RDLee's WWE Monday Night Raw Results - MLK Day 2012 Edition
Jan 16, 2012 - 8:30 PM
Mick Foley opened the show and announced that he will be in the 2012 Royal Rumble match. Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler came out to respond to Mick's announcement. Ziggler asked Foley if he seriously wanted to take away someone else's hard earned spot so he can impress his kids. Mick said yes, of course. Dolph suggested that he will embarass himself and be quickly eliminated. Mick responded by saying he is in the Rumble not just to show up but to win it.
Ziggler said he couldn't think of a bigger letdown then having to defend the WWE title against an out of shape, has been like Mick Foley at Wrestlemania. Dolph told Mick that it's over and just go home. CM Punk's music hit and he came out. As I'm writing this I notice that my dog took a shit in the other room and it stinks like hell. Punk suggested that Dolph hides behind Vickie and hasn't earned a thing.
Punk told Mick it would be an honor to wrestle him at Mania if he won the Rumble. Johnny Ace came out on the stage and told Mick that he could not be in the 2012 Royal Rumble match. Vickie got in Mick's face and laughed at him.
WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match - Air Boom v.s. Primo and Epico
Last night, at a house show, Primo and Epico won the titles from Kofi and Evan in a tag team championship match. Tonight, the champs envoked their rematch clause and thus this match is taking place. Kofi hit the Trouble in Paradise but Epico was still able to hit the Backstabber on Evan to retain the titles.
Winners and STILL WWE Unifiied Tag Team Champions: Primo and Epico
WWE United States Championship Match - Zack Ryder v.s. Jack Swagger
Eve accompanied Zack to the ring. Ryder was wearing tape around his ribs and still selling the effects of his injury by Kane last week. Swagger hit the Gutwrench Powerbomb and only got a two count. He hit a second one and Ryder kicked out yet again much to my surprise. However, a third one spelled the end as Swagger got the job done and won the United States title.
Winner and NEW WWE United States Champion: Jack Swagger
Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox v.s. The Bella Twins
Perez Hilton came out to boos. He is the special guest ring announcer for this match. The Twins tried to do some Twin Magic but Perez pulled the one who cheated out of the ring which allowed Kelly to roll up the legal twin to get the win. Too fast to be considered a match. Afterwards the Bella pushed Hilton down as Kelly and Fox stepped in to run the twins off.
Winners: Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox
R-Truth came out to talk but was immediately interupted by Wade Barrett who claimed he would be the winner of the Royal Rumble match. He suggested that Truth be put in a straight jacket. Truth said that he went to Disney World today and it put it a smile on his face. He showed some pics of him with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Pinnoccio whose nose grew when he told him Wade would win the Rumble. The Miz snuck in the ring from behind and beat down Truth until Sheamus came out to make the save. The faces cleared the heels out of the ring as Teddy Long came out and made the following match.
Over The Top Rope Challenge - R-Truth v.s. The Miz v.s. Wade Barrett v.s. Sheamus
Same rules as the Royal Rumble. Over the top rope eliminates a guy and the last man in the ring wins. Miz, Truth and Sheamus triple teamed Barrett and tossed him out quickly as the match begun. Sheamus went to toss Miz out but Truth took advantage and spilled both men over at the same time winning the match. Afterwards, Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick on Miz outside the ring.
Jack Swagger v.s. John Cena
Per orders of Johnny Ace, this match is a result of Swagger's early flawed victory over an injured Zack Ryder. Cena seemed to embrace the hate a little as he kicked Swagger's ass on the outside of the ring. As Cena was about to drop the steel steps on Swagger, Kane's music hit and he appeared on the titantron to tell Cena that by the time they meet at the Rumble he will have embraced the hate.
Brodus Clay v.s. JTG
I guess The Funkasaurus will be steam rolling through the WWE's jobber roster for a while. He defeats JTG really easy with his finisher "Funk It" which is a running crossbody.
Winner: Brodus Clay
Daniel Bryan came out to address what happened last week with AJ by the Big Show. Bryan trashed Show for what he did. Daniel dedicated his match with Mark Henry this week on Smackdown to his fallen girlfriend.
Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and Chris Jericho v.s. Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler and David Otunga
Y2J came out with his old attire but still wearing the light bright jacket and pointed out Mr. Belding, Dennis Haskins, who was in the front row. Ziggler was the work horse for this bout while Jericho simply fired up and pandered to the crowd when he got tagged in. Before he saw any action he tagged out to Bryan and walked out of the arena. It was pretty funny actually.
The match became a handicap match as a result of the Jericho ordeal. Next, Henry and Bryan battled their way to the back leaving Punk alone against Otunga and Ziggler. Mick Foley's music hit and he came out to even the odds for Punk. Foley was tagged in and he came in and beat down Otunga and getting out Mr. Socko to get the win.
Winners: Mick Foley and CM Punk
Johnny Ace came out to protest what just took place. He told Foley he wasn't given permission to be in the match. As a result he reversed the decision of the match giving Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler and David Otunga the win.
Punk snatched the microphone away from him and went off on how bad his career was. He called him boring and tells him that he was jealous of him. He finished by telling Ace that no matter what happens he will always be better than him and if he screws him at the Rumble he would kick his ass. He faked hitting him and called him pathetic as he cowered away.
Punk left the ring as Foley took his turn putting down Ace too. Johnny finally had enough and showed some attitude. He said he was sick and tired of being bullied. He stuck Foley with the microphone laying him out as the show ended.
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