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Rickard's Real-Time Raw Report
By "Realtime" Mike Rickard II
Hey now! It's "Realtime" Mike Rickard here. Sir James Guttman is busy attending to Uncle Ralph and his latest "Imperial entanglements". Join me as I recap the show from start to finish (and if you can't stand me, there's the always wonderful Miss Mallory Mahling delivering the Monday Night RAW goods!).
RAW is coming to you live from Seattle, Washington. Y2J's music plays and the champion enters the arena, sporting big bruise around his kisser (the result of his Ladder Match last night against "The Heartbreak" Shawn Michaels). Jericho informs the fans that Mike Adamle is in a high profile meeting with Shane and Stepanie McMahon. As a result, he (Y2J) will be running the show. Jericho tells the fans that although he beat Michaels last night, Michaels permanently disfigured him. Jericho opens his mouth and reveals one of his front teeth has been broken in half. Jericho tells the fans he did what he said he'd do-he beat Michaels! Not only that but he beat him, brutalized him, and defeated him in a match Michaels supposedly revolutionized. As for Michaels, he's done with him. No more matches between Y2J and HBK. However, Michaels has a match against Lance Cade and it will be anything goes,no disqualification. Jericho tells the fans he is the true world champion and the best performer in the world and the business TODAY! Just then, Dave Batista's music plays and "The Animal" makes his way towards the ring. Batista invites Jericho to pick a number. Jericho wonders what he's talking about so Batista explains-pick how many days before you defend your world title. Jericho warns the new #1 contender to be careful what he wishes for because he might get it. Jericho tells Batista he just had a tremendous match but he'll stay find a way to beat him. Batista may be an animal but so is Jericho. Jericho tells Batista he'll bite and claw and do whatever is necessary to win. Jericho tells Batista he's going to make the name Batista synonymous with failure then orders Batista out of the ring. Batista tells Jericho, like it or not, 1) he's going to defend the title and 2) BAM! Batista hits a spinebuster on Jericho. RAW announcers Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler announce that Matt Hardy teams with Rey Mysterio tonight against Kane and "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry. VIDEO: Recap of Batista delivering an impromptu spinebuster to Chris Jericho. Jericho announces that while he can't strip Batista of his #1 contendership, he can make him defend it. As a result, it's JBL vs. Batista for the #1 contendership. And that's not all, there's a special referee- Y2J! Joining Cole and Lawler at ringside is William Regal and Layla. Before the match, Santino tells the fans he's been criticized for being too "ethnic". As a result, he's making an effort to become more American. Thus he's adopted a favorite NBA Team- the Oklahoma City Thunder . Santino reveals a Thunder t-shirt and tells "Mickie Noble" Glamarella is going to rain down on them. 1. Mixed Tag Team Match: Jamie Noble & Mickie James vs. Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella & Woman's Champion Beth Phoenix: Gobehind waistlock by Phoenix on James. Mickie elbows Phoenix then somersaults out of the way. Tag to Marella and a tag to Noble. Noble rams Santino's head into the turnbuckle and goes to work with punches and kicks. Noble hits a Clothesline and a forearm followed by a suplex. Noblie applies an armbar submission but Phoenix breaks things up. Phoenix distracts Noble allowing Santino to get a roll-up from behind. 1-2-3 and it's all over. WINNER: Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella (by pinfall). After the match, Noble goes out after William Regal. The referee separates the two and keeps Regal at bay while Noble promises revenge. BACKSTAGE: Todd Grisham interviews "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels about his match tonight against Lance Cade. Michaels asks Grisham "What do you want me to do?" Does Grisham want him to beg Jericho to give him the night off. Michaels is sore from head to toe but he's going to wrestle. Michaels tells Grisham Jericho wants Cade to do his dirty work and get rid of him (Michaels) but he's still got gas left in the tank. Michael Cole thanks the fans for watching No Mercy and "The King" thanks Metallica for their official No Mercy song All Night Long. 2. Kofi Kingston (w. CM Punk) vs. "Priceless" Ted DiBiase (w. Manu & Cody Rhodes): CM Punk joins Kofi Kingston at ringside to try and kill the outside interference factor. Lockup with Kofi whipping DiBiase into the ropes and hitting a dropkick. Kofi whips DiBiase into the corner and charges but DiBiase ducks out of the way. DiBiase stomps away at Kofi before going to the second rope. DiBiase jumps off, landing both feet on Kofi. Cover on Kofi for a two count. As Manu and Rhodes watch from outside, DiBiase applies a bodyscissors to Kofi. Kofi elbows his way out and peppers DiBiase with a series of punches. Double chops send DiBiase down as Kofi follows up with a