Aaron Wood's R(eal Time)AW Coverage: COME ON DOWN!

Hey there, people! It's Labour Day in America (and Canada) tonight, so that's probably why I'm here with you taking in tonight's RAW, in Chi-Town, and tonight's guest host is none other than the legendary former "The Price Is Right" host, Bob Barker!

This leaves a number of questions...
1: Will the WWE manage to give him a long, thin mic instead of the usual one?
2: Will we have Chavo vs. Hornswaggle Part 5485673435816521 in some sort of wacky Price Is Right-based gimmick match?
3: Who will be closest without going over?
4: Who will be the one to tell us to spay or neuter our pets? Barker? Michael Cole, as the last line of the show? Jerry Lawler in some sort of backwards reference during the Divas match, since it would be the one match where you wouldn't want your balls cut off? Will it be DX, since they're the comedy japesters?

One question we don't have to ask though is what Mr. Barker has been doing since he left the show in 2007. This documentary tells us all...

Anyway, I'll be updating during every break, so keep checking back and enjoy the evening!

We start this week's RAW with HOWARD FINKEL! He introduces Bob Barker (I'm guessing there was a video about Labour Day as the show kicked in mid-sentence this side of the pond.) And Bob has the stick mic! And he wishes he had a fridge for everyone of us. But the dude just gets a huge ovation. That said, he is a legend. He says we're gonna party tonight. He may not have a fridge for us, but there must be a massive supply of Jeritol. He thanks the crowd again, saying they kept him in work for 50 years and if not for us, he'd have had to get a job. And tonight, he had a pricing game to play, and they needed contestants. Bob sent to THE FINK~!

SANTINO MARELLA...COME ON DOWN!

JILLIAN HALL...COME ON DOWN!

IRS...COME ON DOWN!

CHRIS JERICHO...COME ON DOWN! Jericho???

As it goes, Jericho doesn't show up through the crowd. He eventually comes out, dressed to wrestle, but still with a big name tag on his pec. And he isn't happy. And they're bidding the Best Of Smackdown 10th Anniversary DVD...which I already have. Next week for you Americans though... Oddly enough, the "contestants" are have their backs to the audience.

You know how this goes. Santino goes first and wants to buy a vowel. Bobby chews him out for getting it wrong. He eventually bids $1465 dollars. FOR A DVD?!?!?!

Jillian wants to say she was a fan and had a song for us for this night. Barker's face is, pun intended, PRICELESS! He tells her to sing her bid. She goes $75.

IRS wondered if the bid included taxes. Barker wasn't interested, but IRS pushed the issue, but said $50 inc. tax.

It was now Jericho's turn. He left the podium, and stared a hole in Bob Barker. Bob said his mother wouldn't be proud. When Jericho got to talking, Bob had to make a note that Jericho made noise. Jericho told him to watch his mouth. He wanted to explain something. No-one called him Chris. Barker needed to show respect and call him Mr. Jericho. Bob needed to pander to him since he was the best in the world. He was ONE half...Bob heard the number, so Jericho's bid was $1!

The retail price is $18.90, so Jericho won! He won the DVD and Jericho now had another chance to win a prize trip to Hawaii. Cue the Bella Twins. The ECW Bella Twins! THE FINK~! talked about the prize, and damn, the twins were HOTTTTTT~!~!~! And all Jericho had to do was win his match against...MVP!

CHRIS JERICHO vs. MVP
Lillian Garcia took over announcing, so he hasn't left yet, as she announced MVP into the ring. Collar and elbow see MVP maul Jericho down, but Jericho scrambles and gets a hammerlock. MVP gets out and gets a chinlock on. Jericho gets out with the side headlock. MVP pushes off and Jericho scores the shoulder block but MVP comes right back with a clothesline. MVP works Jericho in the corner, but Jericho came back with a shot. Drop toehold by MVP is followed by a low dropkick. MVP is elevated to the apron, but Jericho misses the double dropkick in the corner as we take a break...

We come back with Jericho in control and MVP in a Cobra Clutch of sorts. And apparently this "The Price Is RAW" match won't be the only one of the night. Not entirely surprised. MVP gets dumped from the ring, and Jericho celebrates before taking a shot on the outside. Back in the ring Jericho insults MVP with kicks and slaps before he's whipped hard into the corner. He goes for a cover with his feet on the ropes, but the ref didn't count anyway since his shoulders weren't down. Jericho goes for a slam, but MVP counters with a cradle for 2. A club to the back of the head scors a 2 count for Jericho. Jericho locked in a chinlock as the crowd got behind MVP. MVP got a roll up for a 2 count. Jericho missed the enziguri and MVP began to build momentum. MVP blocked a corner charge and went up to the middle rope. He jumped over Jericho, who moved, but scored with a clothesline for a 2 count.

