Welcome everyone to the sold out Generic Arena right here in wherever the hell we are - Texas or something. Cole Michaelson and Matthew Joshson (known to the WWE Universe as Michael Cole and Josh Matthews) welcome us all to the show. With three eager superstar hopefuls still in the running, who will be Tough Enough...er, uh, NXT? There's only one way to find out. Kick off your shoes, lick a toad, and pick your pants off the ground because, as far as this season goes, the LST NXT is NXT!

NXT Theme Plays.

The show kicks off and so does...

Matt Striker is in the ring and he's kicking us off. Mr. Matt introduces the five eliminated NXT losers. They're seated at ringside like goons. We all point and laugh at their misfortune.

From there, we welcome our WWE Pros - Chris Jericho, The Miz, Matt Hardy, R-Truth, Christian, William Regal, Firebreaker Chip, and CM Punk.

After that set of introductions, we get another round of - yup, introductions. First up...Wade Barrett.

NXT Untrue Fact: Edna, the mother of NXT star Wade Barrett (real name: Wade Garrett) was once a house mother at Eastland, an all-girl boarding school in Peekskill, NY.

David Otunga

NXT Untrue Fact: David Otunga was suspended from Harvard University after professors noticed he had shaved the answers to their exams into his hair.

Justin Gabriel

NXT Untrue Fact: On the WWE website's Power 25 rankings, Justin Gabriel is currently #712.

After a few minutes, these three men all enter the ring and you can just see some production dude backstage checking his watch and going, "Phew. Six minutes gone."

Matt Striker takes further time to explain what's coming from all this. One man will win and challenge for the World Title on Pay Per View. The crowd barely reacts. Striker reminds them that the pros have polls. They have big polls. They're going to give us two big polls tonight and Matt couldn't be more excited to take their polls. So with that on the table, all three men have one last chance to impress the pros tonight.   That will happen in a triple threat match...NXT!  Uh, next.  You know.  Same thing.   Impress away, boys.

Eager to know who's on the NXT NXT NXT WK? Well, wonder no more. Let's meet the first entrant...

NXT Season: Rocky Harris. His father is Mike Rotunda. No explanation to why he's not named Rotunda...or R. Shyster. His Pro is Cody Rhodes. Cody loves his dad enough to take his name. Maybe they can talk about that a bit.

Commercial Break. Ghost Hunters Academy is coming to Sci Fi. It exists to make people who got bad college degrees feel a bit better about themselves. Could be worse. You could have a BA in Ghostbusters.

John Morrison is wearing his 1995 Spencer Gifts sunglasses as he delivers some weird promo about teaching his giant rookie to burn down forests.

NXT Season: Eli Cottonwood. He's seven foot one and named Eli. He could have no arms and WWE would give him a World Title run. Hell, they'd give him three.

1. Wade Barrett defeated David Otunga and Justin Gabriel

Josh Matthews tells Michael Cole that he'd send Justin Gabriel home first. He just irks him, I guess. He's irksome. Chris Jericho worked his "yelling at the announcers" gimmick from the past few weeks. He demanded that the gruesome twosome talk about his rookie, Wade Barrett, instead. They don't. Instead they talk about how the NXT NXT will feature 50% of the votes coming from the WWE Universe. (JG Note: Do you know the worst part of the WWE Universe? Uranus.) The first man out was, surprisingly, David Otunga. After Gabriel did the work to take down Mr. (My Girlfriend is on the) A-List, Wade covered him and scored the bloody three count. The match was a lot of the problem that comes with a show like this. It wasn't all that good, but it wasn't supposed to be. It's about showing the full range of what you can do and while I think some of the smart fans might like it, I worry that casual fans see it and think "Screw this. I ain't watching rookies." The crowd doesn't pop all that much and although it's the finale, you have to remember that it's still the C-Show. It makes things sort of strange. I mean, there was never a season finale of Sunday Night Heat, so we've never had something like this. The finish was pretty cool, though, I have to say. Justin went for the 450 splash, but W.B. raised his knees and nailed Gabriel right in his ribs. Three seconds later, Wade Barrett is your winner. Put that in your flower and sniff it.

