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WWE WrestleMania 26
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The Body Returns To ClubWWI.com For His Second Shoot Interview with James Guttman!
Eric Bischoff's Absurd Lie About Him, Surprise That Anyone Gives Bischoff a Shred of Credibility, The Line He Wishes He Said To Vince McMahon on Raw, Telling Vince That His Father Didn't Trust Him, Whether He'll Return To WWE, Why He Laughs At Hulk Hogan, Hogan vs. Flair in TNA, The Backstage Reason For His Split With Adrian Adonis, Realizing His Infamous Opie and Anthony Interview Was a Set-Up, Why Howard Stern Is Better Than Them, Playing Heel, Being Edited By The Huffington Post, The Original Ending To His First Book, Why Assassins Have Three Names, 9/11 Conspiracies, His Son, The Fourth Branch of U.S. Government, "American Conspiracies," The Second Season of His TruTV Show, and More
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Joel Gertner
(47 Minutes)
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His Return To Wrestling, Getting Caught In The Middle of Dudley Boy Near-Riots in ECW, His Infamous JFK Jr. Promo, Being Jeered By TV Guide For It, The Unfinished Plans For Joel's Babyface Run, The Story of Why He Didn't Wear a Shirt, Why The New ECW Had To End, Joel's Biggest Fan - His Grandmother, Taking His Promos Over The Line, The Night Paul Heyman Got Upset With Him, Over-Written Promos, The Early Days of Joey Jaguar, The Man Joels Considers The Master of Wrestling Promos, His Connection To Austin Idol, His Brief Time in WWE and TNA, Roddy Piper, MXW, Atlas Security, Cyrus, NXT, and More
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GLORIOUS!
Hello may Gathering...
IT'S WRESTLE-FREAKIN'-MANIA BABY!!!!!
That is all. See you at the top of the hour for the show...
Here we go!!! We cut to the arena for the National Anthem. Fly past the stadium by some jet fighters before J-RO~! introduces some woman called Fantasia to sing "America The Beautiful". No idea who the hell she is, but she's apparently Grammy-nominated. It's sad when one of your employees is Jennifer Hudson's baby-daddy, and yet, they can't get her in... A screechy for my tastes. Sounds a bit like it might if Rachel Ray were singing. Seriously. Is Rachel Ray a dude? She sounds like it half the time in the 30 Minute Meals episodes we get over here...
Our opening video is next. It's about a once in a year show, but for some people, they may only get one shot at it. Starts out kinda basic, but still pretty damn great. It's all about "the moment".
And HOLY SH!T LOOK AT THE STAGE!!!! It's frigging huge!!!! Much pyro and ballyhoo and I'm almost crippled by goosebumps right now.
ShoMiz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth in a "The Miz & Morrison finally make it to a Tag Title match on the main show... Only a year late..." match for the Unified Tag Team Titles
Truth comes out first and, well, I'm sure it sounds loud in the stadium, but the crowd reaction is coming across as I'd hoped. Either that or they don't like him. Best way to start the show though. Morrison is next for some slo-mo Mania action, and his pyro his huge as well. Your announcers make themselves known, and it's Cole, Lawler & Striker. And they get some supersized pyro as well. And it looks like Miz stole one of Matt hardy's big jackets for the night. HEY! It'S HUGO & CARLOS, THE SPANISH GUYS!!!! Been a while, boys! Cole pimps out that Romania is getting their first Wrestlemania live on PPV. Yeah, big market right there.
Miz & Morrison start things off. Miz gets some shots in but a Morrison dropkick scores a quick 2. Truth tags in and they team up for a couple of funky legdrops for another 2. Jumping heel kick scored for Truth, but sends Miz over to Show, who tags in. Show catches Truth's crossbody and hits another fallaway slam, a la Friday night. Big Show shoved Morrison off the apron before putting Truth down. Big Show climbed up the ropes, but Morison kicked him down for a Turth near fall. Miz tagged in again and was hit with a flapjack, and after scoring a sunset flip, was kneed in the head. However, Show pulled Miz out on Starship Pain. turth jumped onto Show, but was put into the ringpost. Miz picked up 2. He looked to finish, but Morrison countered and scored a 2 count of his own. Miz stopped himself at the ropes and Show tagged himself in. As Morrison looked for thee Flying Chuck on Miz, Show hit the KO Punch for the inevitable finish.
WINNERS & STILL CHAMPIONS: SHOMIZ
Wow. What a crappy, already tired finish to what was turning into a fun match.
The announcers send it to a recap of stuff that's been going on this week in Phoenix.
Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes in a "This is what happens when you piss away the logical handicap match on RAW..." Triple Threat match
Ted is out first. Cody is next and he comes out to his old theme, rather than the Legacy one. And he's also wearing an incredibly odd combination of tan trunks and white boots. And then the place explodes for Orton's entrance. Well, it does by noise anyway. We see Cody & Ted beside each other, so they aren't hating each other quite yet... Cody & Ted look to corner Orton, but randy gets the jump and fights his way out. The young 'uns look to corner him, but he gives them the slip out before jumping back in, and splitting them off, until Ted connects with a dropkick. 2 on 1 attack. Ted & Cody do the Orton Stomp together on Orton. Double armwringer and gutshot to Randy.ted holds Orton for Cody to lay some blows in before Cody returns the favour. Double suplex to Orton. Orton gets up and falls into a corner where Legacy work him over some more. Orton is whipped into a corner, but he stages a comeback until Ted hits a mis-direction clothesline. Legacy then hit a High & Low. Well, Ted did. Cody was late and missed.
Cody goes up top, but Ted went for a cover and Cody had to break it up. Cue arguments. Cody dumps Ted out the ring. Alabama Slam by Cody to Orton, but DiBiase breaks it up at 2. Ted downs Rhodes, but Cody gets the trip and they begin brawling on the outside. Cody is sent back in the ring, but Cody is waitingCody saw Orton trying to get up. As he does so, Ted & Cody stop fighting, but Orton's ready for them. Scoop slams to both. Ted falls out the ring, which leaves Cody. Backbreaker to Rhodes. Crowd is chanting RKO. Pretty loud as well. However, DiBiase pulls Orton out. Cody looks to pescado over, but Orton slides back in, and Cody lands on Ted.DiBiase tries to climb in, but is caight by Orton. Cody follows suit, and so Orton hits a double elevated DDT on Legacy to a big pop. He kicks Ted out the ring before going down to set for the RKO. However, as Orotn stares at Rhodes, he changes his mind. But not in a good way. Cody is on all fours you see. So Orton steps back and as Ted watches, Orton scored the punt on Cody. Ted comes from behind, but Dreamstreet is blocked and turned into the RKO for the win.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
Better match than I expected, to be honest...
I didn't notice this in the first match, but they've dropped the middle lighting rig right down to the ring level to show a screen in the background with Orton's graphic on it.
Don't try this at home, people. Or anywhere. Even a wrestling ring.
We go backstage to Josh Matthews who has a bombastic speech to say, but it's only to introduce Vickie Guerrero, who enters the picture with her team. She's wearing a tracksuit with "EXCUSE ME!" on it. She said tonight would be remembered for her Mania debut and she'd create a memory to live forever. She brings in Jillian Hall to murder "Simply The Best". That said, it's as good as Tina Turner. The heels leave and she's left with Santino Marella, who pimps Slim Jim. And as he eats it, Jillian turns into Mae Young, who kisses him. He takes another bite, and it's Mean Gene Okerlund in a dress! Another bite and it's Melina standing there. STOP EATING!!! Thankfully he does, and that's us.
Next up, a clusterkerfuffle...
THE SCOTTISH INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION~! Drew McIntyre vs. Christian vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston in a "When I was thinking of the list of participants, I totally blanked on Hardy & Kofi. Says a lot for them, huh?" Money In The Bank Ladder match
Savannah is handling the ring introductions for this one. Kofi is out first and he's got his hair in all kinds of wacky bunches tonight. MVP is next, followed by Bourne. Then it's Jack Swagge, so comes out with a glittery boxing robe and red, white and blue singlet. Shelton is next as the first Smackdown guy. Then it's Hardy, Ziggler, McIntyre and finally Kane. And it looks like Kane has a helluva shiner on him. And finally, but not leastly, it's Christian. Seems odd they did 4 RAW guys, all the Smackdown guys and then Chrristian. A message there? God help me recapping this...
We start with all 10 in the ring and it's one big mess.Ziggler locks on the sleeper on Kane, but it dumped out. Drew takes Kane down as MVP slides a ladder in. However, as Drew is left alone, he sets up the ladder. Hardy tips it over and Bourne, Hardy and MVP take turns in hitting signature moves on Drew. It's a 9 man tussle over the ladder. Evan got close, but Kane pulled him down and chokeslammed him over the top rope onto MVP. Swagger & Hardy up top, but Kingston knocked them down. Kofi went for the ladder, but Christian cut him off. Christian sent Hardy into Swagger and put the ladder on them. He then monkey flipped Kofi into the ladder! Christian went up, but Ziggler managed to hit somehting of a ZigZag off the ladder. Dolph climbed up, but MVP cut him off big time. Kane cut off MVP's climb. Chokeslam for him is cut off by Kofi & Shelton with ladder. They then set up Kane in the corner for Kofi to hit some shots. Kane pushes Kofi back onto the ladder used to pin him, but gets dumped out. Paydirt on MVP. Baseball slide by Shelton on Drew. Benjamin is alone and climbing. Swagger uses another ladder to knock him odwn. Kane gets a ladder shot. As does MVP. But Bourne comes off the top and knocks him and the ladder down. Christian and Hardy set up ladder in the rungs of upright ladder sandwiching Swagger. We get a threeway climb, with Evan going UP THE SIDE. However, Swagger takes out Hardy's ladder. Bourne knocks Christian down and hit Air Bourne off the platform. Brourne climbs, but Matt cuts him off. Hardy scored with a hiptoss off the top. Swagger cuts off Hardy but pushing him over onto Christian's ladder platform.
