Show Open: William Regal drinking a teacup full of Robitussin DM when he's confronted by a very angry John Bradshaw Layfield. JBL sets the tone of the conversation by comparing Willie to Prime Minister Gordon Brown - "spineless." John Cena and Triple H wanted in the Backlash title shot and you just gave it to them. Just like that. Give it to 'em. Ya big pushover! How could you just do that? That match was Layfield's big shot! Now with that said, John has one demand and it's the first of many. Get him a helicopter. Send him home to New York and out of dreadful old England. You best start giving his Layfieldship what he asks for if you want to have a happy reign Mr. GM. Slick Willie presents a new scenario instead. In light of the recent claims regarding Regal's spinelessness, he'll show some tonight, sunshine. It's you, Mr. Bradshaw against Triple "Hay-t-ch." That's right.  Game on, toolbox.

Raw Theme Plays. Everybody give three cheers except the BBC.

I've chosen to forgo the stream of British slang words to welcome you to Raw. That gets bloody old anyway. Tonight's show is almost live from the United Kingdom and the announcers couldn't be happier to welcome you all to it. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler get things going and I think British Chef Gordon Ramsey said it best when he said, "Where the RISOTTO, you DONKEY!?" Actually, wait. That's quote doesn't fit at all. Never mind. Forget Gordon. Wrestling fans like their Mondays like they like their chicken wings....RAW!

The people in the United Kingdom still love Shawn Michaels. The Heartbreak Kid dances to the ring and spins around to a great ovation. Once he got that out of his system, he spoke...

"Last thing I wanted to do was to come out here an once again address the issue between myself and Batista, but it seems that no matter what country I go to, that's what everybody wants to talk about. So let's recap shall we. Ric Flair asked, no, Ric Flair demands that I be the man to step in the ring with him at WrestleMania."
- Shawn Michaels

(JG Note: Ric Flair is like WWE's Tupac.  I hear about him more now than ever.)

According to Kid Heartbreak, this thing has closure. What needed to be done got done. But hey. HBK knows the deal, Deacon Dave. This ain't about Ric Flair. This is about Shawn Michaels. You don't like him. You said it all on Smackdown. You think he held people down. You think he's a big rotten stinker. Whatever. Eff you, bug-a-boo. No one asked you. Besides, it takes more than Cliques to stay on top.

"In 1997, doctors told me I'd never wrestle again and in 2002, I proved them and everybody else wrong when I returned and exceeded their expectations and continue to do it to this day."
- Shawn Michaels

Michaels loves his job and what he's done. While he hasn't been proud of all his sins, he's tired of apologizing for them. He's apologized the best he could, the best he can, and the best he ever will be able to. Come Backlash, Davey Boy Tista, The Boy Toy is going to kick your teeth down your throat. Whoooo! Speaking of which....

Ric Flair's music plays, but Chris Jericho comes out instead. (JG Note: I guess Chris figured that Ric's retirement angle stole the glory of his big return, so he might as well steal Ric's music.) Y2J+8 walks the aisle, steps in the ring, and goes face to face with Shawn Michaels. The first official meeting of the Fruity Dressers Club can now be called to order.

Jericho reminds Shawn that the reason that Ric Flair Shuffle will never play over the sound system again is because of you , Mr. Michaels. You made it happen. You beat Ric Flair, but hey. Listen here, rubberneck. That's not why you're a ratface. Nah. There's a simple reason for that. It has nothing to do with Ric Flair either. It's that...

"You're a phony!"
        - Chris Jericho

"We all know you thrived on screwing Bret Hart. It's the truth, right? It's the same way you thrived on Superkicking your partner Marty Jannetty and throwing him through a plate-glass window like a piece of trash."
        - Chris Jericho

Maybe if you just told the truth, kid, it would set you free. While Jericho might think that Batista is being a tista bit irrational, he doesn't disagree with his disdain for you, pal. Just admit it. Actually, you know what? Don't admit. Your eyes say it all. Hey....here's an idea.

"As a matter of fact, it wouldn't surprise me if you were the guy who suggested the Ric Flair retirement angle to Vince McMahon in the first place. Right?"
        - Chris Jericho

Wow. This whole thing is about to get pretty interesting. How interesting? Kick to the face interesting.  Bam!

Shawn snaps his foot out and catches Lionheart in the mush. Chris falls while the Rocker stands over him. With a smile on his face, Michaels remarks how much better he feels now.  Ah.  97 degrees in the head.

This was the best I've seen Chris Jericho not only since he's been back, but even for a while before that. This style heel is perfect for Y2J and better than the butt kissing carnie showman. This is the character that brought him to the dance. Snide and rude, Jericho is second to none. Good to have you back, Chris.