NXT Season: Percy Watson. Percy is a self-professed Ladies Man. He was annoying before his ten second video package ended. His pro is MVP. Good luck with that.

Commercial Break. Half Pint Brawlers premieres tomorrow night on Spike TV. It's a show about psycho midget wrestlers. Spike must be thrilled to finally get a respected wrestling program.

Woo! Woo! Woo! Master Thespian Zack Ryder is your NXT pro, bro. His rookie...

NXT Season: Titus O'Neil. Former Florida Gator. Now he's looking to start a new career side-by-side with a guy who wears sheer shirts and half tights.

We need to kill more time, so we do that by asking the scrubs at ringside who should win the show. The eliminated chambers give their best guesses...

Michael Tarver: I wasn't listening. He shouldn't count anyway. His pro got fired.
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Daniel Bryan: He says Otunga can't wrestle and Gabriel can't talk. The crowd boos.
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Skip Sheffield: "I don't care."
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Darren Young: "My money's on Wade Barrett." He says Wade will prove the haters wrong.
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Heath Slater: Wade Barrett. (JG Note: Shut up, Heath Slater. Nobody asked you nothin'!)

Skip Sheffield should win this show. The guy became my favorite with three words. He got the biggest pop too.

Now it's time for our Elimination round. Matthew Striker does his best Probst and goes to tally the votes. First on the Pro Poll...

1) Wade Barrett

So Wade is safe. Who else is?

2) David Otunga

That means that, well, I'm sorry, Justin. The tribe has spoken. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...you're dead to us.

"I'm just a kid from South Africa living my dream and as Matt Striker so eloquently put, the dream is over."
- Justin Gabriel

That does it for Justin. He promises to keep the dream alive and all that jazz. As he heads up the aisle, Matt Hardy takes the microphone and gives his rookie some heartfelt advice. That's what it was. It wasn't just an opportunity to get his face on TV. He tries to get a pop by giving Gabriel his catchphrase and saying, "Justin Gabriel will not die!" The crowd does, though. They care about as much about all this as they do about the fire exit instructions at the start of the night. Thank you, Justin Credible, or whatever your name is. Go forth and do your flips. We've moved on. With that, we go to our next NXT rookie. You won't believe this...

NXT Season: Kaval. Yup, Low-Ki. Senshi. Whoever. Guess who his pros are? If you thought Miz and Danielson was genius, you'll love this. Ready? LAY COOL! HAHAHAHAHHA! F**K YOU, INTERNET! F**K YOU! That's nuts.

Commercial Break. There's a KFC commercial where a woman on a bus eats Fried Chicken in order to drown out the sound of an annoying passenger. That's good. Never thought of that one before. No wonder there's an obesity problem. Sheesh. It's food, not ear muffs! Ear muffs don't clog your arteries!

NXT Season: Lucky Cannon. His name is Lucky because he's...wait for it, Lucky. I thought it was because he was named after the cat on Alf. Either way, Lucky's pro is Mark Henry. You know, the giant sexual chocolate sex addict. Guess Mr. Cannon isn't so lucky after all.

More time killer as Matt Striker gives the two remaining wannabes a chance to promo their faces of at each other. First up, David Otunga:

David Otunga: He delivers one-liners to Wade Barrett that isn't really worth covering. It sounded like he was winging it and it didn't come off well. Also, he's wearing some backwards tiara on his neck. It's all very distracting and off-putting - not in a heel wrestler getting heat way. More in a "that's the weird guy on the corner we don't let the kids trick-or-treat at" sort of way.

Wade Barrett: "That was thoroughly entertaining, I'm sure it had viewers turning off in droves." From there, Barrett "pwns" Otunga like Justin Bieber vs. a glass door. He even takes a shot at Great Khali and says that even the clumsy giant is more coordinated that Mr. Hudson. Had it not been for his voice (JG Note: Which sounds like he's being slowly choked to death), it would have been perfect. Not sure what he could do about that, though. Maybe suck helium? That might work.

Striker thanks both men and tells us to stick around for the big announcement. Who will win? No one knows. Do the hungry hip-hippos!

