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No JG's Raw Insanity this week, but never fear--check out JG's jumbo-sized shoot interview with jumbo-sized superstar, Nelson "Big Daddy V" Frazier. For the first time since his WWE departure, the Man on a Mission speaks out and the only place to hear it is ClubWWI.com .

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Welcome to WWI's ongoing coverage of Monday Night Raw from St. Louis, Missouri. It's not live, but everybody deserves a holiday, especially the hardworking Raw superstars.

The show started with a memorial to the late Killer Kowalski.

Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show as Randy Orton, ace motorcyclist, made his way to the ring. When he referred to his injury, the audience cheered. But he had something to get off his chest (other than a tattoo). He said a show is only as good as its champions and Raw is a joke. Beth Phoenix is no better than a love-sick teenager, he said. Santino is a weak Inter Continental Champion. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase the Younger are worthless, not priceless. Of course, it wasn't long before he got to CM Punk, whose name drew a huge cheer from the crowd. Orton said he'd like to challenge Punk tonight, but he was not medically cleared. Blah blah, blah.

CM Punk came out to answer Orton's allegations, and called him pathetic and jealous. Well, if the shoe fits…

Okay, Randy. Now go away.

No sooner was Randy on his was up the ramp than JBL headed out. More hot air. He was going to capture the title at Sunday's Ham & Egg Scramble. 

Kane came out to assure everyone that "little Rey Rey" currently resided in hell and would not be participating in the Scramble match Sunday.

Batista, newly registered to vote, came out and speared everybody who had been yapping in the ring.

A battle royal featuring all the Scrabble…err…Scramble participants will be coming up later in the show.

MSNBC's Keith Olberman appeared on the screen. Does that mean he's in the Scramble, too. Nope, he just had an update on Hurricane Gustav.

(Commercial break)

John Cena's music started and out came a medical miracle. But it wasn't really Cena. It was Charlie Haas playing dress-up. The Haas is here "and you can't see me," he said. Okay, if you say so.

Kofi, unable to see Haas, won the match.

(Commercial break)

Cody and Teddy confronted Orton backstage about his comment that they were worthless. Orton told them to "grow a set."

Tiffany and Teddy Long from ECW were having a nice conversation with General Manager Mike Adamle. That ended abruptly when Kane stormed into Adamle's office and assured the GM that Rey Rey would not be at tonight's show.

(Commercial break)

Everybody ganged up on Henry, but didn't have much success dumping him over the top rope. In fact, he made sure all the others went over the top rope, which made him the winner.

There is not much difference between a battle royal and a championship scrambler match. We will essentially be seeing two of Sunday night's matches for free on TV tonight. You know the old saying--Why buy the cow,? etc., etc.

(Commercial break)

Chris Jericho and his legal counsel, Lance Cade, were reviewing Jericho's contract for Sunday night which will be signed later.

The purpose of this match was for Noble to prove himself to his lady love, Leyla.

Noble rolled up Regal for a surprise pin, which surprisingly, did impress Leyla.

Kelly Kelly and Mickie Mickie were warming up backstage.

(Commercial break)

Jillian was in the ring with more of her tiresome singing.

Before they got started, the Bethazon had words for Randy Orton, who'd called her a love-sick teenager earlier in the show.

The returning Candice Michelle's music hit. She'd had a make-over while she was gone and looked very nice.

Obviously, there is a pattern tonight. Schmozzes.

Candice pinned the Bethazon for revenge and very nearly lost her barely-there britches in the process. As it was, her britches would have done a plumber proud.  Who in the world okayed her new ring wear? It was "family-friendly" only if your family is in the skin business.

There was a lengthy recap of the bad blood between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.

(Commercial break)

Santino had words for Orton, too, in some language, not necessarily Italian.  Santino had some cockamamie Honk-a-Meter gimmick that would prove him to be the greatest IC Champ of all time, surpassing even the Honky-Tonk Man. He was aiming for 64 honks.

I'm rooting for D-Lo. Shining Wizard by D-Lo, but he missed the frog splash and the insufferable Santino chalked up another toot on his Honk-a-Meter.

HBK was consulting his lawyer about the contract he was about to sign.

(Commercial break)

The Miz was out AGAIN. Once was plenty. Really.

This was a non match. Cryme & Tyme were assaulted by Rhodes and DiBiase on their way to the ring. They wanted their tag titles back. And got them.

(Commercial break)

Backstage, Cody and Teddy showed Orton the title belts they'd retrieved. They wanted his approval.

St. Louis Rams players were shown in the front row of the audience.

Live from the Republican Convention in Minneapolis, Josh Matthews asked Mickie James (who'd just wrestled in St. Louis through the magic of television) and Mr. Kennedy their thoughts on the importance of voting.

Backstage, Todd Grisham timidly asked Batista his game plan for tonight's battle royal. The Animal said his game plan was to destroy everyone. Simple enough.

(Commercial break)

Randy Orton had come to ringside to glare at CM Punk.

Punk eliminated Batista and JBL. Only Kane was left in the ring, thus winning it.

At ringside, Punk and Orton engaged in a staredown, then Punk tossed a glass of water in Orton's face.

Then who should appear but Rey Mysterio. (Didn't see that coming, did ya? *heavy sarcasm*)  Rey beat the stuffing out of Kane, concluding with a 619.

(Commercial break)

The ring was decorated with red carpeting, a table, two chairs, and an assortment of pens. But if theirs is to be an unsanctioned match, why do they need to sign a contract? No matter. Not much else has made sense tonight anyway.

Lawler explained the necessity of the contract, which would absolve WWE from any responsibility for what might happen.

HBK and Jericho sat facing each other at the table. They were warned that if there was any physicality during the signing, the match would be called off.

Jericho signed on the dotted line, then Michaels did the same.

Lawler continued talking, and Jericho shut him up, He had a question about why HBK wanted security in the ring. HBK agreed they weren't needed and Jericho dismissed the security, the lawyers and Lawler.

Jericho again threatened to end HBK's career. And he wouldn't say he was sorry.  Neener neener.

As for turning the other cheek, HBK said he would instead look evil in the eye and spit in its face. And he wouldn't apologize either.

They continued staring at each other, then HBK turned and unexpectedly began to pound on his former protégé, Lance Cade.  

The End. 

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Orton sucked the air out of this show right from the beginning. His hadn't been missed at my house. In addition, this show seemed to be an exercise in throwing stuff at the wall and hoping something would stick. It certainly didn't make me want to order Sunday's Unforgiven pay-per-view. Too many multiple person matches. The scenery-chewing between Jericho and HBK that ended the show was probably the high point of the show.