 Retro U.K. Commercial Break.

Next week - get this - Raw presents...The King of the Ring! It's a one night tournament to determine the, uh, King. This is a great idea on WWE's part. The three hour Raws need things like this. It gives it more of a Clash of Champions feel as opposed to a long and boring feel. I'm looking forward to it already.

Right now, Santino Marella is WWE's Golden Boy. Wherever they stick him, it works. He can do solo nonsense with Ron Simmons or team with Carly, it doesn't matter. Because of his presence, they're able to get over whatever he's doing. This finally puts him in a position to do something real as opposed to dating show parodies, movie review parodies, and Playboy magazine promotions. The only thing I don't get is why Jillian Hall didn't end up managing him. I think that would work and it looked like a lock during the Maria angle for a while. Carlito is benefiting from all this too and is the perfect choice to team with Tino. As for London and Kendrick, they're gaining a little respect one week and losing a lot of respect the next. It's been a steady stream of this for a while. Here, it was the Backstabber by Carlito on London to give his team the #1 Contendership against The Suite Life of Bob and Cody.

Carlito does a promo in Spanish on the Tag Team Champions. Santino followed up with one in both Italian and regular ol' American there. He runs down what tag champions need. While Rhodes and Holly have all the best attributes, they're not "international superstars." They don't have that. No. All they have is a little racing car and a giant pair of autographed polka-dot underwear. Your days as champions are numbered! Muwahahahahahaha!

Up Next: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix. Take this opportunity to run to the loo. If your flat mate is in the loo, take the lift to the one downstairs.

Commercial Break. The British solve the mystery of Darth Vader's sinuses.

WWE Kid's Magazine is out and Jim Ross is trying to make it seem like it's not a terrible idea. There's a cartoon picture of Rey Mysterio on the cover and according to J.R., it's "fun for the whole family." The statement implies that the on-air product isn't really family friendly. OK then. If that's the case, then what's the point of making kid-safe marketing material for a product that's not? I don't really get that. Every once in a while, WWE does something that truly blows my mind. I'm at a loss on this one.

Both women got in-ring TNA-style introductions. Mickie James is in a good spot. I guess you could credit it to her feud with Trish Stratus, but Mickie needs no rebuilding. Ever. She's a go-to Diva that can win the Women's Title seemingly out of the blue and it's not seen as strange. I'm not sure I would have taken the belt off of Beth in this fashion, but what's done is done. Given the months of Glamazonian buildup she's had, I expected the title loss of Phoenix to happen far down the line on a pay-per-view. I definitely didn't expect it to happen so soon. Either way, you can't argue with talent and both of these women have it. It's pretty great to be able to look at Women's wrestling in the United States now and not roll your eyes. There's plenty of good female competitors who are eager to learn and improve each week. A few years ago, you couldn't say that. On a side note, referee Jack Doan is really pale. He's almost see-through. James spent a good amount of the match getting the snot beaten out of her. The Glamazon chucked her around the ring like a bag of jumping beans. Although M.J. tried to fight back, she couldn't anticipate the barrage of offense. Beth hit a slingshot suplex, a Dragon Sleeper, a double-armed Chicken Wing, and many other out-of-nowhere holds. It was pretty impressive, actually. In the end, one of those holds did her in. With her challenger up in the double chicken wing, she found herself rolled forward and pinned. Great finish. The crowd popped big and even Jerry Lawler couldn't help but clap. We're 40 minutes in and Raw has been really good so far.

You ain't seen nothing yet, beeotches. Still to come: William Regal vs. Randy Orton. Hoopty-hoo-jigga-what?

Next week on Raw...WWE is offering Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama a chance to wrestle each other. Man. They try to capitalize on everything. I'm half expecting them to send Kane to put out the Olympic Torch.

Commercial Break. We have Popeye's Chicken. They have Wimpy's Burgers. I smell a global takeover. Keep Bluto out of Asia!

Before the break, Mickie James won the Women's Title. Ashley, with all that crap pierced into her face, and Maria come out to congratulate her. When Todd Grisham arrives to conduct an interview, she starts to cry, like girls do. Mick follows up by expressing her joy as best she can....by kissing Grisham. Todd falls to the ground, mouth-raped by the new Women's Champion. Good day at work, Grish? I bet that makes up for the superkicks he's taken through the years.

