RDLee's WWE Monday Night Raw Results

We kicked off the 900th episode with WWE Hall of Famer, Bret "The Hitman" Hart coming down to the ring. Bret grabbed the mic and literally yelled at the crowd about the 17 year history of Monday Night Raw. I love Bret but he needs to relax a little these days. He seems so uneasy. Bret said that Raw has the most televised shows in primetime cable television history. He said that the only other wrestler who is still around that was on the debut of Raw with him is the Undertaker.

Kane's pyro hit and he came out. Kane ran down the Undertaker and address his state of weakness steaming from the vegetative state he put him him. He said the last time he was truly the Undertaker was when he retired Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 26. Kane said that the only thing he ever wanted to do in his career was to break out of Undertaker's shadow. He said he needed to take out an icon of his own just like Taker did with HBK. Kane attacked Bret and went for the chokeslam but the Hart Dynasty hit the ring and saved him. Kane tossed them out and went for another chokeslam on Bret but the lights went out and Undertaker was in the ring. Kane bailed as the General Manager buzzed in and said that tonight's main event will be Bret "The Hitman" Hart v.s. The Undertaker! Holy shintos!!! Too bad it will probably be changed at the last minute...

Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty v.s. The Miz & Alex Riley v.s. Kaval and Daniel Bryan

The internet fanbase just shit their pants. Bryan and Kaval is a dream team. 3 men are in at all times but can tag out whenever. The Miz has a new t-shirt that is pretty much a name tag that says "I'm Awesome". This match was very fast paced and fun. Kaval, Riley and Mr. Perfect's son are the final three rookies in the NXT season 2. The finale is tomorrow night on Syfy and I'm sure our very own James Guttman will have the final NXT Insanity for this season. Kaval hit the Warrior's Way on McGillicutty but the Miz snuck in and nailed the Skull Crushing Finale to pick up the win for his team. Alex Riley tried to attack Bryan from behind after the match but he caught him and kicked him off the apron which allowed the Miz to sneak back in again and nail Bryan with the MITB briefcase. The Bryan/Miz saga continues...

Winners: The Miz and Alex Riley

LayCool v.s. Melina and Eve Torres

I think LayCool's way of carrying the WWE Women's title in two pieces is clever. They have good chemistry regardless of what fans of the Beautiful People think. All the hype for this match was a joke because Melina rolled up Layla in no time at all. Eve never even tagged in. LayCool got on the mic after the match and challenged Melina to a title unification match at Night of Champions. Melina said she accepted only under one condition, if it's a lumberjill match. The entire diva roster came out on the ramp to smile and look stupid. Oh brother, I doubt anyone is impressed.

Winners: Melina and Eve Torres

John Morrison and R-Truth v.s. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntrye

This is a Raw v.s. Smackdown bout. Very random. This match never really happened because they brawled outside the ring with Truth and Morrison gaining the upperhand. I don't know what to say about this except I wonder if it's the start of a rivalry between the brands building towards Survivor Series?

No Contest

Bret "The Hitman" Hart v.s. The Undertaker

I thought this was going to be the main event? Eh, Still no ring attire for Bret either but he did have on some kneepads and wrist tape which could mean they might do a little bit. The matches these two have had in the past are legendary. I can still recall the match they had at Summerslam 97 where Hart won the WWF title after HBK (who was the ref) accidently nailed Taker with a chair instead of Bret. The Nexus music hit before the match started and Wade Barrett came out to tell them the match would not happen. He said Nexus was the future and that he would do something unforgettable. Barrett hit the ring and got tossed out by Taker. The lights went out and Takers bell rung. Kane was standing there when the lights came back on and Bret was missing. Taker got the upperhand and the lights went out again. When they came back on again Kane was gone. The rest of the Nexus came out and surrounded the ring. They jumped in and began to fight but Undertaker held them off. The lights went out AGAIN and when they came on this time Wade Barrett had Undertaker on his shoulders and hit his finisher. Kane was seen on the ramp laughing. Justin Gabriel hit the 450 degree splash to end the assault. Taker tried to get up but couldn't. This was a fun and surprising segment.

