After a long week in court, there’s nothing like rambling on about the latest happenings in the wild and wacky world of professional wrestling.   Help me wind down from lawyer mode to smark mode as I ask a few questions of you, the intelligent wrestling fan.

 

CROSS EXAMINATION

 

1. Why were the fans chanting for Matt Hardy during the NYC Parking Lot Brawl between JBL and John Cena?

 

2. Isn’t it weird how all of Shawn Michaels’ injury angles always happen during the summer?

 

3. Is it true that there are over twenty different playable versions of Kurt Angle in the new TNA video game?

 

4. How long before people start ranking Foley and Ross as one of the all-time great announce teams?

 

5. Why can’t the WWE find someone who knows how to do spray on tans correctly?

 

A GREAT American Bash- The Great American Bash was always known as one of the stronger PPV’s during the days of WCW (as well as a great event in Jim Crockett Promotions).   Between War Games, Eric Bischoff being powerbombed, and Solie knows how many great Ric Flair title matches, the show delivered more times than not.   Sadly, that wasn’t the case when the WWE began running PPV’s under the Great American Bash.   The Bash went from being the show known for great wrestling to the show where Paul Bearer was buried alive.   After last night’s show, I think that the WWE has restored some of the luster to one of the gems that was collecting dust on their shelf.   With the obvious exception of the Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer match (and even that was memorable for the delicious Colin Delaney heel turn), the show was a lot of fun, full of surprises and consistently entertaining wrestling.   WWE has really been running on all cylinders with their PPV’s and it’s nice to drop $40 on a show without getting the same sickly feeling you get when you fill up your gas tank.  

 

CM Punk World Title Deathwatch- Right now, Zah (our resident head-shaker and vice-president of the Aaron Wood fan club) is sweating like Roger Ebert.   The wagons are circled and CM Punk is surrounded by rumors that his title reign may be the dreaded transitional kind.   While it’s easy to dismiss rumors, last Monday’s dark match squash to Batista is something to take notice of but it’s hardly a reason to put Punk in the Iron Sheik column of former world champions.   The WWE knows how fans are and it wouldn’t surprise me if they had Batista squash him just to get people talking.   Same goes for last night’s title defense against Batista at the Bash.   Punk looked like he was going to lose against Batista (until Kane laid both men out) but have we forgotten our Wrestling 101?   If you want to generate interest in a rematch, you make it look like the championship is in jeopardy.   Punk had his problems with Batista last night but he also held his own for a good part of the match.   In the WWE’s eyes, Punk is barely out of his rookie stage (yeah, I know he’s been wrestling for years but that doesn’t count as far as the WWE is concerned) so they’re not going to book him as a dominant champion or some type of monster.   Punk is fine and I think he’s going to have a decent title reign with many happy returns.

 

Remembering Bruiser Brody: WWI member Sabuisgod started a great thread over in the Rickard’s House of Old School section on the message boards.   Kudos for reminding everyone that last week marked the 20^th anniversary of the murder of Bruiser Brody, one of the all-time greats.   Brody was murdered in Puerto Rico by a wrestling promoter who stabbed him in a shower.   I’m not going to go into details about Brody’s death (but you can find an excellent account of what happened both online and in the book Brody) but it bears remembering because as sabuisgod mentioned, the wrestling landscape would have been different had Brody survived.   It’s hard to believe he wouldn’t have been signed either by the WCW or WWF during the Monday Night War and equally difficult to believe he would have lasted long at either promotion (Brody was the kind of individual who didn’t put up with promoters’ nonsense and from what I’ve read about him, he could be very temperamental).   Hogan vs. Brody. Brody vs. Vader.   Brody in ECW.   The possibilities are endless but we’ll never know.   The world lost a phenomenal worker and more importantly, a phenomenal man.   Bruiser Brody, Rest in Peace.

 

Quit yer belly-aching Buck Rogers: Speaking of Brody, he was the kind of man who told promoters to go screw themselves when they played games with him.   The kind of man who got the payoffs he felt he was owed and who wouldn’t work for anything else.   A real man’s man in so many ways (not to be confused with “Real Man’s Man” William Regal-although he seems quite manly as well).   Brody knew he could be a top draw and he pretty much demanded he be treated accordingly.   It usually meant he didn’t last long in promotions because he refused to put up with the nonsense that goes on.   I can’t help but thinking how Brody could have been the one who got wrestlers to organize but then I think about it further and realize that for whatever reason, wrestlers refuse to buck the system.   I can’t see Brody sticking his neck out to organize wrestlers when history has shown that time after time, wrestlers cave in to promoters.  

 

Which brings me to my point, I am so sick of hearing about how wrestlers are exploited by the big bad promoters (and this by no means is my endorsement of the underhanded tactics used by some promoters).   The last time I checked, wrestlers are grown men and women who are capable of independent thought and reason.   They chose to get into the business and anyone who is naïve as to what the demands are for being a wrestler are either idiots or self-delusional.   You may not know how hard the business can be when you break in, but it’s hard to believe you don’t find out really quick.

 

This isn’t an attack on the wrestlers but on the assholes who are constantly deriding the business and its nefarious practices while at the same time, they’re getting some dough from their newsletters and websites.   You think wrestlers are the only people who go to work injured?   You think wrestlers are the only people who get paid a fraction of what they earn for their bosses?   You think wrestlers are the only people who don’t get health care?   Wake up!   If the wrestlers want the benefits bad enough, they can resort to the same tactics that people before them have used such as lawyers and/or unions (or come up with a new approach).   The sports world is full of examples of players taking on the owners-just look at the players’ union in the National Football League.   The players went from making peanuts (while bringing in substantial cash for the team owners) to becoming overpaid prima donnas.   You think their situation before they organized was any easier than the wrestlers’ situation is now?  

 

So the next time someone starts harping on the evils of the industry, why not ask them why the wrestlers haven’t done anything to improve their lot.   Also ask them if the wrestlers even want things to change (some do but it seems like a whole lot more don’t care or don’t want to make the hard decisions that come with making change).    The dirt sheet writers and Internet hacks cranking out column after column about the evils of the industry really need to realize that the wrestlers are no less responsible for their future than you or I.   Stop treating them like helpless children and find something else to write about.