(Note: Uncle Ralph will not be here this week. He's in jail. Seriously, he's in jail. Seems he decided to go trick or treating on Saturday. What's the big deal? Well, for starters Saturday wasn't Halloween. Secondly, he's not a kid, he's a middle aged man. Third, he was drunk. Finally, fourth - instead of wearing a costume, he was naked - completely naked. Despite writing alongside two established attorneys, Ralph can't seem to find representation to get him out in time for the column. Both Eugene and Mike were asked to help and declined. From the lock-up, Ralph has asked us to pass along the following message to his readers, "Happy Halloween, now shut the f**k up!")
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1. TNA Bound For Glory. Success or failure?
Eugene Sandow: Whether Bound for Glory was a success or failure depends completely on one�s perspective. To fans unfamiliar with the product, like Mike Rickard, the ppv was entertaining and an enormous success. The complaint from longer-term TNA fans is that the ppv was not as good as it could have been, and in that respect it was something of a disappointment.
From a new fan�s perspective, at the very least, you had just seen an excellent Iron Man match (but you didn�t have first-hand knowledge that the preceding pay-per-view had a five-star three way, widely considered to be the best TNA match in its history, and that kind of praise actually covers some significant ground); one hell of a garbage match in Monsters� Ball, with clinically insane Jeff Hardy taking a bump as dangerous as both Elix Skipper�s hurracanrana off the top of a cage and Mick Foley�s death-defying bumps against Undertaker (Foley made Hell in a Cell Famous, as opposed to Taker making Foley famous); and a great four-way spotfest to begin the show. As someone who has seen all of TNA�s monthly pay-per-views, however, I saw it a little bit differently. I wouldn�t call it a failure, as it was a solid thumbs up, but I agree wholeheartedly with those who were disappointed with Bound for Glory, which had been billed as TNA�s Wrestlemania.
Going in, TNA was concerned about natural disasters, but a man-made disaster struck one of the ppv�s strongest selling points. The Ultimate X match was essentially ruined by the hanging red X falling not once, but twice. The first time, the X hit the mat, and the ref, to Petey Williams�s consternation, refused to permit Williams to pick it up for the win, instead ruling that the match had to continue. Several minutes later, the X fell again, with Williams catching it in the air before it hit the mat, and this time inexplicably was ruled the winner (well, the explanation would be that the belt didn�t hit the mat the second time it fell). At Final Resolution back in January, A.J. Styles actually won an Ultimate X match (one of my match of the year candidates, so it�s discussed in question three below) after the belt had accidentally hit the mat, but this was a split second call on live television, so I can't come down too hard on TNA for its decisions here. The botched finish certainly hurt, though, and the Ultimate X ended up being just three stars. It was building into maybe a four star match, which still would have been much less spectacular than previous Ultimate X�s. The spots, as they always are in this kind of match, appeared way too choreographed, but that comes with the territory.
I didn't think it was possible, but Styles vs. Daniels, at four stars, was something of a disappointment. It was excellent, especially the second half, but not as good as their previous ppv Iron Man match in February. On the other hand, the Monsters' Ball exceeded expectations and was an awesome spectacle. The opening four-way was really good, too, with Sonjay Dutt shining most of all. Alex Shelley was also memorable, wickedly slapping Roderick Strong at one point, and at another point spitting directly into Strong's face. It was a great start to the show, which then really slowed down until the Monsters' Ball brought new life to the ppv.
The one thing the Gauntlet proved besides a lack of judgment by those in charge of booking TNA is that Samoa Joe vs. Abyss is someday going to be a strong feud. The crowd was extremely hot during their brief lock up. Overall, though, it was an off night for Joe, who just didn't click with Liger in their way too short match (a match that was supposed to go about another ten minutes, but they had to make time for the Gauntlet...). I also think something is seriously lost when Joe doesn't get to chop bare flesh �- the chops don�t seem nearly as strong or as stiff. Obviously, politics prevented either Joe or Monty Brown from getting the title tonight, although the Observer reports that both were eliminated from consideration because they�re viewed as possible long-term champions. With Nash out of the main event, it made old school sense to give fans the "surprise" title change. Considering that it's going to be short term, I'm not sure Rhino is the worst choice for the role, although the stench of WWE failure permeates this black hole of charisma. A champion � even a temporary one � who�s viewed as an ex-WWE jobber can make the promotion appear bush league, which is something TNA has avoided since its Spike debut, and must continue to avoid if the promotion is to have any chance of long-term success.
