In case you've been sleeping under a rock... or the Rock (?).... You might notice that the new face of Insanity is finally upon us. Congrats are in order to James Guttman for the amazing facelift he performed on the main page this week. The Youtube player and the Twitter feed are the highlights and are sure to be used by all of you fanboys out there at some point. lol.

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The Nexus kicked off the show by coming down to the ring. I think it's total bullshit that they lost last night to Team WWE. They could have made their careers with a dominating win. Wade Barrett grabbed the mic and spoke about their loss until John Cena interupted them. Cena started pointing to all of them telling them they tapped out and insulting them one by one. The highlight of the jokes was when he called Heath Slater the girl from Wendy's and the crowd started to chant "Wendy" at him. He called Darren Young the weakest link. The Raw General Manager buzzed in who said that each member of Nexus would take on a different opponent from their Summerslam match in a one on one match. Any outside interference would be met with appropriate consequences. Wade Barrett said that if any of the members lost their match tonight they would be kicked out of the group. The GM buzzed in one time. He told Nexus that they could pick their WWE foes for each match except for Barrett who will face Chris Jericho next!

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Wade Barrett v.s. Chris Jericho

Jericho was Barrett's Pro on NXT's first season. Chris pretty much lead Wade to his winning of the show in most peoples minds. Jericho played the babyface roll and went for some of his older highflying moves such as the Lionsault to the delight of the crowd. Y2J locked him in the Walls of Jericho at one point but Barrett made it to the ropes to break the hold. Jericho continued the offense but was caught by Barrett when he went for the Codebreaker and Wade turned it into his Firemen's Carry Slam finisher. Nice finish. Wade Barrett is safe from the Nexus elimination. 

Winner: Wade Barrett

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SNL's Jason Sudekis, Justin Long and Charlie Day from the new movie "Going The Distance" were introduced as tonight's guest hosts. They kissed the crowds ass a little and then talked some shit to them. They introduced the Hart Dynasty who came out with Natalya. The Raw GM buzzed in and said they are now combining the unified tag belts and they will be known as the WWE Tag Team Titles again. FINALLY!!!! Bret Hart came out to present them with the new belts that looked really ugly like giant pennies. It's gonna take a while to get used to them. Wade Barrett interupted and told Bret that his opponent tonight from Nexus is Justin Gabriel who told Bret he would experience his 450 Splash tonight.

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Michael Tarver v.s. Daniel Bryan

Mike Cole called Bryan a dweeb. Pot calling kettle black. The crowd started some "Daniel Bryan" chants. Tarver was decimated by Bryan's wicked offense including kicks and high flying moves. Suddenly The Miz and Alex Riley came running out to distract Bryan and it worked like a charm because Tarver rolled him up mid-confusion and stole the pin. After the match Riley, Tarver, and Miz beat down Daniel outside the ring and polished him off with a Skull Crushing Finale on the MITB briefcase. Another nice segment and decent return showcase for Danielson.

Winner: Michael Tarver

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Josh Matthews caught up with The Miz and Alex Riley backstage and asked about his attack on Daniel Bryan. Miz went thru the history and said that he was tired of everyone thinking Bryan was better than him. He stated that the next breakout star was his current NXT season 2 rookie and accomplice Alex Riley who also got a few words in about how he was better than Bryan. Next up we saw inside the locker room of the Nexus when suddenly Darren Young shouted out that he had an announcement to make. He wants to face John Cena tonight. The other guys nodded in approval and stated that they respected him for stepping up like he did.

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Justin Gabriel v.s. Randy Orton

The Raw GM buzzed in before Hart came out and told Justin that Bret Hart would not be his opponent tonight because he didn't like him and never did (Triple H maybe?) He said he has chosen a substitution for him. Randy Orton came out as the replacement much to the delight of the crowd. Gabriel was very aggressive in the match until Orton caught fire and beat him down for a minute. Sheamus came out and Randy turned his attention to him. They began brawling outside the ring and thru the crowd. The ref counted out Orton. But not to worry because Orton snuck back in the ring and planted Gabriel with an RKO while he was celebrating. Randy then grabbed a steel chair and pummeled Sheamus with it on the outside. When Sheamus recovered Randy ran back over to him and landed an wicked RKO. The crowd ate it up!

