We Want Insanity
WWE Smackdown Real Time Coverage
JG's 9/23/02 Raw Insanity: The First One
Big Hero Six - Movie vs. Comic
(21 Mins) JG's Free Audio Insanity: Weird Sh*t WWE Does
ROH TV Episode 262: Purple Haze
Facebook
Twitter
TGIF: Rhodes For Glory, Cruiserweight Clusterf**k, and More
The ROHbot Report: All-Star Extravaganza Preview, Bull Dempsey, and More
The Question: Who's Your Favorite Authority Figure?
(35 Mins) Honor Nation: Satisfaction Not Guaranteed


JG's Insanity: The 9th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue

By James Guttman May 28, 2012 - 11:02 AM print


 
Click the following links to check out the past BBQs:
 

Memorial Day 2004 *** *** Memorial Day 2005

=== Memorial Day 2006 *** *** Memorial Day 2007 **

Memorial Day 2008 *** *** Memorial Day 2009

Memorial Day 2010 *** *** Memorial Day 2011

f


May 28th, 2012...Ninth Annual WWE Memorial Day BBQ...
-

Vince McMahon: So I just look at him - just like this here - and I go, "Who gives a flying crap about Alice Chelly? Just tell me when Bischoff's kid's contract's up so I can hire him and put him in a dress."

Triple H: He'd totally do it.  He looks like he really wants to be wearing a dress.

Vince: Right? It would be awesome. I might want to sign Brooke Hogan too, just so I can kick her in the face on TV. I haven't kicked a girl in the face in so long. Sometimes I think that it would be so easy to just get some rope, wait outside the supermarket really late at night with the engine running, and then when a girl walks by…What do you want?

Kofi Kingston: Hi. I was just looking for the restroom.

Vince: (sighs) It's right inside, Kofi.

Kofi walks into the house.

Triple H: Hehe. Hey, Vince. (singing) People killin', people dying. Hear them hurt and hear them Brian. When you practice what you preach, would you turn the other cheek?  Hahahaha!

Vince: I have no idea what you're doing.

Triple H: I'm singing the song by that band The Black Guy Pees. Get it? Cause he's peeing.

Vince: The Black Guy Pees? That's the name of a band?

Triple H: (rolling his eyes) God, you're so unhip.

Zack Ryder: (seemingly arriving out of nowhere) Yo, Bro. I'm pretty sure it's the Black Eyed Peas you're thinking of.

Everyone stares at Zack Ryder blankly. After about 15 seconds of silence, he smiles.

Zack: (fist pump) Woo. Woo. Woo.

Triple H: And that's why we're never giving you a push, asshole.

Vince: Ha ha. He's serious, Zackary. Now go sit down with Heath Slater and the Crime Tyme guy we didn't release.

Dejected, Ryder walks away.

Triple H: The Crime Tyme guy makes me smile. I like his cornrows. They remind me of cornbread. I like cornbread.

Vince: Speaking of cornbread, wasn't Brock Lesnar supposed to be here?

Triple H: He was here for a few minutes but then he got bored and left.

Vince: Oh.

Paul Heyman: (beaming) But I came back!

Vince: Great. What fun for us.  Now please stop chugging the bottles of blue cheese salad dressing.

Heyman looks at the half empty bottle in his hand.

Heyman: But I thought they were free.

Vince: They're free for guests to use on their salads, not to drink.

Heyman: But what if I was going to eat salad later after I chug it and then do jumping jacks in my under…

Vince: Fine! Chug the f**king salad dressing! I don't care!

Heyman: Ha. I win again.

paulheymandressing.jpg

Vince: Whatever. (to Hunter)  Fine. Brock left. What about Rock? He said he was staying for the long-haul this year.

Triple H: He's the one who gave Brock a ride home.

Vince: Oh.

Evan Bourne: Excuse me, Mr. McMahon. I wanted to stop by personally and tell you how glad I am that you invited me to your party. I thought you guys hated me. Here.  I baked you these brownies.

Vince: Thanks, Evan. Say, these aren't those pothead brownies, are they? Ha ha ha.

