| From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com Crazy Uncle Ralph
(Note: Uncle Ralph will not be here tonight. He had a prior engagement. When we asked what it was, he laughed and hung up. He will return next week...no matter how much we beg him not to) *** 1) Should Vince McMahon step down as head of WWE?
Eugene Sandow: While recognizing that WWE is in a major slump, I�m not sure that Vince McMahon should resign as head of WWE. The argument for McMahon resigning seems to boil down to a belief that McMahon, at 60-years-old, is out-of-touch and no longer understands what wrestling fans want to see. As evidence of this, people cite WWE�s juvenile, poor, and repetitive storylines, and the downward trend in television ratings since Raw�s USA Homecoming. Undoubtedly, WWE is in a creative slump, but I don�t see it as necessarily any worse or more troubling than past slumps.
In some ways, Vince McMahon reminds me of Theoden from Tolkein�s The Lord of the Rings, the once great king who is now a shell of himself and who relies on the bad advice of Wormtongue, a power-hungry advisor. Despite the fact that his kingdom is beset by invaders, Theoden is oblivious to everything and the bad advice of Wormtongue has caused him to shut out his friends and family. Only the arrival of the powerful wizard Gandalf frees Th�oden�s from the evil influence just in time to save his kingdom. Likewise, Vince McMahon has surrounded himself with bad advisors such as John Laurinaitis (the wrestler formerly known as Johnny Ace) and he seems oblivious to the fact that the company he took from a regional promotion into an international one is crumbling in front of him. Despite the obvious flaws in the WWE today, I think it would be insane for Vince McMahon to step down as head of the WWE. Given Vince McMahon�s ability to survive the tough times (the steroid trial and, the Monday Night War being two examples) and his remarkable ability to bounce back from defeat with unbridled success, there is nothing good to be gained from him walking away from the company he built. Vince McMahon has demonstrated numerous times that he is able to weather adversity (in fact he thrives on adversity) and that with the right group of talent working for him, he is unstoppable. Therein lies the problem as well as the reason why Vince should not step down. Right now, McMahon has surrounded himself with people whose talent for ass-kissing is only eclipsed by their lack of creativity and common sense. Johnny Ace, the not so dynamic dude and head writer Stephanie McMahon have managed to ignore the basics of professional wrestling while incorporating the worst aspects of Hollywood writing to create a product that continues to drive away long-time fans and which fails to bring in any new ones. To make things worse, Laurinaitis has transformed the WWE locker room from heaven into hell and distinguished himself by sending numerous long-time WWE employees packing (Dave Hebner, Jim Ross, Pat Patterson, and Tom Pritchard to name a few). With a track record like this, would you want these people running the company unfettered? There is no question that Vince McMahon deserves a large portion of the blame for allowing his company to rot from within. He has blinded himself to the incompetence around him and failed to listen to those willing to give him an honest, critical opinion of his company�s failings. Like Theoden, Vince needs someone like Gandalf to give him that moment of lucidity in which he realizes the mistakes he has made and he takes the action necessary to restore his company to greatness. As before when Vince has grown complacent, a strong competitor is the most likely way to see Vince come out of his creative coma. Until then, a complacent Vince is still light years ahead of the creatively bankrupt people working under him. 2. Which performer do you feel has been over pushed considering his/her lack of ability? Sandow: In terms of workrate, the most overpushed wrestler is probably John Cena, but to view talent in terms of workrate alone is to misunderstand what it takes for a wrestler to achieve success in the business. Cena has charisma and speaking ability to spare, sells tons of merchandise, and deserves a major push. To me, lack of ability means more than an inability to work a good wrestling match � a true no talent wrestler lacks three things: (1) charisma, (2) promo ability, and (3) workrate. Right now, the wrestler receiving the greatest push at odds with his level of ability is Chris Masters, who is an upper mid-card act, but brings very little to the table aside from a chemically enhanced physique. Masters is not terrible in the ring or on the stick, but he�s not what I�d describe as talented in either department, either. And there�s a severe lack of charisma emanating from the Masterpiece, which is something no amount of training will remedy. Yet WWE seems intent on trying to make Masters a