I'm breathless and my fingers are screwed already. MVP and Benjamin meet up top. MVP is knocked off, but comes round and cuts Shelton off. MVP teases powerbomb, but Shelton takes them both over.Kane grabs a ladder and takes them out on the floor. Kane rolls in and climbs, but Dolph climbs over him, but Kane dumps the ladder over and Ziggles lands on the ropes. Kane looks to lawn dart the ladder at Ziggler, but misses. Another ladder is rolled in, and Ziggler takes a chokeslam on the ladder. Kane breaks the second ladder sandwiching it onto Dolph. Trouble In Paradise to Kane. Kofi takes the two ladder halves, and he USES THE HALVES AS STILTS!!! HE EVEN STARTS CLIMBING!!! However McIntyre finally returns and breaks that idea up, dumping him out. However, while Drew is alone, there's no ladder. Drew gets on quickly and climbs up. Hardy is back in though and he's up the other side. Drew rams Hardy into the ladder, but Matt tips the ladder and Drew gets crotched on the top rope. Matt with a climb. Kane sets up another ladder. Or looks to. Christian sets it up for him and tips over to the center ladder to join Matt. Kane finishes the setup and climbs up the other side. Kane grabs both men for a chokeslam, but they blocked it off and knocked him down. Matt sets for the Twist, but Christian reverses into a reverse DDT off the top of the ladder.
Christian climbs back up, but here's Swagger. He pulls one ladder out, but Christian adjusts. Swagger up the other side. Christian slugs it out, but Swagger uses the case to knock Christian off and UNHOOKS IT!
WINNER: JACK SWAGGER
He took a damn long time to get it off, but SWAGGAH~! is Mr. MITB!
The announcers immediately note he said on Monday he might cash it in tonight.
Extreme Rules PPV advert.
The announcers talk about the Hall Of Fame Ceremony. After a short recap. THE FINK~! brings out the inductees. Looks like Ionki hasn't gotten changed since last night. We have the Hart Family en masse. Richter looks pretty big, but she's middle aged. Mad Dog's in a wheelchair. Inoki gets a pretty good pop. Uecker gets a slightly bigger one. Betty Wagner is next. I should see if I can get my Gran a walker like hers. And h
ey, how about that! Mae Young isn't the oldest person on the show! And finally Ted DiBaise Sr.
They plug Rudolf's song before hyping the next match, which is...
Triple H vs. Sheamus in a "What? A singles match on this show without a stipulation or anything on the line? And some people thought that HHH would somehow politick his way into the title picture after Elimination Chamber..." match
Sheamus is out first. I actually kinda expected somehting a little different to his entrance for this show. Nope. Just slightly adjusted trunks. HHH, on the other hand? Yeah, he's so midcard nowadays, he's only getting a normaly entrance as well! OK, there may be more lasers, but it's all to scale. Cole notes that this is HHH's 14th Wrestlemania. Well, I kinda spoke too soon for Hunter. The retractable screen in the middle comes down, and as he spits the water, pyro goes off at the top of the stage. The bulls lock up and Sheamus wins it as it goes into the corner. Sheamus breaks and trash talks. They lock up again, and Sheamus put is put in the corner where HHH slaps him one. Sheamus drops his head off a whip and HHH looks for an early finish, but Sheamus slips out and has a think about it. Sheamus with a knee to the gut and club to the back. HHH comes out the corner with a clothesline and hits a suplex. He tells Sheamus to Suck It before hitting the knee drop for 2. However, Sheamus rolls out. Hunter rams his head into the guardrail before sending him back in. HHH clips out Sheamus's knee and locks on the Figure Four, but Sheamus manages to reach the ropes. HHH comes out to join him, but Sheamus whips him into the steel steps. Sheamus breaks the count, but smells blood and rams HHH into the guardrail, before setting him up for an elbow on the apron. HHH comes back with a right hand, but Sheamus hit the Firey Red Hand 2.0 backbreaker on the knee. He hits a second one. He then hits some knees to the head in the corner and chokes before the ref forces the break. more stomping on The Game. However, Hunter cuts Sheamus off and we have a slugfest. Sheamus wins with an axe handle to the head. A knee to HHH's back is followed with some shots for a surprisingly long 2 count. Sheamus locks on a chinlock with a knee in the back.
