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RDLee's WWE Monday Night Raw Results - Heartbreak Edition

By RDLee Feb 13, 2012 - 8:42 PM print

We opened the show with Kane telling us that there is nothing that will stop him from getting John Cena to embrace the hate. He promised that tonight someone would take a ride in the ambulance he was standing next to.


Inside the ring we saw all the Elimination Chamber participants standing behind podiums. Jerry Lawler hosted this first ever debate. John Laurinaitus came out with David Otunga before the Q and A began. Ace thanked the Board of Directors for giving him another chance as the Raw General Manager.

Our attention was turned back to CM Punk who was asked about his odds in the match. He promised that the debate will not end in violence this time. Punk suggested that Ace kissed some ass to keep his job so congratulations to him. The last thing tht Punk said was that he was the best wrestler in the world.

Dolph Ziggler was allowed to respond but Vickie Guerrero had to demand the crowd excused her before he spoke. Ziggler stated that he was better than Punk. R-Truth interupted and said if he was elected he would trade Ziggler and Vickie to Smackdown for Hornswoggle and a box of spiders. He continued on about the spiders while the crowd did the "What" chant. He finished by telling us he would outlast everyone in the chamber to win.

The Miz was next. He trashed the rest of the participants until a buzzer rang several times to shut him up. Kofi Kingston responded by telling Miz that he might walk in as an afterthought but might walk out as the WWE Champion.

Lastly, Chris Jericho got his chance to speak. He ran down the audience and the men in the ring. He made mention of the fact that he has been in more Elimination Chamber matches than all the people in the ring. He demanded that Punk look at him while he talks. Punk ignored him and then finally acted like he didn't hear anything he said. Dolph Ziggler said this entire debate was a joke. Truth told Dolph that he would not be talked down to by a guy named after Flipper.

Lawler decided that it was time to begin the matches next since this thing was starting to fall apart. Jericho shoved Kofi out of his way as he went over to Punk to smart off to him. Y2J turned around into a Trouble in Paradise by Kingston.


Chris Jericho v.s. Kofi Kingston

This is the first official match that Jericho has wrestled in on Raw in a few years. Kofi set out to prove that he belonged in the upper tier of talent on the roster. Not a very long match. Kingston missed a diving move and Jericho caught him in the Walls of Jericho. Kofi made it to the ropes and rebounded to hit a second Trouble in Paradise. Jericho put his foot on the ropes to save himself. Jericho came back to hit the Codebreaker to win the match.

Winner: Chris Jericho


We saw a couple backstage segments. The first was John Cena telling Zack Ryder (in a wheelchair) to stay in the locker room and let him bring Eve to him so Kane doesn't hurt him again. The next segment we saw David Otunga telling Johnny Ace that he had a plan to get John in the role as the full time Raw AND Smackdown General Manager.


Randy Orton v.s. Big Show

This match is taking place because of the fight that Show and Orton got into last week on Smackdown. Daniel Bryan came out to watch the match. The crowd was a little confused as who to cheer for in this match since both men are babyfaces currently. Somehow Orton actually hit his DDT in the ropes on Big Show which was really impressive. They botched an RKO afterwards and redid the spot. Daniel Bryan jumped in and hit both men with the World Heavyweight title to cause the match to be called off.

No Contest


Shawn Michaels came out to a fairly weak pop unless my speakers are suddenly shit. He started by telling us that he is nervous. He told us that we couldn't have Wrestlemania season without an appearance by Mr. Wrestlemania. He told us that he thinks Hunter is just messing with everyone by not accepting Undertaker's challenge to a Wrestlemania match. He called Hunter down to the ring.

Triple H made his way out to talk to his buddy. HHH told us that he is not going to face the Undertaker at Mania. HBK told him that he understands that he has to uphold his spot as C.O.O. but he needs to be the Cerebral Assasin once again. Hunter told us that it's not who he is anymore. He doesn't want to finish the Undertaker even though he now knows what he has to do to defeat him.

Shawn asked him if he was now a sell-out. Hunter said he isn't a sell-out, he is investing in the future. Shawn called him a coward for not accepting the match. HHH did not take too kindly to those words and gave him a mean mugging. Triple H reminded Shawn that one day the WWE will be his so he can't end a brand as valuable as the Undertakers. He said that he, Shawn and Taker are the end of an era. He told Shawn that he wouldn't let him live through him anymore since he couldn't get the job done himself two times before.

Shawn responded by saying that he is at peace with his life and demanded that Hunter look him in his eyes and tell him that he doesn't want to end the Undertaker and his streak. They squared up as if they were going to fight as Hunter said no and dropped the microphone on the ground. Shawn looked surprised, nodded his head at him and left.

The lights went out as Hunter started to leave and we heard the gong. On the titantron we saw a new Undertaker/Triple H video from last year's Wrestlemania. We heard Undertaker saying that he will get what he wants. Immortality.


Dolph Ziggler v.s. R-Truth

This crowd is absolutely horrible. They were dead during the entire match even though it was pretty damn good. Truth stole the win with a surprise roll-up while Ziggler was showing off during a nice flurry of offense.

Winner: R-Truth

Tamina Snuka v.s. Brie Bella

Looks like they finally gave Tamina her last name officially despite being on the roster for almost two years. Beth Phoenix did commentary during the match. Tamina made short work of Brie hitting the samoan drop followed by the Superfly Splash. Beth and Snuka had a staredown after the match.

Winner: Tamina Snuka


We saw Kane tossing Eve in the back of the ambulance as John Cena ran in to make the save. Unfortunately for Cena, Kane came back and knocked down Cena. Kane nearly drove off with Eve but she jumped out of the back into Cena's arms. Eve then kissed Cena right in front of Ryder, who was stunned.

After the commercial break we saw Eve chasing down Zack to apologize to him. She explained it was just an "in the moment" thing with Cena after he saved her. She told him she cared about him and wanted to be friends. Zack was pissed and rolled away with a sour look.


The Miz v.s. CM Punk

Once again, oddly enough, the crowd seemed dead for the actual in-ring action. Punk appears to have hurt himself because he kept shaking his arm as if he damaged the nerves. They quickly went into the final sequence of the match. Punk hit the Macho Man elbow followed by the Anaconda Vice. Miz tapped.

Winner: CM Punk


John Cena came out and looked uncomfortable about what just happened with Eve. Cena told Zack that for what it's worth, he is sorry. He said Kane's plan all along was to turn everyone against him so he'll embrace the hate. John said it would work on anyone else but he is not going to fall for it. He said he will defeat Kane this Sunday night. He was about to address the Rock but Zack Ryder slowly made his way out to the ring.

Ryder knocked the microphone out of Cena's hand and slapped him across the face. Cena looked angry and took his shirt off. Ryder went to slap him again but Cena stopped him as Zack fell to the ground. Ryder bailed from the ring.

Kane appeared on the titantron and said that Cena has finally embraced the hate after doing what he did to Zack Ryder earlier tonight. Kane promised that Cena will not be seen until Wrestlemania after he leaves the arena in an ambulance this Sunday night. Kane came out and rolled Zack off the stage while he was still in his wheel chair. Holy shit. That looked pretty sick. Cena ran with the doctor to attend to his fallen friend. Eve came out to massive boos to check on Zack. They did the whole stretcher thing as Cena and Eve watched on as the show ended.

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