Mike Rickard: Ultimately, the real success will be when the buy rates come out for Bound for Glory (BFG) and to a certain extent Genesis. Watching a free show (Impact) on Spike TV is one thing (and judging by the ratings so far, TNA is doing well) but is your product good enough to get people to pay to see it. As I said in last week�s column, TNA needs to start making some money. Right now, pay-per-view (PPV) is their main revenue source.
I first started watching TNA when it was a Wednesday night PPV. I watched the first few shows sporadically and wasn�t overly impressed. There were some good matches but nothing to justify paying $9.95 a week for a poor man�s RAW (actually more like a poor man�s Thunder). Over the next two years I sampled TNA sparingly given the lackluster word of mouth. When TNA ran their one cent �Best of � PPV, I checked it out and was impressed with the quality of matches and how much the product seemed to have improved. I was ready to order some TNA PPV�s again but the subsequent shows were disappointments and TNA went on the back burner. When the company went to Fox Sports, I decided to check it out but there was nothing that stood out and Fox Sports seemed to bounce the show all over their schedule which added to my frustration.
Whether it�s Panda Energy bailing the promotion out of its financial mess or the show finding a home on television, TNA seems to be a promotion with nine lives. The promotion has shot itself in the foot several times but continues to keep on plugging. Given the current state of the WWE, fans such as myself are looking for an alternative. Everytime I think TNA might be that alternative, they screw things up. However things have really seemed to be going their way. Since going to a monthly PPV format and abandoning weekly PPV�s, I have heard nothing but good things about TNA�s product. After watching the debut of Impact on Spike TV, I was impressed enough to give the promotion another try.
Reluctant but hopeful, I ordered the show, not realizing that Bound for Glory is TNA�s flagship PPV (their �Wrestlemania�). This was also TNA�s first PPV since Impact began airing on Spike TV so it is a tremendous opportunity for TNA to keep its existing fans and equally important, draw in other fans.
After watching the PPV and taking time to analyze it, I�d say that the show was a limited success from the standpoint of was I impressed enough to order another show. The matches were all entertaining (some more than others, some less than others), the production values very good, and the commentary surprisingly good. Mike Tenay still reminds me of a serial killer but as long as the guy calls matches like he does, what he does in his spare time is no concern of mine. Don West does a decent to good job on color (his �Awww, right in the nuts� comment put the color in color commentary). Shane Douglas kind of reminds me of Jesse �The Body� Ventura when he used to do the backstage segments for the WWF back in the 1980�s. Overall, the show had a nice feel to it and best of all, at no time did it seem like TNA was trying to emulate the WWE. They established and maintained their own identity. There were a good mix of wrestlers and it didn�t come across as a wasteland of WWE castaways.
Match-wise, I thought the show blew away anything I�ve seen in the WWE since Wrestlemania. There wasn�t a match on the show that disappointed and all of the wrestlers involved seemed to put in a 100% effort. I�m not a big fan of hardcore matches but the Monster�s Ball was amazing. Despite having only watched TNA for a few weeks, I had a good idea what the story was behind most of the matches and TNA didn�t waste my time with drawn out video packages like the WWE does on every PPV.
There was something missing though from the show that made it a homerun rather than the grand slam you�d expect from a promotion�s equivalent of the Super Bowl. It�s hard to put my finger on it but BFG didn�t have the big league feel that WWE shows do. Part of it I think is due to the fact that I�ve just started watching TNA and I need to get the feel for who their stars are and who I like. Familiarity may breed contempt but it also brings a certain comfort level when it comes to watching wrestling, a feeling I don�t quite have with TNA.
There were a few negatives worth mentioning:
1. Iron Man Match length of 30 minutes. Anything less than sixty minutes isn't an Iron Man match .in my book. Styles and Daniels are always a treat to watch in the ring but TNA shouldn�t have made this an Iron Man Match. Personally, I would never air an Iron Man match on a PPV unless the show has 4 hours. An Iron Man match really can screw up the pace of a show and it has to be used carefully.
2. Too many blown spots. Say what you want about the WWE tuning down the cruiserweights but I can't recall seeing as many blown spots as I did at BFG (with the exception of any Lita or Gail Kim match). The X Division is amazing but TNA�s agents really need to work on eliminating the missed spots in their X Division.
3. The X in the Ultimate X match. Not only did it keep falling down but the damned thing looks so cheap. Anything that makes TNA look amateurish needs to be eliminated because they are in a constant fight to avoid being labeled as a minor league to the major league WWE.