Bourne: Ha ha ha. Oh man. You're really funny, sir. Ha ha. Pothead Brownies! Ha! Of course they are, sir. I used a quarter of some synthetic stuff and a half of shwag I grew in my garden.

Triple H:   What is wrong with you?!  How dare you!?

Bourne: Rey Mysterio said to do it! He said you'd think it was funny.

Triple H: Well, I don't find it funny.  I don't find it funny at all!

Vince: Relax, Hunter.

Triple H: Brownies deserve respect! You show them respect! Just like the Black Guy Pees says, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, are you down with O-P-P? R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take out the O-P-P!"

Vince: What the hell are you talking about?!

Bourne: (annoyed) You dingleberries have some nerve lecturing me with Chris Jericho sitting over there. The guy's been using the Brazilian flag as a napkin all day.

Vince: Are you kidding me?

Bourne:  (stonefaced) I never kid about napkins.

Triple H leans in and stares deeply into Evan's eyes.

Triple H: Dude, are you high right now?

Bourne: Well, uh… are yooooou high right now?


Vince: This is ridiculous. Why does he have to use the Brazilian Flag to wipe his face?! Why couldn't he just use some of the Canadian Flags we left lying around? They're cool with that stuff. Although, wait. Isn't he from Canada?

Triple H: I don't know. I try not to talk to him. He's so weird. Keeps saying he wants to go on tour with Fozzy Bear  or something. Weirdo Muppet F**ker. Hey. I bet you ten bucks I can get him to jump into the pool while wearing his electric jacket.

Vince: But then he'd die.

Triple H: Yeah, but then it would be funny. I can put it on Twitter and get it trending.

Vince: Oh. OK. Yes.  Technology.  I enjoy social metalworking. I use the Google Myspace with kilobytes for my hard drive. Put that on Quicken Loans and install Turbo Tax. The kids like that ipod nano gram flash drives.

Triple H: Of course.

Vince: Yes. E-Mail. Bill Gates. Radio Shack.

Triple H: Sure. I'll go tell him.

Vince: Good. Also, send over Alvin. I need to get the next round of meat grilling.

Tensai walks over.

Tensai: Hi.

Vince: Hi. Lean in. Let me read your face.


Vince: Two hamburgers, three hotdogs. Good. Thank you, Alvin. You're doing a great job.

Tensai: Mr. McMahon, I have to be honest. I don't enjoy you letting people write their orders on my face.

Vince: Do you like your push? Huh? Because I'll be honest with you, Alvin. I have a metal plate in my head. What's that? Hello. I have a metal plate in my head. Because of that, I don't remember who you are. When they said, let's call Prince Alvin from Japan, I didn't know who you were. No idea. They say we used to work together. But - poof - no memory.

Bourne: Dude. That happens to me all the time.

Vince: (to Evan) I forgot you were still here.

Bourne: (wide eyed) Whoa. Exactly.

Tensai: We were talking about my face.

Vince: Yeah, so - long story short - I had it written into your contract that we get to write on your face. Why else would I bring you back? I have no idea who you are, Alvin. Later, I'm going to let my granddaughter practice her ABCs on your cheek. Bang for the buck.

Triple H: (rushing back over) He said he'll jump in the pool, but only if you let him stick the Brazilian flag up his nose.

Vince: Fine, what do I care?

Triple H: I thought you were Brazilian.

Vince: I'm not Brazilian.

Triple H: Oh. Uh. OK. Hey, um, what exactly does Brazilian mean? Is that the blind people writing?

Vince: Are you for real? It's a country.

Triple H: There's a country called Brazilian?

Vince: It's Brazil.

Triple H: Wait. You said Brazilian is a country.

Vince: No I didn't.

Triple H: Stop. You lost me. Start over at the beginning.