HHH gets up, but Sheamus scores with a powerslam for a 2 count. Sheamus locks on a shoulder stretch, pulling on the arm and pushing on the head. He changes into a chinlocas HHH makes it back to his feet. HHH drops to a knee, but fights up again and reels off a back suplex. Hunter blocks a couple of corner charges and slips out a slam and hits a DDT. Slugfest again, drawing the Yay!/Boo! chants. Sheamus hits a kick, but HHH hits the Harley Race knee. Sheamus drops his head, and gets a facebuster, but it only picks up 2. HHH looks to finish. Sheamus blocked, but was kicked off and hit with a neckbreaker for another 2 count. Sheamus is put up top, where HHH joins him. Sheamus coolly slips out though and looks for the Razor's Edge. That's slipped out. The big boot is ducked. The Pedigree is avoided and Sheamus scores with a boot for a LONG 2 count. Sheamus picks up HHH for the Edge, but HHH fought out and hit the AA Spinebuster. That picked up 2. Sheamus rolled out to the apron, but as HHH went to pick him up, he scored with another boot. Sheamus couldn't capitalise however, taking his time to get over to him. He didn't go for the cover though. However, HHH was playing possum as he popped up and hit the Pedigree for the win.
WINNER: HHH
Pretty good, but gotta admit, a slight notch below what I expected. Before you start bitching though, Sheamus wasn't buried. Not tonight.
After the match, HHH actively thanks the crowd in celebration.
We see a Slim Jim's advert with Edge and the Bella Twins.
Looks like Punk & Rey are next as they shoot it to that particular video...
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio in a "I hope Rey had one last beer before tonight..." match where if Rey loses, he is forced to join the Straight Edge Society
Punk is out first with his buddies and his female buddy's boobs. But he has a microphone as well. Over 70000 weak-minded people who are so hopped up that they think Rey is a superhero. 70000 people who think if they take a drink, their problems go away. Just like they think Rey is a saviour from a monster, but he's not a monster, he's the SAVIOUR. He can lead us all, because he chooses to be better than everyone. But Rey doesn't have a choice. He'll be forced to follow. And then everyone else will follow then, one nation under Punk. Awesomely, Punk is wearing trunks in a GI Joe style. Rey's music plays and his pyro goes off, but no Rey... He EVENTUALLY appears. I'm guessing something went awry. Rey's film reference of choice tonight is Avatar. Heh, and here was I thinking he looked a little crappy. It should be noted, Rey isn't painted blue. It's just light blue clothing with black pigtails stiched into the mask.
Rey keeps an eye out for Gallows and Serena, which allows Punk to get the jump on Mysterio. Rey is whipped across, but Rey scores a drop toehold into the corner. rey went up, but Punk took Rey out, with Rey landing in the Tree Of Woe, Punk missed a baseball slide though, but as rey looked for the wheelbarrow bulldog on the outside, Punk planted Rey on the top of the steps. The count made it to 9 but Rey just managed to get in. Punk laid in a flurry of blows as he did, picking up a long 1 count. Punk locked in a sleeper, but Rey fought back to his feet and elbowed out. Rey looked to float over a corner charge, but Punk caught him and put him on the apron. Rey came in with a springboard senton, but a corssbody was turned into a powerslam for 2 for Punk. Punk dropped his head and was kicked. Punk looked for the sunset flip> Rey rolled through, but Punk ducked a kick and rolled Rey up for 2. A stiff kick to the head scored another 2 count for Punk. They then worked a lucha DDT spot that put both men down, until Rey turned over for a 2 count. Punk was set for the 619, but Punk caught him and looked for the GTS. Rey slipped out and looked for a Lionsault. Punk caught him in position for the GTS, but again Rey got out. He kicked punk down and went up top. He called up Eddie's spirit, but whiffed on a Frog Splash, allowing Punk to get a 2 count.
Punk set in the corner and hit the high knee. the bulldog was shoved off and then a powerbomb was turned into an armdrag, setting Punk in 619 position. Serena blocked that off. Punk looked for the GTS, but Rey sentt Punk into Gallows who was on the apron. Punk was hit with the 619 and Mysterio followed with the springboard splash for the win!
WINNER: REY MYSTERIO!
Wow. I'm genuinely shocked at that. Kinda don't know where the feud can go from here...
Up next, a match 13 years in the making. You know what that means...
Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon in a "This match is probably going to be so overbooked, even Vince Russo will be saying "Man, that's overbooked!"..." No Holds Barred match
Some dude right on camera has a "BRETT BEAT VINCE" sign. HOW CAN PEOPLE IN 2010 NOT GET THIS RIGHT??? Bret comes out first to a nice ovation. Again, I'd assume it's louder in the arena.Bret gets some pyro from the mi-ring lighting rig. You know, I think this is actually my first time seeing a Bret Hart match live. When I was small, it was on videos long after the fact. And when I came back to wrestling in my mid-teens, he was in WCW. Vince is out, and he has a microphone with him. Hey Bret, look at you. You're in Vince's ring at his greatest Creation, Wrestlemania. And thusly Bret deserves a Mania-sized screwing, and so he's shelled out a bunch of money for some lumberjacks. Just remember, Bret screwed Bret. And Vince screwed Bret. And now, Vince and the Hart famil screwed Bret. IT'S THE HART DYNASTY!!! AND THE ENTIRE HART FAMILY!!! THEY'VE TURNED ON BRET??!?!?!?!?!?! HOLY SHIT!
The Hart family come down to ringside with Vince. This has to be a fakeout by the family, and they all turn on Vince... Bruce Hart gets in the ring, and he's got a referee's shirt on. He hugs Vince before shaking everyone's hands. Bret gets a mic and can't believe it! Well, what's done is done. But there's one thing he knows about the Hart's, they got paid up front and the money is in their accounts. But if there's one thing he's learned from Montreal. There's nothing like a good double cross. BRET KNEW ALL ABOUT IT! And tonight, at Wrestlemania, it would be remembered as the night Bret screwed Vince. YES!!!!!!!!!
Bret downs Vince with punches to the head, before running Vince's head in the ropes. Bret stomps away on the boss in the corner. Vince rolls out and the Dynasty go to work. Natalya bitchslaps Vince, and Striker immeidately thinks she's fired for that. Smith Hart is there as well as Tyson gets some shots in. DH Smith holds up Vince while Tyson goes up for the Hart Attack 2.0 to the outside. The whole family roll Vince back in for Bret to get some more on. Bret sets up the leg on the ropes and jumps on it. Bret hits a couple of elbows. Vince rolls out again, and the Dynasty prevent Vince from rolling under the ring. However, Vince has a tire iron on him, causing the Harts to split. He gets in the ring, but Bret ducks a shot with the iron and gets some more shots in, while Bruce kicks the iron out. Tyson hands it back to him, and Bret hits a few shots to the back. Bret wants Vince up, but gives him another shot to the back. Vince begs off, but Bret then jabs the iron into the throat. With Vince down, there is only one thing left. The crowd know it, but after teasing it, Bret elects for more tire iron shots. Bret gives Vince a couple of stomps on the nuts. Vince begs off, but Bret keeps stomping on the grapefruits. DH has a chair on him, and he slides it in for Bret, who takes a seat for a while. Well, he is a stroke survivor.
The Hart family do some taunting while Bret takes a breather. As Vince gets Bret, Bret wallops Vince with the chair in the back. He gets a second shot and the crowd want another. Bret obliges and then some. Striker thinks it's 13 shots for 13 years. It was about 13 shots in the end. Bret then jabs the chair into McMahon's legs. More chairshots as Lawler claims he's uncomfortable. We see Diana Hart is there as well. Bret FINALLY, as the family and crowd cheer him on, locks on the Sharpshooter. And Vince taps right away.
WINNER: BRET "THE HITMAN" HART
Went on too long, but given their limitations, decent enough.
The Hart Family celebate as one as Vince is helped out the ring.
The announcers thank the city of Phoenix for hosting them this year. This leads to the announcement of next year's Mania host. That is, of course, Atlanta. April 3rd 2011.
Justin Roberts announces the crowd as 72219. And 2 of them are my mate Brendon Burns and his kid. At the announcement, we set some stadium-wide pyro. Up next is our first main title match...
Chris Jericho vs. Edge in a "well, at least the winner will be a Canadian...or will they???" match for the World Heavyweight Title
Jericho is out first, followed by Edge, who gets the stream from the retractable rig, which actually moves up as it blows, so it kinda looks like a rocket. Yay rockets! Main event introductions for this one. For some reason, someone has a sign with "Axiomatic" written on it. If you don't know that means pertaining to the self-evident.