4. Gauntlet for the Gold. My beef isn�t with the Gauntlet for the Gold match itself. I like the Gauntlet concept (as I should considering the Royal Rumble match is one of my all-time favorites). With the exception of tonight's Bound for Glory, I never want to see a situation where there is only 15 minutes left for a World Title defense. I also don't like the concept of a wrestler fighting in a tournament and then facing the champion the same night, especially when the wrestler has already wrestled matches before the tournament. It makes the world champion look weak if he loses to a guy who has wrestled twice already and the whole bit has been overplayed in the last few years.
With those exceptions, Bound for Glory was a very enjoyable PPV. Unlike just about every WWE PPV in the last year (except WMXXI), I felt like I got my money's worth. There was hardly any break in the action and a lot of solid wrestling. I am definitely looking to get TNA Genesis next month. The WWE has had ample opportunities to prove me wrong when it comes to the notion that their PPV's are worth $35. I�ve been burned enough by the WWE and now that there�s an alternative, TNA looks to be getting some of my PPV dollars.
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2) Was Dr. Hiney's proctological encounter with Jim Ross as bad as anything (e.g., Katie Vick necrophilia skit) that has ever aired on a wrestling show?
Sandow: I found parts of the Dr. Hiney segment to be hilarious, and therefore would say that it�s not even close to the worst wrestling segment ever, an ignominious label that still belongs to Katie Vick. It�s questionable whether the Dr. Hiney skit has any place in wrestling, but I didn�t find it as horrible as it seems just about the entire Internet Wrestling Community thought it to be. I laughed when the Oklahoma fight song played from Ross�s ass through Vince�s stethoscope. I laughed quite hard at the Jim Ross commentary that played throughout the procedure, and must admit that I also laughed when Vince pulled the bottle of bbq sauce and Mae Young�s other hand out of Ross�s ass. The skit went on too long and was undeniably tasteless, but � for better or worse � I found redeeming qualities in it. I can�t say the same for the Katie Vick segment.
Rickard: The thing that really pisses me off about the skit is that for decades, Vince McMahon has boasted of how he took wrestling out of smoke filled rooms and made it mainstream. Nothing could be further from the truth. While questionable skits and angles are not a McMahon monopoly, I can�t think of anything as tasteless as the stuff McMahon has thrust on WWE audiences over the last twenty years.
Where do I start? Katie Vick immediately comes to mind as one of those times when you�re not only embarrassed to be a wrestling fan but ashamed to be one. The WWE has had more than its fair share of truly tasteless angles and it�s hard to pin down just a few. Let�s take a trip to Vince McMahon�s Hall of Shame (which unlike the WWE Hall of Fame will have a basis for its inductees being there other than �because I said so�) where we acknowledge disgusting, tasteless angles in wrestling history.
Mark Henry gets head from a transsexual-I still can�t believe they aired this and I still can�t figure out what the point of it was.
Mae Young gives birth to a hand- Mae has had some funny skits done but this one was just awful. No point to it and just another example of how Vince will air something that isn�t remotely funny in anyone�s mind but his.
Lita gets raped by Kane. The angle of a valet or wrestler forced to be with someone they hate only to end up joining them willfully has been done before (Baby Doll leaves Tully Blanchard for Dusty Rhodes after being forced to serve as Dusty�s valet for 30 days) but never like this. Not since General Hospital�s Luke and Laura storyline has rape been seen as the path to true love. When Kane showed up on RAW and started sniffing Lita, I knew we as fans were in for a bumpy ride. Little did I imagine that Lita would be raped by Kane, forced to marry him, carry Kane�s baby unsuccessfully, and then act as if they shared some magical bond when they lost their child together.
Katie Vick angle- Vince McMahon found out the hard way that necrophilia (contrary to popular belief) isn�t a good way to promote World Title matches. What can I say about this angle that hasn�t been said? Thank God the angle didn�t garner any publicity from the mainstream press or I would be writing this column under a pseudonym.
There�s no doubt in my mind that Vince thinks the Dr. Heiny skit was pure comedy gold. That and the fact that Vince has surrounded himself with an elite core of yes-men is where the problem lies. Vince McMahon really believes he has his finger on the pulse of the public. After all, didn�t he take the WWF from a regional promotion into the billion dollar WWE? How could he be wrong? In my opinion, Vince sincerely believes he is funny and also believes the downturn in wrestling has nothing to do with the WWE product (basically that it is only a matter of time before the next wrestling boom arrives to bring fans back home to the WWE). Reality may show him different (in the form of a shareholder suit or a new Monday Night War) but until it does, I cringe at the thought of what skits to expect next. Vince McMahon has never backed down from what he thinks is right or entertaining in the past and he isn�t going to now.