Winner by Countout: Justin Gabriel

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Skip Sheffield and David Otunga v.s. John Morrison and R-Truth

I thought it was supposed to be singles matches only tonight? I guess they changed their mind at the last minute like usual. I really wish R-Truth would make a new frigging song. This one is beyond stale and the fact that live crowds still like it proves they are morons. Nexus was watching in the back on the monitors. Funny thing is John Morrison is a Tough Enough winner on one season and Skip is a runner up on a different season and look at where their careers are now. Having said that Sheffield proved my theory wrong when he ran over Morrison with a massive Clothesline from Hell for the pin.

Winners: Skip Sheffield and David "A-List" Otunga

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Eve, Gail Kim and Melina (New Diva's Champion) v.s. Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall and Maryse

Jon Lovitz was shown in the crowd stalking Maryse. Something I wonder is why does Maryse accompany Ted Dibiase to the ring for his matches but he never returns the favor? Oh well, not that it matters. This match was nothing special as usual but the in-ring work of these women have improved to the point that I don't feel sick when watching. That's gotta count for something right? Eve went for her Moonsault and Jillian powerbombed her from the top rope position and got the win. Michael Cole made a Boogeyman reference. Wow.

Winners: Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall and Maryse

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Heath Slater v.s. Edge

Before this match went down Slater tried to convince Edge not come out for their match and to give him a break since he patterned himself after him. Edge told him no, called him Wendy again and then was blindsided by Heath when he tried to walk away. The crowd chanted "Wendy Sucks" at Slater which was beyond awesome to me. Slater doesn't bother me as much as he used to. After seeing how bad Lucky Cannon and Titus O'Neal were on NXT season two I began to realize Slater wasn't as horrible as I originally thought he was. Heath was tossed outside the ring and Edge went out after him to size him up for the Spear. Slater side stepped the Spear attempted and rolled in the ring just as the ref counted to 10. Heath Slater wins. Edge didn't like that and still Speared Slater anyway. I can't believe there was 2 count out wins in one night.

Winner by Countout: Heath Slater   

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Backstage we saw Justin Long talking to the Great Khali who I thought was supposed to be injured. Khali got some advice about his girlfriend from the guest hosts. They made some jokes at Khali's expense and told Ranjin Singh to get lost. Khali said he agreed and that she was pretty ugly. What a waste of time. I hate these damn segments.

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Darren Young v.s. John Cena

It's the match we've all been waiting for. The black Cena taking on the white Cena on Raw. Too bad Young has looked weak since Nexus has been formed but I have to credit him for doing the best he could tonight against the grain. Young looked hungry to gain some momentum before the match even started. Cena is rocking some new fruity looking attire but, hey, It's better than this right?

Nexus came out and stood on the ramp to watch Young face off with John. Darren went for a few quick roll ups right out of the gate but only got two counts. This was a very technical encounter at first. The crowd started a dueling "Let's Go Cena", "Let's Go Young" chant which had to have made Darren feel pretty good about himself. Young tossed off his elbow pads but looked like he was entering desperation mode now. Darren put Cena down outside the ring but the ref only counted to 9 before John jumped back in. All of a sudden Cena did his entire offense in one sequence to put Young away with the STFU. Great. Another shitty ending to a WWE show that was otherwise good. Can't Cena put someone over at least once in a while? The Nexus ran down to the ring after the match and let John Cena leave surprisingly. They surrounded Darren Young instead and began to beat him down with their finishers to end the show.

Winner: John Cena

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Thanks for joining me this week folks. I'll catch you next Monday Night on the all new Insanity. Until then, Stay Classy.