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Crazy Uncle Ralph Reviews: The Bret Hart DVD
By Crazy Uncle Ralph
 ...
Last week I was at Gamestop. You know - the video game place. They're not just video games though. They got used DVDs too. Well, guess what. Go. Guess.
They had the Bret Hart DVD for sale. Guess how much. Guess. $4.99. No shit. Someone there didn't watch wrestling. Ha! So, check it out. Five bucks for the Bret DVD. Guess what I did. Guess. I stole it. Yup. In the pants, down the front, and on top of little Ralphie. That's how I roll, as the Christian kid says. I roll with DVDs down my pants. Anyway, I get the Bret DVD home and I popped it in. Let me make one thing clear. I didn't see this Montreal thing happen. In fact, I might have, but I'm pretty ripped most of the day so I don't remember things that I've seen from time to time. I might have seen Montreal but hell if I remember it. I once got into a bar fight in Montreal. That much I remember. So anyway, there's this fella named Bret Hart. He's got a hat on and he's got all this stuff to say about his career. He came up from his dad's company and was unsure that he could run with the top title. In the end, he realized he could. It was sweet - like a fruity Disney movie. I admit it. I cried. Then again, I was pretty drunk and I usually cry when I'm drunk. Or awake. So this guy goes on to talk about being in a tag team with this red headed hippo looking guy with a big beard. They beat up some Bulldogs and Bees and even these Sylvan Grenier boys that were taking a cut of their money by being managed by Jimmy Hart, Bret's old manager. Crazy shit. If someone tried to take my money, I'd shoot him. Damnit, man. Your name is the Hitman. Go cap some people. Give em the Canadian Swiss Cheese treatment, pally. So blah blah blah - fast forward. Bret's feuding with this little fruitcake named Shawn Michaels. They're both getting the crowd and that's all cool. Shawn's a bit of a prick. Hart's a bit of a tight-ass. They clash. I understand. I don't do well with people who aren't like me. Every year I used to beat up my daughter's teachers at conference night. Finally they banned me from the school. Bastards. So anyway, this big thing happens and they make Bret lose. He didn't know he was gonna lose and everyone's saying that they had to do their thing. Whatever. As an outside eye, it looked to me like the promoter wanted to show he was in charge. On the same side of the coin, he defends his decision by saying he wanted him to lose in the manner he did. As I said - whatever. It's done now and can't be undone. I'll tell ya this much, I'da punched my ex-boss if he ever tried that too. So it goes. Bret Hart leaves. He headed to WCW where they did all this crappy stuff with him. No one let him win and everyone held him down. That sucks. At this point, the video is on a downward slide. The next segment talks about the loss of his brother. It was tough to watch. I felt bad for Bret here. Then they talk about how his career was ended by the Goldberg boy, his stroke and all that and now I'm like bummed to shit. I'll tell ya something, though. I learned something by watching this thing. In the grand scheme of things and at the time of the DVD, Bret Hart had learned the true meaning of tragedy. He suffered loss after loss. He went through a divorce. He had health problems. When you look at his life in the big picture, that Montreal thing wasn't even close to the worst things he could have happen. The fact that he's on this DVD talking about things and getting his emotions out is good. This guy has come full circle, man. It felt as if I was watching him get it all out. For that reason, I applaud this DVD. I enjoyed watching it. So with that, I go to the fridge to get a beer. When I return, we will be ejecting Bret and switching to the Spice channel. Why? Because your Crazy Uncle Ralph enjoys watching that more. Stop by the Insanity Message Boards to discuss the Insanity of Uncle Ralph and other topics.
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