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3) Heading into November, it's time to start discussing match of the year candidates. Which matches are your top candidates?
Sandow: There are several candidates (I should state from the outset that I have yet to see Samoa Joe vs. Kobashi), but my match of the year is Austin Aries vs. C.M. Punk from Morristown, N.J., on June 18, 2005. This match was (falsely) billed as Punk�s last Ring of Honor appearance, and it was as emotional an experience as I�ve had at a wrestling event, and that includes being present for Chris Benoit�s title win at Wrestlemania 20. There were better technical matches this year, but none carried quite the emotional wallop of this one. What follows is what I wrote the night of the show:
In my opinion, and it might only be my opinion, Aries vs. Punk and its aftermath blew the top off the five star scale. It's not often you can leave a smart crowd with its collective jaw on the floor, but that's what happened at the Mennan Sports Arena tonight. With all the talk of Punk's difficulty with New Jersey crowds, the one here tonight was putty in his hands, as Punk deviously noted during his unbelievable heel turn on the crowd after defeating Aries.
Punk during his entrance had tears in his eyes, and as soon as his music finished, the crowd chanted "CM Punk," followed by "Please don't go," and finally "Thank you, Punk." Punk was over every bit as much as he was in Chicago for Joe vs. Punk II. Aries came out to enormous boos, and as Punk's name was introduced as challenger, streams came pouring on him from dozens of fans. Aries was booed from the get go, and, with one person in Section A cheering him on, Aries let out a derisive "thank you." Aries played phenomenal heel, and every offensive move he made was greeted with vociferous booing, whereas all of Punk's offense met a round of cheers. It was unbelievable. The one guy cheering Aries in section A was drowned out by a "Shut the f**k up" chant. Although we all *knew* what the outcome demanded (i.e., an Aries win followed by tearful goodbye from Punk) we still played along, cheering for Punk with hope against hope. Then the amazing happened. The impossible. Punk hit the Pepsi Plunge and got the 1-2-3, finally capturing the ROH world title. We were floored and there was an orgasmic explosion that can only be compared to Benoit making HHH tap at Wrestlemania 20.
After soaking in the crowd's cheers, Punk began his goodbye speech, which, even from the beginning, was strangely bordering on heelish. Then Punk relayed a version of the parable of the snake that always retains its treacherous character, and, after finishing the story, Punk�foreshadowing Christopher Daniels�s return -- claimed to be Satan himself. Punk reveled in the fact that the "ROHbots" got behind him ever since Ricky Steamboat turned him babyface several months earlier, and Punk said that all of it was part of a Machiavellian plan to capture the ROH title. One jaw-dropping swerve followed another. Punk said nobody could take the title from him. Suddenly, Christopher Daniels, the Fallen Angel, appeared in the ring, immediately the ultimate babyface, and soon Daniels and Punk appeared to start a match. Ahh, this was how they'd get out of this mess -- Daniels would defeat Punk for the belt tonight. We yelled "Ring the bell" but it was for naught. Punk took the title and exited the arena, and Daniels invoked the line about Elvis having left the building. Daniels then cut a promo saying that he'd go through everyone in the locker room if necessary to take the ROH title. We still pretty much expected for Punk to be forced back into the arena somehow, and to lose to Daniels. But, in the simple but befuddling final swerve of the night, the card was over and Punk was champion.
Four months later, and after viewing the match three more times on tape and dvd, I stand by my immediate reaction: Punk vs. Aries is match of the year.
In the second slot, I�d place A.J. Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels from Unbreakable, TNA�s September ppv. As I said in the first roundtable, this match was beautiful � a work of performing art in the ring that has rarely been equaled and perhaps has never been surpassed. I found this to be just about perfect, and considerably better than any other match of the year candidates. Technically, it was better than Punk vs. Aries, but � although A.J. Styles won the X Division title here � it lacked the genuine emotion that took Punk vs. Aries to another level entirely. From a technical perspective, however, it might be match of the decade.
One forgotten gem lands in spot number three: A.J. Styles vs. Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin in an Ultimate X match at the January Final Resolution ppv. The match had some incredible spots � including a double flip in mid-air by A.J. Styles as he fell from the Ultimate X ropes � but it had psychology to it, too. When it comes voting time, this match will suffer because it occurred so early in the year, and that�s unfortunate.
