World Wrestling Insanity: Questions I Would Ask Linda McMahon During WWE's Conference Call

Questions I Would Ask Linda McMahon During WWE's Conference Call

By Crazy Uncle Ralph
Mar 2, 2006 - 1:36 PM

Today, WWE held their conference call with investors. ( Catch the write-up on PWInsider.com ) I'm not an investor because I spend all my money on the ladies and the liquor. Yet, if I could ask some questions to CEO Linda McMahon and CFO Michael Sileck, these would be the questions.

Why do you look so much like Sandy Duncan?

What do you have against male cheerleaders?

What do you have against Rob Van Dam?

With the introduction of your Talent Wellness Program, does that mean that Bobby Lashley will no longer be the size of my living room?

Was there a hidden joke in the fact that "the Dicks" sucked?

There's a fella on my block named Mel Phillips. He says he's available for children's parties. What does that mean?

Doesn't that new girl, Krystal, look like Betty Applewhite from Desperate Housewives?

Yo, Mike. Do people ever call you M. Harry Sileck?

Why do you still have tag team titles?

You ever get to the arena early and watch porn on the Titantron? That would be awesome.

Does Hunter stink up the bathroom on the bus?

Why does Shawn Michaels wear women's blouses on Raw?

Where can I get me a woman like Shelton's Mama?

Why don't you feature the Dickfore * more?

Did you kill Eric Bischoff? If so, can I have his Drew Carey glasses?

Is there anything we haven't blamed Johnny Ace for yet that we should have?

Why don't you let Tatanka sing that Buffalo song at the Hall of Fame dinner? That shit was hilarious.

I never thought I'd ask this, but can you please let Chavo do the Kerwin White gimmick again? Anything's better than what he's doing now.

The doctor says my dog has worms. Now I'm scared that the Boogeyman is going to eat him. I bought a gun. That's it.

In ten words or less, explain to me why Evolution is a mystery.

Do you all ever just sit around and laugh about Matt Hardy? Jeff Hardy? Barry Hardy?

* (To pee with)

Crazy Uncle Ralph
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