Jericho with the side headlock, but he's pushed off. Shoulder block by Jericho is followed by a shoulder tackle by Edge as they bounce back and forth off the ropes. jericho puts Edge down and paintbrushes him in the head. Edge reverses a whip across and hits a flapjack. Edge looks for an early spear, but Jericho ducks out the ring. Edge follows him out and works on him from there. However, after being rolled in first, Jericho catches Edge with a kick on the apron beofre hitting a baseball slide knocking Edge to the floor. Jericho slingshots Edge into the bottom rope before hitting a back suplex as Striker references Edge's former name of Sexton Hardcastle. Jericho begins to work over Edge. Edge is whipped into the corner, but Edge avoids the charge and Jericho's shoulder hits the post. Edge scores with a spinning heel kick. Jericho scores with a front suplex onto the ropes. Jericho looks for the corner dropkick, but Edge avoided it and sent Jericho into the announce table from the apron. Edge dives off the apron with a clothesline. Back in the ring, they make their way up top. And Edge wins, hitting a sitout facebusteroff the second rope for a 2 count. Jericho gets the leg trip and looks for the Walls, but is kicked off and tripped up. Edge goes up and scores a crossbody. However, Jericho rolled through for 2. Jericho again looked for the Walls Of Jericho, but Edge kicked him off again. Again, Edge went up to the middle rope, and scored a sunset flip for 2. Jericho reversed for 2, but as Edge recountered, Jericho rolle dout and kicked Edge in the head.
Jericho looked for the Codebreaker, but Edge dumped Jericho hard into the corner. Edge set himself in the corner and looked for the spear, whcih the crowd reacted to, but Jericho coutnered and rolled Edge up for the Walls Of Jericho. He locked it in this time, but Edge managed to roll under and turn it into a cradle for 2. Jericho's lionsault was avoided and Edge hit the Edge-O-Matic for 2. Enziguri by Jericho for another near fall. Jericho looked for the bulldog, but Edge countered with the Impaler DDT for 2. Jericho blocked charge and hit a forearm to the back of the head off the middle rope. Jericho saw Edge down in the corner and a light went on. Jericho set for the spear! However, Edge coutnered with a big boot to the head. Now Edge was feeling it! The crowd chanted for it, and Edge set down. But Jericho scored with the Codebreaker! However, he took a couple of seconds to make the cover so only picked up a two count. Jericho argued with the referee. Jericho kicked out the injured Achilles tendon. Jericho yelled fo him to stay down, before stomping on the ankle. A dueling chant kicked in, as Edge fought back, However, Jericho again locked in the Walls. Jericho pulled Edge into the middle of the ring and turned the hold into a Single Leg Crab on the injured leg. Edge looked esperate as he tried to make the ropes. But he eventually did. Jericho looked to pull him back, but Edge scored a rollup for 2. Edge clotheslined Jericho out the ring, taking himself out as well.
Jericho got his title belt back, but Edge was waiting, and took Jericho back in. Jericho dropped Edge on the rope, who fell back into the ref. Jericho hit a shot to the head with the belt, but only picked up a 2 count!!! Jericho wanted Edge up and scored with another Codebreaker and he picked up the three count.
WINNER & STILL WORLD CHAMPION: CHRIS JERICHO
Looks like I was right about them mentioning the Rumble winner stat thing. Really good match though. REALLY good.
After the match, Jericho looked to finish Edge's ankle off, but Edge kicked him off and tore the top off the Spanish table before clearing it. Edge then cleared the English table and got up on it. He waited for Jericho and speared Jericho through the timekeeper's position!!!
Edge got up, mad as hell, and rolled into the ring, to something of a very mixed reaction.
We joined the announcers, who were standing as they sent it to clip of the dark match Battle Royal won by...YOSHI TATSU!
Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James & Gail Kim vs. Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Alicia Fox & Vickie Guerrero in a "I wonder how many of you didn't know this was on the show..." 10-Diva Tag Team Match
Thankfully, both teams come out as units. Oddly enough though, the babyfaces come out to Eve's music (I think). I expected Beth's, since the heels were with Michelle's music. Mickie is able to win, but not exactly dressed for a night's work. Vickie stands tall in the ring as the other heels bail. Vickie cheat barges Gail to start, so Gail tags in Beth. She dumps Vickie in her corner and tags in Eve for a shot. Then Gail. Then Mickie and then Kelly. Vickie tries yelling as a wrestling move, but Kelly hit the K2. Michelle breaks it up and hits the Faith Breaker. Mickie comes in for the MickieDDt. Layla with a backbreaker. Gail hit her finisher. Maryse with the French Kiss. Eve with the armbar. Alicia with the axe kick, but Beth hit Alicia with the Glam Slam, leaving Beth & Vickie. We see Vickie praying because of the innevitable, but Michelle comes in with a boot to eh head. She gets Vickei collected and told Vickie to hit a frog splash on Kelly. She sends a kiss to Eddie and hits, what Cole called a hogsplash. A slight miscommication on the pin later, Vickie made a proper pin finally for the win.