top-level act. Masters has a finishing maneuver that nobody � not even a legend like Shawn Michaels � is permitted to actively break. Masters rarely jobs; the only high profile television jobs he�s done that come to mind were against Shawn Michaels at Unforgiven and his doing the honors at Taboo Tuesday in the Raw vs. Smackdown match. Chris Masters�s push is not at all commensurate with his level of skill. WWE would be much better served by using the time spent attempting to �make� Masters by instead attempting to �make,� for instance, Shelton Benjamin, who, for unknown reasons, really seems to be in the doghouse these days, and, consequently, might be the most underpushed talent in the organization. Rickard: One only has to look at the top of the RAW roster to see that John Cena is over pushed given his lack of ability. It�s easy to see that the WWE has big plans for John Cena. If everything goes right, John Cena could be a multi-talented success for the WWE with success in the world of wrestling, music, and film. The WWE has given Cena the lead role in one of their films, promoted his rap CD heavily, and given him the top spot on their flagship show. Despite all that has been invested, it�s time for the WWE to realize that John Cena is not the man to carry the RAW brand. Cena has tremendous charisma but every week it becomes abundantly clear that Cena the wrestler is not growing in the ring. Furthermore, more and more fans are growing tired with Cena�s push given his lack of ability in the ring (and yes, even on the mic). What were once infrequent incidents of fans booing Cena have become common. John Cena, the cocky heel that won the fans� cheers has been absent for years and mainstream fans have finally noticed. He�s not cool and he doesn�t have the Rey Mysterio level of talent to make up for things by dazzling fans. What�s worse, Cena doesn�t seem compelled to improve himself in the ring.
There�s no doubt that Cena still has a sizable number of fans but given the fans willingness to get behind more skilled wrestlers such as Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels, it seems foolish to leave the strap on Cena or to push him so hard. If the WWE feels they have too much invested in him with his CD and upcoming film, they could keep him in the limelight without having to have him as their main event.
Given the increase in fans� dissatisfaction with Cena and Cena�s unwillingness to improve his ring skills, I think his push is not justified. There are several other wrestlers who would probably benefit from a Cena level push such as Carlito and Shelton Benjamin. If the WWE doesn�t want to gamble on them, then they should stick with the already established stars like Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle who the fans are more than willing to cheer and support.
3. If you could book one dream match between any performers (tag teams or singles) in history, who would it be and why? Sandow: My dream match would be between the late 1980s Ricky Steamboat and the early 2000s Kurt Angle. My mind�s eye tells me their styles would mesh and would result in classic matches. Steamboat�s extraordinary selling ability exceeds that of even Shawn Michaels, and we�ve seen what Michaels and Angle can do. I have no doubt these two would click. If I could pick one dream match between opponents of different eras, after giving it much thought, it would undoubtedly be Kurt Angle vs. Ricky Steamboat.
Rickard: Father Time is a miserable old bastard. Whether it�s an encounter between the 1978 Pittsburgh Steelers and the 2004 New England Patriots, Muhammad Ali vs. Mike Tyson, or Frank Gotch versus Kurt Angle, the ravages of time have made such encounters either impossible or stripped them of any value. Barring the discovery of time travel, that�s why such match-ups are usually called dream matches. Rare is the occasion when the best of the best meet and even then, it�s usually an encounter tainted by the ravages of time. Whether it�s Andre/Hogan or Angles/Flair, few match-ups are made when both wrestlers are in their prime which means fans aren�t getting all they could. The recent match between Ric Flair and Kurt Angle on Monday Night RAW was a lot of fun but just imagine what it would have been like had the Ric Flair from1989 squared off against the pre-WWE Neck Injury for Men Club Kurt Angle of 2001. Let�s imagine though that wrestlers from any time period are available to be matched against each other. Since we are dealing in the realm of fantasy, let�s do things right and establish that each wrestler is in their prime and that the WWE writing team has gone back to their old jobs writing for Passions and the Lifetime Network. For the intents of this exercise, life is but a dream and everything is going to be done right from build-up to post-match celebration. Unlike a genie, I don�t have three wishes, only one. Do you ask for a classic scientific encounter between