dropkick. Kofi lands an axe kick on DiBiase then hits a flying bodypress off the top rope. Manu tries to interfere but Kofi knocks him out of the ring. When Rhodes gets on the mat apron, CM Punk knocks him off but Kofi takes his eye off of DiBiase momentarily. That's all DiBiase needs and he hits a Cobra Clutch Legsweep. That's it as DiBiase covers Kofi for the pin! WINNER: Ted DiBiase (by pinfall). After the match, CM Punk checks on Kofi Kingston as "Priceless" gloat from ringside. VIDEO: Hype video for the 8-Man Tag Match tomorrow on ECW between Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, The Miz, and John Morrison and the team of CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Ricky Ortiz, and Evan Bourne. BACKSTAGE: Interim RAW General Manager Chris Jericho tells Randy Orton that they don't like each other but they can agree that Batista as #1 contender is a bad idea. Orton asks Jericho what he wants and Jericho tells him he's going to "put him to work". Michael Cole informs the fans that John Cena's neck surgery was a success, leading to a hype video. VIDEO: Video highlights from SummerSlam's Cena vs. Batista match. Commentary by Batista and the referee on what happened to Cena. Cena's surgeon Dr. Joseph Maroon (no relation to Maroon 5) discusses Cena's surgery and his expected return to the ring. BACKSTAGE: Kane and Mark Henry (w. manager Tony Atlas) are walking towards the ring when they're greeted by Dolph Ziggler. No one wants to shake Dolph Ziggler's hand. VIDEO: Hype video for the No Mercy PPV replay. VIDEO: Highlights of Kane's incredible beatdown on Rey Mysterio two weeks ago on RAW. 3. Rey Mysterio & ECW World Champion Matt Hardy vs. Kane & "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry (w. Tony Atlas): Kane fires off punches and kicks but Kane shrugs them off as if he's being attacked by a five year old. Quick tag to Matt as Matt and Rey double team Kane briefly. Unfortunately, things go south for Matt when he's mano y mano against Kane. Kane beats Mat down before tagging in Henry. Henry whips Hardy into the corner and charges but there's nobody home. Tag to Rey and Matt sets Henry up so Rey can deliver the Poetry in Motion. Matt clips Henry's knee, knocking the big man down. Rey and Hardy turn their attention to Kane, dropkicking him out of the ring (shades of the Rock and Roll Express!). After the commercial break, Kane is seen applying a side headlock to Matt Hardy. Matt whips Kane into the ropes but Kane floors him with a shoulderblock. Tag to Henry who batters Hardy in the corner. Henry picks Hardy up for a slam but Hardy wiggles loose and clips Henry in the knee again. Matt drops some forearm smashes to Henry's back and tags in Rey. Rey hits a springboard kick to Henry. Series of kicks on Henry followed by a cover for about a one count. Rey bounces off the ropes and Kane cheap shots him. Henry throws Rey out of the ring before regrouping. Henry follows Rey out of the ring and rolls him in. Henry drags Rey over to his corner and tags in The Big Red Machine. Kane headbutts Rey down before ramming his head into the turnbuckle. Kane kicks away at a fallen Rey in the corner. Rey is cowering in the corner as Kane continues the kicks. Kane punches Rey and tags in Henry. Henry delivers a brutal headbutt to Rey as Kane holds Rey. It's "Let's Beat Rey" night as Henry stands on Rey, pressing his weight onto him. Cover on Rey but Rey somehow kicks out. Tag to Kane who stops Rey from making the tag. Cover on Rey for a near fall. Kane grabs Rey and whips him into the ropes. Rey catches Kane off the ropes but Kane quickly knocks him down with a punch. Kane goes to the top rope and dives off but there's nobody home. Flying headscissors by Rey sends Kane headfirst into the corner. Tag to Matt who flies off the second rope onto Kane. Side effect on Kane as Matt takes the fight to his former rival for Lita. Henry dives at Hardy but Matt slips out of the way and Henry goes flying out of the ring. Hardy hits a drop toehold on Kane, setting him up for the 6-1-9 by Rey. Rey goes out after Henry-BIG MISTAKE as Henry grabs him and throws him into the corner. Unfortunately Matt is on the rope attempting an aerial move. Rey knocks Hardy off the ropes. Kane capitalizes and hits a chokeslam on Hardy. It's all over! WINNERS: Kane & "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry (by pinfall). BACKSTAGE: Shawn Michaels is seen getting ready for his no disqualification match against Lance Cade. VIDEO: WWE 24/7 Highlight- Pete Rose getting tombstoned by Kane. VIDEO: Highlights of Lance Cade's unexpected victory over Shawn Michaels two weeks ago on RAW. 4. Anything Goes Match: "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs. Lance Cade: The two exchange blows before Cade throws Michaels out of the ring. Cade unloads on Michaels with a series of punches. With Michaels down, Cade finds a table and sets it up outside the ring. Cade slams Michaels through the table, adding to his troubles. Cade rolls Michaels into the ring and grabs a steel chair (remember, it's no disqualification). Cade goes to blast Michaels with the chair but Michaels digs down deep and