WINNERS: VICKIE GUERRERO, TEAM LAYCOOL, MARYSE & ALICIA FOX
OK then... Just a cool down match really, especially when this is next...
Batista vs. John Cena in a "Well, this is what 2002 has built up to..." match for the WWE Heavyweight Title
So indeed, the rumours were true, Taker & HBK headline. Batista is out first, and his pyro blows the lights, as he gets a mega-spotlight to take him to the ring tonight. And why is the champion first? Well, as you can probably guess right now, Cena had a bit of a special entrance tonight. He gets a milatary guard presenting their arms with a funky routine. But that's about it. His music eventually kicks in and he runs out to the ring meaning business. A big "Cena Sucks" sign right at the front. And a smaller "Batista likes fishsticks" sign is there as well. Batista goes for a leg, but misses. They lockup and Batista grabs the side headlock. He's pushed off, but Cena grabs the arm and turns it into a side headlock takedown. A dueling Cena about Cena's abilites in the ring or lack thereof. Batista takes Cena into the corner, but Cena switches and puts in shots, but batist reverses a whip out and scores with a shot to the back of the neck. Batista dumps Cena in the corner for some shots and a running facewash. Batista sets Cena up on the apron and hits another boot to the head. Cena blocks a suplex attempt and hits one of his own.Cena whipped Batista across and scored with a bulldog for a deuce. Cena looked to finish, but Batista shifted his weight and Cena landed RIGHT on top of his head for a 2 count. That could be major bad times right there. No "X" from the ref though. And indeed, Batista boots Cena in the head for a 2 count. Batista locked on a sleeper with his legs scissoring the body.
Cena rolls to his front, and gets back to his feet with Dave on his back. Cena then managed to break the grip Batista had. However, Batista kneed him in the small of the back. A slugfest gives us a Yay!/Boo! that is on the side of Batista, and The Animal wins with a neckbreaker for 2. Front chancery by Batista is countered with a back body drop. Cena blocks a corner charge and then avoids another for his signature offence of shoulder block and ProtoBomb. The Five Knuckle Shuffle however is turned into a spinebuster. Deacon Dave calls for the finish, but Cena gets a double leg trip and locks on the STF. Batista is able to make the ropes however. Batista scores with the SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR. Sorry, wrong guy. It only picks up a 2 count anyway. In the corner, Batista drives in shoulders before putting Cena up top. However, Cena countered the superplex into a "test of strength" up top! Cena headbutted at Batista shoulders to break it and then he punched Batista down. Cena gathered himself and called for a SUPER FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! The Attitude Adjustment was blocked and turned into the Batista Bomb. TWO COUNT BITCHES! Batista looks mightily pissed. They engage in a bunch of counter and recounters until Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment. ANOTHER 2 COUNT MOFO'S!!!
Cena heads out and up top again, but he's taken too long and he jumps into something of a Batista Bomb, much like how he had his neck broken at Summerslam. Batista looked for another Batista Bomb, but Cena spun out and locked in the STF again!!! BATISTA TAPS!!!
WINNER & NEW WWE CHAMPION: JOHN CENA
Really fun match right there. The second half of this show is delivering as far as I'm concerned.
Cena leaves the ring and walks right over to a bunch of fans with "We Hate Cena" shirts on. Fantastic.
Another Extreme Rules advert. Well, there's nearly 40 minutes of PPV time left. So after Undertaker's entrance, it'll be about a 10 minute match...
They talk about our main event. Cole says it's maybe the most anticipated match in Mania history. Video time.
The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in a "I don't envy them topping last year..." No Countout, No DQ match with Shawn Michaels' career on the line
HBK is out first. Nothing special tonight particularly in terms of entrance from him either, other than, again, super-sized pyro. Especially after last year's majestic entrance. Taker has something a bit different though. He has a bunch of lasers, and indeed, like last year, he rises from under the stage. Brand new jacket as well. Kinda like his Ministry jacket, but with an open front and hood. We see a shot from above the arena as well as Taker comes out. Obviously, there is no fire anywehre near him. Shawn offers no reaction to any of it.