mat technicians like Lou Thesz and Kurt Angle, go with a wild match-up between two monsters like the Undertaker and Andre the Giant, dazzle your audience with unparalleled tag team excitement like the British Bulldogs vs. Argentina Rocca and Miguel Perez Sr., or see the originator of a persona like the Crusher square off against his modern counterpart �Stone Cold� Steve Austin. After much consideration, my personal dream match would be �Nature Boy� Buddy Rogers versus �Nature Boy� Ric Flair. While both men wrestled in the late 70�s over the title of �Nature Boy�, Rogers was far past his prime. Rogers� was the epitome of professional wrestling, he had the look and ability of a wrestler (although he was nowhere near the level wrestling-wise of his era�s other top star Lou Thesz) matched with an extraordinary charisma that served him well during wrestling�s first golden age on television. His showmanship and ability made him one of the all-time greats and I can think of no better opponent for him than the man who carried the legacy of �The Nature Boy� to even greater heights. The build-up would be done perfectly. For the sake of this dream encounter, both men have been wrestling for ten years and won world titles in their respective federations. The setting is December 1984. After defeating Harley Race for his second NWA World Heavyweight Title, Ric Flair has a stranglehold on the belt despite stiff competition from around the world. In the WWF, Buddy Rogers has regained the WWF Heavyweight Title from Bob Backlund in a controversial match in which Backlund�s manager Arnold Skaaland threw in the towel after Backlund refused to surrender to Roger�s grapevine (a variation on the figure four leglock0. In this reality, Vince McMahon Sr. is running the show, the cancer that took his life having never happened. Both men have a remarkably similar style in their matches, that of a scientific wrestler who is never above using heelish tactics when the situation calls for it. Both men are equally flamboyant in the ring and during interviews; their ability to incite fans and opponents with just a few words makes them a top draw wherever and whenever they wrestle. Over the last few years, fans have speculated what would happen if and when the two meet up. A Pro Wrestling Illustrated poll shows fans split down the middle on who would win and it sparks a write-in campaign by both WWF and NWA fans to make the dream a reality. While interpromotional matches are not unheard of, they are rare but the money-making potential of this match coupled with the rise of cable television make it inevitable. In a rare move, Vince McMahon Sr. takes the advice of his son and decides to explore the money-making potential of pay-per-view. The success of Starcade convinces McMahon Sr. that his son may be right in suggesting that fans will pay to watch a match on closed-circuit television. McMahon Sr. and the directors of the National Wrestling Alliance get to work on making the first inter-promotional pay-per-view a reality. When AWA promoter Verne Gagne hears of the collaboration, he tries to convince the WWF and NWA to let him in on the action. After persuading Hulk Hogan to stay in the AWA, Gagne�s promotion has been doing record business and the NWA and WWF see no reason why they should let Gagne benefit any further from the success of Hulk-a-mania. Things start off peacefully enough at a press conference held in Jim Crockett Promotions� home base of Charlotte, North Carolina. There, both men admit their grudging respect for each other�s style of wrestling but things begin to break down when Rogers criticizes the lack of talent in the NWA compared to the WWF. Flair laughs and points out that there isn�t a wrestler alive in the WWF who could last ten minutes with him. Former WWF champion Bob Backlund grabs a microphone and asks Flair if he�d like to put his money where his mouth is and offers to wrestle Flair in Madison Square Garden in an exhibition match for charity. With the tremendous press coverage for the event, Flair has no choice but to agree. Never one to be out shown, Rogers offers to meet the NWA�s current number one contender Kerry Von Erich in a charity match on that same card. Both matches prove to be very one-sided affairs. Von Erich�s power and conditioning prove to be no match for the experience and heel tactics of Rogers. After missing a discus punch and accidentally striking the referee, Von Erich�s knee is clipped by Rogers while he checks on the referee. Rogers applies his figure four leglock which is even more potent than Flair�s and grabs the ropes for extra leverage as the referee slowly comes to consciousness. After minutes in the grapevine, Von Erich has no choice but to give up. In Backlund�s case, he is still recovering from the leg injury sustained when he lost the title to Rogers and as always, Flair capitalizes on his opponent�s weakness to score the win. While the