CROSS EXAMINATION

undefined undefined   1.      What has more credibility, O.J. Simpson’s If I Did It or the WWE’s new Don’t Take Shortcuts anti-steroids commercial?

undefined undefined 2.      How long before the WWE releases a Big Show Diet book?

undefined undefined 3.      Do you think NBC will ask Big Show to fill in for Howie Mandel on Deal or No Deal?

undefined undefined 4.      Why doesn’t the WWE just come out and say that the tag team titles are glorified belt buckles?

undefined undefined 5.      With No Way Out held in Las Vegas, do you think the WWE warned its wrestlers from betting on their matches?

 
No Way Out - Without question, this was the best WWE PPV I’ve seen in years.   I never imagined a PPV with two Elimination Chamber matches could deliver the goods.   All of the matches were solid and all of the finishes were well booked.   While you can argue the Cena-Orton finish wasn’t clean, the rest of the show’s matches all ended with clean finishes.   I’ve got nothing against screwjob finishes but keeping them to a minimum makes them more memorable when they do happen (as long as they’re executed properly).   After last month’s Royal Rumble, I wasn’t looking forward to this show but the WWE really dug down deep and delivered a great show to lead into Wrestlemania.  This show reminded me of some of the PPV’s during the Attitude Era.   Not only were all of the matches PPV worthy but they contained twists and turns that didn’t insult my intelligence.   Here’s my analysis of last night’s show:

undefined undefined 1.      ECW Championship Match: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero (champion): These guys have wrestled each other at least five times over the last six or seven weeks on ECW but this match seemed fresh thanks to the fine efforts of both Chavo and Punk.   The ending was clean and it made Chavo look as crafty as ever but Punk as strong as ever.  

undefined undefined 2.      SmackDown! Elimination Chamber Match: Batista vs. Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V vs. the Great Khali vs. Finlay vs. MVP- the only problem I had with this match was the order in which the wrestlers competed.   Once the Great Khali and Big Daddy V were eliminated, Finlay and MVP’s late entry into the match left no doubt that the match would be won by Batista or Undertaker.   Still, an enjoyable brawl with a great finish by the Undertaker.   I won’t ruin it for you if you didn’t see it because you really have to see this PPV.   It was that good.

undefined undefined 3.      “Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs. Mr. Kennedy:  Unlike the Flair/MVP match from last month, Flair looked okay against Kennedy.   Kennedy did a good job of keeping Flair from looking old unlike MVP who pretty much danced around him the entire match at the Rumble.   Kennedy continues to show that he can make his opponents look good and carry them to matches people wouldn’t think possible (five years ago, this could describe Ric Flair but he’s just aged so much over the last few years).

undefined undefined 4.      World Championship Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Edge (champion)- Despite his reported bicep injury, Mysterio put on a good match against Edge.   Another good story told in the ring with Rey’s injury hampering him from following up on a 6-1-9, leading to Edge getting enough time to recover from it and counter the West Coast Pop with the Spear. 

     After the match, the Big Show arrived on the scene, surprising a lot of people.   At first, his return to the WWE seemed like a waste of a good surprise but things changed when the slimmed down giant attacked Rey, egging on boxer Floyd Mayweather to save his friend Mysterio.   A pull-apart brawl ensued with Mayweather bloodying the Big Show’s nose before bailing out of the ring.   Well done and no doubt a lead-in to a Mayweather/Big Show match at Wrestlemania 24.

undefined undefined 5.      WWE Championship Match: John Cena vs. “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton- Another good story told in the ring with Orton coming up short against Cena.   When the going got tough, Orton did what any chickenshit champion would do and he slapped the referee, prompting a disqualification from the referee.   Cena was none too happy with the ending so he took out his frustrations on Orton by giving him the F-U followed by an application of the STFU.   Where does Cena go from here?  

undefined undefined 6.      RAW Elimination Chamber Match:  Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga vs. JBL vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy:  Going into this match, I couldn’t help but think how Umaga has become a glorified jobber to the stars.   He always looks strong in the ring but when was the last time he got a string of victories over some big names?   Despite the fact that he lost this match, Umaga came out looking really strong as he demolished all of his opponents (including manhandling Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels at the same time with a double Samoan Drop).    The story told in this match was that Umaga was confused being in the Elimination Chamber and he wasn’t quite sure what to do other than beat people up.   In the end, he came out of the match looking stronger than ever despite losing because 1) he was so dominant in the match and 2) it took the finishers of Jericho, Michaels, HHH, and Hardy to polish him off.   Excellent match despite the ending.