In another section of the arena, William Regal is practicing squats (JG Note: Something I'm learning about in childbirth class. Yes. It's very disgusting. They're showing us "a video" this week. Yes. I think it's that video. I plan to keep my eyes shut and hum to myself for it.) Mike Adamle asks about his match tonight, but that's not the story here. The story here is the King of Bling Bling, Chris Jericho. Y2J shows up and confronts the G.M. about some ish. For starters, how about making a change to the Backlash match between Shawn Michaels and Batista? How about - I don't know - putting Jericho in it too? Willie likes that idea, but instead chooses to make Christopher the guest referee. That's Backlash. Let's talk about tonight. Your opponent tonight will be, hmmmmm. Let's see. Oh yes. Umaga. BAM! Oh and, C.J, your Intercontinental Title is going to be on the line. Ha! You just served!

Commercial Break. Travelocity and the U.K. salute gay flight attendants everywhere.

Mick Foley is in a new movie called Animorph starring Willem Dafoe. I know you're going to think I'm taking a cheap shot here, but I genuinely thought that they said it was called "Endomorph" at first. Honest.

3. JTG pinned Trevor Murdoch with a roll-up

Want to know how to tell if your wrestling career is in a standstill? Easy. Let's say you're having a mini non-feud with someone and that someone gets fired. Then... a long time later, that someone is hired back. If you're suddenly feuding with them again and it's as if nothing's changed, that's how you can tell. The fact that Cryme Tyme could leave for months and return to find Trevor and Lance in the same exactly spot they were in before they left is a bad sign for the cowboys. Ironically, Trev looks completely different now though. As things kicked off here, we went to the old school WWF Superstars picture-in-picture videos to show Murdoch and Cade having a backstage pow-wow. In it, Trevor was wearing his new ridiculous entrance gear. It's a giant white shiny vest thing. He looks like the King of Mars in a cheesy 1950's sci-fi movie. After we watch the pep talk, Jim Ross mocks it and offers some words of his own for the guy with Andre The Giant sideburns.

"You're good enough. You're tan enough. And damnit, people like you."
- Jim Ross

Nice one, Jim. Don't fault Trevor for getting a tan though. No one wants to look like Jack Doan. Sadly for Murdoch, tans don't win matches. Jefferson Taft Grant hit a quick roll up and got 'er done.

Backstage, Randy Orton has them crazy eyes. Those eyes are next!

Commercial Break. How come the U.S. doesn't get the cool Lost commercials?

The WWE Champion is in the ring and he's got some words to say.

And his opponent....

4. WWE Champion Randy Orton pinned William Regal after the RKO

Can you believe that there was a time when we tried to figure out how WWE could get Randy Orton over? He's skyrocketed in the last year and that needs to be pointed out. On the other side of the ring, William Regal was treated like a hero by his hometown crowd. Even Jerry Lawler marveled in shock over the ovation his Lordship received. Regal is amazing in his own right too. It's like he's aging backwards. Lord Steven Regal of 1993 looks older then the William we know today. How does that work? In a scary moment, Will nailed Randy with a backsuplex that seemingly landed right on the Legend Killer's head. It looked nasty. When they showed a replay, you expected it to be less brutal than it seemed at first, but guess what. It actually looked more brutal. Seriously. It was nuts. Despite having his proverbial bell rung, Randall fought back. They showed it one more time and the Champion, favoring his sore neck suddenly sprung out of nowhere and nailed his RKO. As he said in his pre-match promo, Ort got to beat the Raw General Manager William Regal in his own country. Although he was nearly snapped in half in the process.

Backstage, Umaga says words I don't understand. Not sure what it was. They played a commercial right after it. Maybe he said, "We'll be right back after these messages!" Yeah. That works. That's what he said.

Retro U.K. Commercial Break.

Back from the break, J.R. hypes the King of the Ring by naming past champions like Bret Hart, Steve Austin, and Triple H. That's two Bret Hart mentions in one show. If they do it again, then he magically appears. That's how it works, right? Wait...do you have to be looking in a mirror when you say it?

Man. That kid must have a scary grandma. They gave this match the same in-ring introduction that Mickie-Beth got. It seemed silly considering that Umaga is supposed to be a savage. He shouldn't stand patiently for no stinking intro. He needs a Kimchee or Skandar Akbar to chill him out in the corner. If he can contain himself for a pre-match introduction, then maybe he's not really all that crazy. Are ya, Jamala? Of course, I wouldn't say this to his face. He might beat me up like he did to Chris Jericho at the start of this one. The heelish King of Bling Bling, still hot over being Superkicked for telling the truth earlier, came back though. He tried to throw hands, but saw little success. Samoa Belly nailed the Highlighter with headbutts and elbows. Fozzy could do nothing more than fall down and like it. He landed a few butt drops and clotheslines while Jericho went for a bodyslam - causing Ross and Lawler to question his sanity. He tried for the Walls of Jericho too. That didn't turn out well either. After a series of near falls, the crowd got into it more and more. When the Samoan missed a flying splash to the corner, Chris rolled him up. Using the ropes for leverage, Y2J scored a three count. The fans went nuts.  This was a really good match and both guys are equally responsible for it.

