Be sure to check back after Raw for this week's edition of
J.G.'s Raw Insanity!
Welcome to WWI's ongoing coverage of Raw, taped earlier today at the Sheffield Arena in Sheffield, England.
The Guest Host this week will be fighter Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton. No offense to Mr. Hatton, but I'm probably not alone in wishing it was the other Hitman--the one most wrestling fans know and love.
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Justin Roberts introduced fan favorite Ricky Hatton, M.B.E., who came out with the Bella Twins.
Hatton talked about his fond memories of the Sheffield Arena, and he hoped to make some new memories tonight. Wouldn't ya know, he was interrupted by Big Show and Chris Jericho. Big Show said his breakfast was bigger than Hatton.
Big Show bravely offered his chin to Hatton for a free punch. He even got down on his knees to even the size difference. But Jericho stood between them and took the opportunity to engage in a bit of pre-PPV trash talking.
Hatton reminded them that he was in charge tonight and wanted to see them opposite DX tonight.
Jericho make a crack about Queen Elizabeth and Hatton told him to speak "English."
Out came DX. Triple X wanted to know why JeriShow come out every week to "greet" the guest hosts and then get humiliated by them. JeriShow got chased out of the ring by DX and Hatton uttering the two most famous words in wrestling, "Suck it."
(Commercial break)
(1) Kelly Kelly (w/Gail Kim) vs. Alicia Fox (w/Jillian).
Hair pull. Stomp. Back flip by Kelly Kelly. Cat fight. Scissor Kick by Alicia for the pin and the win.
Hatton was walking backstage with a youngster, presumably his son. Introductions were made, but I couldn't understand a thing he said.
(Commercial break)
Clips were shown of Jamie Noble's beat down by Seamus the Redhead. Michael Cole said Noble had spent sever days in a "medical facility."
Seamus said he was pleased to have ended Jamie Noble's career last week. This week he faced an unnamed Englishman.
(2) Seamus vs. Job Guy.
When a guy doesn't even get his name mentioned, you've got to figure he's toast. Sure enough, the end came quickly and Seamus put Job Guy out of his misery.
(Commercial break)
The Bellas were chatting with Ricky Hatton and challenged him to a game of darts. Santino walked up and Hatton introduced him as his alter ego, Ricky Fatton.
Chavo walked up and wanted to play darts, too. However, he ended up in a match with the real Ricky Hatton in a Boxer vs. Wrestler match.
Josh Matthews introduced the United States Champion, The Miz, who traded insults with Jack Swagger, who had butted into the conversation.
(Commercial break)
(3) Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne.
Swagger started off in full bully mode. Bourne finally got his chance and came after Swagger with an Airborne Press and pinned him for the win.
Swagger was trying to show off in front of The Miz, but his embarrassing loss to Bourne did not score any points with the Awesome Miz.
(Commercial break)
Two weeks ago, Kyle Busch had driven the Smackdown-Raw race car into the arena when he had guest hosted Raw with Joey Logano. Last Saturday in Texas, Kyle won the race and put the Smackdown-Raw race car in Victory Lane.
MVP and Mark Henry opened the Sheffield branch of the VIP Lounge with their guest, Kofi Kingston. They all popped open beverages and had a couple of swigs before Randy Orton and Legacy came out to raise hell. A "security guard" allowed Orton into the ring…err…lounge.
Randy called them a bunch of low-class street thugs. Blah, blah, blah.
He's still mad about the vandalized race car, too. Randy told the "hood rats" to get to stepping out of his ring, but got his face slapped by Kingston instead.
(Commercial break)
(4) Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton.
This match had started during the break. Big elbow drop on Orton by Henry, but Orton had rolled out of harm's way. Instead, Orton stomped his way around Henry and all but made him cry.
It was announced that MVP would go head to head with Ted DiBiase on Thursday night's Superstars Show on WGN-America.
Mark Henry had rallied and was about to squash Orton when Orton managed to pin him.
That was all Kofi could take, however, and he attacked Orton, with the requisite sneering and trash talking from both parties.
(Commercial break)
(5) Wrestler vs. Boxer Match: Ricky Hatton vs. Chavo Guerrero.
Hatton came out wearing a blue sombrero. According to the rules, such as they are, Hatton must win by knock out and Chavo must win by pinfall or submission.
Hatton can throw a punch! He smacked Chavo in the head, knocking him down and out and winning the match.
(Commercial break)
John Cena was warning Hornswoggle about dressing like DX. DX came in looking for him, but Cena suggested that they concentrate on their Triple Threat Match instead.
DX insisted on seeing Hornswoggle, who came out dressed in Cena merch. Once they left the room, HBKSwoggle put the DX gear back on.
(Commercial break)
Last week the Osbournes had ridden the Crazy Train to Raw. None of what they did bears repeating.
Next week's Guest Host will be Rowdy Roddy Piper. Thank goodness -- a real wrestler as Guest Host.
Cena joined Lawler and Cole at the announce position.
(6) Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels).
[Cable difficulties]
The finish: While making an HBK sandwich, Big Show inadvertently knocked out Jericho. When Show was dumped over the side, Shawn Michaels used the opportunity to cover Jericho for the win.
Next Monday will feature a Triple Threat Match among DX vs. JeriShow vs. Cena & The Undertaker.