Vince: (rolling eyes) Fine, so we hire the new guy from TNA and he goes, "I have contract info on Ric Flair and this Alice Chelly chick." So I just look at him - just like this here...




blog comments powered by Disqus

JG col

JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends
(33 Minutes) James Guttman's Free 2009 Interview With Mr. Fuji
JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Facebook Posts To Annoy Your Friends
JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE
JG's Ten Crazier Fanbases Than Wrestling's

The ROHbot Report: All-Star Extravaganza Preview, Bull Dempsey, and More
TGIF: Rhodes For Glory, Cruiserweight Clusterf**k, and More
The Question: Who's Your Favorite Authority Figure?
The Bad Girls Club Season 16 - Episode 1: #LikeItOrNah
The ROHbot Report: Lockport Preview, Ospreay vs. Scurll, and More
TGIF: Daniel Bryan Coming Back, Dixie Carter Never Left, and More
Worth Your Money? ROH "Aftershock: Baltimore"
What's Your Favorite Title Change?
The ROHbot Report: Ladder War 6, Dragon Lee Debuts, and More
TGIF Mega-Edition: Adios Alberto, Lucha Tonk Man, and More
Worth Your Money? ROH "Women of Honor: Baltimore"
Who's Your Least Favorite Wrestling Manager?
The ROHbot Report: Field of Honor Results, New ROH Championship, and More
TGIF: Bo Knows Disney (Songs), Cody vs. Angle, and More
JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends
(33 Minutes) James Guttman's Free 2009 Interview With Mr. Fuji
The ROHbot Report: Field of Honor Preview, Scurll Coming, and More
TGIF: Work Shoot Repeat, A Farewell To Dudleyville, and More
Anime Verdict: Samurai 7
The Question: What's Your Favorite Stipulation Match?
The ROHbot Report: Death Before Dishonor Review, Honor Rumble in NY, and More
TGIF: Goldberg Does Brooklyn, Rexdow, and More
Anime Verdict: Wanna Be the Strongest in the World
The Question: What's Your Favorite Terrible Wrestling Gimmick?
The ROHbot Report: Ospreay Coming to ROH, DBD Preview,and More
TGIF: Oh My Gone, A Pumpkin Shall Lead Them, and More
Anime Verdict: FLCL
The Question: Who Did The Best Promos of All Time?
Worth Your Money? ROH "War of the Worlds: New York"
TGIF: Fed No More, Conor McGregor Has Like Four Dons, and More

-

JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
Oct 19, 2015
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
Oct 5, 2015
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 25, 2015
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 26, 2014
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 27, 2013
JG's Raw 1000 Insanity: The Rocky Road To Royal Rumble
Jul 24, 2012
JG's Insanity: The 9th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 28, 2012
JG's Over The Limit Insanity: The Bad Big Show Ends With The Bad Big Show
May 21, 2012
JG's 4/2/12 Raw Insanity: They Get Rock, They Get Brock, They Want Daniel Bryan
Apr 3, 2012
JG's 3/5/12 Raw Insanity: The Rock Talks Us To Death
Mar 6, 2012
JG's 2/27/12 Raw Insanity: Kung Pow Cena Tattles on The Rock's Cheat Sheet
Feb 28, 2012
JG's 2/21/12 Smackdown Insanity: Daniel Bryan and CM Punk Share a Pin
Feb 21, 2012
JG's 8/15/11 Raw Insanity: Diesel Texts Himself Into The CM Punk Storyline
Aug 15, 2011
JG's 7/25 Raw Insanity: And a Hunter Shall Lead Them
Jul 25, 2011
JG's Insanity: Vinnie Gaga - "Bored That Way"
Jul 5, 2011
JG's Insanity: The Time Traveling Announce Team Crime Fighter Heroes
Jun 21, 2011
JG's Insanity: The 8th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 30, 2011
JG's Insanity: The WWE vs. TNA Apprentice
May 11, 2011
JG's 11/22 Raw Insanity: Your Awesome New WWE Champion
Nov 22, 2010
JG's 11/8 Raw Insanity: Orton's Vipers vs. Barrett's Carrots, Aksana Steal Belt, and Santino Makes The Ginger Snap
Nov 8, 2010

Even More From This Category >>

ClubWWI.com Contact Us Forums
All content contained here Copyright - We Want Insanity Dot Com