Jericho telegraphed a backdrop and hit the bulldog. Lionsault was avoided and MVP hit the facebuster off the knee. BALLIN'~! elbow was countered by Jericho, who locked in the Walls Of Jericho. However, Jericho rolled back and cradled Jericho for a close 2 count. MVP hit a big boot for another close 2 count. Playmaker is countered with a whip into the corner. MVP avoided the Codebreaker though and got a jacknife pin for the win!

WINNER: MVP

Jericho was irate at ringside, slamming the announce desk.

We cut to Cole & Lawler at ringside (with a very tall cameraman), as they shot it back to last week and how the AWESOME main event segment came about. They didn't show the RKO to Dusty, but talked about it as they announced it would be Cena vs. Cody Rhodes later tonight. Hoo boy, our forums are going to be estatic with that one. Me? I'm interested.

There's Chicago! Outside! And we're sonspored by Oil, Popeye and a game. We cut backstage with Bob Barker & Kelly Kelly, as she asks him about his charity which gets the proceeds from his book sales. DX wonder in and are complete fanboys. HBK wonders about Legacy getting spayed and neutered. Barker says they'll get their chance on Sunday, but hey, let's spin the big wheel. They push the button and a RAW Superstar will appear, and since there's 2 of them, they will get 2 spins. First up is HBK who gets Chris Masters. HHH rags on Chris's hair plugs. HHH makes his go, and he scores Randy Orton! So, it's DX vs. Chris Masters & Randy Orton it seems!

Chavo is in the ring... Please not the Laprachaun...Please not the Laprachaun...Please not the Laprachaun...

Chavo is told by Bob Barker that he could win a brand new Corvette convertible. He's facing Hornswaggle and losing again, isn't he?

CHAVO GUERRERO vs. EVAN BOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!!!
That said, Horny will interfere... Collar and elbow ends up in the corner, and Chavo fires back with a clothesline to take control. European uppercut by Chavo after some trash talking. He sets Broune up in the corner and punts him in the stomach for a 2 count. Chavito puts Evan in an Abdominal Stretch. Bourne counters a slam attempt with a bodypress for a 2 count. Chavo takes control again though, until Evan fires in kicks to the leg. Chavo teases a powerbomb, but Evan gets a headscissors in. Evan ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard kick to the back out of the corner. Chavo gets his foot up in the corner and looks for a DDT, but Bourne blocks and kicks him in the head. Chavo looked for a hurricanrana, but Chavo ducks under and Evan crashes and burns. However, Chavo only scores a 2 count. Chavo Eddie's up and hits the Three Amigos. Chavo headed up top, but Hornswaggle got in the ring with a SuperSoaker and sprayed Guerrero. Chavo punched the midget, but from behind, Bourne rolled Chavo up for the win.

WINNER: EVAN BOURNE

Chavo was irate in the ring as the faces hugged on the outside. Cole & lawler talked about this Sunday's PPV, thanking Lynard Skynard for staying alive long enough to give the show it's theme.

Cena walks the halls as he's up next...

We come back to see some of the Chicago White Sox including that dude who TNA are in love with. Between that and Curtis Granderson posing with John Cena, there's a humourous irony there.

JOHN CENA vs. CODY RHODES
Cody came out first as they confirmed the "Submissions Count Anywhere" match. Cody got on the microphone and he said he was a member of Legacy. It might not mean that he agrees with what Orton did last week, but what was eluding the people was that his daddy didn't make him a main eventer. Randy Orton did. Cody said he could say Dusty was a crappy father, but he was a great one, but it was the choice between family or career, eluding that he chose career, saying that when he beat DX on Sunday, it would vindicate his choice. Indeed, as a favour to Orton, he'd make Cena tap out right now. Dusty said there's nothing he wouldn't do for his son, but there's nothing he (Cody) wouldn't do for his career...

Cena is out next as we get an awesome shot form the rafters as AJ SomethingthatresemblesPolish does the "You Can't See Me" sign to the camera. Cena looks to finish early, but Rhodes counters, but is dropped front first, forcing Cody to take a powder as we take a break.

