We Want Insanity
My Son Lucas
A Quiet Place: Hardly Horror
TGIF: Miz vs. Bryan Finally, Nikki Not Seeing Cena, and More
The ROHbot Report: Pittsburgh TV, Masters of the Craft Review, And More
(32 Mins) Honor Nation: Break-Ups and Shake-Ups

Crazy Uncle Ralph's Top Five... Wrestling PPV Names That Sound Like Porn Movies, Times I Pee During Raw, Wrestlers Who Smart Fans Get Mad At You For Saying Bad Things About, Secrets About World Wrestling Insanity Writers, Places I Want To Go To With Mark Henry, and More

By Crazy Uncle Ralph Apr 27, 2009 - 9:24 AM print

OK, so everyone's got this Facebook thing.   I don't.   I don’t use Facebook, Myspace, Myface, Spacebook, or Titter.   I use nothing.   Partially because I don't like them.   Partially because I'm on probation.  


So James is telling me that all the kids are doing this Top Five thing on Facebook.   Top Five Celebrity Crushes and all that nonsense.   So why can't I?   Forget social network sites.   I have this site and as long as I own the domain, Guttman has to let me write it.   So – ha on him.   Sit back and enjoy my lists….or not.   Whatever.    I just like bein' myself….



5 Places I Want To Go To With Mark Henry

5. My Bookie's House

4. My Ex-Wife's House

3. Mae Young's House


1. Space Camp (I just wanna go – even if it’s alone.   Space camp f**kin' rocks.)


5 Divas I Want To Hook Up With


5. Michele McCool

4. Linda McMahon

3. Maryse

2. Santina Marella (When I'm Drunk)

1. Victoria


5 Things I Like To Eat When I'm Drunk


5. Eggs

4. Garlic Knots

3. The nose of that guy that's staring at me like he thinks he's all tough

2. The TV Guide

1. More Alcohol


Top 5 Wrestling PPV Names Besides "Hard Justice" That Sound Like Porn Movies


5.   SummerSlam

4.   In Your House

3.   Bound For Glory

2.   Tuesday In Texas

1.   New Blood Rising


5 Times I Pee During Raw


5. Opening 20 Minute Blah Blah Segment

4. Triple H's Intro

3. The Segment Before The Main Event With The Announcers Telling Me About The Crappy Pay Per View

2. When I finish my beer…freeing up the bottle and allowing me the freedom to not get up

1.   Any segment that starts with the GM talking to someone and someone else comes into the room and that first person leaves.


5 Things That Can Sound Dirty Even Though They Aren't


5. Ol' Yeller

4. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

3. Chicken Fingers

2. Wet Seal (it's a store at my mall)

1.   It's All Good With Aaron Wood


5 Moves That Really Hurt if You Pay a Hooker To Do It To You


5. Piledriver

4. Camel Clutch
3. The Sgt Slaughter Noogie

2. The Visagara

1. Brass Knuckles Punch to the Face


5 Wrestlers Who Smart Fans Get Mad At You For Saying Bad Things About


5.   Rob Van Dam – That Jerk

4.   Lou Thesz – That Jerk From a Long Time Ago

3.    Nigel McGuiness - British Jerk

2.   Bret Hart – Screwjerk

1.   CM Punk – Jerky Money In The Jerk-Bank


5 People I've Never Been Told I Look Like


5. Will Smith

4. Carrie Underwood

3. William Henry Harrison

2. Jane Seymore

1. Mr. Fuji


5 Things I Wonder When I See John Cena On TV

5.   "How old are those god damned shorts?!"

4.   "Is he supposed to be a solider or a white rapper?   What's the gimmick we're shooting for here?"

3.   "How much ass would I get if I was him?   Damn."

2.   "Did he get the "Word Life" thing from Life cereal?   It seems like something he came up with at breakfast."

1.   "Would he come to my bookie's house with me and Mark Henry?"



Top 5 Guys Who Were On The Cookie Of Those Wrestling Ice Cream Bars I Bought In The 1980s


5.   George "The Animal" Steele

4.   George "The Animal" Steele

3.   The Junkyard Dog

2.   George "The Animal" Steel (the last e was smudged off)

1.   George "The Animal" Steele


5 Secrets About World Wrestling Insanity Writers


5. Canadian Bulldog, Aaron Wood – Married.

4.   Mike Rickard's Old School?   St. Mary's Junior High For F**kin' Morons

3.   ZAH's parents named him that because when he was born, they thought he was an alien.

2.   R.D. Lee, Fritz Stephey, James Bullock, and Matt Dawgs are all the same person.   That person: Chuck Woolery.

1.   James Guttman has interviewed over 150 stars on ClubWWI.com.   Oh.   You knew that one already?   Probably because he says it every five friggin' minutes.


