Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned From Watching Repo Man
By Crazy Uncle Ralph
I drink. I laugh. I live. I love. I am. My name is Ralph and I’m wicked buzzed right now. All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned from watching Repo Man. Wisdom was not at the bottom of the bottle, but there in the laugh of the former Demoliton Smash. These are the things I learned:
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.
When you live life like the repo-man, you can take what ever you want. Not only that, but you can wear spandex and a little mask too. When you walk into the supermarket and everyone stares at you, you can scream out "Screw you! I’m the Repo-Man, bitches!" Then you can hit everyone with your hooked rope. Man. I love that rope. You won’t believe how much free stuff I’ve gotten since I started carrying it around with me. So, drink away, kids. Oh…and make yourself a hooked rope. Because what’s mine is mine…and what’s yours…is….ah, screw it. I need a drink.
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