The match likely to actually be voted match of the year is Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels from Wrestlemania. It benefits from having been on the largest stage possible � Wrestlemania -- and having a dream match aura to it. And it paid off, big time. Bobby Heenan even said it was the best match he�s ever seen. I thought it was a great match, but there were two things that I believe kept it from reaching the level of Styles vs. Joe vs. Daniels. First, though the final ten minutes might have been the finest ten minutes of wrestling I�ve ever seen, the first ten minutes had some slow spots. A match needs time to build, true, but some of the first half of the match struck me as a little bit too slow. Second, minutes before the finish, Michaels scored a near fall on Angle, and Angle kicked out a little late, and the referee had to awkwardly stop counting before three even though Angle�s shoulders were still on the mat. Angle seems to do that an awful lot, and whenever it happens, it takes me out of the match. Still, the match was fantastic and will rightfully be remembered as a Wrestlemania classic. Their first rematch is also a match of the year candidate, and was almost as good as the original. I can�t say the same for the Iron Man contest at Homecoming, which was very good (at least the 75% of it we were able to see on USA television � a full eight minutes were lost to commercials), but didn�t come close to their previous accomplishments.
Finally, I�d like to put in a word for a match that often gets overlooked because it, too, took place at Wrestlemania, but lacked some of the special aura of Angle vs. Michaels. Wrestlemania�s ladder match was in my opinion every bit the equal of Angle vs. Michaels, and Shelton Benjamin was the performer of the show (can anyone forget Benjamin�s run up the ladder?) who I thought was on the verge of becoming a breakout star based on his performance here. Well, things didn�t turn out quite as I had hoped or expected, with Shelton today stuck in a go nowhere feud with the blandest of WWE wrestlers, Kerwin White, the erstwhile Chavo Guerrero. Like Styles vs. Williams vs. Sabin in January, Money in the Bank was a gimmick match with plenty of spots, but -- led by a compelling �injured arm� in ring story told by Chris Benoit -- it still contained solid psychology that made it much more than a mere spotfest, and turned it into a bona fide match of the year candidate.
Rickard: I�ve never been really big on selecting a match of the year and don�t feel qualified to select Match of the Year candidates, let alone the winner. First off, I have the attention span of a three year old child. I can�t remember the main event at this year�s SummerSlam let alone which matches really shined throughout the year. Second, there are just way too many indie promotions to follow to say that I�ve seen a variety of matches (even if I limit things to North America).
One of my biggest complaints about match of the year polls is that inevitably it ends up being a question of what good match was seen by the most people. As anyone who follows ROH (or indie wrestling in general) regularly can attest, there are a lot of phenomenal matches held around the country on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately the number of fans who see this matches are usually a small percentage of the people who vote for match of the year. During an interview discussing his highly acclaimed series with Ricky Steamboat in WCW circa 1989, Flair pointed out that the best matches he had with Steamboat weren�t the ones seen on PPV but the ones he had with Steamboat at house shows, oftentimes in front of small audiences.
With those disclaimers in place, here are my candidates for 2005 match of the year:
Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan- very nicely built up and Michaels carried Hogan to a very good match (and hats off to Hogan for putting in a great effort for a guy who could be a card-carrying member of the AARP). The promos leading up to the match were money and the match itself delivered in terms of psychology and workrate.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels (Monday Night RAW)-this match stuck out. At the time, I questioned why Michaels got the pinfall win over Benjamin (who the WWE just doesn�t know how to use. I don�t buy the argument that he can�t talk. The guy isn�t Flair or Foley on the microphone but he�s no marble mouth either) but looking back, it�s obvious they were setting things up for the main event with Hogan. A great face vs. face match and Michaels superkick leading to the win was executed beautifully. Not much hype to the match but the in-ring quality was amazing.
Abyss, Jimmy Rave, and Alex Shelley versus Roderick Strong, Jack Evans, and Austin Aries in a no disqualification match (Ring of Honor Williamsville, NY 10-15-05). I�m not a big fan of hardcore wrestling but the athletic skills of all men fused with the wild anything goes nature of no-disqualification matches to create one of the best hardcore matches I have ever seen.
Colt Cabana vs. Low-Ki (Ring of Honor, Williamsville, NY 10-15-05)-the match was billed as a grapple match and it really delivered. A very methodical match that reminded me of the old Mid-Atlantic matches where guys battled with holds for sixty minutes except this match was shorter and featured a lot more remarkable submission holds. The match�s downfall was that it ended in a screwjob finish when Homicide came to ringside and distracted Cabana long enough for Low-Ki to kick him and pin him.
One match that should have made it was Triple H vs. Batista at Wrestlemania XXI. I can�t recall a match being so expertly promoted as this one. The build-up to Batista leaving Evolution was fantastic, one of the best bits of promotion in WWE history. Unfortunately the match itself was nothing spectacular and while it wasn�t bad, it didn�t live up to expectations.
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