Welcome to WWI's ongoing coverage of Monday Night Raw, live from Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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The show started with a recap of King William of Regal's coronation that was interrupted by Mr. Kennedy. King William was royally miffed and things went downhill from there and ended in the production truck. (By the way, did anyone notice that King William had reupholstered his throne in a velvety black fabric instead of the more cheerful red?)
Mister McMahon came out on the stage live. He mentioned that King William had pulled the plug on last week's main event. McMahon said Regal's actions had been reprehensible, but also visionary. He said Regal reminded him a lot of himself and he supported and endorsed what Regal had done.
King William strode to the ring as Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show.
Regal asked the crowd if he had their respect. He didn't; if fact, they told him he sucked. "So be it," said Regal. "Turn off the lights."
Fade to black. The crowd continued to tell Regal he sucked. He called for the lights to come back on and reminded the crowd that he would not tolerate being disrespected. Speaking of which…
Mr. Kennedy came down to the ring. He got right in Regal's face and suggested that he could gain Regal's respect if he took him up on his challenge. Regal had a better idea: Mr. Kennedy vs. the Entire ECW Roster.
Just when Regal thought he'd gotten things under control again, Triple H's music hit and he headed to the ring. (Chances are he's going to want something.)
Triple H politely congratulated Regal on his newfound position and power, then offered some friendly advice: Don't make mistakes. He was referring to Regal pulling the plug on Triple H's match with Randy Orton last week. That had been a mistake and a show of disrespect toward the Son-In-Law. He suggested that Regal's reign would be a longer one if he didn't tick off the King of Kings. (Everybody's a king on this show.)
Regal cared not and added Triple H to Kennedy's match with the Entire ECW Roster.
(Commercial Break)
(1) Women's Title Match: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James.
This was a lumberjill match, probably so they could get as many scantily clad divas as possible at ringside. Not the most technical match I've ever seen.
(Commercial break)
What had transpired during the break? Not much. The Bethazon seemed about to dislocate Mickie's shoulders. Ouch! Melina jumped into the mix with her boot ready to strike Mickie, but clobbered the Bethazon instead. Whoops! Mickie with an inside cradle to pin the Bethazon and retain her title. Mark my words: Next week it will be Melina vs. The Bethazon.
King William was backstage chatting with Chris Jericho, who thought HBK was faking his knee injury. Regal said Jericho would be teaming with HBK tonight to take on the ECW Tag Champs.
(Commercial break)
Trevor Murdoch was crooning backstage and found Trish Stratus to serenade. Trish was speechless and Ron Simmons gave him a big "DAMN." It was nice to see Trish again, albeit briefly.
J.R. announced that Ron Simmons is now a member of the College Football Hall of Fame.
Todd Grisham introduced his guest, Randy Orton, who sucked up to King William the GM and disrespected C.M. Punk, whom he would be facing later.
Rowdy Roddy Piper will be Carlito's guest in the Cabana tonight.
(Commercial break)
(2) Two-on-One Handicap Match: Paul Burchall & Katie Lea vs. John Cutler from Toronto.
Regal demanded that J.R.'s mic be turned off, and he introduced Mike Adamle as his replacement for this match.
Adamle started off with a lame joke and the commentary grew ever more riveting. The match was a mess and so was the yammering from Adamle, who displayed absolutely no spontaneity.
Meanwhile, the local guy was getting his behind handed to him. Katie Lea made the winning pin, which ended this segment and Adamle's particpation in the show. Buh bye.
HBK was backstage adjusting his knee brace. He and Jericho talked strategy.
(Commercial break)
Lawler kept telling J.R. how good it was to have him back at the announce position. Amen, brother!
(3) John Morrison & Mike the Miz vs. Chris Jericho & Shawn Michaels.
HBK limped his way down the ramp. Chris Jericho wasn't convinced the leg was injured and shook his head in disgust. The match got underway with Jericho and Morrison. HBK seemed eager to tag in. Morrison cheap-shotted HBK on the apron. HBK retaliated with the Sweet Chin Music, which gave Jericho the opportunity to take the win. HBK hobbled up the ramp, and Jericho watched him with a baffled look on his face.
(Commercial break)
(4) Randy Orton vs. C.M. Punk.
Good back and forth action, then Orton pulled Punk out of the ring and he landed right on his tailbone. YIKES!!! Orton took the opportunity to stomp on Punk, body part by body part. Punk rallied and was giving it right back to Orton.
And then King William came out and pulled the plug, effectively ending the match.
(Commercial break)
Todd Grisham caught up with Orton, who was livid about the lights being turned out during his match.
Time for Carlito's Cabana. (Bagpipe advisory for Roddy Piper's entrance.) Carlito acknowledged the Santino can be annoying, but he objected to the slap last week. Piper called Carlito "Buckwheat" and said he'd beaten Mr. T, Hulk Hogan and cancer. He was not going to take any crap from the "Super Mario Brother." And he didn't want to sit down and talk about it, because he's not Dr. Phil. Classic Piper!
Santino came out and boasted about becoming Intercontinental Champ on his first night in the company; while it had taken Piper 8 years.
Cody Rhodes came out and told Santino and Carlito that this was no way to treat a legend. Cody had brought along his friends, Cryme Tyme. Tonight wasn't about the money-money; it was about the Rowdy Roddy. Piper started dancing a jig. Auditioning for "Dancing With the Stars" maybe?
(Commercial break)
JBL was doing a promo leaning on the door of his limo. Run out of gas? He climbed inside and pointed out the bar and the high speed internet. The car started rolling to the front of the stage. It was such a short ride, he didn't even get a chance to use the high speed internet.
(5) JBL vs. D.H. Smith.
JBL headed to the ring, where D.H. Smith, son of Davey Boy Smith and now known as the Canadian Bulldog, awaited him. (Where have I heard that name before???)
JBL was just looking for a Canadian to beat the stuffing out of, and Smith was handy. JBL won the match, but lit into Smith just to show John Cena what he would be facing at Judgment Day.
(Commercial break)
In the dressing room, King William addressed the ECW roster. He said this was their big opportunity to get a victory on the eve of their 100th episode. Anything less than a victory would be considered a disappointment, he added. They all filed out of the room, except Kane, who stopped to give Regal a cold, hard look.
(6) Mr. Kennedy & Triple H vs. The ECW Roster.
Since ECW is celebrating an anniversary of sorts, most of the roster got a chance to participate while J.R. and Lawler put over the Tuesday night show and its talented wrestlers.
Then Triple H tagged in and knocked them on their butts. All but Kane, that is. He choke slammed Kennedy. Chavo made the winning pin, but Triple H went berserk and started waffling the ECW'ers with chairshots. The lights went out. When they came back on, Triple H was about to get an RKO from Orton.
The show ended with Orton glaring at Triple H who was out cold.
* * *
Okay, last week the lights-out gimmick was unexpected and rather clever. But there can be too much of a good thing. King William was turning out the lights willy nilly tonight, including during the only decent match--Orton vs. Punk.
I think the lights-out gimmick must have been the brainchild of the writers. If you don't have to come up with an ending, you don't have to work as hard. But remember, if the lights go out every time something gets interesting, the viewers are going to reach for the remote and look for a channel with its lights still on.
I'm just saying.