Nine months.

That's how long it's been since I've done anything with the site. My last ClubWWI audio went up on January 25^th. Nine whole months.

In a related story - guess how long you get put in jail for spitting at a bailiff in traffic court.

Nine months.

Yeah, so anyway, I had a big welcome home party the other day and James Guttman goes, "Yo. You down with a little TNA?" Like a putz, I figured he was offering to take his uncle to a strip club or whatnot. You know. Get a little sumpin, sumpin. Silly me. He meant TNA. Total Nonstop Action. The wrestling company.

Normally I would have punched him in the face, but I didn't. Why? Because he wanted me to review the Christian Cage DVD and I like Christian Cage. Also, I'm on probation now. So, that played into my decision to refrain from violence as well.

So I get home and open up this DVD. First things first. I really dug the layout. Instead of the same old look that you see on a lot of these discs, this one had a theme about it. The cover and the disc itself both looked like an old school wrestling poster. That's the whole point. "The Instant Classic." That's what he is.

Also, it's "Classic" as in awesome. Not "Classic" as in the original. I gotta make that clear. One time some guy offered me some Coke Classic and, long story short, I ended up very disappointed and messed up my nasal passages pretty good.

So, okay. The first thing you'll notice about this DVD is that it's backwards from the ones WWE puts out. With WWE DVDs, you get a huge production of a documentary with matches as extras. Here, the interviews and stuff are extras. The big deal in this is the matches…and boy, there's a ton of 'em.

You got Christian's win over Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title. You get his 8 Mile Street fight with Rhino. There's his match with Sting from Impact, and lots more. Even my favorite wrestler in the history of the planet, Samoa Friggin' Joe, is on there. I was very happy with the matches they included.  I'm a wrestling guy myself.  I like watching people fight.  That's what I want to see when I get a wrestling DVD.  If I want to see people talking, I'll buy a talk show DVD or whatever.  Good job, TNA.

As for the interview with Cage, well, that was a bit eh. Not too long, but that wasn't the main issue I had with it. It was the presentation.  The way they edited it made it seem even shorter than it was. They cut it up into a few minutes per topic with that MTV style music in the background. His stories were cool and gave you some insight into his life, but when it was over, it didn't seem like much.  It seemed like the fluff they play while counting down the minutes until a pay-per-view starts.

The content was good, though.  He told a story about how his brother runs a Sears Flooring Center. He even said which city it was in. Immediately, I pictured all you little freaks running into Sears and jumping on the guy screaming, "YEAH! CHRISTIAN CAGE'S BROTHER! YEAH!"

Then I thought about doing it myself. But decided not to because I'm too lazy.

He talks about getting into wrestling as a fan, which was cool too. The funny thing here is that he starts talking about how he watched WWF on television for the first time and TNA shoots to some stock footage of wrestling from like the 1940s or something. I laughed pretty hard. I get that they can't show WWF footage, but it made it seem like Christian was 80 years old.

He also talks about his relationship with Edge and his time in the Brood too. I dug all that. It was kinda weird hearing someone from TNA talk about his time in WWE on their own DVD, but it was cool. When you see Ric Flair talking about WCW on WWE's discs, you don't think much about it because they own WCW. With TNA, it seems a bit more out of place, but it makes sense. I was glad they let him talk about it honestly too. He didn't badmouth them or say how great TNA is in comparison to them. He just stated the facts and it was enjoyable.

There was also an extra that saw him give a tour of his house. The guy has a kick-ass house and a ton of cats. He also has a talking doll of himself that mistakenly had Kevin Nash's voice put in it. The whole segment made me really depressed about my own house. Had it not been for the fact that I like Christian, I'd have been mad pissed. A part of me wanted to go to Sears Flooring Center and be like, "MAKE YOUR BROTHER INVITE ME TO THANKSGIVING!"

There were also two clips from old school Indy stuff. There was a bout from '97 featuring Cage and Simon Diamond in a tag match. They both did commentary on it too, which was pretty sweet. It wasn't any of that fruity work-the-fans stuff either. They were straight up and talked about the whole thing. Simon even talked about Dawn Marie, who was at ringside. I like Dawn Marie. She makes me happy in places I can't talk about. Oh yeah….

There was also a really early interview with Christian and Edge on there too. Back then they were known as "The Suicide Blondes." They even had a disclaimer that noted how Cage had called the interview "brutal." TNA added that they didn't feel that way and thought the interview was an "Instant Classic." I couldn't tell if they were joking, but if not - it explains a lot about Impact.

They also had a photo gallery in the extras too, which made no sense.

As a whole, this wasn't a bad DVD at all. If you're looking for wrestling, then you'll like it. If you're looking to hear people talk and ignore wrestling, they you won't. In other words, Vince McMahon won't like it.

Your Uncle Ralph did, though. That's no BS either. TNA made a disc for the Christian Cage fans and those are the ones who will eat this thing up. What more could you want then a whole bunch of your favorite wrestler's matches in one place? With so many fans screaming, "We want more wrestling," then this DVD should keep 'em quiet. That's just how it rolls.

As for me? I'm just glad to add a video to my collection that isn't porn. It adds some sick class to my house.

Instant Class.  Sick.

HA! BAM!