They go face to face at the bell to let the crowd sink it in. HBK mocks Taker's throat slash, so it starts off hot with them exchanging blows in the corners. Taker reverses a whip and scores with an early Snake Eyes and HUGE big boot that spins HBK out. Taker works the arm and looks for an early Old School. HBK tries to fight it though. However, that ultimately fails and he gets clubbed. Taker looks for the chokeslam, but Michaels slips out and kicks at the leg, noting that Taker is limping slightly off that Old School. The tombsonte is slipped out of and HBK looks to work on the arm. Taker again grabs the throat, but HBK kicks the leg. Taker again wrings the arm, but HBK ducks under and looks for the superkick, but Taker ducks out the way. HBK notices the limp, so he goes for the knee. He gets Taker in the corner and begins to stomp on the leg. Taker fought back with punches in the corner, but again HBK kicked at the knee. Undertaker, however, clotheslined HBK over the top. Taker looked for the WRESTLEMANIA SUICIDE DIVE~!, but HBK dived back in first and cut out the leg. HBK looked for the Figure Four, but Taker kicked him off and out the ring again. Taker picked Michaels up and drove him into the ringpost, back-first. Taker then set HBK up on the apron and hit the VINTAGE~! leg drop. However, Taker dropped to his knees on the outside, feeling the left knee. Back in the ring, Shawn got the double leg, and locked on the Figure Four. Taker sat up on it, but HBK cinched it on. HBK picked up a 2 count with Taker's shoulders down, but sat up again and spun it over, reversing the pressure, forcing HBK to make the break.
Both men duked it out with HBK chopping and Taker with the soupbowls. HBK was whipped offf the ropes, but he he hit the flying forearm. However, he kipped up and turned into a chokeslam! 2 count only though. Taker with a tombstone attempt, but HBK countered with an ankle lock! Taker got near the ropes, but HBK pulled back a bit and grapevined the leg. Taker laid back for a 2 count against him, before putting the spare foot to HBK's face. Shawn clotheslined Taker out, but hung on himself. HBK went for an Asai crossbody, but Taker caught him and gave him a Tombstone on the floor!!! However, Undertaker was slow to get up, never mind get HBK back in the ring. As it goes, a medic came down and checked on him, but Taker was now up, and tossed the medic away and rolled Michaels in the ring. Only a 2 count though! Taker set for the Last Ride, but HBK was able to reverse with a X-Factor! HBK picked up a 2 count. Michaels slowly climbed up top and went for the flying elbow. However, Taker got the knees up on it! As HBK stood over HBK, Taker grabbed the Hell's Gate! However, HBK was able to turn it into a bridging pin for a 2 count!!! Michaels connects with Sweet Chin Music!!! ONLY A TWO!!!
HBK pulled himself up in the corner and tuned up the band. He went for it, but Taker blocked it. The Last Ride connected this time. AGAIN ONLY TWO!!! Crowd are now going batty for these nearfalls. Undertaker tossed HBK over the top to the floor. And the Deadman has a Rated R idea, as he clears the English announce table. He said something to HBK before looking for the Last Ride. However, HBK slipped out and superkicked Taker onto the announce table. Guess where HBK went next??? Yep, up to the top rope and HIT A MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!! Taker pulled himself up, but HBK grabbed him and tried to roll him back in the ring so he could win. He got Taker back in as Taker was punchdrunk. HBK pulled himself up in the corner and scored with another Sweet Chin Music!!!!! MOTHERF**KING TWO COUNT!!!!! Sweet holy Christ, I honestly thought that was it. HBK looks for another Sweet Chin Music, but Taker counters with a chokeslam! Taker can't make the speedy cover though, as he had to pull himself up with the ropes. Taker hit the Tombstone and that was it. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! ONLY A FRIGGIN' TWO COUNT!!!!
Taker pulled himself up by the ropes again as he couldn't believe what just happened. Taker took down the straps and made like he was calling for the finish. Some blood on his arm. However, he stopped, much like HBK didn't want Flair to get up. He looked pretty dejected and told him to stay down. However, much like Flair, HBK told him to bring it. He slapped Taker, so Taker gave him a hellacious Tombstone for the win.
WINNER: THE UNDERTAKER
Match Of The Year. No friggin' doubt. INCREDIBLE match, with the most poetic finish you could have ever thought to see.
An 18 & 0 comes up on the stage as Taker bows to it and a huge pyro display goes off, not just on stage but on the roof as well. As the lights came back up, Taker helped HBK back to his feet. They shook hands and hugged as only 2 very tired 40+ year olds can. Undertaker then gave HBK the ring.
The crowd came together to thank HBK for his career. Simply a HUGE ovation for him. He dropped to his knees and thanked the lord. HBK was almost in tears as he left the ring. He went up the aisle thanking the fans in the aisle seats. As he got to the stage, he again thanked the lord above. as the show ended. And really, the show ended. No clips video. But hey, that was the right moment to end on, so I'll give them that.
Well, not the greatest Mania ever. But the three main matches delivered and we got the moment he expected in Vince tapping to the shaprshooter, and as I said, given Bret's major limitations, it was fine for what it was. So really, rather underwhelming until the last 90 minutes. But not a bad show. Not by a long shot.
Anyway, once again for allowing me on your screen to provide you with results. Hopefully see you all next month, or indeed next year.
