(1) Rey Mysterio, Batista & Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker, Mark Henry & Finlay. Finlay and Lashley started out but it turned into a stand off almost immediately.

(Commercial break) A commercial for Raw aired--complete with the sewage shower. What a way to try to appeal to new viewers.

Returning from the break, Finlay had Rey around the neck. Rey escaped and landed a moonsault from the top rope and went for a cover. A leprechaun ran out and interfered, then ran back under the ring. Then it was Mark Henry's turn to massacre Rey, but Rey "chopped him down like a redwood."

Batista tried to make the tag, but Rey did a great job of taking care of business by himself. Batista finally made the tag and started shaking the ropes like the Ultimate Animal. Rey with a 619 on Booker which was followed by a Batista Bomb, a pin, and the win for the team of Batista, Mysterio, and Lashley.

Backstage in his office, Mister McMahon was giving a speech to the Spirit Squad. Their match with DX would involve holding cells.

DX appeared to be listening in another part of the building. They cut off the sound to McMahon's office and replaced it with their own narrative--something about spanking bottoms. It was amusing if you were aware of the history, but again, this is something that people watching for the first time would not understand.

"We will never again be embarrassed by DX," vowed McMahon as the sound came back on. Won't he be surprised when he finds out they fooled him yet again?

(Commercial break) A lengthy preview of a new fall series, "Heroes," aired.

Earlier tonight the preliminary bull riding competition had taken place. The finals are yet to come. Not surprisingly, Jerry Lawler said he envied the mechanical bull. He and J.R. were set to do the commentary for the next match.

The DX/Spirit Squad match is next.

(Commercial break)

Earlier tonight, Kevin Von Erich had made an appearance. He didn't say anything, but gave the Von Erich Claw and got a good crowd pop.

Mitch was the first eliminated.

(Commercial break)

The Spirit Squadders were busy trying to pin each other, since one had a dunce cap over his face. Johnny was eliminated.

It was now two DX vs. three of the cheerleaders. Kenny headed up the ramp, appearing to quit. HBK followed him, but it was all a ruse. HBK was waffled across the back with a steel chair wielded by Mister McMahon. McMahon headed down to the ring to keep his eye on the match.

Nicky was trying to submit HBK, but Michaels countered with a back suplex. A fresh Triple H tagged in and he eliminated another cheerleader with a Pedigree. HBK superkicked another of the Spirit Squad and dropped an elbow on him. HBK delivered the chin music and Triple H made the pin, thus eliminating the entire Spirit Squad and winning the match.

Mister McMahon slugged the referee and unlocked the cage that held the Spirit Squad. He ordered them to attack DX, but when McMahon turned around, HBK delivered a super kick. McMahon and the Squad were all locked in the cage as HBK and Triple H stood on top of it, taunting their prey.

(Commercial break) A lengthy promo aired for Sunday Night Football. That just doesn't sound right. Also, "Friday Night Lights" is coming to Tuesday nights this fall. Go figure.

A promo for Sabu aired.

The Great Kahli stood in the ring looking really, really big. Daivari cut a promo for the upcoming match of the giants at Great American Bash. Well, there was one giant who hadn't been heard from, and that was Big Show, the new ECW Champion. He came out with Paul Heyman. It's not often that someone makes Show look short.

Big Show addressed Kahli and explained his place in the WWE pecking order. He had trouble remembering his title history, though. Show said he'd like to meet Kahli in the ring one day, but tonight Show was there to put Kahli over. Show was impressed by the way Kahli had pinned the Undertaker.

Of course, that brought out the Undertaker. As he did he entrance routine, JBL kept yammering.

Next week it will be the Great Kahli vs. the Undertaker in a Punjabi Prison Match on pay-per-view.

(Commercial break)

Big Show and Paul E. were walking backstage. Todd Grisham ran up with a mic and Show said if people wanted to see an extreme giant they should tune in to ECW on SciFi this Tuesday night. He'd challenged Undertaker to a match.

Tazz and Joey Styles provided commentary for the next match.

In the parking lot, Randy Orton and Brooke Hogan were talking.

Cue Brooke's new music video. If you need to run out of the room for a minute, this would be the time.

Back in the garage Brooke and Randy are still talking. Suddenly HulkaDaddy came up and sent Randy on his way. After Hogan had helped Brooke in the car, he walked around the back of the car and Randy RKO'd Daddy across the trunk, leaving a dent. Brooke climbed out of the car, playing dumb, and asked what had happened to Daddy Dearest. She completely ignored the smirk on Randy's face. This is going to be a l-o-n-g summer if we've got this angle to look forward to.

(Commercial break)

Finals of the Bikini Bull-Riding Contest: Michelle McCool (dressed like a cowboy) and Victoria (dressed like an Indian). Michele lasted 12 seconds and won. Victoria was so mad she beat up the bull.

The backstory of Edge and John Cena aired at lightening speed to bring new viewers up to speed.

Lita and Edge were headed to the ring.

(Commercial break)

(Commercial break)

The match had continued during the marathon of commercials. Cena seemed to be in charge. At least until Edge kicked him between the eyes and went for a cover. Cena kicked out. It turned into a fist fight and Cena was in control with a five knuckle shuffle. F-U, cover...and Lita pulled the referee out of the ring. Cena with a drop toe hold, an STFU, and Cena locked on a submission and had Edge tapping.

Cena won.

Cena won?

No, it was a DQ, said the ref on further review. The title could not change via DQ.

Then to add insult to injury, Edge speared Cena.

Cena flipped out, tore up the announce table, and smashed Edge across the face with a TV monitor. Then Cena put Edge through the announce table to make his point.

Cheated out of the belt one more time. The quest will continue.

***

This show definitely had an infomercial feel to it, they hyped everything WWE has to offer. Why did they have Randy RKO Hogan so soon? That could have been drawn out longer and made a much better story. Edge vs. Cena was good, but the rest of the matches were so short, they needn't have bothered with them. Undertaker on ECW? Who'd have thought?

***

Comments or feedback? I'd love to hear from you.

Mallory@worldwrestlinginsanity.com