 
Has Jeff Hardy hit the glass ceiling or was this just a bump in the road to Wrestlemania? When the Elimination Chamber climaxed with Triple H facing Jeff Hardy to determine the winner, I couldn’t help but start thinking about how Triple H has really gone out of his way to build Hardy up.   Hardy kicked out of the Pedigree, making it look like he was going to win the match.   Then when Triple H went for a Pedigree on a steel chair, Hardy low blowed him, setting him up for a Twist of Fate.   Just then, you could hear Jeff’s head hit the glass ceiling as Triple H countered the Twist of Fate and sent Hardy crashing onto the steel chair.   A Pedigree later and Triple H was on his way to Wrestlemania.

  The last few months of WWE booking have shown that everything isn’t always as clear as it seems.   John Cena returned months earlier than expected to win the Royal Rumble.   Rather than facing the champion at Wrestlemania, he cashed his title shot in early, surprising many people.   After losing to Randy Orton at the Royal Rumble, Jeff Hardy’s world title aspirations seemed momentary at best.   Winning the Elimination Chamber could have cemented Hardy as a true main event player but the loss to Triple H seems to have put the brakes on Hardy’s push.   Jeff Hardy is probably the WWE’s hottest act right now but as history has shown us, the fans will stop caring if a wrestler can’t win the big ones.   Right now, Jeff Hardy’s push is on a precipice.   One more bad move and he’s going over the edge right back to the upper card.   The right move could bring Jeff straight to the top but the WWE needs to make it soon while Hardy is still red hot.    

You’ve gotta have faith: Professional wrestling is episodic television.   What happens one week plays out into the following week and so on and so on.   When this is executed correctly, you have fans eager to tune in to the next week’s show and buy the PPV’s to see how things play out.   When it’s executed poorly, you have fans changing the station and wondering why they ever watched the show in the first place.   One of the key things a booker needs to do is earn the fans’ faith.   If the fans have faith in the writers and bookers, they will give them time to take them on a wild ride if they know there’s a satisfying payoff coming.   If they don’t, they’ll probably stop watching.  

One of the things that makes ECW so enjoyable is the show’s logical booking and sense of building up a program step by step.   Nothing demonstrates this better than the Chavo/Punk series.   When the program first started, the fans were wondering why Chavo Guerrero was booked in non-title matches with CM Punk week after week only to lose all of them.   When he finally won one of them with some interference from Edge (thus earning an ECW title match), he looked weaker than ever.   Imagine the fans disgust when Chavo won the title from Punk (once again relying on interference from Edge) to become the new ECW champion.   At first, the series seemed incredibly weak but in retrospect, it was a clever way to show just how badly CM Punk was going to get screwed out of his title.   The series also helped establish the Guerrero/Edge alliance on both ECW and SmackDown!, setting the stage for more interaction between the two shows.   The booking on ECW has been so good that I’m willing to let things pan out before I give up when something screwy happens (such as Chavo’s inexplicable rise to the ECW title).   That’s the kind of faith the WWE needs to establish with its fans and tonight’s show was a good way of doing so.  

Bad Call Ripley:   Does anyone have to explain why the WWE shouldn’t be shoving “don’t do steroids” commercials down our throats?    As I watched the WWE’s anti-steroid commercial, the sound of laughter filled the palatial estate of Rickard Manor as everyone watching the show with me broke down in hysterics. The thought of the WWE taking a stand against steroids and other performance enhancing substances might be admirable if the company didn’t have a much earned reputation as a place where some of its workers get their impressive physiques out of a bottle.   Why not bring in Barry Bonds to plug the all-natural approach to athletics or fly Britney Spears in for some parenting tips.  T his is either bald-faced arrogance on the part of Vince McMahon or incredible stupidity.  Either way, it needs to go away quickly and quietly.