No Contest

Jack Swagger v.s. Evan Bourne

I don't like Swagger anymore. When he talks it makes me feel ashamed to be a fan. He talks like a 10 year old and it's quite sad. In ring wise Jack is one of the brightest young talents in the business. The match was in progress when suddenly Alberto Del Rio's music hit and he drove out to his own personal ring announcement and pyro. This guys is gonna be a huge deal over on Smackdown according to his WWE.com bio. Evan Bourne missed his Shooting Star Press and Swagger quickly locked in the Ankle Lock to get the submission win. Del Rio said that he is the reason Rey Mysterio couldn't be here tonight. He ran down Rey a little more, grabben a chair and jumped in the ring to recreate what he did to Rey on poor little Evan Bourne. He locked in the Arm Bar finisher for a few seconds and kicked him out of the ring. He followed Bourne outside and put his arm in a chair. Mark Henry ran out from the locker room to save Evan from being injured. Del Rio took off up the ramp. I am a Alberto Del Rio fan at this point. He has serious potential.

Winner: Jack Swagger

C.M. Punk came out with the Straight Edge Society minus Serena, who was released last week for supposedly partying too much. Punk ran down the Rock and said he was better than him for not making crappy movies like the Tooth Fairy. He said that for the past 900 episodes they have showcased no values. He dropped a Katie Vick mention and said that watching it would drive someone to start drinking but then he could save them. He then recapped some of Raw's greatest moments including Triple H's home invasion on Randy Orton, Edge getting tossed in the water by John Cena, the DX invasion on WCW and finally the Stone Cold beer bath on the Corporation. The crowd chanted for Stone Cold.

AUSTIN'S MUSIC HIT!

But it was only a joke because he never came out. Punk laughed about his prank. Punk said he was happy he disappointed the crowd because they deserved it for cheering on a drunk. He said he would show one more clip which was Brock Lesnar's superplex on the Big Show that destroyed the ring. Sadly enough the Big Show's music hit and he came out dressed sharply. He talked about some of his greatest moments on Smackdown like when he ate the burrito that made him shit from Eddie Guerrero. He mentioned his Sumo match and kissing Vickie Guerrero too. Big Show did a impression of Hulk Hogan to the S.E.S. but Punk told him he wasn't funny and no one likes him. They started brawling with Big Show standing tall after tossing them out of the ring. What a pointless segment for a monumental show such as this. This was Smackdown filler at best. I don't see why people are saying it was so good.

Josh Matthews was set to interview Sheamus but the Celtic Warrior grabbed the mic from him and ran down Triple H instead. Matthews stood there looking lame for a minute before walking to the back with his head down. Sheamus kept bitching about his unfair treatment until Edge came out and spoke about his wacky history on Raw and also mentioned his winning of 29 championships, the King of the Ring, and the Royal Rumble. He finished by saying he would win the 6 pack challenge next to add to his already stacked resume at the Night of Champions.

Edge, Sheamus, Chris Jericho, John Cena and Randy Orton v.s. The Nexus

Tarver and Jericho started off. Well, sort of. Jericho left the ring and walked away to be counted out for some reason. Jericho is eliminated. Edge jumped in but pushed the ref down getting himself eliminated by DQ. He, too, walked out leaving the Raw team down 5 to 3. John Cena jumped in and began beating on Tarver before tagging out to Sheamus who actually stayed and fought with the Raw guys. Heath Slater actually pinned Sheamus with a inverted neckbreaker type move. John Cena jumped in and hit the Attitude Adjustment on Slater to eliminate him. David Otunga was eliminated next by Cena from his STFU. Justin Gabriel nailed the 450 Splash on Cena before he could get up eliminating Cena. Randy Orton ran in and nailed an RKO on Gabriel to eliminate him. He hit Tarver with a lightning quick RKO too and eliminated him as well. Wade Barrett was the last one in and caught Orton when he turned around with his Fireman's Carry slam to get the pin and win the match clean for his team. Good main event! I'm glad Nexus finally won a match decisively.

Winners: The Nexus

That's all for me this week. Thanks for reading and Stay Classy!