RDLee's WWE Monday Night Raw - Rocked Edition
By RDLee
Nov 14, 2011 - 7:33 PM

Michael Cole started the show and brought out Jim Ross for the challenge. Apparently there will be 3 challenges tonight with the first being an arm wrestling contest which JR won easy by slamming Cole's arm down with force. The second challenge is a dance competition which JR won once again after dancing like a retarded monkey. The third challenge featured a scale and was called "Who weighs less". Cole went first and weighed in at 200 pounds. JR weighed more at 239 pounds so Cole announced that he won the challenge.

CM Punk's music hit and he came walking out with a smirk on his face. They showed the Michael Cole Twitter on the bottom of the page. Punk said that this whole thing was a giant waste of time except for JR's dancing skills. Punk told Cole that JR was a better announcer than him and that his fifteen minutes of fame are up. He also added that when he becomes champion again he will do anything at all to make the show entertaining including being an announcer, time keeper, referee, or whatever he had to do.

Johnny Ace came out and name dropped his Twitter account. He announced that Punk would team up with Big Show to face Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio. Michael Cole demanded that Punk apologized to him right now. Punk locked Cole in the Anaconda Vice instead to end the segment.


Backstage we saw Matt Striker standing by waiting for the Rock to arrive when suddenly Mick Foley came out of the limo instead. Foley said it was great to be back in the WWE and appeared to be heading to the ring.


Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston v.s. Cody Rhodes and Hunico

Cody is no longer wearing the mask or coming out to the grotesqe music. He is now GENERIC AGAIN. What the hell is wrong with WWE? Why not have him become "Dashing" again or something? Hunico now looks like one of those little "Homie" toys you could buy in a quarter machine at the grocery store. Rhodes hit the Cross Rhodes on Kofi to win the match for his team.

Winners: Cody Rhodes and Hunico


Backstage we saw Santino playing WWE '12 when Zack Ryder approached him to ask if he would sign his United States title petition. They debated on who was better, The Rock or John Cena. Santino sided with Rock while Ryder picked Cena. Santino signed the petition after the back and forth.


Dolph Ziggler v.s. Mason Ryan

Before the match, Vickie Guerrero came out to announce that Christian suffered some injuries and is forced to be out of Survivor Series. Also, Johnny Ace came out with Michael Cole and had him take JR's place on the announce table. Ziggler got himself DQ'ed as soon as the match started to avoid fighting Ryan. John Morrison tossed Dolph back in the ring and Mason rag dolled Ziggler and nailed him with his full nelson slam finisher.

Winner by DQ: Mason Ryan


Mick Foley came out to make his first WWE appearance in a few years. First thing he said was "There's no place like home". A slight shot at TNA if you ask me since he didn't belong there to begin with. Foley brought out John Cena and said he was going to fix things between him and the Rock. They went back and forth about how they respect each other. Foley showed off his hybrid Cena/Rock t-shirt before going into a "This Is Your Life" video package for Cena.

Next, Mick brought out John's little league coach who shared a story of how Cena struck out and cost his team the game. Next, they brought out Club WWI's own audio host, Bull Buchanan also known as B-2 back when Cena was a newcomer in the WWE. Very cool surprise. Bull told us that teaming with Cena was the greatest time of his life. Bull next started to talk about how bad his life has become since they broke up. He said he got fired, lost all his money, wife left him, and his dog gave him rabies. B-2 told Cena he ruined his life before storming off.

The final guest was John Cena's dad who belittled the crowd for hating on his son. He told the crowd that Cena doesn't suck, they suck. John had his head down the entire time in shame. John told his dad that he made his point, they would discuss this all later on. Cena next told Mick this segment was done but Foley told him that he has five more surprises for him... But out of nowhere the Rock's music hit and he came out, Rock Bottomed Mick Foley and left to end this crap.


Sheamus v.s. Jack Swagger (with Vickie Guerrero)

They showed clip of Sheamus giving an award to Justin Beiber on some music show. Back and forth match that I missed the majority of ended after a Brogue Kick from Sheamus to Swagger after reversing an Ankle Lock.

Winner: Sheamus


Natalya v.s. Kelly Kelly

Eve Torres and Alicia Fox accompanied Kelly while Beth Phoenix cornered her fellow Diva of Doom, Nattie. They showed a video package of Kelly's Maxim shoot. Who cares about shit like this? I don't. Kelly wins in a quick match with a roll up while Nattie was going for the Sharpshooter. Filler material.

Winner: Kelly Kelly


Backstage we saw Johnny Ace tell Brodus Clay on the phone that he will debut next week now instead of tonight. More bait and switch bullshit. Alberto Del Rio walked into the scene and told Ace that he would be WWE Champion for a long time, longer than he will be the General Manager.


Alberto Del Rio and Mark Henry v.s. CM Punk and Big Show

The WWE and World Heavyweight Champion are teaming in this match which is sort of rare. After all these years, Henry finally has his own t-shirt, which says "Hall of Pain" on it. Before the match Del Rio attacked Punk in the back but he recovered enough to make it out here for this bout. Del Rio stole the pin and win for his team after Henry hit Punk with a World's Strongest Slam. After the match Del Rio locked on the Cross Armbreaker to send a message.

Winners: Alberto Del Rio and Mark Henry


Santino Marella came out and reminded everyone that it was in this arena where he almost won the Royal Rumble. He said he would use tonight as the night he got his career back on track. Kevin Nash came out to the N.W.O. music, told Santino he was a big fan of his and then hit him with a big boot to the skull after getting him to do his victory march. Nash reminded us of his big reaction at the Rumble and told Triple H that he is here and he is not. Big Sexy gave the jack knife powerbomb to Santino before leaving.


Wade Barrett v.s. Randy Orton

Both men came out with their respective teams. Barrett got on the mic before the match and take about how he would lead by example and show them how he would devenomize the Viper. The match broke down into a brawl between both teams with the babyfaces getting the upperhand and clearing out the ring.

No Contest


The Rock finally made his way out for his segment. He milked the hell out of an average reaction. Rock ran down his entire day from breakfast to shooting G.I. Joe 2. He talked about how he is a trending topic on Twitter right now. Who cares? I don't. The crowd chanted "Boots to Asses". He called out The Awesome Truth and they came out. Miz and Truth took turns taking shots verbally on the Rock before John Cena made his way out to even the odds.

Cena took the first shot by saying the only time he brings it is live via satellite. Rock responded by making fun of his child fanbase. They wouldn't even look at each other while they continued their back and forth. Miz jumped in and told them to shut up before Truth told them they would beat them on Sunday.

Rock attacked Truth and began laying the smack down on him. Rock Bottom on R-Truth as Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Miz but Rock pulls Miz off and hits a Rock Bottom to steal the spotlight. Rock and Cena have a stare down as the show goes off the air.

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