Welcome to WWI's ongoing coverage of Raw, live from Madison Square Garden in New York City.

The Guest Host this week will be *gasp* a wrestler, the legendary Rowdy Roddy Piper.

And unless it has morphed into something else since the announcement last week, we've been promised a Triple Threat Match among DX vs. JeriShow vs. Cena & The Undertaker.

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The show opened with Roddy Piper, along with actor Luiz Guzman, in Piper's Pit. Roddy said he was an artiste now, and told Guzman he was a chef. What??? Piper said he'd brought in Iron Chef Bobby Flay for Guzman, but instead, the Iron Shiek came out babbling about Hulk Hogan. Then the Bellas came out for no apparent reason. Come to think of it, there was no apparent reason for this whole segment.

The show has only been on for three minutes and I'm ready to bail.

The Miz came out prior to his match and dissed the New York Yankees. Really? According to The Miz they'd brought the title. The Miz really riled up the crowd and they were booing him and telling him he sucked. They didn't agree with that "awesome" thing, either.

In contrast to The Miz's contentious entrance, MVP came out wearing a Yankee's cap which he left at ringside with Sheree Shepperd, MVP's prom date from an earlier storyline.

Good match, with The Miz taking a licking and MVP in control. However, The Miz made the winning pin and retained his title.

(Commercial break)

Chavo was in the ring and was soon joined by Santino Marella in a Rangers jersey, under which was a Giants jersey, under which was a Knicks jersey, umder which was a Jets jersey, under which was Mets jersey, under which was a Phillies jersey…and on and on it went.

The match finally got underway and Chavo went up top and was going to land on Santino, but he kept rolling out of the way. But you probably know what came next. HBKSwoggle came out and made sure that Chavo lost the match.  Can you say predictable? 

But DX, still on the trail of HBKSwoggle who is infringing on their gimmick, came out next to peddle their merch, although they said they weren't going to talk about it.

But what they really wanted to talk about was the big fat elephant in the room, i.e., their Survivor Series match this Sunday. Triple H assured the crowd that he and HBK would not turn on each other. They would be a unit. They would not tear each other apart. You know what that means, dontcha? (Prediction: A nasty breakup on Sunday night.)

With that said, they wanted to address Hornswoggle for pretending to be a member of DX and stealing their merchandise. They offered to let him be a member of DX and HBKSwoggle got into the ring doing the DX chop. Triple H started the "are you ready?" business, then kicked Hornswoggle in the gut and pedigreed him. Nice job, guys. Proud of yourselves?

They removed Hornswoggle from the ring on a skateboard.

(Commercial break)

Michael Cole asked Jerry Lawler what was so great about MSG, which led to a montage of magical moments from the past, including Stone Cold and The Rock. Ahhhh…those were the days.

Back to Piper's Pit. Chris Jericho stopped by to "admire" Piper's souvenirs, but Piper blew his nose a bit too close to Jericho and then coughed all over him. Then Chris Masters joined them a made his man boobs dance, which the Bellas seemed to enjoy. Jericho had a look on his face that that said he felt dirty. He shouldn't feel like the Lone Ranger.

(Commercial break)

Guest Ring announcer was Judah Friedlader of "30 Rock" who got a rather grandiose introduction as a martial arts champion, among other things.

Alicia asked Judah to introduce her as future something or another, but Judah said he'd only taken this gig to watch Melina's entrance and to announce that this match was now a LumberJill match.

Needless to say, Melina won, although the heel Divas jumped into the ring after the match and beat the crap out of her. Melina was saved by the baby face divas, and they all hugged on Judah.

(Commercial break)

WWE and USA have renewed their contract.

Justin Roberts introduced Rowdy Roddy Piper. Again.

*Bagpipe alert*

This time Hot Rod came down to the ring and basked in the adulation of the New York fans. He got to reminiscing and recalled he'd embarrassed Cindy Lauper and claimed to be the reason Hulk Hogan has no hair. Hot Rod seemed to be in his own loopy little world. He said wanted one more match with Vincent Kennedy McMahon before he checks out.

That got the Chairman's attention, and he headed to the ring with his familiar loaded-diaper waddle. Mister McMahon complimented Piper on this poorly dyed hair and noted that Mother Nature had not been too kind to Piper. McMahon declined Piper's invitation for a match because he was officially retired.

Piper made a crack about McMahon's suit looking like he got from John Gotti and called him a coward. Piper, however, challenged McMahon to a street fight. With that, Piper and his bagpipes left the ring and headed up the ramp.

(Commercial break)

Two weeks ago Jaime Noble got his behind handed to him by Seamus and since that time he had decimated each week's opponents. Perhaps that's why no one wanted to get into the ring with him tonight.

Seamus got no takers to his challenge and attacked a crew member at ringside. Jerry Lawler stood up to defend the poor guy and got a kick to the head.

Seamus was satisfied with the two he'd taken out and headed back up the ramp.

(Commercial break)

Matt Striker, who lives in New York, had apparently hurried down to join Michael Cole at the announce position since Lawler had just been carried out.

This was a rematch and had started during the break; the action was already fast and furious. Unfortunately this was a short match, but each was getting in some awesome moves before Swagger's gut wrench power bomb took down Bourne for the win.

Piper was headed to the ring.

(Commercial break)

Mister McMahon apparently pulled a switcheroo on Hot Rod and sent Randy Orton out in his place. Striker suggested that this might be payback for some of the horrible things Piper had done. Randy kicked Roddy in the head and then stomped mercilessly on the legend. Randy started to punt Roddy in the head, but Kofi Kingston ran out and made the save, tossing Orton into the crowd and pummeling his sorry ass. But Randy tossed Kofi back over the guardrail and rammed his head into the ring steps.

The match moved back into the crowd and referees swarmed out to break up the "unofficial" match. The two climbed into the stands and Kofi was definitely getting the better of Orton. Kofi eventually came off a railing and smashed onto a table with Orton atop it. "Randy Orton will never forget Kofi Kingston," observed Striker.

(Commercial break)

John Cena announced the participants for the next match. He was beginning to second guess himself about teaming with the Undertaker at Survivor Series since he's a little hard to talk to, but so be it.

It's now the top of the third hour, which technically means that the show is over. But the main event has yet to start. Couldn't they have eliminated some of the crappy filler in this show and given this match the time it deserved? Just asking.

No one's entrance could compare to The Undertaker's. He had blue lights, Druids and flaming torches--just like old times. This is the first time 'Taker has been in action on Raw in a year, viewers were told.

Taker and Triple H went after Big Show and sent him over the side, then Taker concentrated on Triple H. Triple H tagged HBK in just as Taker did his famous "sit up." HBK did battle with Taker, then Big Show tagged in Jericho, who put HBK in the Walls of Jericho briefly. Triple H and John Cena had a bone to pick and started throwing punches. Big Show flattened Triple H, then he and Taker got into it. Hot tag by Triple H to HBK who dropped an elbow on Jericho, then tuned up for some Chin Music. Cena put a stop to that, and Show got the sweet chin music.  Jericho got an UT choke slam. Cena covered Triple H and pinned him. But Taker picked up Cena, a member of his own team, and gave him a pile driver.

This show certainly had its faults, but that last match was awesome!

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Don't forget next Monday night will be the special three-hour Thanksgiving edition of Raw with Gov. Jesse Ventura as Guest Host. Why the extra hour? Why for the festive holiday food fight, of course. Check your local listings for the start time.