We're back to a picture of the stage, to show what's going on tonight as Cena hit a suplex for a 2 count. Cena hit the bulldog for a near fall. Rhodes ties himself up in the ropes to create some seperation. Cody gets hit with a backdrop, which again sends Rhodes out, but this time, Cena gives chase and gets caught with a drop toehold onto the announce desk. Back in the ring, Rhodes began to go to work on Cena. However, Cena fires back with a belly to belly suplex. Rhodes blocks a corner charge though and he hits a clothesline for a 2 count. Cody whips Cena into the corner, but Cena blocks. However, Cody ducks a swing and rolls Cena up and works the leg. Cena sets up for the STF, but Rhodes kicked Cena off and hit a Side Russian for a 2 count. Short clothesline for Rhodes scores him a 1 count. Rhodes trapped an arm with his leg and put on a chinlock. Cena powered his way out of the hold though and gave Cody a right hand. Cena's corner charge was avoided though and Rhodes put on an armbar. Cenna rolled through, but Cody held the armbar on. Cena looked to power up, but Cody shifted his leverage. However, Cena managed to really power up into Attitude Adjustment position. Cody got out of it, but missed a dropkick. Cena built momentum, with clothesline and a Throwback. Cena headed up top, but missed with the leg drop to the back of the head. Cody looked for a Figure four, but Cena blocked it by twisting the ankle before locking in the STF. Orton ran in for the DQ. However, as Orton then ran away, Cena gave Rhodes the Attitude Adjustment when Cody tried a sneak attack.

WINNER BY DQ: JOHN CENA

Coming up, DX vs. Orton & Masters. I'm guessing DiBiase is on holiday...

Thanks to the UK feed sucking donkey balls, we've missed an advert about an announcement by Batista next week. At least Cole & Lawler talked about it for those not in the US..

Bob Barker comes out again for another pricing game. We finally see THE FINK~! in a spangly jacket as...

AJ PIERZYNSKI (If that's how you spell it..) COME ON DOWN!

He joins Santino, Jillian and IRS in Contestants Row. AJ puts over how much of a TNA WWE fan he is, but he's a bigger fan of Bob Barker. This time, it's a Wrestlemania 26 Travel Package that they're bidding on. One of the good ones. Well, this'll be the only way Santino gets on that show. AJ goes for a flat $1000. IRS goes for $2000. Jillian sings/bids $5000. And Santino...he thinks he's on Jeopardy, but he includes $1200 in his answer, so Santino won a trip to Wrestlemania!

Santino is over the moon in winning. And Santino's next possible prize is a hot tub! And damn, I wasnt to be in that hot tub with the Bellas right now... Santino wonders if the Bellas come with the tub, but Barker says no, it's a family show. But to win the hot tub, he has to take part in a bodyslam challenge. If Santino gets the first bodyslam, he wins the tub... And unfortunately for the prospective hot tub owner, it's Big Show!

Santino goes for it and fails miserably. Big Show picks him up and after Santino's pleading, he slams him, to THE FAILURE NOISE! Bob loses the place a little as he can't see the little referee behind Big Show. Bob says sorry to Santino, but Big Show, you have another opponent for tonight, and it's apparently another bodyslam contest. But it's a little tougher for Big Show...It's mark Henry. What's going to happen? Find out in a few minutes!

BIG SHOW vs. MARK HENRY IN A BODYSLAM CHALLENGE
Henry pounds on Big Show, forcing Big Show out of the ring as Lawler claims the hot tub is still on the line. Big Show goes for a slam, but Henry blocked it. Henry tried, but Big Show elbowed out. In the corner, Big Show worked the kidneys. Show's bodyslams are blocked. Henry counters another one and gets a leg off the mat, but Show takes control again, working the back. Big Show got Henry halfway up, but collapsed down. Henry psyched up, but Big Show blocked. Show whipped Henry into the corner but ran into a boot. Show was whipped into the corner, but Show hit a back elbow. Henry got Big Show up and he slammed him for the win!!!

WINNER: MARK HENRY

MVP appeared from nowhere as Henry sold his own back. We saw a replay of the slam before Henry slapped hands with fans.

We cut backstage to Josh Matthews with Bob Barker for an interview. He asks Barker about the most unusual moment on the show. Barker said there was no competition. There was a woman with a tube top and she got called down with her boobs falling out, as we saw a clip of the moment (boobies covered of course, although it was at the time). Josh wondered if Bob had ever been hurt. He said he had a broken toe once and a woman stand on it as well as a couple of other things. One thing was a woman of about 5'$2 and, well, the dental bill was horrific. Wow...a classy interview...

Still to come, DX vs. the Legacy leader & The guy you (and I) probably forgot was even re-hired...

Again, us in the US miss something form the US, as it's clearly been announced that TRISH STRATUS will be the guest host next week. Again though, Cole & Lawler again save us non-Yanks out by mentioning it again in the ring before hyping up the PPV this Sunday. I suppose I'm doing the Real Time for that too. Will have to remember. Lawler had the temerity to say that Orton & Cena in an I Quit match was the first time this match had happened. That might be true, but it is Orton vs. Cena Part 385461093570193.

