick to the head sets up the Yes Lock. And he has it in good. TOO good, as once again, Bryan pulls back too far and gets rolled up for 2. Punk gets a quick GTS, but Kane pulls Bryan out of the ring. The Flying Clothesline connects for Kane, and he has chokeslams on his mind. Punk counters with a DDT for 2. Punk heads up a third time, and the flying elbow picks up another 2 count. GTS for Kane is called for, but he can't get Kane up, and ends up running into a Big Boot. Kane hits the chokeslam, but Punk kicked out a 2 count. Kane can't believe it and he chases the referee for a bit. The Tombstone is called for, but Punk slipped out the back. However, as Punk pushed Kane off, he pushed Kane right into AJ, who suddenly appeared from nowhere! Punk kicked Kane in the head and then scooped Kane up on the comeback and hit the GTS for the three count!
WINNER & STILL WWE CHAMPION: CM PUNK
Kane is the first one up, and he stands over the downed AJ. We see Kane being shoved into AJ, this distraction allowing Punk to hit the GTS> Punk is still unaware of AJ's presence at all as Kane scoops his beloved up and carries her to the back. However AJ looks up, unbeknownst to Kane, and smiles at Punk, as she was clearly less than dead. They spend so long celebrating Punk's win, they have to start the song again!
Advert noting RAW's expansion to three hours starting with RAW 1000 on July 23rd.
Ryback vs. Dan Delaney & Rob Grymes in a "Oh screw this, I'm not even finishing this headli
So anyway. Summerslam advert. In LA again. this allows the announcers to talk about HHH's challenge to Lesnar. The cage makes it's entrance, sending it to a hype video for the main event of the evening.
John Cena vs. Big Show in a "Bye bye John! Whichever John it is..." Cage match
Johnny Ace takes his seat at ringside first. He's followed by Big Show. Next man out is Vinny Mac, who is followed by Cena. Almost shocked those last two weren't reversed. Cena gets more of a mixed response as he has recently, but it's not entirely negatory. Big Show tries and immediate chokeslam, but Cena blocks it. Cena gets downed anyway, and sent into the cage wall a couple of times. Cena pulls himself up between the ropes and cage, but Big Show's WMD is avoided and Show punches the cage. He wasn't hurt enough though to pull Cena down on a climb. MASSIVE chop to the chest in the corner. Another is avoided and Cena hits a dropkick, but Show cuts off a door escape. Cena got a couple of shots in, but Show clotheslined him down. Cena meets the cage again, as Show seems quite pleased with himself.
Big Show started shouting at Cena that the crowd didn't care, so he should just quit. Big Show squashed Cena in the corner, despite him trying to avoid it. However, after a whip into the corner, Cena got the boots up and hit a bulldog for a quick 2 count. Cena went for a climb and made the top, but Show was able to cut him off and bring him back in. Show ended up crotched and Cena followed up with a shoulderblock. You know, rather than go for the door. Inddeed, Cena climbed again, but Show caught him, ramming his back into the cage wall before hitting the old Alley Oop for a 2 count. Big Show set up Cena and looked for the Vader Bomb, which connected for another 2 count. Show grabs Cena by the throat beofre climbing up to the top. He bounced Cena's head off the cage and sent Cena down. Big Shwo walked along the top rope, but missed a HUGE elbow drop (that bowed the ring on impact) when Cena managed to roll out the way. Big Show went for the door, but Cne managed to grab a leg and leverage his way into pulling Big Show back in. Cena dived for the door himself, but Show pulled him back in. The chokeslam was avoided and after being sent into the cage wall, Show was hit with a shoulderblock for a 2 count.
Cena went for the door again, but Laurinaitis shut the door. Vince cut him off and opened it. Johnny shoved Vince into the door and thus into Cena. A chokeslam picked up a close 2 count. Big Show wanted the WMD, but ti was Scott Armstrong who took the shot when Cena ducked. However, the AA was blocked with the WMD delivered on the second attempt. With literally everyone down in and out of the ring except for Big Show, he decides to walk out the door. However, Brodus Clay appears with a chair and begs Big Show to walk out. Big Show tries to mis-direct Clay, but he's fast to it. Clay beckons to the back, and Alex Riley and Santino Marella come out, but get knocked off the cage wall. Zack ryder suffers the same fate. Kofi comes out and meets Big Show up top and knocks Big Show back down to the mat. So now everyone is down. Cena pulls himself towards the door along the bottom rope. Big Shwo comes too as well however, and Big Show cuts him off. However, Cena manages to hit the AA! But Cena is down and out of it as well.
Cena covers but there's no referee. Cena goes for a climb, while Show goes for the door. Johnny Ace tries using his crutch to stop Cena, but this means the door isn't guarded anymore. However, with Johnny out the way, Cena manages to fall down to the floor JUST before Big Show slips out of the ring!
WINNER: JOHN CENA
Clay still has Johny, but lets him go into Cena's Arms for the AA. Vince gets on the mic and fires him before Cena gives Laurinaiis the AA through the table. Cole suddenly changed hiis complete tune and said how bad Johnny Ace was at his job and how he never supported him. Cena climbed back in the ring to celebrate as the show ended.