stops him. Michaels grabs the chair and cracks it over Cade's head. Michaels snaps and unloads with chair shot after chair shot on Cade's body. Michaels isn't missing a body part is Cade is beat mercilessly with the steel chair. Michaels finally stops and covers Cade. WINNER: Shawn Michaels (by pinfall). After the match, Michaels stares at Cade before losing his cool again. Michaels picks up the chair and unloads once again on Cade as the referee tries to calm HBK down. VIDEO: Hype video for the new Hell in a Cell DVD. Michael Cole informs the fans that SmackDown! was the #1 show on MyNetwork TV. Cole announces Big Show vs. Triple H for the WWE Championship this Friday on SmackDown! Jerry "The King" Lawler announces a match for the Cyber Sunday PPV. It's Santino Marella vs one of the following: 1. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper 2. Goldust 3. The Honky Tonk Man The Great Khali w. Ranjin Singh: Singh translates for Khali as usual, mentioning a recent interview with Johnny Knoxville that went wrong. VIDEO: Highlights of Johnny Knoxville insulting the Great Khali during an interview, asking Khali if his tallywhacker matched his height. Khali nearly came to blows with Knoxville after being insulted. After the video, Khali challenges Knoxville to come to RAW next week. Khali tells the fans (through his translator) that he has a sense of humor and begins hosting the "KissCam". The KissCam centers in on Lillian Garcia and the Great Khali lays a big kiss on Lillian. After the kiss, Lillian looks like she's in shock (or is it love?). Jillian is in the ring. She's singing and as usual, it's really bad. Miz and Morrison are at ringside providing color commentary. Cryme Tyme shows up and invite themselves over as well. The two teams exchange insults as the action takes place in the ring. 5. Jillian Hall vs. Kelly Kelly: The two Divas exchange blows until Kelly Jelly is knocked outside of the ring. Hall stands on Kelly as Cryme Tyme and Miz/Morrison continue arguing. Backbreaker on Kelly by Jillian. Jillian turns it into a bow and arrow but Kelly kicks her way out. Eye rake by Jillian. Kelly and Jillian fight in the corner with Jillian ramming Kelly's head into the turnbuckle. Irish whip on Kelly as Jillian follows in with a shoulderbutt. Kelly tries some punches but Jillian knocks her down. Jillian begins showboating as she slams Kelly's head into the mat. Jillian tries a side suplex but Kelly counters and lands a Sunset Flip out of nowhere, pinning Jillian. WINNER: Kelly Kelly (by pinfall). After the match, Cryme Tyme join Kelly in the ring and congratulate her. BACKSTAGE: Batista warms up for his match against JBL while some jabroni wearing a white hard hat walks behind him. VIDEO: Hype video for the amazing healing power of John Cena. Put your hand on the TV and feel the healing power. VIDEO: Highlight of tonight's confrontation between Chris Jericho and Batista, leading to tonight's main event. 6. #1 Contender's Match: Batista vs. JBL (Special Guest Referee Chris Jericho. Special Guest Timekeeper William Regal. Special Guest Commentator Randy Orton): With the deck stacked against him, Batista wastes no time going after JBL, firing off punches and kicks. Batista hits a kneebreaker then applies the Figure Four Leglock on JBL, center of the ring. Referee Chris Jericho checks for a submission as JBL tries to reach the ropes. Inexplicably, Jericho orders a break on the hold. Kick to the gut by JBL followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Cover on Batista as Jericho makes a quick count. Batista still manages to kick out though. JBL launches a series of punches at Batista, battering him in the corner then clotheslining "The Animal". Cover on Batista as Jericho makes a regular count. JBL goes for a vertical suplex but Batista reverses. Batista covers JBL but Jericho refuses to count the pin. Jericho bails out of the ring and Batista begins jawing with him. With Batista distracted, JBL hits an eyepoke on Batista and knocks him through the ropes. JBL follows Batista outside the ring but Jericho prevents him from brawling outside with Batista. While Jericho admonishes JBL, William Regal gets some cheap shots in on Batista. JBL and Batista get back in the ring with JBL applying a full nelson. Batista escapes but JBL applies a sleeperhold. Batista gets out and launches a counterattack. Batista goes after JBL but Jericho trips him. William Regal runs in only to get knocked down by Batista. When Jericho tries to interfere, Batista spears him. Mike Adamle appears on the entrance ramp and waves a referee in as Batista covers JBL. JBL kicks out but Batista isn't finished. Batista powerbombs JBL, covering him for the win. WINNER: Batista (by pinfall) and still #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship! Mike Adamle tells the fans that during his meeting with Shane and Stephanie, he was urged to shake things up. As a result, he's decided to sign Chris Jericho vs. Batista for the Cyber Sunday PPV-and the fans will select the special referee. The fans can choose from: 1. Randy Orton 2. Shawn Michaels 3. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