NXT Season: Michael McGillicuty. He's the son of Curt Hennig. He, too, doesn't use his dad's name. I mean, shouldn't he be Michael Hennig...or Michael Perfect, or something? What is that about? Did he marry a woman named McGillicutty and then take her name? That's sort of weird. Stop confusing me, dude. His pro is Kofi Kingston. Kofi refers to himself as "a professional" on NXT. I always thought that meant "hooker." Then again, in wrestling "hooker" means something else altogether.  I'm so confused right now.

Commercial Break.

Josh and Michael remind us to tune in to NXT WK's NXT and send us back up to Matt Striker, in the ring. The Absenteacher readies the results, but before we can get a glimpse of his Poll, we get interrupted by The Miz...

"I am proud to announce to all of you that I will be back for season two of NXT. And unlike this season, I won't be burdened with an egotistical loser like Daniel Bryan."
- The Miz

With that, he introduces his rookie...

NXT Season: Alex Riley. If we're judging this season based on video packages, Alex won. If you get a chance to see all the videos, you'll agree.

Again, Striker goes to the poll but gets interrupted by the pros again. This time, it's William Regal prematurely congratulating Chris Jericho and causing a giant ruckus. It was all very bizarre. Chris got offended, R-Truth reminded him that nothing was over yet, and general whackiness ensued. The battle continued and Christian managed the line of the night...

"Regal, you better sit down. You haven't won a fight in a year."
-Christian

After a really awkward few minutes, things settled down and we got the final vote. The winner of the reality show that doesn't really count is...

Wade Barrett.

After the results, a dumbfounded David Otunga says he must be on Punk'd. He throws in, "Even Stevie Wonder can see it." Nothing like using 1980s Eddie Murphy bits. He then references his girlfriend, Jennifer Hudson, losing American Idol and still going on to great things. I predicted this on the Insanity forums. It's her big soundbite. She should put it on her business cards.

Jennifer Hudson
Singer, Eliminated From American Idol and Went On To Better Things Than Any Of Them Bastards

Once the loser shut up, the winner piped in. Wade Barrett garbled his way through debut promo and promised the "Era of Wade Barrett." It has an awful ring to it, but Wade doesn't care. He's riding his wave all the way to the WWE Title. With a handshake to Chris Jericho, a shot of all the NXT losers at ringside, and we say goodbye to the FRST NXT. GBYE.

All in all...This was one of the strangest wrestling shows I've ever seen. Ever.

I mean, how weird is it to see a special edition of a C-Show? There were no special Shotgun Saturday Nights. No big editions of Afterburn or whatever else they bury on local stations at 3AM. So seeing a WWE show that most fans couldn't care less about get a big send-off was weird.

Doesn't mean it was bad. Just weird. Wade Barrett has a great future ahead of him and even though I make fun of his voice, it fits him. He's still greener than month old lunch meat, but he's got something on his resume. The biggest problem now is keeping him on the main roster. It's not like they can send him to FCW too often. You can't win the reality show to get the main show and then get demoted six months later for fine-tuning. Face it. If he tanks, they have to plant contaminated pee on him and send him on his way with a website blurb. Yeah. You call it a conspiracy theory. I call it a contingency plan.

Matt Hardy is silly. He makes me laugh. They should make him play a clown gimmick and see if he goes for it. I bet he would.

Nothing on the Cole-Daniels feud tonight, but that wasn't expected. It should be noted that Michael Cole is in love with The Miz now. He hooted and hollered for Mikey's announcement that he'll be returning next week season. Not sure what they do together. Maybe they tease their hair. Ooooo! Girlfriends!

The next crop of guys looks good. I'm still laughing about Kaval. I'm also not all that sure why all these second-gen guys are taking new names...but still talking about their relatives. Saying your dad is Mike Rotunda and then using the name "Harris" raises questions for no reason. Other than that, the group looks solid.

That does it for me. Be sure to check out Bill Alfonso's 54 minute shoot interview on ClubWWI.com. The Club has tons of new content every day besides the 250+ shoot interviews you can hear the moment you sign up . I, along with Canadian Bulldog, Jay Winterz, Aaron Wood, Mike Johns, Bull Buchanan, Paul Roma,  and others contribute new stuff all the time. You can listen right through your browser, download to your hard drive, or even burn it to a CD. All for less than the price of most magazines. Check it out.

Be Well! Thanks for sharing my Insanity!