With the book winding down, I’m happy to announce the return of Rickard’s Ramblings!   Let’s get down to business!

1.Admit it, if Hornswaggle wore a mask, you’d confuse him with Rey Mysterio.

2. Was that the sound of an RKO during the Hardy/Orton match or the Rainbow Haired Warrior’s head hitting the glass ceiling?

3. Why is Chavo Guerrero wearing the ECW belt?

4. Can anyone stop Big Daddy V (Besides Triple H who pinned him at Survivor Series and eliminated him at the Royal Rumble)?

5. Did you mark out when John Cena’s music played or did you throw the TV out the window?

Intrepid Reporting:  Once again, kudos to the wrestling journalists who broke the story of John Cena returning to the WWE months ahead of his predicted return.   Once again, the dirtsheets proved why they really deserve to be called true journalists.   The dirtsheets are on a real roll.   First, they broke the story of Chris Benoit’s domestic problems with his wife and then they uncovered the Signature Pharmacy steroid scandal.  

Rumble Rules : We don’t need no stinking rulebook-Finlay disqualified for using the shillelagh?   I know, it’s WWE wrestling so rules are there at the convenience of storylines but WTF?   Wouldn’t it be nice if the WWE tried some consistency?   Apparently, the WWE fines its referees if they don’t make a realistic looking effort calling the matches.   Maybe they should start fining the writers for leaving plot holes in the matches big enough for Big Daddy V to jump through.

Ain’t no stopping me-never mind.   Let me get this right, Shelton Benjamin comes to ECW with a strong push and gets eliminated from the Royal Rumble in 30 seconds?   “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka lasted longer in the ring than the gold standard of the WWE.   Explain to me what’s right about this.   

The return of Roddy Piper :   Speaking of ol’ Hot Rod, two things were apparent.   Piper’s cancer is in remission (fantastic news!).   Unfortunately, so was his wrestling ability.   I thought it was a shame that the WWE put him and Snuka out there.   I really hope Piper asked for the match because he had no business being in the ring in the shape he was in.   He needed to walk the stairs to get in the ring and looked like he swallowed Big Daddy V.   I’m glad Hot Rod is doing better but WWE really needs to protect their Legends.

Who’s Cena’s doctor, Dr. McCoy? -I won’t get into the debate over whether or not Cena should have won the Royal Rumble.   The question I want answered is, how did Cena recover so quickly?   The prognosis for Cena was six to twelve months of recovery before he could return.   Last night’s return was about three months.   Either Cena has a doctor from the 24^th century  or I’m starting to wonder if the WWE wasn’t playing some games with the fans.   Either way, I’m glad that he’s back.

Ric Flair -I hate to sound disrespectful to the legends of wrestling like Piper and Flair.   I have nothing but the utmost respect for their contributions to the sport.   Both men are true Hall of Famers and true legends.   That being said, I can’t help but notice how Ric Flair looks like he’s wrestling in slow motion in the ring.   I remember watching guys like the great Ray “The Crippler” Stevens when they wrestled past their prime (Stevens is reportedly one of Flair’s idols).   Stevens was a fantastic worker who you may recall working in his fifties in the AWA.   Stevens was getting long in the tooth but he still looked good in the ring.   Flair looks like his heart (actually just about any vital organ) could give out at anytime.   And as Zah and Matt Dawgs have said, his retirement angle is being booked so poorly to begin with.    Let Ric Flair be a lesson to all the younger wrestlers, leave on a high note.   Flair’s legacy continues to circle the toilet bowl as his career winds down on such a depressing note.   Think before you put him in the ring with guys who he looks bad against because of conflicts in style.   Keep his matches short.  

It’s all about the finish (that’s what she said)- traditionally, the idea of any championship match is to build up both your champion and your opponent.  So please explain the rationale behind the decision to build Jeff Hardy up for three weeks as a legitimate number one contender only to book him in the championship match as a weakling.  In case you missed last night’s Hardy/Orton match, young Jeff Hardy hit Orton with everything but the kitchen sink (that’s reserved for TNA).  Randall K. Orton bumped around the ring (something he’s good at) and got in minimal offense.  Then out of nowhere, he hits the RKO and it’s over.  Now, I know what some of you are going to say-the RKO is like the DDT in that it ends the match quickly, etc. etc.  My problem is that Orton had little offense and the ending made Jeff look like a chump.  No one said Hardy (or Harvey if you’re the nitwit they had at ringside) was going to win the title (not with Wrestlemania so close to us) but did he have to look so weak?