RDLee's WWE Monday Night Raw Results - Sparkling Jacket Edition
By RDLee
Jan 9, 2012 - 8:32 PM

Kane opened the show and explained why he embraces the hate. He said that people are too cowardly to do what he does. He claims that when we look at John Cena we are angered because we are jealous that we are not living our dreams like he is. He finished by saying he wanted to end Zack Ryder since he represents us and the choice we chose for a hero.

John Cena's music hit and he came out looking for a fight. Cena and Kane brawled into the backstage area. They tossed each other into things and when Cena gained the upper hand, Kane literally disappeared into thin air.


Sheamus and Santino Marella v.s. Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal

Wouldn't Drew McIntyre have made more sense to be in this match considering his beef with Santino? Eh, I guess maybe the issue is more that Santino doesn't belong in here but oh well. Quick match and not much to note as Sheamus took over once he got tagged in hitting the Brogue Kick before tagging in Santino who hit the Cobra on Mahal to get the win.

Winners: Santino and Sheamus


The first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2012 is Edge.


Backstage we caught Zack Ryder and Eve chatting. She asked him if he is worried about Kane. He said no and finally straight up asked her out. She said yes but after her match with Beth Phoenix later tonight. The camera panned out and we saw Kane stalking them.


Kofi Kingston v.s. Daniel Bryan

This is a champion versus champion match brought on earlier today in a web exclusive vide feature. This was a quick match as Bryan locked in the Lebell Lock and forced a tap out in under a minute. After the match, Big Show came out. Daniel told Show that he would give him a World title rematch anytime he wants. Show told him that Teddy Long made their rematch for this Friday night on Smackdown and it's a No DQ, No Countout match.

Winner: Daniel Bryan


Brodus Clay v.s. Curt Hawkins

They introduced Clay as the Funk-A-Saurus from Funkville or some shit like that. He had some lame music and dancers with his new gimmick that essentially killed his career before it started in my opinion. Squash match saw him hit a running crossbody to win. WHAT. THE. F**K. Only WWE could disappoint people who patiently wait like this.

Winner: Brodus Clay


Jack Swagger v.s. CM Punk

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler cornered Swagger. Johnny Ace came out before the match started and said that if Punk wins he will ban Vickie and Swagger from being ringside at Royal Rumble in the WWE title match. Punk hit a Macho Man elbow drop and picked up an accidental three count even though Swagger pulled his shoulder up.

Johnny Ace celebrated his win on the apron afterwards. The whole idea for this ending was to set up the fact that Ace will be a better referee since he won't make a mistake in the deciding pin fall.

Winner: CM Punk


The second inductees into the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2012 are the Four Horsemen.


Ricardo the ring announcer called out R-Truth for Miz. Truth forced Ricardo to sing the "La Cuca Rocha" song which garnered a pop from the crowd. Ricardo accidentally knocked Truth's microphone out of his hand which lead to Truth hitting his finisher on him. Miz slid into the ring from behind and assaulted Truth. Once Truth regained some momentum, Miz ran away through the crowd.


Chris Jericho came out, once again, with a grand entrance and wearing a sparkling jacket. He played/pandered to the crowd for a good couple of minutes and posed in front of the LOSER Sign Guy before grabbing a microphone. The crowd cheered for him nonstop as he began fake crying before leaving the second week in a row without speaking.


The scheduled Eve Torres versus Beth Phoenix m atch never took place as Kane's music hit, she got scared and Zack Ryder ran out to escort her away. Cameras caught them outside as Ryder put Eve in his car. He noticed a tire was flat and immediately tried to change it as Eve locked the doors.


Dolph Ziggler v.s. John Cena

The Showoff showed himself off during this match as he did a head stand during a headlock on the ground. He also did some sit ups after laying Cena out. Of course, as usual though Super-Cena started to do his five moves of doom.

On the titantron we saw Ryder get attacked in the parking lot by Kane as Ziggler locked the sleeper hold on Cena. Kane chokeslammed Ryder off the steps onto the concrete ground as John shook off Ziggler and took off to help Zack outside.

We saw John make his way outside only to be attacked by Kane also. He rape choked him out for the third week in a row close to where Ryder was out cold on the concrete. Kane stood over him as the show ended. 

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