We cut backstage to BoB barker who talks to the camera as Chavo comes in complaining about how he got screwed. Barker tries to send him on his way. Chavo mentions that Bob trained with Chuck Norris, before continuing to complain, so Barker takes Chavo out! He then reminds us to spay and neuter our pets, so I'm guessing that's Bobby done for the evening.

And indeed, we see Orton & Masters talking in the distance as the main event is next.

We come back as we get a final plug for Barker's book. But are you ready?

DEGENERATION X vs. RANDY ORTON & CHRIS MASTERS
DX came out first, tossing around half a million glow sticks into the crowd. HBK got the mic, ran some laps, and handed the mic off to HHH to start the usual spiel. he said that Rhodes & DiBiase were a great team. Just like Siegfried & Roy, but on Sunday, DX would be the white tigers hanging off their throats.

The dude with the bad hairplugs was out next, followed by Orton. Masters starts for hsi team and HBK fancies a taste. however, Masters gets the early going. HBK teases a superkick though, seeing Masters duck out the ring for a commerical break's worth of thinking time.

Well, Masters didn't need all that thinking time as he did the clever thing and tag in Orton, who was working over HHH as we came back. However, HHH made a come back of his own and tagged in Michaels. Orotn takes contorl until HBK is able to snap off a neckbreaker. Tag to HHH. Orton whips HHH off the ropes, but drops his head, allowing HHH to go for the finish, but Orton countered. Orton looked for the RKO, but HHH countered before hitting a suplex and knee drop for a 2 count. Orton was sent into HBK's boots before Michaels tagged in. However, after a whip across, Michaels met with Orton's boot before Master's tagged in. HBK slipped out a slam and hit some chops, but Masters whipped HBK up and over in the corner before hitting a backbreaker, targeting HBK's achilles heel. Well, a heel that's higher up...

Orton tags in and hits a big knee drop for a 2 count. Masters back in, and he whips HBK across the corners HARD. Masters drove the knee into the back before dumping HBK out of the ring. Orton got a cheapshot in while Masters took the referee. Back in the ring, Masters picked up a 2 count. HBK was stomped on, before Matserrs took the ref again, allowing Orton to get his licks in. Orton tagged in to stare a hole in Hunter before waiting for HBK to get back to his feet. When HBK was upright, Orton hit a great dropkick for a 2 count. Orton put on a chinlock to wear Michaels down further. However, HBK fought his way back up to his feet and out the hold. Slugfest. HBK was whipped off the ropes and he hit the flying forearm. Cole primed himself for a "Vintage..." line waiting for HBK to kip up. But Orton was first up, but once Masters tagged in, HBK popped up like Hogan taking a Vader powerbomb and tagged in HHH. Hunter ran wild on Masters hitting the facebuster, but HHH caught Orton sneaking in the ring. However, Hunter was aware of Masters behind him, hitting a spinebuster. HBK tagged back in for the flying elbow. HBK tuned up the band. I believe the note was C sharp. Orton tried to cut HBK off, but HBK knocked him down and then Orton scuffled with HHH over the announce table. Meanwhile in the ring, Masters avoided the superkick and locked in the Masterlock. However, HHH was first to recover and he broke the hold up. HBK hit the superkick and once Orton rejoined things, HHH put Orton in the sharpshooter and HBK put Masters in the Figure Four, picking up the win.

WINNERS: DX

Legacy ran down and pulled Orton out the ring, prompting a DX/Legacy brawl that headed backstage. We saw Orton lie in wait however. He slihtered back up onto the stage, looking out, possibly, for Cena. We cut backstage to the four-way brawl, with DX now getting the better of it. They headed out to the concourse as people went over tables and stuff. HBK took DiBIase outside, but Ted and Cody managed to escape out. Ted went to get the car, but DX came out. Legacy ended up stealing a car to drive away before DX could catch them.

We cut back to the ring where Orton was standing. He had a mic. He asked if we saw the look of disappointment on the faces of DX. Well, get used to it, because his boys would win on Sunday. And in the main event, he would retain the WWE Title. It's what he lives for! It's the only thing he considers important. Cena's music kicked in upon utterence of his name. Cena stormed the ring and we had another brawl on the go. However, coming back into the ring, Orton caught Cena coming back in and he hit the elevated DDT (with a little added snap to it). Orton got himself a chair and got back in the ring. He set up the chair and pulled Cena up for an RKO onto the chair, which he then hit. Orton stood over his handiwork and trash talked Cena as the show ended.

It has to be said, that was a really good ending to a fun show.