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JG's Insanity Notebook: The Rabid Game, Hardy Condition, You Can't Stab Me, New Math, Balloon Boy, and More

By James Guttman Mar 16, 2011 - 9:48 AM print

- On Sunday Night, Jeff Hardy apparently showed up "in no condition to perform" at TNA's Victory Road pay-per-view.   When confronted with this, Hardy was livid and insisted he was…but only until someone explained that they meant performing wrestling.

- "Hey!   I can perform me a nap!"

- Sting also appeared to be visibly annoyed at Hardy's condition during the show.   In response, Matt promised he would stop eating so many hamburgers.  

- Chris Jericho is on this season's Dancing With The Stars.   Man.   That show better have dancing or else the whole title will be false advertising.

- In a somewhat related false advertising story, WWE has a new video game coming out called "All-Stars."   Drew McIntyre is in it.   I smell a lawsuit.

- Shad Gaspar was arrested this past week.   The police takedown was recorded and put on TMZ as evidence of racism.   Gaspar claimed to have done nothing wrong.   His story changed when he got to the station, though. That's when he was told they were also charging him with the $50,000 worth of merchandise he and JTG stole during their WWE vignettes. 

- Snooki is now an official wrestler at WWE's WrestleMania.   Vince McMahon had lobbied hard for her debut.   After she showed up, however, McMahon was said to be irate when he realized that she wasn't "that little white beagle from the cartoony show" he likes.

- The only way for John Cena to save face against The Rock right now is to stab him.   Serisouly.  That's it.  I can't picture this going well for him any other way.   He can't counter him on the microphone.   Do a segment where the Rock is making fun of him from his house.   Then have Cena run in behind him and just shove a paring knife into his neck.   "YOU COULDN'T SEE ME!   AHHH!   YOU COULDN'T SEE ME!"   Of course, Rock would be dead and John would go to jail, but…whatever.   We're making TV here.  

- This season of NXT features past losers fighting for a chance at redemption.   Redemption is a wrestling term for "losing on Smackdown."

- WWE has informed their announcers to ignore Undertaker's past WrestleMania match with Triple H.   Poof.   They're supposed to pretend like it never happened.   I wonder how many times Hunter has joked that he has to be "treated like Chris Benoit without the benefit of getting to kill my wife!   Ha.   Am I right?  Am I right?  Up high!   Up high!"

- People were irate this past week over WWE's decision to induct Drew Carey into their Hall of Fame.   In a related story, people haven't been paying attention to WWE for the past 15 years.   Uh, I think it's been pretty clear that this is all - you know - like balloon boy would say, "You guys said that we did this for a show."   Does Vince McMahon have to induct Krusty The Clown in order to convince you that this is all nonsense?   After years of questionable choices done for TV ratings, you think he would wake up one morning   in 2011 like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning and say, "No.   No.   I'm sorry.   Drew Carey isn't a professional wrestler.   Where's the respect for our sport?"   Come on.   If he did that, Stephanie would have him put in a home.   Not happening.   Congrats, Drew.   Your hair looks weird.

- For those asking, Erik Watts on Tough Enough is NOT Erik Watts from ClubWWI.com (and WWF/WCW) fame.   He's actually an Indy star from California with the same name.   Also, Steve Austin, the host, is not the Six Million Dollar Man from the 70's.

- I really hate the name "The New Nexus."   What happens when there's a spin off?   The New New Nexus?   Imagine if WCW did this with the N.W.O.   By the end, they'd have so many News, they'd have to use math symbols to represent it.   The New to the second power New World Order.  


I do just want to take a minute and send my thoughts to those in Japan.  It's horrible to imagine and my condolences go out to those who have suffered losses.


That does it for me, guys.   We'll have plenty more on the way so be sure to check back.   Be Well.   Thanks for sharing my Insanity.

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