Questions I Would Ask Linda McMahon During WWE's Conference Call
By Crazy Uncle Ralph
Mar 2, 2006 - 1:36 PM
Today, WWE held their conference call with investors. (
Catch the write-up on PWInsider.com
) I'm not an investor because I spend all my money on the ladies and the liquor. Yet, if I could ask some questions to CEO Linda McMahon and CFO Michael Sileck, these would be the questions.
Why do you look so much like Sandy Duncan?
What do you have against male cheerleaders?
What do you have against Rob Van Dam?
With the introduction of your Talent Wellness Program, does that mean that Bobby Lashley will no longer be the size of my living room?
Was there a hidden joke in the fact that "the Dicks" sucked?
There's a fella on my block named Mel Phillips. He says he's available for children's parties. What does that mean?
Doesn't that new girl, Krystal, look like Betty Applewhite from Desperate Housewives?
Yo, Mike. Do people ever call you M. Harry Sileck?
Why do you still have tag team titles?
You ever get to the arena early and watch porn on the Titantron? That would be awesome.
Does Hunter stink up the bathroom on the bus?
Why does Shawn Michaels wear women's blouses on Raw?
Where can I get me a woman like Shelton's Mama?
Why don't you feature the Dickfore
* more?
Did you kill Eric Bischoff? If so, can I have his Drew Carey glasses?
Is there anything we haven't blamed Johnny Ace for yet that we should have?
Why don't you let Tatanka sing that Buffalo song at the Hall of Fame dinner? That shit was hilarious.
I never thought I'd ask this, but can you please let Chavo do the Kerwin White gimmick again? Anything's better than what he's doing now.
The doctor says my dog has worms. Now I'm scared that the Boogeyman is going to eat him. I bought a gun. That's it.
In ten words or less, explain to me why Evolution is a mystery.
Do you all ever just sit around and laugh about Matt Hardy? Jeff Hardy? Barry Hardy?
*
(To pee with)
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Alphabetical Listing of
Guests You Can Hear on...

A
Sivi
Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony
B
Buff
Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan
C
Lance
Cade
Christian
John
Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette
Justin Credible
D
D-Ray
3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley
Hacksaw Jim
Duggan
Kenny Dykstra
E
Bobby
Eaton
Paul Ellering
Armando Estrada
F
Manny
Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk
G
Greg Gagne
Ronnie
Garvin
Jackie
Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera
H
Chalie
Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston
Mr. Hughes
I
The
Iron Sheik
Ivory
J
B.G.
James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan
K
Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff
Nikita Koloff
L
Bobby
Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke
M
Rodney
Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton
Trevor Murdoch
N
Kevin
Nash
Nidia
Nunzio
O
One
Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet
Outback Jack
P
Diamond
Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski
R
Harley
Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels
Lance Russell
S
Samoa
Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan
T
Dave Taylor
Sylvester
Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio
V
Greg
"The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff
W
Y
David
Young
Mae Young
Z
Larry
Zybszko
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