match with Backlund and Flair is over, things are just beginning for Rogers and Flair. After Flair refuses to break the figure four leglock, the WWF champion Buddy Rogers (who was calling color commentary) rushes the ring. Rather than helping Backlund though, he begins laying the boots to the former collegiate star. Only the arrival of popular WWF stars Tito Santana and the Junkyard Dog are enough to run off Rogers and Flair. Promoters and fans are shocked to see Flair and Rogers joining forces. The two shake hands and cut a promo outside the ring where they call themselves the kings of professional wrestling. A week later, promoters decide to capitalize on this by pitting the interpromotional team of Andre the Giant and Ricky Steamboat against Rogers and Flair. The match is signed for the Omni in Atlanta, Georgia. Once the match begins, Flair and Rogers find themselves in for the fight of their lives. Despite their game plan of keeping Andre out of the match, Steamboat is dazzling both Rogers and Flair with his lightning fast moves. Once Andre is tagged in, all seems lost until Flair uses a pair of brass knuckles to bust Andre open and he goes to work on the now floored Giant�s legs. Unfortunately for Flair, this match is being refereed by Tommy Young who sees the brass knuckles and he calls for the disqualification. Rogers cannot believe Flair has been disqualified and he begins shoving the NWA world champion. Fans at ringside can hear Rogers yelling at Flair, admonishing him for getting caught and saying that he would never have been caught. As Steamboat tends to Andre, Flair and Rogers begin exchanging punches but are separated before things escalate further. It becomes abundantly clear that there can only be one king of professional wrestling. The WWF and NWA eagerly sign the match between Rogers and Flair for a special show to be held in Madison Square Garden (a coin toss having determined which promotion would showcase the event). The event quickly becomes known as �Wrestlemania� and Rogers/Flair is just one of several interpromotional matches. Tickets sell out in record time but fans are delighted to know that the show will be broadcast throughout the world on closed-circuit television and in some cases, in people�s homes thanks to a new cable television technology known as pay-per-view. The matches held on the card include:
Flag Match The U.S. Express (Barry Windham & Mike Rotunda), Sgt. Slaughter & Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Ivan Koloff, Krusher Krushchev, Nikolai Volkoff, & the Iron Sheik (managed by Skandor Akbar)
Chicken wing vs. the Claw Bob Backlund vs. Kerry Von Erich
30 man Battle Royal
WWF Tag Team Champions the Wild Samoans vs. National Tag Team Champions the Road Warriors
WWF Intercontinental Champion Tito Santana vs. NWA U.S. Champion Greg Valentine
The main event of Rogers vs. Flair turns out to be a 60 minute classic. Both men start off with a surprising series of scientific moves to wear each other down. At the twenty minute mark, Flair begins using heelish tactics to get the edge but it isn�t long before Rogers uses his own underhanded tactics and takes things outside the ring. The two brawl in and out of the ring for the next ten minutes, turning each other�s faces into the proverbial crimson mask. Once again, Flair gains the upper hand and he proceeds to lock Rogers in the figure four leglock. The hold is locked in square in the center of the ring but after three agonizing minutes in the hold, Rogers somehow manages to reverse the hold. Flair learns firsthand of the superior power of Rogers� grapevine but his legendary conditioning once again pays off and Flair is able to reach the ropes. Flair cries out that it is time to take Rogers to school and he lays into Rogers with a barrage of blistering chops followed by an Irish whip and a back body drop that has Rogers reeling. Flair then picks Rogers up for a Piledriver and drives Rogers bloody head into the mat. At that point Flair begins to strut around the ring as Rogers lies still. Then an amazing hush in the audience changes to cheers for Rogers. As the fans chant �Buddy, Buddy� Rogers finds himself energized by the fans and he somehow finds the strength to rise to his feet. Realizing his mistake, Flair suplexes Flair and heads to the top rope. However like Flair, Rogers recuperative powers are amazing and at the last minute he rolls out of the way as Flair dives off with a cross body block. Rogers covers Flair for the pin and using the ropes for extra leverage, gets the pinfall with just thirty seconds remaining, Rogers has won, a tainted victory but a victory nonetheless. ***
Pick Up Beavis and Butthead on DVD Got an opinion on something you've read here? Write to: Insanity@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com © Copyright by WorldWrestlingInsanity.com WorldWrestlingInsanity.com is not
affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