5 Dave Batista Pick Up Lines


5.   "Yo.   You wanna cut my hair?"

4.   "Are those space pants you're wearing because your ass is out of this world."

3.   "Want me to Unleash the Animal?"

2.   "So…you're new here, huh?"

1.   "Get in the car.   I can crush you with my bare hands."



blog comments powered by Disqus

JG col

My Son Lucas
JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends
(33 Minutes) James Guttman's Free 2009 Interview With Mr. Fuji
JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Facebook Posts To Annoy Your Friends
JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE

The ROHbot Report: Pittsburgh TV, Masters of the Craft Review, And More
The Challenge: Vendettas - Reunion (Part 2)
TGIF: Miz vs. Bryan Finally, Nikki Not Seeing Cena, and More
The ROHbot Report: Supercard of Honor XII, Masters of the Craft, And More
A Quiet Place: Hardly Horror
The Challenge: Vendettas - Reunion (Part 1)
TGIF: Unhappy Rusev Day, After The Mania, and More
The Challenge: Vendettas Episode 14
The ROHbot Report: Flip's Proving Ground, Returning to Florida, and More
TGIF: Miz Baby Face, Will Ospreay Survive, and More
The ROHbot Report: Supercard of Honor XII Preview, Defy or Deny, More
The Challenge: Vendettas - Episode 13
TGIF: Shane-moa Joe, Gray Wyatt, and More
Worth Your Money? "ROH Elite"
Halloween 2018: What To Expect
TGIF: Welcome Back Daniel, Maybe Hulk Too, and More
The Challenge: Vendettas - Episode 12
The ROHbot Report: 16th Anniversary, NJPW at Supercard, And More
TGIF: Jersey Gets WrestleMania 35, Impact of Honor, and More
The Challenge: Vendettas Episode 11
The ROHbot Report:16th Anniversary, Manhattan Mayhem, Ishii Returns, And More
TGIF: All In Chicago, Deleting The Buzzards, and More
The Challenge: Vendettas Episode 10
Star Wars Rebels: A Review
The Challenge: Vendettas Episode 9
TGIF: Cena's 619 Path, Create or Die 2, and More
The Challenge: Vendettas - Episode 8
The ROHbot Report: Honor Rising, ROH The Experience Returns, And More
Walking Dead Mid-Season 8 Guide
TGIF: H-A-Double L, Redesigning Rollins, and More


The Never-Seen-It Review: The Lord of the Rings
Aug 7, 2013
Uncle Ralph's TNA Slammiversary (and Parole Party) Report
Jun 3, 2013
Uncle Ralph's 2013 Hall of Fame TV Review
Apr 10, 2013
Uncle Ralph's Night Before Christmas
Dec 25, 2012
Go Kill Yourself, Elf On The Shelf!
Dec 10, 2012
Uncle Ralph's Soundtrack For a Drunken Angry Christmas
Dec 6, 2012
"Dear Mickey Nimage" Love, Uncle Ralph
Nov 29, 2012
Uncle Ralph's Main Event Real Time Report: The Greatest Day In The History Of The Internet
Oct 3, 2012
Uncle Ralph (Hearts) Impact: Avis and Eggs
Aug 17, 2012
Crazy Uncle Smackdown: Great Khali's Fine Head, Toilet Brush Face, and Randy Ortino
Feb 17, 2012
"I Watch Impact Drunk" - A Poem By Uncle Ralph
Jun 22, 2011
Uncle Ralph's Drunk Enough For Tough Enough: Episode Five
May 3, 2011
Crazy Uncle Ralph Previews...WrestleMania 27
Mar 29, 2011
Crazy Uncle Ralph Previews UFC 121: Barack vs. Kane Inside The Ominous Octagon Inferno Cage of Doom
Oct 19, 2010
Five Years of Insanity: Sandow, Rickard, and Uncle Ralph Volume 1
Oct 1, 2010
Uncle Ralph's NXT Report: Ahhhh. Lowki Senshi Kaval! KAVAL!
Jul 6, 2010
Uncle Ralph's NXT Report: Rookies, Old Wrestlers' Kids, and Low Ki Not Wearing His Pajamas
Jun 29, 2010
Crazy Uncle Ralph's WWE SuperStars SuperReview: Primo Ain't So Good, Neither is Matt Hardy or The Guy Who Lost To Luke Gallows
Mar 3, 2010
Crazy Uncle Ralph's WWE SuperStars SuperReview: A Week Late Because I Was In Jail
Feb 4, 2010
Uncle Ralph's ECW Report: Christian Defends The Title Against An Adorable Widdle Guy Named Yoshi
Oct 27, 2009

Even More From This Category >>
ClubWWI.com Contact Us Forums
All content contained here Copyright - We Want Insanity Dot Com