Welcome to WWI's coverage of Raw, live from the American Bank Center in Corpus Christi, Texas. Tonight's guest host is Dennis Miller. Announcers were Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole and Matt Striker.

Apparently, the Slammies have become a new holiday tradition. If Miller continues to make lame jokes, hopefully he won't be part of that tradition. So far the only person laughing is Jerry "The King" Lawler.

Moving right along …

R. Truth and Jillian Hall presented the first Slammy award.  Nominees were DX, Legacy, the Hart Dynasty, and JeriShow. And the winners were Chris Jericho and Big Show. Lots of boos from the audience, although I'm not sure if it was because the show was bad or because the winners were heels.

In case you missed it last night at the TLC pay-per-view, John Cena went through a table, giving Sheamus the win. Hell immediately froze over.

(Commercial break)

ECW's Ruthless Roundtable (Willian Regal, Vladimir Koslov and Ezekiel Jackson) were in the ring getting booed. Regal called out a battered Christian to find partners for tonight. Christian called out Kane and the Great Khali to join him.

(1) William Regal, Vladimir Koslov and Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian, Kane and the Great Khali.

Christian and his much bigger team mates easily won this match.

Okay, back to Dennis Miller.  Borrrr-ing

ECW's General Manager Tiffani and Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long presented the nominees for the Breakout Superstar of the Year: Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu, Abraham Washington. The winner was the new Champ, Sheamus. Imagine that. Loud "You suck" chant.

(Commercial break)

The nominees for Superstar of the Year were CM Punk, the Undertaker, Randy Orton, and John Cena. The winner will be determined by matches later on in the show.

Kofi was flying high and the match was enjoyable. That is, until Ted DiBiase jumped in to interfere, then Evan Bourne jumped in on behalf of Kofi.

Miller interrupted to announce that he'd won a Slammy for Best Announcement by a Guest Host. Thus, he announced that the match would continue as a tag team match.  Whatever.

(Commercial break)

DiBiase had Kofi around the neck when the match came back after the break. Legacy won after Bourne took a devastating slam.

(Commercial break)

More from Dennis Miller. Ugh!

Vickie Guerrero and Santino Marello were the next presenters in the category of Shocker of the Year. The nominees were Randy Orton for stealing something with a kiss, CM Punk ending Jeff Hardy's career, Sheamus putting Mark Cuban through a table. The winner was CM Punk.

(Commercial break)

At long last, the crowd had found something to cheer about -- Cena's entrance.

Punk quickly found himself tapping out to Cena's submission hold, and Cena will move on in the tournament.

Cena congratulated Sheamus and apologized to anyone he might have let down last night and said he was going to pick himself up and carry on. Cena said his road to WrestleMania will start right now, and he will not be stopped.

(Commercial break)

The next Slammy was for the Match of the Year and Triple H presented it. Are you ready? Nominees were: HBK vs. Undertaker at WrestleMania; Breaking Point - Cena vs. Orton; Extreme Rules: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge & Punk cashing in his case; Bragging Rights: Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. The winner was HBK vs. Undertaker at WrestleMania.

The crowd launched into an "HBK" chant, then Shawn Michaels challenged the Undertaker to a match at WrestleMania one more time.

(Commercial break)

Undertaker was about to walk the ropes when Orton pulled him into the ring, but it was followed by a big leg drop by Taker. Legacy had come out in the meantime, however, and made sure UT didn't get back into the ring in time to avoid being counted out. Legacy felt the wrath of 'Taker, and Orton got his behind handed to him even though the match had ended. Will he be able to cope with his upcoming match with Cena?

Vying for Superstar of the Year will be Cena vs. Orton.

(Commercial break)

Even Miller was making cracks about the length of time of this show. I predict that Miller has guest-hosted his last Raw?

The next presenter was Vincent K. McMahon, who told the audience they were lousy.

Might this be a good time to dump the guest host concept????

Nominees of Guest Host of the Year: Bob Barker; Seth Green; Shaquille O'Neal, and the Osbournes. The winner was Bob Barker, who gave a gracious and lengthy acceptance speech.

McMahon asked Miller who he would nominate as a guest host. Miller said the magic words: BRET HART. VKM's response was a sour one and he immediately left the stage.

(Commercial break)

Dennis Miller was chatting on the phone when Chris Jericho walked up to ask a favor. Miller was having none of it and told Jericho he was essentially a walking black hole that sucked the vibe out of the show.

Before the match had even started, DX pulled a fast one, calling out the "honorary" DX members backstage to escort Jericho out of the ring. Also, his rematch clause had been invoked, invalidating any further rematches.

The match continued back stage and out the back door, whereupon Jericho was locked out in the cold.

(Commercial break)

Finally, we've reached the third hour of the "extravaganza."

The next Slammy was presented by Carlito, Eve and Chris Masters. Masters peeled of his shirt and made his boobs dance. The category was for Extreme Moments of the Year and the nominees were Kofi for putting Orton through a table; Triple H's invasion of Orton's home; and Jeff Hardy, who won the award. The Slammy was rudely accepted by Carlito on behalf of Jesus, Puerto Rico and a lot of other people. Chris Masters gave Carlito an "extreme moment" and let Matt Hardy accept the award on behalf of his brother.

(Commercial break)

Preview of Ted DiBiase's new movie.

Yoshi Tatsu made the winning pin for his team.

(Commercial break)

All the Divas were all dressed in evening wear and 6-inch heels, so this was obviously going to be a highly technical match. Mickie made the winning pin for her team, which is fortunate since there was bound to be a wardrobe misfunction.

Golddust came out with MVP to announce the Diva of the Year winner. (Golddust made an awkward remark about PMS and excused himself.) Maria was voted Diva of the Year.

Batista chased Maria off the stage and said it was time to talk about him, since he should receive the Screwjob of the Year Award. He was escorted out by security guards.

This Saturday night the WWE's Tribute to the Troops will air on NBC.

(Commercial break)

Abraham Washington and Tony Atlas and Big Dick Johnson presented the Oh My Moment Award.  The nominees were Chris Masters with the dancing boobs, HBK superkicking a snotty little kid, Santino's pie in the face, Michael Cole puking, Vikie Guerrero getting a pie in the face. Michael Cole's vomit won the award.  Does that tell you anything about this show?

(Commercial break)

Johnny Damon and the Secret Santas will be next week's guest hosts.

DX wasted some more time with nonsense about their merchandise. Come to think of it, that new DX Snuggler looks pretty good.

This match went back and forth and gradually worked its way to the end. Cena nearly had it won when Orton dropped Cena on his head on the floor. Orton would not give up, but Cena made him.  John Cena is the 2009 Superstar of the Year.

Sheamus came out to leer as the show went off the air.

* * *

While I'm not enjoying much about this show, I'm really enjoying Matt Striker announcing with Cole and Lawler tonight.

That said, other than a couple of matches that would have been good if they had been allowed to play out, this show was HORRIBLE. Vince McMahon said it best when he said this audience was lousy. And so were the stupid Slammies. What a waste of time this show was.