Retro U.K. Commercial Break.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan - fighting Russians, Japanese, Iranians, and Sibling Incest since 1979. Say what you want about the Hooo Train, but he looks great for a guy who debuted the same year as Hulk Hogan. Yup. Same year. Hulk Hogan. Puts a whole different spin on him, right? He's in sick shape for a guy his age and can still go toe to toe with wrestlers who were born around the time Andre The Giant headbutt him bloody. Of course, I'm talking about other matches. Not this one. Here, he got his butt kicked. In the end, the guy B. Brian Blair was lucky to have save him from being humbled ended up pinned care of Pirate Paul and his Face Squashier.

Commercial Break. Britain has Talent Poledancers.

Backstage Todd Grisham questions Triple H about how it must be to prepare for an opponent he's never faced before. Channeling the spirit of Biff Tannen, Hunter Hearst Helmsley asks if there's anyone home in Todd's head. After all, how dumb would it be to tell you his gameplan? Come on, dummy. That ain't happening. After reiterating that he's the only WWE Champion, Gameboy offers a thought to his opponent tonight. Hey John. You should have kept that love nest with Michael Cole on MyCW. It would have saved you from a beating here tonight. Grrrrrr. I like bottled water and barbarians.

The announce team run down the big card for Backlash before shooting down to the water-spitting McSon-in-Law and the Acolyte.  Damn.

JBL works best as a bully. When Layfield is pounding on Chris Jericho or Rey Mysterio, it works. When he's in there with a guy like Hunter, who's close to his size, it feels a bit off. I felt the same way about his deal with Batista. That said, they still put on a good match together with the story being that they've never wrestled before. Both men want to earn respect and see a win in this one as the chance to get that done. Sadly, that didn't really happen. Once the action spilled to the outside, Randy Orton sprung out of nowhere like a Roid in the Box and attacked The King of Kings with a fury of punches.

The two foes battled up the ramp and into the ring. Once inside, Hunter hit a "Double A Spinebuster" and went for the Pedigree. This was stopped short by JBL's boot. The big Texan kicked Mr. Stephanie in the face and took him to the mat.

After some double teaming, Bradshaw instructs the WWE Champion to hit his running punt kick. Excited, Orton rears back and dashes towards Hunter's head....

...but is nailed by a JBL Clothesline!

Randy hits the mat and John finds him self as the last man standing. He holds aloft the WWE spinney nonsense as 2/3 of his PPV opponents lay in pain and we fade to black.

All in all...Not a bad show. WWE knows how to pull out the stops with tours of England. That's what they did here.

The crowd was hot for everything and, despite what they do in Canada, the hometown hero got to play babyface for the night. Of course, he also lost, but that's a separate issue altogether.

John Cena was barely mentioned, which was weird. He felt like a non-issue. It gives new meaning to "You can't see me."

Umaga needs a tag partner. Who? I don't know. Don't matter. He needs a partner to shake things up. He's on a steady decline with no end in sight. I suggest a partner only if they don't do what would truly save his career - send him to Smackdown. That would breathe new life into the Samoan Bulldozer. He's capable of having great matches like he did tonight, but if he loses, it still hurts.

I cared more about Chris Jericho tonight than I have in years. This is the Y2J that works best. Remember the days of taunting Ken Shamrock in a shark cage? How about Ralphus? The Man of 1001 Holds? Come on. Arrogant heel Jericho works. Cheeseball stand-up comedy Jericho sucks big time. It sounds weird, but when his promos are on, his matches are too. Hopefully this whole thing with Shawn Michaels is going somewhere. It could make for some interesting stuff.

I said it earlier, but I'm surprised by Beth Phoenix losing the title. That doesn't mean I wasn't happy with the way things played out. WWE did an excellent job of giving the title some meaning and the title matches seemed to mean something tonight.

From top to bottom, things were good this week. Next week, though, looks even better. It's the King of the Ring, baby! Yeah...oh, and that stupid Obama-Hillary stunt. Whatever. I learned that you have to sit through the things that Vince McMahon entertains himself with in order to get to the things that you really tune in to see. It's a good trade off, right? Right.

That's it for me this week. Remember, check ClubWWI.com for my exclusive 30 minute shoot interview with Jesse Ventura. That's just one of over 100 shoots including new TNA Champion Samoa Joe, Tod Gordon, Kevin Nash, Eric Bischoff, Jerry Lawler, and tons more. Plus, audio from me, ZAH, Mike Rickard, Canadian Bulldog, former WWE Tag Champion Bull Buchanan, and many more.

Be well! Thanks for sharing the Insanity.